Title: Striving to be Human
Summary: Two identical souls, hidden beneath different masks. They both had an enemy. But how do you wage war with yourself? ჯ Pairings inside. From a few years before the Wutai War to AC and beyond.
Pairings: Complicated. Onesided Gen/Seph, onesided Seph/Rufus, Gen/OC/Rufus, very possibly many others.
Beta: Unbeta-ed.
Warnings: Character death, violence, language, teenage themes.

A/N: Oh dear. This is where the timelines and stuff come in. Prepare for confusion. I have played no FFVII games other than Crisis Core, and therefore may screw up some have been warned. Time will be confusing. To clear things up, I'll tell you: there will be a bit of timeskipping. Also, Rufus and Tseng are the same age and both of them are 6 years younger than Kit. That's all for now. Now read, read and review!

::Drench yourself with words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
~Unwritten::

.:Chapter I: Gifts:.

December 14th,μ – εуλ 1988

Morning

Dear Diary,

Do you know what day it is? No, don't answer that, (not that you could anyway, hah) I know what day it is! It's my 8th birthday! Isn't that great? I mean, it means I'm older and deader than before but I get presents and a party and a birthday cake! Tseng's birthday is only four days before mine but my mom and dad don't want to buy a humongous cake just for him, you know? So they're combining the parties, so we're sharing a cake, and I'm going to make him help me blow out the candles. It'll be so much fun! Daichi's coming too, and he says that he got me a really awesome present. He wouldn't tell me what it was, though… Too bad, I guess. I just don't really like surprises. They're surprising, you know?

I should probably hurry downstairs and eat breakfast. We've got to hang up some more decorations and balloons. This is going to be the best day ever!

.

Kit flipped her journal closed and stretched, yawning. She had been so excited the night before that she couldn't fall asleep, and had lain in bed for hours. The exhaustion would vanish soon, though; true to her nature, she practically bounced down the steps to the kitchen. No lack of sleep would make her unhappy on her birthday, especially when there was going to be a party and cake and presents. It was a great day, a terrific day, and even the Blue Moon seemed brighter than usual to Kit. Nobody, not anywhere, could be having a bad day, the girl decided.

She was wrong, because somebody somewhere was having a terrible day, but that is not the point. The point is that today was a momentous day in Kit's life, not because it was her birthday, but because of the gift she received. Look, I'm getting sidetracked again…

Kit and her family spent some time cleaning the house to make it presentable and also to find various lost articles of clothing, ("Ewww, whose sock is this?" "Oh, hey! I thought I lost that one a couple months ago." "…" "What?" "Chiko, that's disgusting.") much to Kit's disgust. However, as I mentioned before, there was nothing that could make her unhappy on her birthday. She kept an optimistic view towards life in general even when she found out Tseng got sick and monsters had appeared in the forest, making it dangerous to travel alone. Even Kit's cheerfulness had its limits, though. The bakery closing was the last straw.

"No cake, no party; no party, no fun. This sucks," she declared and flopped onto her bed, glaring out the window moodily. Her parents wouldn't let her outside because of the monsters, even though Kit promised she would take a bunch of shurikens and if she found a monster she would run and hide in a tree immediately—not that she would; she wasn't a coward, and anyway, no monster could defeat her, but of course she didn't say that—yet her parents adamantly refused. So here she was, cooped up in the house with nothing to do. She cursed her bad luck—well, not really, since the worst insult she dared to use was "blind wombat"—and half-heartedly hoped somebody would come over and give her a present at least. Somebody brave would do it. Somebody like… Daichi, yes, Daichi was brave because he was a ninja and his dad was famous and all. Surely his dad's awesomeness had rubbed off on him?

As if the very thought of her friend had brought him, the doorbell rang. She glanced downward through her window, her bedroom being in the front of the house, and saw—yes!—it was indeed Daichi. Filled with newfound energy, she practically bounded down the stairs to go greet him. It turned out that he had come to bring her a present, and remembering how the young ninja had told her about it earlier, she was eager to find out what it was.

The young ninja opened his mouth. "Kit—"

"You can over here to give me my present? That's so awesome!" the child squealed, cutting him off. "I bet you're the only one who's going to do that," she added unhappily. She quickly brightened up again when her friend gave up trying to talk and pulled out a box wrapped in a ribbon. She eagerly accepted it and undid the ribbon. Opening the box, she found that the gift was wrapped in brightly colored paper. The girl felt the gift. It was flat and hard. Curious, Kit eagerly ripped apart the wrapping paper and caught a glimpse of leather. Pulling away the brightly colored paper, she gasped as she saw the present.

