I have acknowledged Sasuke's gushiness and will try to do something about it. It sucks making him OOC, but I'll try harder not to. Okay? I should be working on Into the Darkness, but this is so much easier to write when its inspired by music. (Oh, and it was originally supposed to be a one year time skip, but some reviewers convinced me otherwise. So, it's only a month time skip.) And also, to make it seem...err...more appropriate, I increased their ages to 16. Just to make it seem like young children are having or doing...Well, you get the idea. And no, Sasuke has not left the village yet and Tsunade is the fifth hokage.
Disclaimer: For the final time, I do not own Naruto. "Surrender" is copyrighted and belongs to the band Evanescence. I can't hope to own them either.
Warnings: None
Chapter Three: Surrender
(Introduction Song: Hokage's Funeral Music)
The hospital released Naruto the very next day, spurning the anathema before he had a chance to fully recover. Not that this was new to him. It wasn't. It was only the way that the entire village treated him with the exception of a handful of people. But now...four weeks later...as he stood overlooking a landscape of Sakura trees, he wasn't so sure anymore.
He sat beneath one of the Sakura trees, allowing the sweetly scented pink petals to dust his shoulders. He shivered slightly in the cool damp breeze. Ominous clouds hung heavily in the sky. All in all, it was the worst weather Naruto could have imagined for the day marking the one-month anniversary of his suicide attempt.
Depression plagued him like nothing else could. Sasuke hadn't said a word to him after the kiss. In fact, the genin had grown even more distant than before. He showed up for training practice, and then disappeared as soon as it was over. It seemed like he didn't even bother to try catching the blonde's eyes anymore and Naruto was left with mixed messages.
Sasuke had said that he liked him, so then why was he avoiding him? The action hadn't been subtle either and that made it rougher on Naruto. Silent tears began carving their way down his cheeks. He tugged at a strand of hair, sighing sorrowfully as he gazed heavenward.
"Why did you bother to save me...Sasuke? I wanted to die."
'Is this real enough for you?
You were so confused
Now that you've decided to stay
We'll remain together'
He wanted out. His soul was pounding to be free from anguish. His heart was telling him that it had been broken too many times and could not stand so much as a touch by another person. His body cried out in silent agony like it always did after being beaten by the villagers.
Just then he heard footsteps behind him and hastily wiped the tears from his eyes. He turned to see a raven-haired genin standing before him. His heart tap-danced inside his ribcage.
"Naruto. I've...come to tell you something." he said, looking sideways.
"Yeah? Is that so?" asked Naruto, trying desperately not to say anything that might drive Sasuke further away.
"Naruto...When I...When I kissed you, it...it just didn't feel right. I...I'm more of a loner. So I can't be with you. I'm sorry."
He disappeared, leaving Naruto's spirit torn to shreds on the ground beside. It began to rain. He held his composure until he was sure that Sasuke was gone and then a harsh, choking sob escaped his lips; he fell to his knees, curled up into a ball, and began to cry.
'You can't abandon me.
You belong to me.'
Without becoming aware of it, his legs suddenly got up carried him to the spot where he'd attempted to drown himself. Was this a sign? Was he destined to try again? He climbed up the hill, looking down once more into familiar waters.
But this time was different. Naruto knew the depth of the water. Knew exactly how long it would take him to drown this time. Knew the agony following through with it. Knew that he could do it...Would do it this time.
What was the point of living if nobody loved you? He had no one special. Had no friends that really understood his depression or the reason behind the bruises he hid. This...He would do it this time. He would end the pain of living and he would do it correctly.
Kakashi had been carefully watching Naruto ever since his departure from the hospital. From the empty tears that made him feel something indescribable to the anguished words of self-defeat, he'd been watching the genin.
Now as he leapt from tree to tree with all the silence of a jonin, he watched. His clothes were damp and stuck to his form like a second skin. With every landing the tree rustled ever so slightly, sending a small storm of leaves to the ground.
He looked up, familiar with this environment. It was just a small way away from the training grounds. And according to Sasuke, it was also the place where Naruto had attempted to drown himself. What was he doing here, and why? What reason could the genin have returning to place that surely must cause him so much grief?
In disbelief he watched Naruto approach the riverbank. With a sinking feeling in his heart, he knew what blonde was about to do. Emotions lanced him in place; he found himself unable to move as Naruto looked down into the water, his expression unreadable. Finally...
