DAZED CHAPTER 3

"Robert was disbarred?!"

Donna doesn't even wait for Harvey to look up when she rushes into his office.

"Louis just told me. Why didn't you say anything last night?" Donna asks, her voice a little irked and a lot panicked.

Pen in hand, Harvey reclines in his chair. He does feel a twinge of guilt for keeping it from Donna, but it's quickly overshadowed by the excitement of seeing her standing in his doorway, tall and gorgeous in a tailored black shift.

A mere two hours ago they were tangled in her bed, skin to skin, touching and caressing and kissing. These images teasing his mind away from the mountain of work waiting for him.

"I didn't because the managing partner wanted to be the one to tell you," he explains, his teeth now grazing the pen top. "And, well… I don't know about you, but I was a little busy last night."

A boyish grin spreads across Harvey's face and up to the creases around his eyes. He can't help but feel giddy. Yesterday, the firm nearly went up in flames and he's never felt more optimistic about the future.

Donna is glaring at him now, and yet all he sees are the hazel eyes that drew him in as they made love. Like a whisper in his ear, her nervous voice arouses the hairs at the back of his neck. And that pout she walked in with. All he can focus on is the taste of her mouth as she welcomed his tongue. Her swollen lips so full and deep and red, that, last night, they brought him to his knees.

But in truth, that's not why Harvey's so worked up today. It's what Donna has done to his heart that's turned him inside out. It's like he's standing next to railway tracks, and his body has been swept up by the full force of a passing train. This love that embraced him last night was a powerful, whirling and all-encompassing energy. It's knocked him back, stolen his breath and shaken him to the core. Harvey is not sure he'll ever recover.

Another truth today. He woke up quietly proud of himself fosr taking this risk. Professionally, he's done some pretty precarious things over the years. But he's never felt so terrified as he did, standing outside her door.

It's taken him a long time to work up the courage to risk it all. So, this morning, when he walked into the office, he felt proud and... relieved. With her, this has never been about playing the odds, the stakes have been too high to ever categorize a relationship with Donna as a win or a loss.

But, he has to admit, last night felt like a personal victory of sorts. Conquering his fears, pushing aside his issues and taking that scary leap into her arms... which is why, today, he feels like a younger and more confident version of himself.

Now, all he has to do is get through the next the eight hours so he can get back to being Donna's boyfriend.

"Harvey, I mean it," Donna insists, her worried voice bringing him back to reality. "This is all my fault."

"Robert getting disbarred was his choice. It had nothing to do with us," Harvey clarifies as he sits up, determined to show her she's been heard. "This was about righting a wrong that happened years ago… it's what he wanted."

"You don't feel guilty that he took the fall for you, for me… for all of us?" she asks, her voice strained.

"I had no idea Robert was going to do what he did, and he refused to let me correct it," Harvey explains. "He said this allows him to retire with a clear conscience…. Am I unhappy about it? Yes I am, but what's done is done. Let the man retire in peace."

Donna drops down into the seat in front of Harvey's desk.

"I'm going to call Robert and Rachel," she says. The magnitude of what's happened weighing heavily on her shoulders.

"Well, he and Laura are leaving today for Seattle. Give them all a few days before you do," Harvey suggests, his hands resting next to his laptop.

With a deep sigh, and her eyes scanning the office, Donna enquires. "How's Samantha? Robert's been more than a mentor to her, he's been a father figure."

"She was trying to come to terms with it last night," he says.

"You spoke to her?" Her gaze full of concern.

"Before I came to see you…" A tiny smile forces its way across Harvey's mouth. He can't help himself.

"What?" Donna asks, with a tilt of her head. This is a serious conversation, but she's distracted by the twinkle in his eyes.

"It's just nice..." he says.

"There you go again with nice… if there's anything nice about this situation, I'd love to hear it," she replies

"All these years, I've wanted to tell you things..." he admits. "Now I can."

"Tell me things? Like what?" she wonders, uncertain where this conversation is going.

