What is this? An update already?

So I have come to realize that reviews and alerts make me squeal. Not a lie. Thank you so much for your interest in this story, I'd love for you all to stick with me. One quick thing that I'd love to say is that yeah, I am an angsty-as-fuck writer. It's kind of what I do – the whole, dark, nervous, holyshitI'mgoingtocrymyeyesout writing? Yep, that'd be me. So I can safely say seeing as I've already got up to chapter 11 pretty much hammered out, this story is going to be angsty. Some chapters more than others, but just a fair warning. It'll all be worth it in the end, though I'm not promising a happy ending yet. Guess you'll just have to wait and see, huh?

Again though, thank you so much for taking a shine to this story – it warms my heart.

Chapter 3

Kurt Hummel could sometimes be defined as a relatively awkward person. So when awkward situations arose, he handled them the same way that he always did – standing awkwardly and making witty remarks.

Who was he to change that tradition as the Hudmel family filed into his apartment?

"Kurt!" Burt Hummel yelled, throwing his arms around his son and knocking the cap perched on his head partially off in the process. When he finally let go Carole had him in her own vise-grip, followed soon after by an uncomfortable embrace from Rachel and then an even stranger pat on the back from Finn.

"Hey everyone." He'd managed to get out; closing the door once all of their luggage was inside.

"Your apartment's huge! Did you decorate it yourself? Oh my goodness, Carole do you see that painting?" Rachel blabbered happily while making herself right at home, already stripping off her coat, either choosing to ignore the tension in the room or completely oblivious.

Kurt just smiled tightly.

The decision to have his family over for Christmas had been a difficult one and he still wasn't sure what he thought of it. But Finn's speech had gotten to him – along with Coraline's. He'd only briefly spoken with him and Rachel since the night he'd come to the snap decision to have them all come to LA for Christmas. If he was being honest and true, his dad and Carole were the only two that he wanted to make happy, so if that meant a little discomfort then he'd do it. He owed it to them in a way, after worrying them for so many years. There was no way that he was going back to Lima unless there was an emergency, so having them over seemed like the next best option.

His parents had jumped at the opportunity, like any normal parent would. Who wouldn't want to see their son after nearly 5 years of not hearing anything about him? Flights had been scheduled, bags packed, and then they had arrived on Kurt's doorstep in what felt like no time at all.

"I'll show you guys to your rooms." Kurt finally said, motioning to the hallway that branched off from the living room. They all picked up their things, and decided to tidy up while Kurt made dinner, giving him some time alone breathe. Big step didn't even begin to cover what was going on.

The family would be staying for 3 days, going back to Lima the day after Christmas. Tonight was Christmas Eve and try as he might Kurt couldn't help the bitterness that was seeping through him. Christmas had always been his mother's favorite holiday, not to mention . . . His. The goofball who Kurt had fallen in love with, and made Kurt love practically everything to do with the adorable idiot – including insufferable holidays that he now was allowed to hate with vigor.

Kurt chopped at carrots unhappily, a scowl on his face.

"What did they ever do to you?" A teasing voice asked.

"Huh?"

Rachel rolled her eyes and motioned to the vegetables, "It looks like you're trying to murder the poor things."

"It's food, Rachel. I know you're all earth-friendly and all, but honestly it's a vegetable. They're not poor things."

"You're nervous about us being here, aren't you?" She accused.

Kurt raised his eyebrow in silent question.

"You always get defensive," She answered, ignoring his snort. "Sarcastic, mean, and then you bake. Like you obviously have been doing for the past 24 hours."

He tried to ignore the stack of baked goods on the counter, pretending to not know a word of what she was talking about.

"That day that you left was really scary, Kurt." Rachel said softly after a while. "I got back to New York, thinking that we'd just have to deal with another breakup -makeup, but you were gone. I kept thinking that maybe you'd come back to get all of your things but you were just gone. I kept thinking that maybe you'd come back to get your things but you never did."

