AN: Thank you all for your reviews! This chapter is longer than the last two installments. I feel as this chapter starts to build on what will eventually be a strong connection between Yzak and Flay. Also, on Sai - a lot of people were angry with Flay's betrayal of Sai in the show. While I do agree that she handled their break up poorly, I also feel like people forget that she was arranged to marry him. Flay is fifteen at the beginning of the series so I can assume that their engagement was made for at the age of thirteen to fourteen years old. That's hardly an age that someone should be making an adult life decision such as marriage. So, a lot of Flay's inner monologue mentions those dynamics.
Behind Enemy Lines
Unspoken Connection
The past two days have gone smoother than Flay had ever imagined they would. She had initially expected harassment from the crew, but for the most part, they leave her be. Most of her interactions are with Yzak and Doctor Frazier. Flay likes it this way. She'd rather just be left alone than having to cultivate new friendships with ZAFT soldiers. Papa has always said that Coordinators will always feel superior to Naturals and not to trust them. Men like Yzak and even someone seemly as kind as Doctor Frazier will always see her as lesser than them. She must remember that as kind as they might be, the men and women on this ship still look down upon her.
Flay fastens her green uniform jacket and smooths it out. She hears the door swish open to see Yzak with a coffee thermos in hand. He offers her the coffee thermos and she takes it with a small "thank you". Flay follows him outside of her room and floats through the hall in silence. There's a part of her that almost wants to strike up a conversation with him. But, he is a Coordinator. ZAFT took her home from her. She cannot simply forget where she stands.
Flay stops at the medical bay. Yzak looks to her for a moment. There's this unspoken connection that she can't quite understand. She wants to say something, but she's not sure what she what to say.
"I guess I'll see you after my shift…" she says.
"Sure," his voice almost sounds indifferent.
Flay turns away from him, clutching her thermos tightly. She feels slighted by his indifference. She's always been so desired by the men she's around from her fiancé, Sai to that boy Kira Yamato. It really shouldn't bother her that Yzak seems disinterested, but it does.
Flay keys in the code to open the door and steps inside the medbay. The door closes behind her, and her shoulders loosen. Most of the other crewman intimidate her, but Doctor Frazier is so kind. She can't really see him trying to hurt her even if he is a Coordinator. Her father had told her not to trust Coordinators, but she supposes to some extent she can trust him.
"There's a bag of dirty sheets and blankets I need you to take to the laundry room," Doctor Frazier says. "It should be in the closet."
Flay floats towards the closet. She opens the door takes the bag in hand. On Heliopolis, Flay imagines that the bag would be heavy, but the zero gravity makes it so easy to pull outside of the medbay. Flay floats to the end of the hall. She stops at the last door and presses a button to open the the door. Flay floats over to the washer. She opens the bag to pull out the balled up sheets and blankets. She places them inside the washer and closes the door promptly. Flay selects bleach on the touch screen before starting to washer.
Flay releases a deep breath into the room and allows herself to float aimlessly for a moment. She thinks about Sai, Miriallia, Tolle, and Kira. Flay wonders if they managed to make it out of Heliopolis alive. It's hard for her to believe that there's a possibility that she'll never see her friends again. Will she even see Orb again? The uncertainty of her fate is starting to settle. Her father had her life laid out for her. She'd graduate school, marry Sai, and start a family. Flay had never dared to question her father's life plan. She simply just did as she was told.
Flay floats backwards until she hits the wall. Now that her future is so uncertain, she has doubts if the life planned for her is truly what she wanted for herself. Had she even really loved Sai? She'd liked him well enough, but he didn't exactly invoke any passed mild contentment. There were moments of doubt in their courtship where she would just want to be left alone. Sometimes she caught herself looking to other boys in class, and she would have to mentally chastised herself. If she had truly loved Sai, would she even have such doubts about their relationship?
