Hello again! Yes here's chapter three! I'm happy people are reading my story but there's still no reviews. Come on people! I want your input! Tell me what's good and what sucked! So anyway here is chapter three enjoy and plz R AND R!

I remember the day Snake first arrived. He was instantly granted a first string and didn't leave his tent for 3 weeks. All his food was brought to him. Even traveling he had his own trail car. Still to this day him and his 'friends' are shy still so he mostly keeps to himself. Like I do I guess. But it's not out of shyness. Everyone I've ever gotten close to we're killed. 14 years being tortured and played around with led to an escape with rustled in a friend who I had met there to be killed trying to save me. 2 so far spent traveling with the circus.

I sighed loudly as I rolled over on my bed. It was some time in the early morning and I still couldn't sleep. It had nothing to do with the cold I was warm under my blankets. That look on Snakes face when I asked why he finished his sentence with his snakes irked me. Not in bad way. Just the look was the same I had seen on my face to many times. Insecurity... Hit my mind. That had to be it. I don't know his past but I know I wasn't pleasant. I don't think he knows my past but rumours spread and he can easily guess I wasn't born this way.

"Aaaghhhhhhhhh!" I snarled and sat up. I pulled off my thick Cotten night gown and pulled on my daily clothes only putting on a longer warmer corset. But grabbed a thicker cloak and swung it over my shoulders. I can't let myself become so attached to him... I won't. I breathed setting foot out of my tent. The night was pitch black but lit up with a full moon. Everything was covered in frost and it crunched below my feet as I walked. Something caught my eye as I walked. I looked down to find a small snake.

"Dan! What are you doing?" It was the tiny size of my finger snake the Snake kept on his ear. I bent down and held out my hand letting him slither on it. His tiny body was ice cold and I knew that wasn't good. I held him closer to my face and felt his tiny tongue touch the tip of my nose.

"Come on you." I whispered tucking him in the edge of my cloak at the base of my throat. I walked back to my tent for the cold was beginning to get to me. I didn't bother changing I just slipped out of the cloak and boots and crawled back into bed with Dan curled up in the palm of my hand. The moment I closed my eyes everything lit up in flames.

"NOOOO!" The five year old version of myself screamed as she was being dragged aways from the burning house.

I blinked and opening my eyes to find dawn light filtering in. I opened my hand to find Dan who was feeling a lot warmer. He lefties his tiny head to look at me. I sat up and held him near my face.

"Good morning" I purred. I quickly brushed out my hair and slipped my boots and cloak back on since I had fallen asleep in my day clothes. I tucked Dan against my throat again but this time out of sight. I made my way over to the dining tent and slipped in. Everyone was looking toward Joker who was standing on a table.

"Ok guys listen up! Snake is missing one of his snakes. It's a little tiny one named Dan did you say?" I looked down at Snake and he nodded. I sighed walking over to them.

"Good morning Snake, you know, I didn't fall asleep until rather late last night so I took a walk. And on my walk I found a snake. He was small. Very small and I thought why would he be out here so early in the morning? So I picked him up and took him back to my tent to warm him up." I said reaching into my cloak and pulling out Dan who wrapped himself around my finger. Snakes eyes widened.

"He must have fallen last night and you didn't notice" I said placing him into Snakes open hand. He opened his mouth as if to say something but closed it.

"You should take better care of your pets" I sighed turned and walked out of the tent. I headed over to the animal tent to see if Betty and Kerjack had been fed yet. When I got there Beast handed me a dish and nodded her head to Betty's cage.

"Have at it" she said. I nodded and took the dish to her cage. The large cat lifted her head when I approached. I opened the door and placed the bowl in and shut the cage. I stepped back and took a deep breath suddenly feeling very light headed.

"Alari!" I heard Beast call just before I hit the floor blacking out.

"Please stop... It.. It hurts" I cried out.

"Your body is reacting well to the treatment." He said strapping me down to the cold metal table. I whimpered, my tail bone burned along with my fingers. My bald head felt overly exposed. Suddenly a sharp pain bloomed along my skull. I gasped and opened my eyes.