Kurt's hold on the knife he used to chop tightened until his knuckles were white to stop them from shaking. "Are you here to guilt trip me too? Because honestly, Berry, I feel bad enough alright?"

"I just want you to know that I missed you, ever since that day that you left without any explanation. Even Blaine didn't know where you would be, or why you left and he knew more about you than anyone."

Kurt couldn't help the sardonic laugh that bubbled in his chest and past his lips at the mention of Blaine.

Everything went awkwardly silent, she knew that she'd stuck a nerve but out of the things Rachel Berry was known for, it was most definitely not relenting.

"He barely passed senior year. Did you know that? But he did, and then he went to college all the way out in –"

"Just stop." Kurt cut her off, tears dancing in his eyes so brightly that he had to bite his tongue in order for them to not overflow. "I don't want to know where he went to school, or what he majored in, or what his newest boyfriend is like. I don't want to know if he asks about me, or even if he talks to anyone from Glee Club anymore. I'm done with him, Rachel. You don't even know how bad it was. How much therapy I had to sit through until I got deemed 'fixed'."

She took in the sight of her old friend, nodding slightly before moving forward to give him a hug. The young actor took a shuddering breath before he was able to briefly hug back in order for her to let go. He gave her a nod before turning back around to the cut vegetables, she going back to her room with Finn.

Seeing as he'd already received an awkward heart-to-heart moment from Rachel, he really wasn't expecting any more from his family. It was late, nearing 11 and he'd assumed that everyone else was already asleep as he scrubbed furiously at pots and pans while simultaneously doing prep for tomorrows Christmas feast.

He was dealing with the pies while letting the dishes soak when a large hand was placed on his shoulder, a warm arm draping across his back. He'd startled, as he was known to do, and jerked to see his father standing with a small smile beside him.

"Uh, hey, dad. I thought you'd gone to sleep."

Burt shook his head, "Nah. You're old man isn't that old yet. I can still pull a few late nights out when I want to. And right now I just want to spend some alone time with my son."

If Kurt hadn't been feeling guilty before – which he had – he certainly did now. How many years of father-son bonding had he thrown away because of his own selfishness? How many moments had he missed, that would have made stories to tell his own kids when he was older? Who was he to decide for his father to not have those times anymore simply because he was scared to go back to that city. He was disgusted with himself – more than usual.

"Anything in particular you wanted to talk about?"

Burt shrugged, looking as if he was contemplating as he moved away to load some of the dishes into the dishwasher from the sink. "I guess I could ask how you've been, but I like to think I still know you well enough to know you'd spout off some bull-shit answer about being great. So how does it feel to finally have fame?"

Kurt shrugged, throwing a wad of twine to the side, "It's not like I'd thought it'd be, that's for sure."

"You're happy though?"

"For now." It wasn't a lie. He truly was happy. Who wouldn't be happy doing something that they enjoyed and finally getting praised for it. But despite how intoxicating his new life was, it wasn't what he wanted for the rest of his life.

"I guess that's enough. For now." Burt looked over briefly. "You're my son Kurt, and I still want you to have the damn universe."

Smiling, Kurt slowly answered. "Well, having the family here is definitely making me happier than I would have thought."

"Even Rachel?"

"Even Rachel." Kurt confirmed with a laugh. "I don't understand how they got back together though."

Burt rolled his eyes, leaning back against the sink and crossing his arms over his chest as he watched his son. "All we know is it involves a cat, oil, and a Broadway number. So far that's all Carole and I have managed to get out of them. They got re-engaged a few months ago."

"Yeah, Finn told me when I was getting everything arranged. When's their wedding?"

"I don't think they've even thought that far ahead yet. Were you planning on making it to that?" Burt sounding so hopeful and who was Kurt to turn that hope down?

"Your brother only gets married once – hopefully. That's generally what someone has to go to." He teased and it suddenly felt just like it had when Kurt still lived at home. His dad and him in the kitchen just talking and enjoying being in the others company.

