Edward left at 9 O'clock, I felt a little bad about the fact that even though it was nice to have him around, I was glad he had to leave for a bit. I said good night to Charlie and went to my room.

I began to empty my pockets of some loose change when I felt Jake's letter, slowly I moved over to my bed. My heart sank a little as I lay looking over Jacobs letter again. I kept thinking to myself I definitely needed to see him, make sure he was okay. Even if he said we could still be friends there was an undertone of hurt I needed to get resolved. Things between Jake and I might be different but I needed his warmth right now.

I always would. But how much more pain could I continue to put him through though. I need to stop hurting him but the only way to do that is to cut him out of my life completely.

I don't know why but that thought hurt.

Yeah just the way you hurt your best friend, I sighed.

He had been there, kept me sane when I crumbled. I guess you could say his mere presence built me back up. I just wish he could understand that Edward and I had been something beautiful. That just because he left me I couldn't let him die thinking I was no longer in the world.

I slammed my hands into the mattress in frustration the letter in my hands crumpling, immediately I smooth it against my stomach, closed my eyes and took a deep breath and letting out a long sigh trying to figure out my situation.

I was glad I had Edward back, really I was. But was it worth the price of making Jacob hurt so much.

I mean look at how long it took him to tell me we could still be friends. Thinking of him hurting just made my heart ache all the more, I knew he liked me, I knew he wanted to be more than friends, but Edward was the one I love. Edward the cause of so much hurt and pain to me. And now not having Jake at my side just felt wrong. I needed him to be with me; his smile, his laugh, and his warmth I missed it all. Why does it feel like we broke up when we were never together?

Suddenly I felt tired, both emotionally and physically. But I got up and went to my desk deciding to call him. Looking at the time it was 11:45. Maybe just, maybe I could go an see him really quick, I thought biting down on my lower lip.

I grabbed my sweater and ran down the stairs happily, and heading over to the key rack where Charlie had put my key back.

"Woah, kiddo. I thought you were heading to bed. Where you going this late?" He asked his brows knit together.

"I- um. I wanted to head over to La Push real quick and see if Jake was home?" I realized I asked instead of told him.

A little smile pulled at the corner of his mouth before he cleared his throat pretending he wasn't excited about the news. "Sure kid, just don't be out to late alright. And call if you'll be staying the night."

"Yeah, sure dad." I replied a little confused about his being alright if I Stayed the night at Jake's tonight. I suppose it was better for me to be there than with Edward in his mind.

I sighed shaking my head. It was cold and I hoped my truck would start up.

I turned the key in the ignition and... nothing. Not even a sputter, just a pathetic little click. I tried it again with the same results.

Movement in my peripheral had me jump, I gasp my heart racing before realizing that it was only Edward. He sat still not moving. I could vaguely make out the object he was turning in his hand.

"Alice called me," he murmured.

I groaned. I had totally to account for her visions. Of course she'd see my future disappear and alert Edward.

"She got nervous when your future rather abruptly disappeared five minutes ago."

My eyes already wide, got wider I'm sure.

I listened silently as he explain Alice couldn't see me when I was with them, my future had disappeared.

"Alice couldn't even see you come home. Can you understand why this would make me a little. . . anxious?"

I listened on in stony silence as he went on about Carlisle's theory and finally said.

"I'll put your car back together in time for school, in case you'd like to drive yourself," he assured me after a minute.

With my lips mashed together, I retrieved my keys and stiffly climbed out of the truck.

"Shut your window if you want me to stay away tonight. I'll understand." He whispered just before I slammed the door.

I stomped into the house, slamming the front door behind me as well.

"What's wrong?" Charlie demanded looking up from the couch.

"Truck wont start," I growled.

"Want me to take a look at it?"

"No. I'll try again in the morning."

"Wanna take my car?"

"No. I'm tired," I grumbled. "Night."

I walked up to my room. I couldn't believe he did that to me. How could he?

I was so upset I could feel a lump forming in my throat and began blinking back tears. I looked over at my desk and the phone before making my way towards it.

I hope he's home. I dialed the number and waited. His father picked up saying hello.

"Umm," I say awkwardly. "Is Jake there by any chance?" My voice cracked a little at the end.

There was a brief pause before he answered. "I'm sorry Bella but he isn't, just left a few minutes ago."

"Oh, no that's fine. J-just let him know I called okay."

"Yeah I'll let him know," he replied. "Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight," I said and hung up.

I huffed and put the letter in my drawer, fine I thought. I guess I'll sleep it off. I just hoped to get a hold of him tomorrow.

And if not then they day after. I'm not giving up Jacob Black. A tear ran down my cheek as I walked over to the window and slammed it shut making the glass tremble. Even making a show by moving the latch into place locking it.

Maybe I was being a brat. I could see where he was coming from. Why he'd be so worried about me going, but it was my choice! I looked over at the window. This wasn't fair he was only trying to protect me. No! I needed to put my foot down at some point. He couldn't get away with treating my like this.

I sighed and rolled over looking at the bedroom closet. We can deal with this later. I thought as my eyes closed and sleep consumed.