Flay shakes her head as she tries to fight her thoughts. No. She wraps her arms around herself as a feeling of numbness courses through her. Her mind is trying to normalize what is happening to her by detaching herself from her loved ones. She has to remember who she is. She's a Natural from a neutral territory. She never wanted to be a part of this war to begin with.
Sirens blare through the PA system as a voice commands, "All hands level one battlestations!"
Flay releases her arms to her sides as she floats towards the door. She exits the room and floats through the halls. ZAFT personnel are rushing through the hallways. Flay sifts the the soldiers until she reaches the medbay. She opens the door and floats towards Doctor Frazier. Tears are in her eyes as she places her hands on his shoulders.
"What's going on?" she asks.
"We've engaged an Earth Alliance ship," Doctor Frazier says.
The ship shakes, knocking Flay to the other side of the room. She can feel tears sting her eyelids as fear consumes her. The Heliopolis attack flashes through her mind, and it's as if she's relieving it all over again. There's this fear that she might die before seeing her friends and her father. She imagines being engulfed by fire as the ship breaks into pieces. Flay shouldn't hope that Yzak and his three comrades will prevail, but she doesn't want to die on this ship. Her fingers clutch a bar attached to the bed as the ship rattles once more. She shuts her eyes, waiting for the ship to become steady once more.
"It will be over soon," Doctor Frazier reassures.
Flay's hands tighten around the bar. Doctor Frazier is so calm despite the possibility of death. It's relaxing in a way to see someone so confident in their survival. Flay sits on the bed with her hand still clutching tightly to the bar.
For a long stretch of time, Flay sits in silence. The ship seems to have steadied. Maybe ZAFT had really shot down that Earth Alliance vessel. Flay feels terrible that part of her is thankful in ZAFT's potential victiory. She should be a diehard Earth Alliance loyalist like her father. She should hope to go down in this ship rather than have ZAFT obtain victory.
The door to the room swishes open. Athrun and Dearka are carrying Yzak inside the room. His face is covered in blood. He's wearing his uniform red pants along with a white t-shirt that has been stained with blood. A gasp escapes Flay as she looks at the blood matting into Yzak's silver hair. She rises from her seat and floats towards Yzak.
Her hands wrap around him as she guides him toward the bed. His hand is clutching against his wound as he hisses inwardly. Doctor Frazier is by her side. He leans over Yzak and takes Yzak's hand away from his wound.
"Flay, bring me some gauze and disinfectant," he orders then looks to Athrun and Dearka. "I'm going to need some space."
"Yes sir," Athrun says before he leaves the room with Dearka following behind him.
Flay goes to the cabinet without question. She takes the disinfectant and a bag of cotton balls in her hands. She walks back over to Doctor Frazier and hands him the gauze.
"I will also need an IV Fluid Bag and catheter," he orders.
Flay goes to the second cabinet and retrieves the requested items. She hands them to Doctor Frazier. He attaches the IV Bag at the top of the bed. He attaches the a tube to the catheter and fluid bag before piecing Yzak's vein. He tapes the IV to Yzak's arms, and then begins to disinfect the gaping wound on Yzak's face.
Flay watches as he cleans Yzak's cut. Doctor Frazier threads a needle and begins to stitch the wound. It's seems so sad to see someone who once stood with such pride look so wounded. She tries to fight away that fleck of empathy, but she can't. Even if he is a Coordinator, he still bleeds red and feels pain just as she does.
Doctor Frazier is finishing bandaging the wound. He stands and looks to Flay. "Wait here. I must report this to Commander Le Creuset. If he wakes up, give him two tablets of OxyContin."
Flay gives a small nod as Doctor Frazier leaves the room. Flay sits at the desk. She leans back into the chair and releases a deep sigh. She's never seen so much blood in her life. Flay glances to Yzak shifts to lay on his side. Flay leans forward in her chair. Her hands clutch around the pill bottle. She presses the button on the top to dispense two pills. She retrieves a water bottle from the desk and sits on the bed next to Yzak.
