Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own them. Or there'd be more Jules/Sam!

A/N: Here's the 3rd lette, written by Mr. Greg. Enjoy! Either Ed or Wordy is next, I'm still trying to decide :)

Dear Lou,

I felt like I lost a son that day. When you joined the team, I trained you and guided you. I was a mentor to you, and all the other members that joined while I was Sargeant. You were like a son to me. So is everyone else. Maybe it's because I never got a chance to be a father to my own son. No matter how you see it, you guys were what kept me sane after failed negotiations and calls gone wrong. You guys were what inspired me to keep going.

The team is the only family I have left, and it broke my heart to lose you. It really did. In front of the team, I have to stay strong. I'm the Sargeant, it's my job to hold us together and pick us up when we have a bad day.

But when I got home at the end of the day, I almost lost control. I almost slipped back into the darkness that Eddie saved me from all those years ago. I think you know what I'm talking about, Lou. There was a case of unopened beer in my refrigerator. I wanted to drink it all, just to hide the feelings I was having. But then your face floated into my mind, with the faces of the rest of the team. When I went to bed, the case was still unopened. I knew you wouldn't have wanted that. I couldn't let the team down. I couldn't let you down. That case is in the dumpster now. It's better that way.

I visited your parents after you left us. I tried my hardest to make it easier for them. Then they told me you had called, right before it happened. I'm a trained negotiator, but I've never been at such a loss for words. I think what I said helped a little bit, but I'm sorry I couldn't do better. I told them how you were a hero, and that you saved a building full of kids. I couldn't be more proud of you. You saved so many lives that day, and that's what the job is all about.

That's always been the worst part of the job. No Sargeant wants to make that visit.

I've lost teammates before. If you've been with the SRU as long as I have, it's just about unavoidable. With you, it was different. I think it was because when you joined with Jules, team one started to feel like family. Then when Spike joined, the feeling was undeniable. Team one became my family, and now it's been destroyed like a bomb that blew up a building.

I can't erase the guilt, though. I was in charge; I was the one that sent you out to your death. It's my fault, no one else's. I'm so sorry, Lou. If I could go back in time and change something, anything that would change what happened to you, I would have. You were a good cop and a good friend. You didn't deserve that.

The team isn't the same anymore. Spike is quieter, Jules laughs less, Sam snaps more, Eddie is even more serious, and Wordy is moodier. I'm trying not to show any changes, but I don't think its working. Then there's Leah. Spike and Jules really seemed to have it in for her at first. I think Jules has cooled down a bit, but Spike still seems to want her out, out, out. I think he'll come around eventually. He knows you would want him to welcome her. I can't help but think that she'll never feel like part of the family. I hope I'm wrong, though, it's not her fault that she's joining the team this way. I think Ed and Wordy have accepted her the most.

I know how long the road to recovery is. I can't help but feel that this time, the road will be longer. It's harder losing family than it is to lose a friend. But I'll hind my true feelings and pick the team up and put them back together. I'll pretend it doesn't hurt, even when it hurts so much it's like a knife in my gut. Just like when the explosion first went off.

It's hard, losing you. The team's trying to hide their feelings, but they can't hide them from me. They forget that I'm trained to read people. I'm going to let them be, and hope they'll come to terms with it by themselves. I'm still trying to, too.

We will never forget you, Lewis Young.

Greg Parker

Until next time. Reviews are love ;)