"There she is!" It was Doctor. I blinked a few times as his face came into focus. I was laying in a spare bed in the first aid tent. A warm blanket tucked around my body.

"What?" I muttered trying to sit up. He placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Steady. You passed out. Tell when was theist time you ate something?"

"Umm yesterday morning?" I guessed.

"Not good. For your self being Alari you need to keep a steady diet." He said handing me a glass of water which I chugged and gave back. He handed me a plate with four pieces of toast on it.

"What time is it?" I said scarfing down the bread.

"Around 4 in the evening. You have been out for awhile. Joker was in earlier to check on you. He seemed pretty concerned but he's been busy with Dagger all day assessing two new recruits."

"New?" I asked.

"Yes one is that man from last night and with him a rather small boy." Doctor said.

"Huh"

"I know. He stated that he was a butler and the boy he brought was a page boy I think?" He said.

"Well then." I said. I threw the blanket off and swung my legs off the bed. I was still dressed my corset, tights and skirt. Doctor came rolling over with my boots and cloak in his lap.

"Here you had a tear in your cloak and I changed the laces on your boots. They were getting worn out."

"Thanks" I said slipping them on and tying them up. I swung the cloak around my neck and tied it up. He handed me a cup with a murky red liquid inside.

"Doctor what is this?" I asked sniffing it.

"It's just a mixture of vegetables. I spent an hour making it. I had to grind each vegetable so drink it all.

"Why?"

"You only just ate and you have a weaker heart then most. There's a lot of nutrients in that." I took a sip and choked.

"It tastes like dirt!" I coughed.

"You don't have to drink it all." He said smiling. I chugged half the glass nearly coughing it back up. I handed the back remainder.

"Nasty" I hissed laying my ears back. Doctor laughed.

"Relax kiddo your not the only one I've given it to. I make it for all who pass out due to lack of food. Gets you going again" he smiled. I nodded frowning.

"Maybe use some fruit next time." I said leaving the tent and heading to the show tent. When I got there everyone was turned to Joker. I made my way in but stayed at the back. I peered through the crowd and caught sight of Sebastian and a really small boy standing beside him.

"I'd like to introduce you all to our two newest." He pointed Sebastian "Black" and then he gestured to the small one" and this is Smile" I smirked as I watched the Smiles face fall but then spring up into a dazzling smile. No wonder I thought. Smirking I left the tent.

"Hey!" Someone called out from behind. I turned to find Snake running toward me. Instantly I blushed. No.

"I... I never got the chance to thank you" he stuttered catching up to me. "Says Wordsworth" he looked away. And I could see the slightest reddening on his face. I can't let myself do this! I nodded, turned and walked away. I didn't want to hurt him. So I didn't look back I just kept walking to the dining tent. Even though I had just eaten I needed something to get the taste of dirt out of my mouth. When I got there and grabbed a bit of food and walked over to where I saw Beast sitting alone.

"Hey Alari" she said when I sat down. I nodded. She had a remarkably sad look on her face.

"Beast?" I asked. She turned to me.

"It's nothing. But are you ok? What happened?"

"Passed out from lack of food. Nothing bad. Doc gave me a drink that tasted like dirt and I'm feeling better now." I said stuffing a large spoonful of beef stew in my mouth. She smiled didn't touch her eyes.

"Ok Beast what is it?" I said putting my spoon down.

"I like Joker, but... But he doesn't like me in the same way."

"Have you talked to him about it?" I asked picking up my spoon and taking another bite. I watcher her shake her head no.

"Alari you wouldn't understand, it's not like you need to try and impress him everyday. I try so hard everyday but its like he doesn't even notice." She sighed.

"Well stop trying and start doing Beast. Your obviously not trying hard enough"I said finishing off the stew in my bowl and standing up and heading over to put my bowl away. As I was walking to the entrance to leave Beast stood up and walked over.

"Well what do you know Alari, you don't have to try! I see the way Snake looks at you!" She said in barely a whisper. I stopped feeling my heart speed up.

"What. Did. You. Say?" I hissed barely turning laying my ears flat.