Burt moved forward, clutching at Kurt's shoulder again before letting it go. "It's good to have you back, kiddo."

Kurt could only nod, a sudden tightness in his throat making it difficult to speak. Burt exited the kitchen, headed back to his room.

"Hey dad?" Kurt called softly.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Burt smiled, and Kurt could have sworn he saw tears in his eyes. "Love you too, kiddo. Don't stay up too late." Then he took off down the hall, leaving Kurt with the food for tomorrow's meal.

"You do realize we have all day to open presents right?" Kurt groaned, rolling onto his other side so that his back was to the annoying child practically dancing and spouting glitter that had woken him up.

"It's 9 already. Come on, Kurt!" Finn whined, bouncing up and down on the bed. Kurt guessed that if he were to look over he would no doubt be wearing a pout and have his hands clasped in front of him in what Finn considered classic begging position.

Kurt just reclosed his eyes and attempted to go back to sleep, despite Finn basically making a wave-pool out of his mattress. When it didn't stop, he mumbled life-threats into his pillow, although he himself wouldn't even be able to distinguish what they were.

"Rachel even made breakfast already. I promise that I'll have coffee for you!"

"Fine!" Kurt huffed, sitting up with a giant yawn and shooting a glare at Finn. "Go, shoo!" He waved his hands in the motion, glaring for a while more at Finn's retreating form before he pulled on a shirt that in a way matched his silk pajama bottoms. Even if it was a simple day in, he had to look somewhat presentable. He may not be as finicky about his clothing as he once had been, but he didn't enjoy not looking put-together in front of others.

The door creaked as he opened it to walk out in the kitchen, alerting the half-asleep others. Aside from Finn, only the giant's fiancé was chipper this early. In all his years, Kurt had never been a morning person. He preferred punching those kinds of people to actually going along with their annoying antics of excitement when he should really be sleeping. It made for some shitty working mornings, but by now almost everyone he associated with knew that unless you had a damn good reason, you didn't talk to Kurt before he chose to awake without receiving a glare or special finger. Rachel and Finn had obviously forgotten that.

"Remind me why I'm awake?" He muttered, taking the coffee that Carole offered him.

"It's Christmas, Kurt!" Rachel squeaked and danced around as she collected the cut fruits and toast she'd made. "Aren't you even a little bit excited?"

Kurt only rolled his eyes in answer while he nursed the scalding, bitter liquid. "Seeing as you're Jewish, I don't understand why you're excited."

"Because I can celebrate the present giving without celebrating the holiday itself – now hurry up!"

They ate quickly, due to Rachel and Finn barely even being able to sit still, before moving into the living room where a relatively small tree had been placed in the corner with presents underneath.

"Alright, Kurt you sit over there in that chair. Carole, Burt, you two sit on the couch. Finn and I will take the floor so we can hand out all the gifts." Commanded Rachel, already starting to examine the packages.

The morning consisted of inane chatter – mostly from Rachel and Finn – while the trash of green and red paper on the floor increasingly grew, and the packages eventually became new perfumes, books, clothes, and things to match whatever person's hobby. By the end Kurt was ready to just collapse back in bed, the constant war of emotions making him mentally tired. He loved them all, but sometimes it was just too much. Even now he couldn't count up the amount of times he'd heard, "We don't really know what you like anymore but . . ." And the guilt, even as little as he liked to admit it, was eating away at his conscience.

All the same, as he took his new things back to his room he smiled back at the people lounging in his living room, gratefulness at least being forefront in the fight of his feelings. These people had come all the way to see him just because they loved him, and for at least a little moment while the rest of the world seemed to come to a brief stop, he could revel in that feeling; and even though he hadn't forgiven some things from the past, it was still something.

A bit short again, but at least this time it ended on a brighter note. God, I love Burt Hummel. Just . . .how fatherly he is, it's so touching. Drop me a review or something to let me know what you think.

Kisses!