"Are you um…." she pauses, "How are you feeling?"
"How does it look like I'm feeling?" he snaps.
Flay ignores his words and hands him the two pills. "Doctor Frazier told me to give you these if you woke up."
Yzak looks to the pills before popping them in his mouth. She gives him the water bottle and he takes a long sip before letting it float next to them. Flay's hands are on her knees as she looks down at the floor.
"Well...I hope that you get better soon," she says.
"Yeah uh...thanks," he says.
It's probably the most gratitude she's going to get from him. Flay sits at the end of the bed. She is about to rise from the bed, but she feels his hand wrap around her wrist.
"I don't get you," he says. "Your father is part of Blue Cosmos. Yet, you're different or so you seem."
"I don't think my dad is part of Blue Cosmos, Yzak," Flay says. "There must be some mistake…"
Yzak scoffs. "Please...even if he's kept that detail from you, you must know that he doesn't like Coordinators. You might be spoiled, but you don't seem dumb."
Flay wants to argue, but how can she? Her father has spoken ill of Coordinators. He's warned her not to get to close to them, and he's even threatened to disown her if she brought one home. Flay had never really questioned anything he said, and even went along with it to some extent.
"No, I guess he doesn't like Coordinators much," her voice is uneasy when she speaks.
There's a protective part of her that wants to defend him, but how can she on a ZAFT Warship? It would put a target on her back. That aside, she'd rather spend her days in the medbay than stare at the wall in a holding cell. She breathes and reminds herself to keep herself together. Surely, she won't be on this ship forever.
She looks to Yzak's bandaged face. What kind of Natural pilot could deliver such a blow to a Coordinator? Her father had said that Coordinators were enhanced to be stronger than Naturals.
"A Natural did this to you?" she asks.
"No, not a Natural," Yzak says. "Some Coordinator turncoat from Heliopolis. Athrun used to know him."
"I knew a Coordinator. Well, I didn't know him. I would just seem him from time to time. He was friends with a uh…" Flay thinks to Sai for a moment. "He would hang out with a friend of mine sometimes."
Flay's heart sinks. She had deliberately left out her engagement, and she even neglected to disclose that she had dated Sai. It doesn't matter anymore. She can't keep stay attached to the dead. Flay wants to hope, but how can she? Even if he is alive, who is to say she'll even see him again. Then, there is Kira. She hardly knew him, but she imagines he's among the dead as well.
Flay pulls her hand away. Her hand clutches where he touched her wrist. She shouldn't be empathizing with someone that just destroyed her home and took her friends from her. Tears sting her eyes. She wish she could hate Yzak, but she can't bring herself to do so. She looks back to him.
"I'm sorry about your friends," he says.
Flay looks away from him as her hands clutch her knees. She doesn't know what she should say. "No, it's fine. You just destroyed my home and might have killed my friends in the process. But, it's no big deal." But on the other hand, hadn't the Naturals nuked a Space Colony. Thousands of Coordinators died because of the Bloody Valentine.
"The Earth Federation nuked a Space Colony, because they hate Coordinators. Heliopolis was destroyed, because ZAFT retaliated," Flay's voice is thin as a sheet of ice.. "How many more people have to die before the killing ends?"
Silence passes between them as they look to one another. The door opens and Doctor Frazier walks inside breaking the tension between them.
"Yzak, you're awake…" he says.
"Unfortunately," he says bitterly as his hand clutches the side of his head.
"It's good to see that you are recovering," Doctor Frazier comments. "There will be some scar tissue after your wound heals. Not a big deal. I can recommend you to a cosmetic surgeon once we return to the PLANTs."
Yzak doesn't respond. He just shifts in his bed so that his back is to both of them. She can feel the resentment pouring off of him. Flay glances at him one last time before she stands. She brushes a strand of hair away from her face.
She goes to the door and looks to Doctor Frazier. "I should probably go finish the laundry from earlier."