"I know you heard me Alari!" She snapped louder. I turned hissing and left. Walking back to my tent I clenched my fists. No it would be easier if he just stayed away. Why me? I would never forgive myself if he were to be hurt because of me. NO! I shouldn't even be saying that. I hissed loudly rounding a corner on my way to the first string member area but stopped suddenly when I saw one of the new recruits that had been with us for a few weeks now in a heated argument with Black and Smile. I took a deep breath and kept walking. When I was just passing the trio I smirked and opened my mouth.

"I have to agree with you Suit, I don't trust the demon or his master." And with that I kept walking. Once in my tent I sat down at my vanity. Sighing I picked up a brush and began brushing my blond hair. I preferred keeping it short, just down to the middle of my neck. I arranged it so it curved neatly around my ears. I sighed and look in the mirror. My eyes a piercing green appeared human and the black lines of makeup were a bit smudgy. I wiped my face clean and redid the lines.

"If I were a full cat I would be a black long hair to assumption. My tail was long hair and thick. Sighing I stood up and walked over to my bed sitting down. I then stiffened.

"What do you want demon!" I hissed.

"How do you know I am a demon?" Sebastian or Black stepped through the shadows.

"One I don't know anything about missing children. And two I read." I said flatly. He frowned.

"I over heard your conversation with Suit."

"He's on the same case. But I wouldn't trust him either he's-"

"A reaper. I'm quite aware. Now I have no useful information nor would I give it to you if I did so get out." I snarled. He simply nodded and left. Damn demons. I slipped off my boots and cloak and slipped under the covers. Sudden exhaustion came over and I closed my eyes falling into a steady sleep. I dreamt of nothing but it felt as if seconds had passed when I blinked open my eyes. Pitch black which meant night had fallen. How long had I been asleep? I rolled over and looked at the clock reading sometime after midnight. I sighed and lit the gas lamp by my bed. I stood up and stretched, ugh I needed to change. I changed into a fresh pair of tights and a new skirt the was still lace but longer in the back then front. I put on a dark blue corset that covered my whole torso and chest. I placed on a black scarf and my boots then picked a long black cloak. I turned off the lamp and headed out. I made my way over to the dining tent. I slipped in to find Joker was still awake and in the corner was Snake. I sat down by Joker who smiled at me.

"What are you still doing up?" He asked.

"I just woke up actually. Didn't feel like going back to sleep." I said. "What are you still doing up?"

"Sleep isn't agreeing with me." He said taking a sip of what smelled to be rum and laying his head on the table. He was drunk.

"Hey listen I was talking to Beast earlier." He shot right.

"I know she likes me a lot and I like her to but I don't want to do something I will regret. I've always put all my effort into the circus ya know."

"Well Joker if your going to let her down do it easy and stop leading her on. It's breaking her heart." I said.

"I know." A sad look crossed his face. I said he'd and took the bottle taking a sip. It was defiantly rum.

"So your getting drunk to avoid girl problems." I said smirking taking another sip. He laughed feebly. He set his head down on the table with a thunk.

"Huh Joker you should go to sleep." I muttered shaking his shoulder. He groaned but made no attempt to get up.

"Fantastic Joker don't make me drag you." I hissed. He still didn't move to I put his arm around my neck and stood him up.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH at least help me your heavy!" I hissed louder.

"Here let me says Emily" Snake said taking Jokers other arm.

"Thanks" I laughed breathless. It took Snake and I roughly 15 minutes to get Joker back to his tent. Together we began walking back to the dining tent. Maybe just maybe I could get close to him for a while. I'm going to regret this. I looked over at Snake as we walked. He had three snakes on him. One I knew was Dan. The tiny one on his ear.

"I know that's Dan but who are the other two?" I asked.

"Emily and Wordsworth." He said pointing.

"How many have you named? I know you have a lot but you only seem to carry around the same ones."

"You know Emily, Dan Wordsworth and Keats. But I also have Goethe, Oscar, Wilde, Webster and Bronte. "

"How come you have only named nine? I asked. He smiled. It was a true genuine smiled that touched his eyes.

"Why do you ask so many questions?"