It was a pair of flat knives, complete with sheaths designed to snugly wrap around one's forearm. The 8-year-old cautiously drew out a knife and admired the beautiful wave patterns of the steel, mouth agape as she took in everything from the materia slots to that special blue-ish tint of the steel that indicated it had been reinforced with crystallized mako. Kit felt like exploding from sheer happiness and excitement, and she made it very clear to her friend by telling him how awesome his present was and gleefully jumping on him without sheathing the knife, then apologizing profusely when she almost stabbed him. Daichi just laughed.

"Told you it was awesome, didn't I?" he asked, grinning. She nodded vigorously.

"But where did you get it from?" she asked. Knives like this were costly; mako-reinforced steel was hard to get, and working it was even harder. Her question seemed to catch the boy off-guard; he stuttered a bit, awkwardly, and muttered something. Confused, Kit asked again.

"My father gave them to me—" he glanced at Kit, gauging her reaction, "—but don't worry!" he added hastily, seeing her eyes growing wide with shock.

"Um, I'm not really a knife person, and I don't need it, really, because I've already got my shuriken, and I don't think my dad would mind and uh… it's okay. Really." The words tumbled out of his mouth in a rush to be heard before Kit made any loud protests. It seemed to work, because the girl shut her mouth.

"Oh…" she said, and paused as if thinking. "That's… so awesome!" She grinned at her friend's confused expression.

"The knives were from your dad and your dad gave them to you and you gave them to me, so it's sort of like your dad gave me the knives and that means I got a present from somebody famous." Her eyes sparkled, and Daichi rolled his eyes, though he was smiling too. It was then that her parents finally came to the door. Kit whirled around and immediately displayed the gifts to her parents, beaming. What she did not anticipate, though, was her parents being unhappy. Why were they unhappy? It was such an awesome present! It must have cost like, bunches of money, tons, and anyway it was from Banashi and that automatically made it amazing. Her parents just didn't seem to get it.

Kit couldn't—wouldn't—understand that her parents didn't want their only girl, their baby, to be going out and fighting. So, they explained to her that they would be very worried if she were to fight, and what if she got killed? They would be so, so unhappy.

With the rebellious attitude of teenagers everywhere, the 8-year-old decided that since her parents wanted to coddle her, she would not be coddled. Kit protested loudly—very loudly—and Daichi discreetly crept away from the house. The argument eventually ended with her parents on top, of course. The daggers were hidden away in some dark corner of the house and Kit was shooed up the stairs and put in bed, sulking the whole way. She promised herself that the next day she would find those knives and learn to use them, somehow. Her parents wouldn't know about it, because Kit was going to be a ninja. She would have to be sneaky. This was her first test.

The next day, she woke up at the crack of dawn(well, not really, but she liked to believe it) and began to search the house. The stairs creaked, and there were too many creaky ones to remember, so Kit slid down the banister to begin her search.

After a long hour and a half of fruitless searching—though she did find quite a few hidden compartments she didn't know were there before—she finally discovered a loose floorboard that lifted up when she pulled it. Underneath were her beloved daggers. She pumped a fist victoriously, something she learned from her friend Daichi, and pulled them out. She immediately realized that pulling it out so carelessly could have triggered an alarm, but nothing happened. Apparently, her parents did not think she would find it, or at least not so quickly. Kitsariya one, parents zero. She pushed the floorboard down and began to creep back towards her room, clutching the sheathed weapons. Walking through the corridor, she distantly heard the sound of running water.

Mom must be up, she thought absently, then realized what it meant.

"Oh no," she whispered, and as she heard her mother's quick footsteps coming near, she awkwardly half-leaped half-walked to avoid making noise and hurried towards the living room and its thick, opaque curtains. She ducked behind one just as her mother strode into the room on her way to the kitchen to fix breakfast. She held still, barely breathing until the clanking of dishes was heard. Only then did she slip out and climb up the banister to her room where she collapsed on her bed and silently cheered.

Passed the test with flying colors, she decided and couldn't stop a goofy grin from spreading across her face. She would become a ninja in no time, she just knew it.

The soon-to-be ninja promptly fell asleep.

.