'Breathe in and taken my life in you
No longer myself, only you
There's no escaping me, my love
Surrender.'
He was just about to let go when a fist dug into the back of his shirt and yanked him away from the water's edge almost painfully. He fell to the ground and looked up tearfully into the eyes of his sensei.
"I leave you alone for a few weeks and you're back to this." Kakashi said, his eyes flicking to the river and back to his student. "What's wrong with you, Naruto?"
"What's right with me?" he replied bitterly. "Just let me go. I don't...want to live anymore."
Kakashi's mouth dropped open. He sighed. It was easy to tell that Naruto was depressed now, but before his attempt it had been impossible to see the suffering that went on in the poor genin's life. But to think he wanted to die again, so soon after nearly drowning...It was too much for him to fathom. He needed to get Naruto out of this village to somewhere safe; he was unable to watch Naruto through all of the difficult missions he faced daily.
But the Hokage would surely disagree. The chances of Lady Tsunade allowing the Yondaime's son out of the village for a short time were slim to none. Still, he had to try. Inside of him a piece of his porcelain heart had cracked away. Any more traumas would surely result it the fragment's destruction. He could not allow one of his precious people to die. Not the Fourth's legacy.
Deciding at last to help the blonde as best he could, he knelt down beside Naruto and gently touched his shoulder.
"If you talk about what's depressing you, then maybe it will make you feel better."
"Nothing is going to help me now." Naruto mumbled. He pulled up some grass for him to play with while he spoke.
Kakashi was both furious and frustrated at the same time. Had Naruto really hidden his true self behind a mask of impenetrable defense since his early years of life. He had never seen the genin so sullen and negative before. It was always a bright smile with the words "Believe it!" tossed in. Now it was...now it was, "Nothing can help me now."
'Darling, there's no sense in running
You know I will find you
Everything is perfect now
We can live forever.'
Ignoring the words, Kakashi spoke again as if he had never heard the blonde at all.
"But first we really need to get you inside somewhere. It's going to pour any second. Come with me."
Naruto didn't respond, only gazed morosely at the ground. Soon he found himself being led by the hand to what was presumably Kakashi's house. Before he realized it he was sitting on a couch in Kakashi's den with a cup of hot tea before him.
"Talk." the silver-haired jonin said, looking the other straight in the eye for a second before Naruto turned away.
Kakashi prevented himself from sighing. Why was Naruto giving him so much grief? It was merely a simple question. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that perhaps it wasn't actually the challenge of talking, but rather the physical process of overcoming the emotional barriers he'd set up to prevent himself from getting hurt that was the more difficult task. Finally, Naruto coughed slightly and drew the elder's attention back towards him.
"Sasuke kissed me," he blurted out, "...and told me that he liked me. You already know that him like him...because you read the letter."
The last words were edged with sorrow and deep, deep despair. Kakashi felt the fragment slowly mending itself. So that's what it was. Naruto didn't hate living. He just hated life itself. The challenges thrown at him in his non-existant childhood had scarred his heart and left it vulnerable to love and affection.
"But..."
"He's been avoiding you." Kakashi nodded; he had not failed to notice Sasuke's increasingly distant and difficult behavior.
"And now...he says he's a loner...so he can't be with me. Was I asking to much?" Naruto asked softly.
Two tiny rivers started up again, rushing down his face driven by gravity. A damp spot appeared on one of his long sleeves.
Kakashi couldn't quite grasp how two completely polar opposite people such as Naruto and Sasuke could like each other. But still, it wasn't impossible. In fact, that was probably why they did. They balanced each other out. And now that he was seeing the depression hidden away for so long, locked behind a mask of smiles and fake truths, he felt that he needed Sasuke more then ever.
The jonin needed to talk to Sasuke and he needed to do it soon. Sasuke had admitted what he thought was impossible: his feelings for Naruto. The two had been almost inseparable, in spite of their outward dislike of each other. Wherever Sasuke went, whatever he achieved, Naruto was there right beside him ready and willing to defeat whatever challenge lay ahead of him.
Or perhaps that wasn't the case anymore. Kakashi certainly didn't see it that way now. It seemed to him that Naruto's boisterous loud behavior was only a front to hide the melancholia.
"No, Naruto. You weren't asking too much. Relationships are probably difficult for Sasuke considering all he's been through in the past. He might be more afraid of losing you."
"Oh...Well then, I guess...What should I do?"