"Ever heard the saying-"

"Curiosity killed the cat?" He cut me off.

"But satisfaction brought it back!" I said smirking.

"I named them because they are my favourite." He said.

"Oh" I said. When we got back to the tent I sat down at a table across from him. He set down Dan on the table to slithered over to me. I let him slide onto my palm and around my fingers. I set him back down on the table. My ears twitched.

*squeak*

I stiffened.

*squeak squeak*

Just out of the corner of my eye something small and grey shot out from under a tent.

"MOUSE!" I half screamed and shot at it. I ended up four tables away half under a table the mouse between my fingers by its tail. It squeaked loudly. I crawled out from the table and stood up. Someone started clapping. I turned to find Snake smirking at me. Instantly I blushed. I walked over and sat back down.

"Oh shut up" I said when he started to laugh out loud. I blushed even more. I had never heard him laugh before.

"Graceful. Very graceful." I blushed beyond red and looked down. I set the mouse on the table and it scurried away.

"It's not funny Snake I can't help it sometimes." His face instantly went serious.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you" he said.

"No it's just people don't understand what it's like live in the shoes of someone like me"

"Your looking at someone who does. Honestly I've done worse." He said. "But what you did was kind of cute" he said and I instantly went crimson. Crap. I was falling for him and now I don't know if I can catch myself.

"Snake I can't do this" I said.

"Can't do what?" He asked.

"I can't let myself get close to you. I can't." I said beginning to shake.

"Alari?"

"Everyone I've ever gotten close to was killed because of me. Snake I joined the circus for reason. We're always moving around. They won't find me that way." I said standing up.

"They?" He asked.

"Ever since I escaped everyone who sheltered me and helped me were murdered. That's why I'm here. We're always moving. It makes it harder to find me." I said turned and left. I sprinted back to my tent and sat on my bed in the dark. Thick hot tears streaming down my face.

"No! Not cute! Stupid! Stupid!" I gasped. I laid down curling up on the bed. Crying and gasping I sobbed till my eyes burned.

When I woke up I was still laying atop my covers on my bed. My hair was a mess and my clothes were crumpled. Dawn light filtered in and I crawled off my bed to sit at my vanity. Black was smudged along my face and my eyes were swollen and puffy. I sighed and went over to the pitcher of water by my bed and wet a cloth. I went back to the table and began to wipe my face clean. I brushed out my hair and redid my make up. My eyes were still puffy as I lined them with black. I made the lines thicker to hide the puffiness. I smoothed out my skirt but changed my corset to a dark red one with sleeves that only covered the tops of my arms.

"Well I better get on with the day." I sighed softly leaving my tent. It was still early so I went and ate breakfast and then went over to the animal tent.

"Good morning Beast." I said as I walked in. She looked up and smiled but frowned.

"Ok Alari what's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing." I said flatly taking the dish of meat to Betty. I picked up the leash and tied the animal to the out side of her cage to eat so I could clean the inside.

"Alari let on of the second strings do that." Beast said.

"It's ok. I want to."

"Ok stop. What's wrong Alari. I know something's bothering you." She said sternly. I sighed and got out of the cage and walked over to her.

"Beast I'm falling for him and I can't."

"Snake?" She asked and I nodded.

"I can't let myself be close to him. I can't let anyone be close to me. I don't want to hurt anyone." I said sadly.

"How would you be hurting him?"

"The scientists that did this to me are still looking for me and won't stop till they do. They've killed everyone who's sheltered me that's why I'm here."

"Because we're always moving..." Beast said. I nodded.

"Last night I talked to Snake and I chased a mouse he said it was cute I freaked out he told me he'd done worse I left and went and cried for the rest of the night."

"Alari you should take a deep breath and let go for a while. Fall in love, worry about today and not the past. Fight for the future. Not run from it. Snake likes you for who you are. I can see it." She said putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes" she said.

"Hey Beast do you know why Snake finishes his sentences off with says and a snake name?" I asked remembering how last night we had a full conversation with out him finishing his sentence like that.

"Um I believe it's because he's insecure with speaking on his own. I think" I blinked gaping.

"What?" She asked.

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