December 15th,μ – εуλ 1988

After waking up again

Dear Diary,

This is soooo awesome! My mom and dad hid the daggers Daichi gave me, but I found them! I feel vevihkvictoriu victorious! Haha, sorry, I always seem to mess up that word. Oh, and I have the greatest idea. Since I have these awesome daggers, I've got to learn how to use them, so I'm going to ask Daichi to ask his dad to teach me. I would ask Daichi to be my teacher, but he said that he's not much of a knife person, and I figure since his dad gave Daichi such cool knives he must use even better ones. I just hope Banashi won't mind. And of course, Daichi won't mind. He's like, my best-est-er-est friend!

Uh oh, my mom's calling; I should get down quick. If she comes up and finds the daggers, she'll freak. I'm going to hide them somewhere safe—I won't even tell you where, Diary. Hah!

.

Kit flipped her journal closed, the hardback cover making a soft fwap noise against the pages. She leapt out of her room and quickly slid down the banister, her customary grin on her face, which abruptly vanished when she remembered that she should be sulking. She replaced the grin with a pout. She changed her bouncy, hyper movements to ones that would be considered normal to other people.

I won't shuffle my feet or droop, the girl thought. If I act too sad, they'll try to give the knives back as long as I promise not to use them, and find out I took them. Then they'll like… watch me or something. It's better if they completely forget about them.

.

After breakfast

Haha, my parents didn't suspect a thing. I told them I would go for a walk in a bit, and that's when I'll ask Daichi. The monsters are all gone, so they're letting me go. Should I bring the knives with me? I think I should, but what if I get discovered? I'm not sure if I'll even need them…

Whatever, I'll bring them. They're cool, and anyway, I should practice wearing them.

.

Kit put away her journal and glanced around furtively to make sure she wasn't being watched. Then, she nimbly climbed on top of the bookshelf in the corner and cautiously reached towards a loose board in the wooden ceiling, grasping the edge of the shelf for balance. She pulled it open slightly and caught the sheathed knives as they slid out. Any Wutai citizen knew to keep plenty of hidden compartments in their house, and Kit's family was no exception.

The girl quickly clambered down and strapped the knives, somewhat clumsily, to her bare arms. She then pulled on a loose-sleeved jacket and waved her arms about to make sure the knives did not show. Satisfied, she descended from her room and left, calling out a good-bye to her parents. Kitsariya walked down the road, unable to stop herself from occasionally fidgeting uncomfortably from the unaccustomed tightness around her arms. She didn't really mind, though; it was like she was a ninja already. Once her house was out of sight, she forsook the beaten dirt road for the trees, climbing up with ease and jumping from branch to branch like a real ninja—albeit much slower than one. She grinned as birds and squirrels fled as she advanced, and stopped outside Banashi's house. She jumped down from the tree like she'd seen other ninjas do, but stumbled a bit and winced at the jarring impact as she landed incorrectly. She wasn't a ninja yet, it seemed. She pulled down the sleeves of her jacket which had ridden up a bit during the journey and after gather her courage, knocked on the door.

Unfortunately, Tsukuri Banashi opened it instead of Daichi.

Kit paused, thrown off by this sudden hitch in her plans, before launching into a hasty explanation for her being there.

"Oh uh, hi! You're Daichi's dad, right? See, he gave me this totally awesome present and um, I wanted to thank him?" She paused uncertainly, and realizing her lie was really obvious, she immediately tried to distract him from it.

"So yeah um, can you teach me how to use knives?"

Whoops. That was not what she had meant to say. Banashi cast his sharp gaze over her and she immediately began to wish she could just vanish. Poof.

"You're the one my son gave the knives to?" He watched her intently.

"Um, yeah… so, like, could you teach me? I really wanna become a ninja!"

The man's stern features softened and he chuckled a little.

"Sure, kid." Kit coulda swore her eyes almost popped out of her head.

"Really? Th-thanks—" she stopped herself, realizing he was her mentor now.

"Thank you, shi fu," she said instead, politely bowing. The edges of Banashi's eyes crinkled in amusement and he walked into the house, the girl following eagerly.

I see the potential Daichi saw in her, now.

.:|:.

"No, you're gripping them too tightly. And your stance is too stiff, relax a bit."

Kit obediently followed his instructions, loosening her stance.

"Yes, that's better. Fighting with knives is all about being able to flow easily from offensive to defensive and striking quickly and precisely. You can't be too stiff or you won't react quickly enough."

The girl nodded, committing every bit of advice to memory. Tsukuri held a long wooden baton in his hands, circling her, examining her stance from every angle as he talked. The wood of his weapon was scarred with multiple slash marks and stained with dark reddish splotches, clear signs of use. The room they were in had a bamboo mat—hard enough to hurt if you fell on it, but soft enough not to break anything—and wooden walls that had more than a few grooves and pits from knives. The ninja stopped in front of Kit.