Kakashi found himself confronted by a pair of desperate blue orbs.
"Go talk to him."
A ghost of a smile graced Naruto's lips for the slightest second before it was replaced by their new doubtful expression.
"Alright." he replied.
What was he doing, really? What could be done? If Sasuke didn't want a relationship, then he wasn't going to force it on him. But he wanted it. Wanted more than anything to be loved by someone. And if that someone was Sasuke...Well, it didn't bother him. He would keep that tiny flame of hope alive until he talked to Sasuke.
Kakashi heard the boy thank him before saying goodbye and got up to make himself another cup of tea. When he returned, Naruto was already gone, descending the steps out into the pouring rain.
'Sasuke, don't be an idiot.' he thought. 'Naruto really needs you. Don't let him down.'
He gazed outside through the foggy window at the thick black clouds in the sky. 'We're really in for it.'
'You can't abandon me
You belong to me.'
Naruto was drenched to the bone by the time he reached the skirts of the Uchiha District. Before him stood a mansion of enormous size and shape. He could easily see at least four or five floors within it. Was this really where Sasuke spent his time when he wasn't busy training? Was living in this lonely forsaken place a punishment deemed worthy of Sasuke? Did he blame himself for the massacre of his family several years ago?
"Sasuke..." the name escaped his lips in a chilled whisper.
Sasuke was eating a light meal when a peculiar feeling crawled across his shoulders. He pushed the chair back and stood. It was almost as if something were tugging a line attached to his heart. He followed the pull until it led him to a large window overlooking the entire village of Konoha.
He looked out at the dark clouds boiling and churning and smothering the sky with its potency. It was definitely going to get worse. There was something there. There was something he was meant to see and he wasn't seeing it. He switched his gaze to the ground below him. In the pouring rain he nearly missed the orange clad ninja huddled against a tree as the storm raged around him.
"Naruto? Is that Naruto?" he asked himself, breath fogging the window and blurring the genin from sight.
He hopped on one foot, then on the other as he yanked his sandals on. He threw a clear plastic rain slicker over his form, taking care to pull the hood over his head, and ran to the door. Before he knew it he was out in the torrential rain.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?!" he shouted over a loud peal of thunder.
Naruto didn't answer him; his face was blank and wore a slightly downcast expression.
"NARUTO!!"
Still the boy was unresponsive. Sasuke sighed. He closed his hand over Naruto's ice cold wet one and began to lead the genin to the house. Once they were inside, he told Naruto to stay there while he went to get him a towel.
He held out the towel, but Naruto didn't accept it. It was impossible to make out the tears with his face so wet. Sasuke sighed. Why was he acting like this? What was wrong with him? Couldn't he see that he looked like a drowned cat standing in the doorway?
Embarrassment flushed Sasuke's cheeks a pale pink as he threw the towel over Naruto's shoulders and proceeded to dry the boy off. This...This was just too awkward. Too...this touch...this contact was too unfamiliar to him. He wasn't used to such familiar contact with another and it nagged at him like a splinter in his foot.
'Breathe in and take my life in you
No longer myself, only you
There's no escaping me, my love
Surrender'
Naruto could not stop shaking even though Sasuke was rubbing him down with a towel. A glance at his fingers told him that they were blue. It didn't mean anything. He couldn't feel them anywhere. Exhaustion sapped him of what little strength he had left. Before he knew it he was face up on the carpet, staring at the ceiling with a dumbfounded expression. The last thing he saw was Sasuke's concerned face peering over him.
Sasuke heaved Naruto onto his back and carried him to the bathroom. He set Naruto down in the ornate porcelain tub and turned on the hot water. Immediately steam began to fill the room. He knew he needed to warm the genin up or else he would probably become ill. Even if...He shook his head. He couldn't have Naruto getting sick. He was already coping with depression.
With a sigh, he breathed in the warm air. Did he like Naruto? Truth was, the kiss hadn't told him anything. It had been too awkward, and the other genin hadn't...well...it hadn't been a joint effort. But...he really wanted to know. Could he help Naruto? Could he love the orange-clad ninja for who he really was?
Butterflies fluttered in his stomach, making him feel uneasy and even more embarrassed about the whole situation. If it weren't for the steam coated mirrors cradling the bathtub he would have been able to see his blushing face.