"Like… you're gorgeous," he whispers, his brown eyes zeroing in as he leans towards her. "And I love it when you wear black… it's sexy."

Her hands neatly folded in her lap, there's a sudden glow on Donna's cheeks.

"Wait a minute… are you blushing?" Harvey teases with a smirk. His voice low, he adds, "Don't be shy, Donna… we both know what you're capable of."

A smile forces its way across Donna's lips as she gets up to stand. She can't help herself either. "I'm not shy, Harvey, but we're at work."

Donna walks around Harvey's desk, and leans against its edge. The heels of her stilettos dig into the carpet, as her long legs extend inches away from his chair. Harvey is tempted to place his hand on her thigh, but he knows she'd never allow it, not at the office.

"If I were shy, Harvey, I wouldn't be thinking about how, right now, underneath this desk, I could…" Donna leans in to whisper in his ear. Eyes wide, he abruptly raises his eyebrows and jolts his chin back.

"Jesus, Donna…we're at work!" His voice is hushed and his pants suddenly feel snug.

"Might want to loosen your tie, hotshot… maybe your pants, too… now, I've got work to do. I'll see you later," Donna quips, knowing exactly what she's done to him. She casually saunters out the door, fully aware of where Harvey's eyes have landed.

"You're a tease," he says, shaking his head, as a tiny chuckle leaves his lips. But Donna is right. He's definitely feeling warm around the collar… and elsewhere.

It's barely 9 am, and it's already been a good day at work.

xxx

Meet me downstairs in 15.

Heart emoji

His text makes her smile.

It's been a crazy day at the office and, as far as Donna is concerned, it can't be over soon enough. While the name partners spent the morning calling and reassuring clients, she coordinated a proactive media response announcing Robert's "retirement" from the firm.

Reporters have been calling all day, so now she's quite ready to put aside her professional armour, and become that girl headed for a romantic getaway with her really cute boyfriend.

Harvey was kind enough to take her overnight bag with him, so Donna focuses on closing down her office for the weekend. As she shuts off her computer and organizes her Monday files, she hears a tap at her door.

"I don't know about you, but it's been one very long day, and I could use a drink," Samantha says, stepping through the doorway. Donna can tell that Samantha needs a night of girl talk.

"I would love to… but can I take a rain check? I'm heading out of town," Donna says as she flips closed the cover of her laptop.

"Sounds intriguing," she says, curiosity getting the best of her. "Where are you off to?"

"Just needed a break, so I'm heading north for a couple of nights," Donna says, knowing she's led Samantha to believe she's off to Connecticut. Truth is, she has no idea where Harvey is taking her. "Samantha, I'm so sorry, but I have to go."

Samantha nods, "Ok, hope it's relaxing… see you Monday," she says, taking notice that Harvey uttered these exact words to her the night before.

As she rides down the elevator, Donna can't help but feel like a nervous school girl going on her first date. It's silly, because she's the furthest thing from a school girl, and she and Harvey are well beyond getting to know one another.

As the elevator doors open, Donna makes her way across the lobby. It doesn't escape her that this very place has been the scene of quite a few intense moments between them. Fights, lies, denials and all the hurt that goes with that.

She's also left this building on more than one occasion believing she'd never return. The fact that she's now passing through here, and on her way to meet Harvey for a weekend away, is something she hasn't yet fully processed.

Stepping through the revolving doors, Donna can't help but smile at her handsome man leaning on the waiting automobile.

This is no ordinary car, Harvey doesn't do ordinary cars. Harvey selects cars for driving the way women choose outfits for special occasions. This one is a limited edition, silver Porche 911 Turbo. It's classy, fun and sexy. The perfect accessory for a weekend with Donna.

Harvey is still in his light grey work pants and white dress shirt, but in the spirit welcoming the weekend, the suit jacket and black tie are gone.

This casual, unbuttoned look is one of Donna's favourites. It's both manly and boyish, a perfect expression of who Harvey is to her.

