Chapter 3

Sleepless Nights

Or wonder where you sleep at night

Or whose arms you wake in

Bruce

The doctor made it home safely, the place that he called home was a small flat above a run-down restaurant and his living area was enough for him to settle down for a while.

Being out there for so long, all's he could do was think about how things that could have been and re-think scenes over and over in his head about his inner demon and Natasha.

It took a while but Bruce finally settled down after the events of today. He hoped it was just like any other day where he would go out early in the morning, work all day and come home exhausted. But these distractions and unusual thoughts had put him off course.

With the intense sweating and sticky sheets entangled around his body from the heat wave, Bruce found it once again difficult trying to drift off to sleep. He tossed and turned forcing the images of a certain redhead out of his mind. It was driving him mad! Was it because he felt that guilty for running away to protect himself or the fact that he was so completely head over heels for this woman.

He always pictured her surrounded by all the males on the team, she was breathtakingly talented and beautiful. What else could you want from her. He couldn't help but think this way about her when she was practically known for flirting with every male she saw.

-Flashback-

Bruce was quietly reading over Tony's physics notes in the living room of the Avengers Tower about the project they were currently working on in the lab. The Tower was very quiet for 9 at night but he just figured that everyone was out doing their own thing, instead of as a group. Bruce liked having his own space within the tower, he could get on with his work without any interruptions.

A loud laughter came from the hall way, Natasha and Clint came in the room joking and laughing disturbing the peace and Bruce's concentration.

"Hi Bruce!", Natasha greeted him warmly.

Bruce smiled back at the woman gladly.

"Hey man, what are you working on?" Clint asked.

Bruce was surprised he asked and kept his answer short. "Just some of Tony's notes for a project we're working on."

He could tell that the agents didn't really care as they began to fight over the remote. Ignoring everything the doctor was saying. At least Natasha was less ignorant than her best friend. The couple started to play fight on the couch and Natasha pressed Clint's head down on the cushions with his hands behind his back.

" I'm guessing it's like a big nerdy science thing?", Natasha said casually to Bruce, with Clint struggling to break free from underneath her.

Bruce laughed at her statement and agreed. "Yes, it's a big nerdy science thing".

He always admired Natasha for her curiosity and wisdom. On past occasions he'd find Natasha wondering around the lab, noising on what Bruce was up to and sometimes helping him out with measurements of liquids and other things.

Bruce started to pack up his things, "I'll just leave you two too it.".

"Please don't leave because we're here.", Natasha mentioned before he left.

Clint eventually was free from Natasha grasp, "Yeah, this will be over in just a sec."

With that comment Clint flipped Natasha over and he was the one now towering over her whilst she squirmed underneath him.

Bruce smiled at the two friends and exited the room in silence. He knew where he wasn't wanted, he kind of got that feeling his whole life.

Seeing Natasha and Clint 'flirt' made himself feel a twang of jealously inside him, but he just couldn't quite put a finger on it. Maybe he always hoped that deep down they could be that close in the future.

Bruce knew he always read into things way to quickly and deeply, which usually made things worse for him in the long run. With every word and gesture Natasha made around him he'd always analyse it in his head later on that day, thinking over and over of how differently he could have acted or how to make things better.

-End of Flashback-

Bruce lay in bed, with his eyes open listening to the silence around him. His eyes shut tightly causing tears to roll down his cheeks. A couple of sobs sounded out within the darkness around him. This demon inside was uncontrollable and he just wanted to kept her safe and happy, but either way he knew he couldn't do that.

He knew about her past and what she had been through in life, but that didn't stop him from loving her. She deserved to be happy, but not with him.

Natasha

Natasha as well found it harder than usual to fall asleep that night. She had difficulty anyways trying to settle and calm her adrenaline down after a long day on a mission. The only thing that was on her mind was Bruce. He has started to appear in her thoughts more frequently and randomly at this moment in time and she didn't like it. She often wondered if he had actually moved on and found someone else who wasn't such of a monster like herself. Someone like his former lover…

-Flashback-

Natasha was working on something important on her laptop but before she finished her work, one of the letter keys on her keyboard got stuck, And the email she was currently writing was signed by 'Natashaaaaaaaaaaaa…'

Everyone was out for the day except from Bruce, and he was either in the lab or coped up in his room. She stopped by the lab first as that would be the most likely place he'd be; however, the agent was wrong. He was in fact in his room.

Natasha went to pay a visit to her teammate. She carried her open laptop into his room, still focusing on the screen.

"Hey Bruce. Can you help me with this?", Natasha was oblivious to her surroundings as she walked around the doctors private room.

She set the laptop down on his desk and sat in his chair. A few minutes had passed and Nat noticed that he hadn't yet replied.

"Bruce?" Natasha's attention was now on Bruce's empty room. Wondering where the hell he is.

The redhead took this as an opportunity to find out a little bit more information about the doctor, than what she's just read on his files now and again. She would freely go and root through the others stuff without a care in the world but it was different with Bruce.

It was safe to say that they have grown as friends and she had a lot more respect towards him than anyone else in the tower.

All's she did was wonder around the room, keeping her hands to herself. She was hit with instant jealously once she stumbled upon a picture frame with two figures shown behind the glass. Natasha picked the object up to get a better view of the image.

It was Bruce and Betty holding each other laughing about something. He looked so happy, so instant and free. Maybe he only kept the picture has a reminder that in his life, he was actually free and happy once upon a time.

Why was Natasha feeling so much hate for this dark haired woman that she had never met before? She couldn't have feelings for Bruce, there was no chance in hell that would happen.

Her focus was interrupted as the frame was removed from her hands and placed in a draw. Bruce appeared out of nowhere, making her feel slightly guilty for snooping.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean too- ", But before Natasha could explain herself the doctor cut her off.

"It's fine", he spoke quietly. "What's up?"

Bruce instantly brushed the awkward situation under the carpet and moved on to the main reason she was present in his room.

"The 'A' key got stuck when I was writing an Email and now it's just saying 'aaaaaa..'", Natasha joked.

Bruce wasn't convinced, that she had done nothing to the computer to make it like this, "What did you spill on it?"

"Nothing.", Natasha tried to seem shocked that he could ever accuse her of such things, but it didn't work on him.

Bruce gave her an unconvinced look until she told him the truth.

Natasha eventually caved in, "Diet coke and maybe a little bit of nail polish"

"I'll take a look at it." Bruce laughed to himself at how irresponsible this woman could be with valuable technology some times.

Natasha could always rely on Bruce to be there for her and help her out with things she struggled with, even quite often she was very reluctant and stubborn to admit them.

-End of Flashback-

Natasha always knew somewhere in her heart that she was never good enough for Bruce and that she would always be playing second best to him, even if they were serious about each other.

The broken woman just lay there staring into the darkness. Without any whimpers or sobs, a single tear rolled down her cheek in silence.

She was often the type of person to suffer in silence and not to make a scene. Natasha hated showing her true emotions around people, she thought it made her feel weak and vulnerable. But Bruce just thought that it made her look more human and that she isn't just this killing machine that she was trained to be.