Sasuke swallowed. Naruto still hadn't woken up and this further tapped into a well of concern buried deep within him. He let Naruto soak, keeping an eye on his chakra in case of abnormalities. He quickly retrieved a pair of baggy dark blue jeans and a plain black t-shirt. Uchihas, he'd decided, did not wear bright colors. But what did that mean? Was he claiming Naruto as his in a way by allowing him to wear his clothes?
No. That was ridiculous. It didn't mean anything at all. He retraced his footsteps, having forgotten to grab a pair of socks. As he gazed into his clothes drawer, he realized that he would need boxers as well and that he would have to change Naruto's clothes for him since he was unconscious.
' Hands up slowly
Give into...'
A scarlet blush raced across both cheeks. He swallowed nervously as he carried the garments to the pile of clothes on his bed. He retrieved a few more towels and lay them on the bed before finally going to retrieve Naruto. With the weight of his wet clothes it was easier to carry him bridal style although doing so made him feel extremely uncomfortable.
Sasuke mustered up all the dignity he could and reminded himself that Naruto would get sick without his assistance before unzipping the boy's orange jacket. He slid that off and set it down beside him in a pile. There was a ball of lint stuck in his throat. He coughed several times, his face turning pale pink in spite of his usual cool, distant Uchiha front.
He had a little trouble taking off Naruto's shirt but with some work he was able to get it off. Without the jacket and shirt on, he could see how thin Naruto really was. It was almost...anorexic. Really, he was too thin. He looked like he hadn't seen a good meal in several months. He also caught sight of the deep bluish-purple bags under his eyes. With his wet hair and physical condition it was safe to say that Naruto looked like shit.
Swallowing again in anxiety, he shut his eyes and his hands fumbled with the zipper. Finally he managed to get it undone. He almost sighed in relief when suddenly he felt his hand brush against a certain something. He shivered. Oh, gods...What had he done? He had just practically molested Naruto by accident. Still...there was a tiny, tiny voice in the back of his mind that told him he liked it. Sasuke was in flat-out denial. He liked another boy but had absolutely no idea how to go about pursuing a relationship at all.
'Breathe in and take my life in you
No longer myself only you
There 's no escaping me, my love
Surrender
Surrender
Surrender
Surrender'
The raven-haired boy tugged the pants off and set them on the growing pile of clothes on the floor. To calm himself down he settled for trying to get Naruto's chain-mail vest off. He wouldn't say it, but the genin did look rather...sexy...in the gear. No. No, no, no! He would not permit his mind to abandon him for the gutter.
He couldn't help it. Everything he did seemed to further arouse him. He looked down to see himself half-hard and groaned in annoyance. Hoping that it would just go away on its own, he slid his fingers beneath the waistband of Naruto's boxers and pulled them down.
Oh god, oh god, oh god. He could feel his face burning as he used the towel to dry Naruto's...err...privates with his eyes shut tight. Hurriedly Sasuke began dressing Naruto. Luckily the only hang-up he had was zipping Naruto's fly. When the genin was done he sighed in relief. He put on a quick load of laundry to wash his and Naruto's clothing together. He didn't want...although, he didn't really mind Naruto leaving in his clothes. It sort of made him feel...special.
Naruto was still unconscious, but his breathing and heart rhythm were both as they should be according to Sasuke. What next? What were his next plans? Would he leave Naruto home and try teleporting again. No. He didn't think so. It was too risky to get caught out in the storm.
He gently lay the blonde genin down on the bed and drew the sheets and comforter to his chest. All he could do now was sit there and wait for him to wake up. He had nothing else better to do. The cleaning woman had come by just other day and had been paid handsomely.
As he sat on the bed, he sifted through his thoughts. Did he really like Naruto? His body's reaction to an action as simple as undressing him...Was it proof of his feelings? Or was it just normal teenage hormones? Whatever the case was, he wasn't sure about how he truly felt for the blonde.
'There's only one way to do this...but that's...impossible.'
But the more he thought about it, the more plausible it seemed. It really was simple. If he kissed Naruto, really kissed Naruto, then he would know for sure whether he liked Naruto or not.
'You will surrender to me
There's no escaping from me
I know you want her to be...
You must surrender to me.'
Well, what do you think of that? I know the ending was kind of crappy, but I tried. Meh. I'm still not satisfied with it. Hopefully I'll get some feedback that'll help me improve my cut-offs on the chapters. Take care and thanks for reading this chapter of Underwater.