"Hello, beautiful," he says, affectionately looking her over. "You ready for a little road trip?"

"You have no idea," Donna replies, the light summer breeze adding curls to her hair. "Where are we going? Is it far? Should I change first?"

Harvey opens the passenger side door and offers his hand to help her in. "So many questions, Donna. You're going to have to trust me on this one, but you can play DJ for the drive. We've got about two hours."

As they snap in their seat belts, Donna leans over to give Harvey a quick kiss on the lips, but he pulls her back, allowing his mouth to linger.

"I've been waiting all day for that kiss," he smiles.

This is a big weekend. A new beginning that couldn't feel more right.

"You're actually letting me pick the music for the drive?" she teases. "Wow, it must be love."

"Yeah, it is," he plays along, as the car pulls away from the curb. "But the music thing, that's just temporary boyfriend insanity, so take advantage while you can."

"I plan to… starting with Celine Dion," she giggles. "That song from Titanic. Have you seen it? I know you're not really into romance movies."

"Oh my God, Donna, you're not serious, are you?" Harvey rolls his eyes. "It had a terrible ending… all Rose had to do was make room for Jack on that piece of wood she was floating on, and it would have solved everything!"

Donna can't help but laugh. "Harvey, I promise right now," she says, raising her hand up as if she were taking an oath. "If we're ever on a cruise ship and it sinks, I wouldn't think twice about sharing my wooden floaty with you."

"Wow, it really is love between us, isn't it?" he says with a sarcastic chuckle, "Now, just play the damn song."

"Ok… and did I hear you say you wanted to hear ABBA next…" she teases.

XXX

It's nearly eight by the time the sports car pulls up to the historic Topping Rose House in Bridgehampton.

The gorgeous colonial estate sits at the end of a winding driveway shaded by rows of enormous chestnut trees. Harvey stops in front and hands the keys to the valet, before helping Donna out of the car.

"Ms. Paulsen, Mr. Specter, welcome to Topping Rose House," the gentleman says. "Your suite is ready and I'll deliver your bags shortly."

"Thank you," Harvey replies.

As the car pulls away, Donna looks at Harvey. "This place is stunning. Does he know you?"

Donna can't help but take in the perfectly landscaped surroundings. The building's facade is a classic colonial white with black shutters. Large columns frame a spacious front porch that's outfitted with colourful rocking chairs. The summer air is filled with the scent of garden roses and the distant sound of chirping birds hint that night is on its way.

"You know my friend, Phil, from law school?" Harvey asks, sliding his fingers in between hers. "He had his wedding here the year after we graduated. His family owns the place."

Donna is surprised that Harvey's been here before, and she wonders if she's not the first girl to make this trip with him. Maybe Scottie's been here, or, she hates to think... Paula.

"Phil and Rebecca's wedding was pretty great. One of the few weddings I've actually enjoyed. I was a groomsman," Harvey explains, as he slowly leads Donna across the porch and through the stately wooden front door. "I knew I'd want to come back here one day… but only with the woman I'm meant to be with." He turns to her with a shy smile.

Harvey's words set Donna's heart fluttering. "So, this is the first time you've been back?"

"First time," he admits, his hand now on the small of her back as he guides her in. Stopping in the foyer, Harvey turns to Donna once again. Fourteen years has given him insight into how her busy mind works.

"And no... I didn't bring anyone to the wedding either. I thought I'd get lucky with a bridesmaid," he admits, rolling his eyes and shaking his head at his 22-year-old self. "But I didn't, because it didn't feel right... not in this place."

Donna tilts her head in surprise. "Wow, Harvey Specter... such a romantic. I would have never guessed," she replies with a grin. "Wedding got to you, huh?"

Harvey looks at her sheepishly. "I'm not that cold-hearted, you know," he retorts in his defence.

"Last fall, when I was in Cambridge for that case, Phil and I met for dinner," Harvey explains. "We talked about the old days and the wedding... all I could think about was wanting to bring you here."

