Chapter Three

My New Roommate

August 20, "Dear diary, Today Voldemort's Snake moved into my room. At first I was shocked, then confused, now I'm just annoyed. So far she hasn't shut up about all of Voldemort's secret plans. She goes on and on about how he's going to kidnap the Minister, or kill Dumbledore, or the fact that he likes to draw pictures of himself killing me. Like anyone would want to know that. She also insists on having the trunk to herself. I've had to move all of my stuff out and try to find new places to stuff it. I have no idea what I'm going to do once it comes time to go to Hogwarts. So far none of the Dursleys know about Nagini. It might be best if it stays that way."

August 20, "Dear diarrhea, today I movd in with Hary. So far he has been takeing this veree wel. I have to stay in his trunk al day, so that his mugle famly wont find me. I have mised bosing Wormtal arond but I have had much mor fun trying to eat his ouwle head-wig. Hary dosn't no and it wood be best if it stayd that way."

"What?! You've been trying to eat my owl?!" asked Harry angrily.

"Hey! You shouldn't read other people's diaries."

"I wouldn't if you didn't write it in mine! Why have you been trying to eat Hedwig?"

"I'm hungry, okay?"

"Well you can go outside as soon as Uncle Vernon is asleep."

"How long is that?"

Harry didn't respond. In the other room Uncle Vernon said, "Good night Aunt Petunia- er- I mean... Petunia."

Almost instantly the house filled with the sound of snoring.

Voldemort massaged his poor red fingers that he had burnt on the hot cookies. He then picked up the green crayon and continued drawing a picture of himself killing Harry.

Snape walked in. "Master, we have captured the Minister of Magic. The ministry will fall within the hour."

"Not now!" shouted Voldemort as he picked the red crayon and drew some blood coming out of Harry's head.

Snape looked down at his picture. "Master, you have been coloring pictures for the last five days straight. You need to get out and kill a few muggles."

"I said not now! I'm very busy!"

"Permission to speak freely master?"

"What is this, the Enterprise? Of course you can speak freely... at your own risk. Ha ha ha"

"Master, you have been totally anti-social ever since your sn-"

"-fingers got burnt? Yes I know. It seems that ever since then, something has been missing from my life."

"Perhaps it's the fact the Wormtail is still stuck in the pantry." suggested Snape.

"Yes, that must be it."

Lucius ran in. "The Minister has escaped! Our plans are ruined!"

"Not now Lucius!" cried Voldemort. "Can't you see that I'm having a discussion? Leave, and get Wormtail out of the pantry on your way down."

"Yes master." said Lucius as he ran out.

Voldemort took the black crayon and drew a mustache on Harry, then he laughed. Half way through his laugh he started crying. "Oh Snape! I can't deny it any longer! I suck at drawing!"

"Oh master..." said Snape. "why don't you do some more practicing while I send Bellatrix up with a plate of cookies."

"Yes, I would like that."