(Tay Bridge Disaster by W. McGonagall, I don't think it is terrible)
Thank you for being so patient with me! This is over 6K words...much more then I expected...I actually never expected this to get this long. I hope you have plenty of laughs XD Btw, from now on, I will be adding summaries.
Summary: The Spriggan 12 are celebrating New Year's Eve. Wahl has brought a game from Ishgar known as Master's Game. What shenanigans will the Zeref and the Spriggan go through this time? Just to add to the craziness...Zeref got drunk...Uh oh.
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" 3!"
" 2!"
" 1!"
" HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
The fireworks lit up the black night sky in a multicolored explosive show. Reds, blues, greens, and yellows blanketing the sky in a coordinated manner. Each firework was a flower desperately wanting its moment to show-off. The crowds surrounding the palace all jeered and awed at the spectacular sight of the Alvarezian light show. There are whispers that the Emperor himself plans them but it was never confirmed.
"YAY! IT IS FINALLY x793!" cheered Bloodman. She swung her glass mug around, a huge grin plastered on her face. For the special occasion, she switched from her usual outfit into a green short-cuffed suede dress and thigh high brown boots.
Neinhart growled from his spot on the bench next to the spirited Spriggan. "Stop throwing your mug about Sukin Nottori…you will get your beer all over me."
Bloodman scowled, "You know I hate being called that Bat-Man!"
Neinhart calmly sipped his wine, "That's what they call you; Sukin Nottori Bloodman."
"What the hell does that mean!?" A loud voice interrupted.
Neinhart's eyelids lowered and Bloodman let out a sigh, an angry vein throbbing on her forehead.
"Hasn't any one told you to not interrupt people Ajeel?!"
Ajeel smirked, "I don't have enough respect for you to not interrupt you Sukin Nottori."
Bloodman's crystal mug shattered, "Call me that again Dust Bunny…and you will become my new take-over." She hissed.
"Get a room you two…" Neinhart monotonously commented still sipping his drink.
Ajeel leaned closer, his nose inches from Bloodman's. "Just wanna know what your nickname means." The smirk he had plastered on his face deepened into his infamous cocky smile. "Wait, I think I can guess…I bet it means selfish whore-"
"THAT'S IT!" Bloodman snatched Neinhart's glass of wine out of his hand and smashed it into Ajeel's face.
"GAHHHHHHHH!" Ajeel was thrown back as the glass shattered in his face, the wine going up his nose, dripping into his mouth and burning his eyes. The glass nicked his bronze skin, causing small beads of blood to form on his face.
"WHAT THE HELL!" he shouted in surprise and anger.
"YOU DESERVED IT YOU BASTERD!" Bloodman yelled back at him, "AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION, SUKIN NOTTORI MEANS SKIN HIJACKER YOU UNEDUCATED SON OF A-"
Before she could finish her sentence, a large shadow fell on the couple. Ajeel looked up with blood-shot eyes and paled. Bloodman upon spotting his horrified expression also turned around, her jaw dropped. Neinhart somehow lifted the entire 70 foot long table and was holding it over his head with his bare hands. Several angry veins were popped out on his forehead, his face dark with rage.
"Sugar Honey Iced Tea…" Bloodman and Ajeel muttered before Neinhart threw the table at them.
CRASH
The table slammed into the Spriggans crushing them into the tile floor.
"Again?" August, the oldest of the Spriggans, shook his head disapprovingly, "His majesty just repaired the palace walls from your tantrum last week. The expenses are stacking up. Soon we won't be able to afford anymore property damage and his Majesty might have to banish you from the palace."
Neinhart glared at the Magic King then stomped away to probably his room.
August approached the table, "Bloodman, Ajeel, are you alright?"
No answer.
Suddenly, August heard loud weeping.
"My mangoes…" Brandish grieved, "My precious star-mangoes which I was saving up to try on New Years…all destroyed…"
"Wow Randi…that's all you are concerned?!" Dimaria asked, "What about Bloodman and Ajeel?"
Brandish sniffed, "I don't like people, Marie."
At that Dimaria smiled, "I guess we have a lot more in common then you think."
The table shifted, August turned back to find Ajeel and Bloodman heaving it up.
"This table…" Ajeel muttered under his breath.
"Is heavy…" Bloodman finished.
"Look Randi, they survived Neinhart's tantrum." Dimaria laughed.
Brandish lowered her head, her short apple green hair covering her eyes, "I don't care about them Marie…my mangoes got crushed. I am going back to my room. I have nothing to celebrate but despair."
Bloodman stepped forward to gain a better hold but she stepped on a piece of mango, sending her foot flying from beneath her.