Donna brings herself back to last fall. Harvey's comments completely catch her off guard because he was dating Paula then. If he had felt those things for her, why was he with Paula? Why was he angry when she kissed him? It's a conversation for another time, she decides.

Leaning in to give Harvey a peck on the cheek, Donna is still trying to process his words. "You thought about me? You're just full of surprises, aren't you," she chuckles, her eyes pooling with affection.

"Harvey! Is that you?" a friendly voice calls out.

"Mrs. Porter! Nice to see you. How are you?" Harvey responds, genuinely happy to see the elderly lady.

"Oh, please call me Isabelle," she insists, leaning in with a friendly hug. "We've been expecting you two."

Turning to Donna, Isabelle reaches out her hand.

"You must be the wonderful Donna," she says warmly. "So lovely to meet you. Harvey mentioned it's been quite a week for you both, so for this weekend, your job is to do nothing but relax."

Donna returns the woman's generous smile. "Thank you Isabelle. This place is so peaceful. I feel better already."

"My late husband, David, and I bought Topping Rose twenty-five years ago with a dream of turning it into a boutique hotel for couples," she explains. "A retreat that celebrates love in all its stages. We wanted it to be a place where memories are made. A place that stays with you long after you leave."

"I'm pretty sure you've accomplished that," she replies, turning to Harvey with a knowing look. "Harvey says your son was married here."

"One of our first weddings, actually, and of course, my favourite," Isabelle smiles, as she walks behind the check-in counter. "I'm not sure what you two would like to do while you're here, but whatever it is, we'll make it happen."

"That's so kind," Donna says, although she hasn't given much thought to doing anything more than having Harvey all to herself for two straight days.

"I have you in the Orchard Suite, which we like to call our lucky suite. There have been many happy endings that began with a stay there," she says with a wink, while handing Harvey two keys. "It has a large soaker tub and a balcony overlooking the fruit orchard. I'm sure you'll both be very comfortable."

XXX

"Ok, this is too much!" Donna exclaims, as she steps across the threshold and kicks off her work stilettoes. "Suite? This is an apartment. Look at place. It's stunning!"

The luxurious, third-floor space is adorned in calm whites, blues and grays. Giant windows and a vaulted ceiling brighten the already cheerful rooms. Original art adorns the walls, a small private library features literary classics and a chilled bottle of champagne rests on the glass dining table.

Harvey quickly closes the door. Stepping in behind Donna, he wraps his arms around her waist and rests his head on her shoulder.

"So… you like this place?" he asks, hopeful for her approval. Topping Rose is special to Harvey, but he wasn't sure if it would have the same impact on Donna.

"Like it? Harvey, I love it, " she beams. "And the reason you brought me here means… everything to me. I can't think of a better place for our first weekend together…."

"I can," he says, leading her directly into the bedroom and towards the perfectly dressed, king-size bed.

Donna chuckles as she follows, her fingers intertwined with his. "You don't waste any time, do you?" she replies, pushing him back on the bed.

"Just making up for lost time, that's all," he chuckles, as he pulls her down next to him.

Gazing at Donna, his hand caressing her cheek, Harvey's features turn solemn. Dark brown eyes trace her face as if he's trying to capture every detail.

"You're sure about this, right? This is what you want?" he asks.

It's been a whirlwind 24-hours, and even after the amazing night they've already shared, Harvey's insecurities can't help themselves at times.

"It's what I've always wanted," she clarifies, her gaze soft on him. "No going back."

"Good," he whispers. "Because, this is it… for me."

"Me too, Harvey... I don't want to be with anyone else... So, what would you like to do while we're here," she asks coyly, her fingers teasing the buttons on his shirt. "Or maybe I should ask, what else would you like to do while we're here?"

"I've got plans, unless you have something in mind," he offers, pulling her head in for a soft kiss. "It's all taken care of."

"I just want to spend some real time with you," Donna admits. "I don't want to talk about work, or Robert or Samantha or anyone else. I just want this weekend to be about us, ok?"