"Slash me," he said. Kit stood and stared, the words not quite processing. Seeing her hesitation, he held his baton up.

"Don't worry," he assured her. "I'll block it."

The girl hesitated for just a moment more before bringing up her knives and attacking. The man easily blocked the clumsy slashes, noting that it appeared she was attempting to copy the moves he did when he had showed her what knife fighting really looked like.

"Alright, stop," he said at last. He glanced at a clock above the door, and decided she had been on her "walk" for long enough.

"You shouldn't try to copy other people's battle styles; everybody is different. Keep that in mind for the next lesson, alright? We'll meet in two days at the same time."

"We're stopping already?" Kit whined.

"Your parents are probably worried. Your "walk" has already taken over half an hour," he said drily. Kit glanced at the clock and squeaked, quickly sliding the knives back into the arm sheathes and throwing her jacket on. She thanked Banashi and ran back to her house, tapping out her pattern on the door and entering.

"I'm back," she calls out and heads toward the stairway leading up to her room. As she passed by Murakami, who was sprawled on the living room sofa reading a book, he looked up.

"Hey, Kit, have you heard the news?" he asked casually. Kit shook her head, interested.

"What news?" she asked curiously.

"The Crescent Unit is going to make a base here. They're arriving tomorrow."

There was a long pause as the girl tried to wrap her mind around the idea. The Crescent Unit—the ultimate ninjas—were coming to this village. The same village where she lived. A group of ninjas even better than Banashi, and Banashi was famous.

"No kidding?" she whispered.

"I'm completely serious," Murakami replied. He was the more decent older brother. He didn't mess with her as much as Chiko. Kit practically exploded with glee, hugging her older brother(which she would probably regret doing later) and racing up the stairs to her room.

It was then that she realized what she wanted, and how that she would achieve it. She was going to be a great ninja, better than Banashi, and the first step would be to join the Crescent Unit.

She vowed that one day, she would be known all over Wutai as a great-the greatest-ninja.

It was a decision that changed her life forever.

December 14th,μ – εуλ 1991

On a planet slowly losing its life force…

In a barren wasteland…

Upon a floating metropolis…

Within the infamous Shinra building…

A white box with air holes discreetly covered by a blood-red ribbon lay in front of a child. Judging by the balloons in the room, it was the child's birthday. The 5-year-old boy opened it eagerly.

Inside was a neatly packaged white chocobo.

"Wark?"

Rufus Shinra blinked, then shrugged and glanced at the card attached to the bird's plain white collar. From Iris, it read. Veld helped me pick it out. I hope you like the collar he chose! Iris. His mother, who he rarely met due to his father's disapproval of any contact between them. His attention was drawn away from the card to the chocobo chick which was unhappily clawing at the collar with a foot. It glared accusingly at Rufus, who frowned back.

"Don't blame me. It was him," the child told the bird plaintively, gesturing at Veld. The chick tilted its head quizzically, then "kweh"-ed softly and transferred its glare to the Turk. It's true, they really are smart, he thought as he absently stroked the chocobo's feathers. His gaze wandered to the card again and he dwelled on the unfairness of not being able to see his mother much. After all, she was his mother, so shouldn't he be able to choose whether he could see her or not? The strawberry blonde's eyes lit up as he thought of this. Surely, his father would have to let him see his mother when presented such a convincing argument? Rufus Shinra decided to try it out.

He asked Veld if he could see his father but Veld told him his father was in a meeting. Oh well. He would ask later, he supposed. Rufus had nothing to do but brood over the injustices of his short life. Come to think of it, there were plenty of things he wasn't allowed to do and many people he wasn't allowed to visit. He wasn't allowed to even wander around the Shinra building, or even leave the room he was in until his father came back.

Rufus decided he didn't like not having control over his life.

He would have to fix that, wouldn't he?

You'll be seeing little bits of Rufus' life throughout the chapters. The purpose of this you will probably figure out pretty soon.

Something seems… off about this chapter. I can't figure it out.
-thinks hard-
I just… don't know. You. Readers. Yeah, I mean you there. No, you, not you. Oh whatever; just somebody help me out and tell me everything that's wrong with how I presented this chapter; it's bugging me SO MUCH.
I had to sort of drag this chapter out of my brain, 'cause nothing really happens except backstory and character development… Maybe that's it?

Anyway... Stay tuned for Chapter II: Lessons.