"KYA!" The table along with Bloodman collapsed on one side.
Ajeel was completely unprepared to Bloodman's collapse and he fell too, landing on top of her, the table falling on them both in a loud boom.
Dimaria collapsed on the floor laughing. She held on to her stomach and rolled around on the ground. "THAT!" she wheezed, "IS KARMA RIGHT THERE!" Her laughs came out in short fits of giggles and snorts. Brandish rolled her eyes and August sighed.
"Youngsters these days." With a flick of his finger, August shrunk the table to relieve Bloodman and Ajeel from the excess weight. The table flew off along with Ajeel.
"PERVERT!" Bloodman shouted whilst holding up her leg from kicking him.
The table slammed against a pillar, snapping in half. Ajeel himself slammed into the quartz wall and collapsed in a heap onto the ground.
"HYA HYA HYA HYA!" A familiar hyena-like laughter echoed throughout the large room, "HYA HYA AJEEL GOT HIS ASS KICKED AGAIN HYA HYA HYA!"
Everyone turned around to find a man with wild black hair, a hell of an amount of mascara and eye liner, and razor sharp teeth laughing like a mad man at them.
"Want to join Ajeel, Wahl?!" Bloodman hissed at him, her eyes twinkled with malicious intent.
At that remark, Ajeel stood up. "Damn you Bloodman." He hissed.
Bloodman looked over her shoulder, her eye lids half closed, her lips curled as she gave him a teasing smile.
"Finally up…Dust Bunny." Her voice lowered an octave.
Ajeel felt his cheeks heat up slightly, he gulped, trying to swallow his rapidly increasing pulse.
"Hey, lovebirds, there is empty closet down the hall." Dimaria smirked as their cheeks burned and Bloodman tried to stutter a retort.
Suddenly, the dark oak door to the room swung open…
"DID YOU MISS ME!" Serena announced, taking a pose, a spot light appeared over him and glitter fluttered everywhere. Everyone in the room sweat-dropped.
"Ewwwww" Brandish said.
Serena did another pose, "I take that as a compliment."
"How can anyone be this annoying… Bloodman clenched her fists, "I am so tempted to take his body so he would just shut up."
Ajeel snickered, "I never knew you were so desperate Bloodman."
"Shut up Dust Bunny." She hissed back at him.
Wahl approached the two bickering Spriggans, "I don't understand you two…" he said, "If you two humans like eachother, then just admit it."
"WE. DON'T. LIKE. EACH OTHER!" Bloodman and Ajeel shouted at Wahl.
Wahl smirked, "Sure you don't, but that doesn't matter. LET'S PLAY A GAME!" He announced, holding up a mug filled with popsicle sticks.
"YESSSS A GAME! CAN WE INCLUDE GLITTER!" Serena howled.
"NOOOOOO!" All the Spriggans shouted in horror.
Serena collapsed to his knees. "Why…WHY MUST THE WORLD REJECT ME!" A spot light once again hit Serena as he threw his arms into the air. "YOU MIGHT AS WELL AS KILL ME! I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT GLITTER! WAHL PLEASE DO THE HONORS AND CUT MY HEAD OF MY SHOULDERS!" he bowed to the Machine.
"You got to be kidding…" Dimaria sweat-dropped.
"Aye…" Everyone mirrored.
"Well, are we gonna start the game or not!" Wahl shouted, shaking the mug of popsicles.
"What happened here!"
Everyone swiftly turned around to find a very displeased Emperor Zeref and Invel.
"Oh crap…" Ajeel mumbled.
The once clean and groomed room was utterly destroyed. Mushed up food littered the once sparkling wood floor, the expensive Eastern carpets covered in stains that will never wash out, the walls were scratched and there was even a hole in the wall from Ajeel's impact. The table that was made from a rare black cherry wood was broken beyond repair. Splinters stuck out of the painting that lined the pink quartz walls.
Bloodman immediately jumped to her feet . "IT WAS NEINHART! HE THREW THE TABLE AT US!"
"Again…" Invel shook his head, "That's no excuse, LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO HIS MAJESTY'S PAINTINGS AND CARPETS!"
Bloodman lowered herself slowly to the floor. "Sorry!" she squeaked.
Zeref inspected the room, his eyes darkening as rage slowly built up in his chest. He ground his teeth, trying to prevent an outburst.
August got to his knees and bowed, to be slowly imitated by everyone else. Icy silence weighted down on the guilty Spriggans.
Zeref lifted his head, his usual soft black eyes hardening, "You have exactly three seconds to come up with a single reason I shouldn't banish you from this country!" He boomed.
Everyone visibly flinched at the Emperor's uproar.
"Um…" Dimaria stuttered.