"Well then, I better get my girl out of these work clothes," he says playfully. "The work day is over!"

Donna giggles, and without breaking their kiss, Harvey makes every effort to help, his fingers fumbling with the long zipper down her back. Donna tears away at Harvey's clothes and within minutes they're lying skin to skin.

Harvey can't get close enough, and he's determined, for the second night in a row, to familiarize himself with every part of Donna's body. The brown sugar freckles across her shoulders, those cute dimples on her lower back, the gentle curve of her breasts and that soft skin along her inner thigh. His grateful fingers intimately exploring the woman she's now become to him.

Incredible. That's how Donna would describe the taste of Harvey's mouth and the tingling sensation of his lips on hers. With her hands solidly wrapped around his head, fingers rolling through his hair, she could kiss him all night. Their tongues and noses in an intimate dance of their own, Donna holds him in place until he releases a grateful moan into her mouth.

Harvey's movements are eerily familiar and it all becomes clear to her. That night in her office, he may have acted upset after, but he definitely kissed her back…. and he most certainly felt more than "something". Leaning back for a breath, Donna's eyes pool with adoration for this man before her.

Kissing Harvey Specter is one of life's greatest pleasures, she decides.

XXX

"I still can't believe we're here. I woke up thinking this might be a dream," Donna says, as she glances towards the blackness outside. "But you're here."

"I am," he agrees, as he brushes her hair from her face, "We're here..."

After making love, their arms and legs tangled, Donna and Harvey fell into a drowsy sleep. It's nearly eleven now, and outside, there's nothing but the sound of crickets chirping in the humid night air.

"And I'm not going anywhere," His voice is low and certain, which Donna finds comforting.

"You hungry?" he asks. "I'll order dinner and we can sit on the balcony. I brought a great bottle of wine."

After ordering food, Harvey turns back to Donna, his hands finding their way through her soft, thick hair. He's only ever had the privilege of doing that once before, but the feel of her red locks between his fingers is something he's never forgotten. In fact, even when he's dreamt about Donna, his fingers have always found their way there.

"You said you've always wanted this?" he asks, pulling the sheet above his bare torso. "I'm sorry it took me so long."

"Why did it?" Perhaps it's time for that long-awaited conversation, Donna hopes. Now that they're away from the City, maybe Harvey will be relaxed enough to open up.

"Different reasons over the years," he admits. "Fear being the biggest one."

"But it's me, Harvey… What were you afraid of?" she asks, her fingers instinctively finding their way down to his hand.

With his face resting inches away from hers on the plush feather pillow, Harvey tries to explain himself.

"You know my history… I've never been good at relationships, and I figured I'd eventually ruin this if I tried," he says. "You're my best friend, Donna. I couldn't not have you in my life. It became a choice between taking a risk and not knowing or always having you in my life. Does that make sense?"

Donna slowly nods. "So what changed?"

"Like I told you yesterday… I could feel something shifted between us. You lost faith in me, and you were moving on. I was going to lose you… and then something Samantha said."

"Samantha?" Donna is surprised. "I thought we weren't going to talk about work."

"We're not, this is about us. With Robert gone, Samantha wondered who she would talk to now about the big moments in her life," Harvey explains. "And I knew that with good and bad, you're the one I've always wanted by my side. More than anything, you're the one I love… I've always loved... and I couldn't wait... that's when I came over."

"Really?" Her hazel eyes are now wide and wet, and as Donna's heart picks up pace, she can feel herself falling even further. "And you're certain about this?" Harvey may feel confident but Donna still has some things to work though.

"You unsure about how I feel?" he asks gently. Harvey realizes that, when it comes to expressing his feelings, he hasn't been the easiest to pin down. So he's determined to show her, to make it clear to Donna.

Taking her hand, he places a soft kiss across her fingers before resting her palm on his bare chest.

"By the time we're done here this weekend, I'm pretty sure you won't have any doubts," he promises.