"WE DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO PLAY THE GUILD MASTER GAME!" Wahl shouted.
"Excuse me?!"
"The Guild Master game!" The machine held out the mug of sticks, "We wanted to play with you…please!" He begged.
Zeref was left speechless.
Invel frowned at Wahl, "His majesty doesn't have time for games since he has to constantly deal with you lot!"
"Please! Pretty please with a cherry on top!" Bloodman looked up from her position on the floor.
"If you play, we will clean up this entire room with no magic or help from servants!" Dimaria said, her eyes sparkling with hope.
"MARIE!" Brandish cried out, glaring at the female knight.
"What?! I am trying to save our asses here!" hissed Dimaria into Brandish's ear.
A grin formed on Zeref's face, "Very well, Invel and I will play said game, and you will cleanup this room."
Invel furrowed an eyebrow, "You majesty? I don't think this is a wise idea…"
Zeref glanced at Invel, "A deal is a deal, plus they will pay for the damages out of their own pocket."
"EHHH!" the Spriggans cried out.
"Now how do we play this game?" Zeref ignored their protests.
The Spriggans plus Zeref sat in a circle in the center of the room (away from the puréed food)
"It's simple," exclaimed Wahl, "We pick a stick, the one with the crown emblem is the master, he commands a number or more from one to eight to do something, like number three has to punch number eight. The master's wish is absolute."
"Sounds simple enough." Zeref tapped his chin.
"I still firmly believe this is a terrible idea!" Invel muttered, his arms crossed as he inspected every one of his comrades.
Wahl placed the mug in the middle, "PICK ONE!"
All nine of them grabbed one.
"Who's the master? Zeref asked.
"HYA HYA HYA HYA!" Wahl collapsed on his back from laughing, his eyes wide and mouth wide open, "I AM HYA HYA HYA!"
"Stop laughing like a hyena rusty bolts…" muttered Bloodman, displeased by the outcome.
"I COMMAND…" Wahl smirked as he looked about the room, "NUMBER SIX MUST SIT ON NUMBER NINE'S LAP WHILE NUDE FOR THE REST OF THE GAME!"
"EHHHHHHHH!" Everyone exclaimed in horror.
Dimaria muttered curses under her breath as she reached behind her back to unclasp her bra. Brandish shifted uncomfortably.
"AHHHHH!" Zeref covered his eyes, trembling.
Invel leapt to his feet, "I KNEW IT! THIS GAME WAS RIGGED FROM THE START! I'M LEAVING!"
As soon as Invel turned to go, a wall of pink marking surrounded the group.
"RUNES!" Invel cried out.
No one can leave until the game ends, and no one can undo these runes unless I give permission to do so.
"August!?" Zeref glared at the Magic King who raised his arms in defense,
"I didn't do it your majesty. To be frank, I would like to leave as well."
"OH NO!" Serena cried out, "WE WILL BE STUCK IN HERE FOREVER AND DIE FROM STARVATION AND UNCLEANNESS!"
"Shut up Serena." Dimaria said as she sat without any clothes on Brandish's lap, a light blush covering both girls' cheeks.
Unbeknownst to everyone, someone was watching them with a smug grin and a camera lacrima. Everything was going by plan.
"I can never unsee this…" Zeref turned away, face bright red.
"Has he ever seen a person of the opposite gender naked?" Bloodman whispered to Ajeel.
"Don't think so."
Somewhere in Ishgar…
Mavis sneezed, "Why do I feel the need to kill the blonde knight from the twelve Spriggans?"
Back in Alvarez
"HYA HYA HYA!" Wahl was rolling on the ground laughing, everyone just did another round and he again became the master.
"THAT'S IT!" Ajeel lunged at Wahl, "I KNOW YOU CHEATED BASTERD!"
"Boys…stop fighting, that's not going to finish the game faster." August began. Wahl grabbed Ajeel by his neck tie and threw him into August.
"HYA HYA, YOU CAN'T BEAT THE ADJUCATOR AJEEL!" Wahl laughed.
Suddenly, the runes reappeared again with added text,
No one can use their abilities to cheat in this game. Do a redraw.
Wahl's grin faded, "Aw man…just when things started to get good…"
Everyone placed the popsicle sticks back into the mug and redrew.
"YAY!" Bloodman jumped, a cheerful smile plastered on her face, "I am the master!"
"I foresee a dark future." Dimaria muttered under her breath, still sitting on Brandish's lap without clothes.
Bloodman stuck her tongue out at the two, "Shut up, I have the perfect command." Her eyes glinted with a mischievous intent.
"I….order number ten to drink four mugs of beer at once!"
Silence
"Who's number ten?" she asked, confused of no one's response.
Zeref, who was sitting slightly diagonally to avoid looking at the nude Spriggan, raised his hand. "It is I."
"WHAT!" Invel cried out, "BUT YOUR MAJESTY, YOU CAN'T DRINK ALCOHOL! YOU NEVER HAD A DROP IN YOUR LIFE! WHO KNOWS WHAT HAPPENS!"
Zeref sighed, "It's an order, I have to obey the rules if we are to be free. If I have to drink alcohol, so be it."
"BUT-"
Zeref raised his hand, silencing Invel, "If I start acting dangerously, knock me out. That's an order." he commanded.
"Um…guys…" Dimaria asked, "But, how are we going to get the beer?"
As she said this, a glass pitcher and a crystal mug materialized next to Zeref. He took in a deep breath and poured the contents into the mug. A concoction the color of honey flowed into the mug, Zeref's eyes widened when a huge mass of white bubbles overflowed the cup covering his hand in its cool stickiness.
Zeref raised the glass to his nose, sniffing the drink he was about to consume. His lip curled slightly in disgust.
"It smells like cleaner."
"It's alcohol, what did you expect?" Bloodman said sarcastically.
Zeref unsurely brought the cup to his lips, cringing as he tipped it and the beer flooded his mouth. His eyes bugged out and he promptly spit it out, spraying Serena.
"BLAH!" He stuck his tongue out, "This is disgusting, how do you drink this stuff!"
"We man up and ignore the bitterness." Ajeel replied only to earn a glare from Invel.
"You belittle his majesty one more time and I will freeze your butt to the floor."
Ajeel stuck his tongue at Invel.
"You have to do it Bipolar Mortulo. Jug it up."
Zeref visibly flinched and again raised the mug to his lips.
"JUST DRINK THE DAMN THING ALREADY!" shouted Brandish.
Zeref gurgled the entire thing down, his face turning green. After a minute, he lowered the glass and coughed violently.
"This *cough* is pure *cough* torture." the Emperor wheezed.
"Three more cups to go." Serena poured Zeref another glass only for it to freeze over.
"NO!" Invel grabbed the pitcher, freezing the contents, "I am not having his majesty drink anymore of this! That's final!"
Serena, Wahl, and Ajeel pouted. August lightly hit his chest, clearing his throat.
"Next round then?"
Everyone replaced the popsicle sticks and Bloodman shifted them around, mixing the light birch sticks well.
"ROUND THREE!" She called out and everyone grabbed a stick one by one.
"WAHHHHHHHHHHH!"a cry broke out, startling the Spriggans.
They all turned around to find…
"I KNOW I AM NOT A LUCKY PERSON BUT WHY DOES THE WORLD KEEP REMINDING ME THAT!" Emperor Zeref's face was covered in red splotches, tears ran down his cheeks like fountains.
"EHHHHHHHHHHH!?" cried the Spriggans in confusion.
"I've got…" Zeref sniffled, "The number 13…" he showed his popsicle which displayed the number seven…not even close to thirteen.
"Um…you Majesty?" Invel began, sweat developing on his forehead, "I think you have mistaken…"
At that, Zeref burst into more tears, "WAHHHHHHHHHH!"
"BLOODMAN!" Invel grabbed hold of Zeref allowing him to cry into his coat, "LOOK WHAT YOU DONE TO HIS MAJESTY!"
Zeref sniffled and looked up, his face all wet and splotchy, "Please Invel, don't shout anymore. It is too scary." he begged.
Invel stopped, his jaw hanging open from shock.
"HAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHA!" Ajeel collapsed on the ground laughing he clutched his stomach as he wheezed and rolled, "EVEN THE EMPEROR THINKS YOU ARE STIFF, INVEL!"
A dark aura surrounded Zeref as he promptly lunged at Ajeel, ramming his fist into the Desert King's face, sending him flying into the runes.
"WHAT THE!" everyone's jaw dropped.
Zeref pouted at Ajeel, ignoring everyone's outcry, "That's what you get for being dishonorable, didn't your parents ever teach you to be kind to your comrades!"
"Oh my god, Ajeel is finally getting the lecture he needed!" Bloodman smirked, "I don't know about you all but I like drunk Zeref."
Zeref turned around and glared at Bloodman, her grin faded, "And you need to be more respectful! Stop calling people ridicules nick-names, that hurts self-esteem."
"I take that back." She grumbled as the Dimaria, Ajeel, and Wahl snickered at her.
"Can we just continue please!" Brandish exclaimed, "I want this game over with already."
I am so sorry but my internet refused to let me publish the full 6K work at once...so it is two parts...T.T