Chapter Seven

Realizations

A shrill ring made Jasper and I jump. I flung myself towards the phone rather manically. "Hello?" I tried to be as completely normal as possible, must of been a little funy because Jasper clasped a hand over his mouth.

"Bells, your home, good. We're back from fishin' are you coming over?" Charlie asked.

"I'm sorry Dad, um Jessica is having issues with Mike. She asked me to go over to her house for a bit." I lied hopefully well enough. It wasn't a full lie, a friend was in fact having love issues.

"You're a good friend Bells, I'll see you home tonight."

"Goodbye Dad."

"Later Hun." Click. Relief.

Now I had time to figure out where Jasper would be staying. I turned back to him. "Your still horrible at lying. At least some things don't change." He smiled slightly.

"Hey! Just because you can hear my heart like a creeper, and can tell I'm lying, dont mean I'ma that bad at it. I thought change was a good thing?"

"What is with the blue hair exactly? Not that I don't like it. It's...you. Some how. I didn't like the brown too much."

"Finally! Someone else realizes how horrible and dull my brown hair was."

"Your avoiding the question." He taunted me.

"Your...sparkly."

"Low blow. I mean it's the most... just... gah I hate being in the sun because of it. I'm a vampire I'm supposed to be feared, instead I look like tinkerbell. " He looked mortified.

Jasper shown his emotions on his face, just in this little amount of time, I noticed this. He was good at hiding the bad ones, but I still saw them, they swam in his eyes.

I giggled. "Never said I fought fair."

"Please, darlin' ?"

"Not fair with the southerness!"

"I never fight fair."

"Fine. Well, I hadn't worn blue since he left so I said to self, "Well why the duck not go all out and dye your hair blue Bella?" So I did. Should of seen my Dads face when I went threw the process of lightening my hair. Priceless. " I grinned at him.

A small chuckle escaped him.

"My question now, why the black?"

"My natural color darlin'." Jaw drop.

"Whattttt?"

"She thought it'd work better if I was blonde like Esme and Rosalie. So I could be a Hale. My normal color is dark brown. Also she made me shave my face and cut my hair. I was rather, straggly when I was changed, it was war time, I didn't own a razor. That was to fancy.

Vampires hair grows? Hmm...Interview with the Vampire you told me wrong!

"Your hair grows once you cut it, but never past your turning length. "

Guess he felt my shock and confusion, and needn't need me to vocalize my question.

"Now my turn. Well it's not a question though. I adore your shirt."

Ah Girl with the Dragon tattoo.

I giggled again. "Ebay is amazing for things."

He smiled, the best he could, it didnt reach his eyes.

"Are..are you really staying for as long as...well your welcome?" I asked slightly frightened of the answer. He could of said it just to get on Jacobs nerves.

"Isabella, I will stay here for as long as you want me too."

Relief.

"Where will you being staying exactly? I mean I dont get the hint you'd want to go back to the mansion."

"No. I dont want to go back there...I dont need a place to stay. I'll stay in the woods."

"You could keep your things in my room, I mean you dont want them to get wet. And well are you makin' a public appearance or am I special ?"

"You're definitely special, I don't know yet. My coming here was sort of split decision thing. As for my things...I dont have any. My personal belongings are in storage. I dont have anymore clothing..."

He probably didnt want any of that preppy things Alice dressed him in. Maybe I could take him shopping. The good kind of shopping. The thrift store, and the walmart shopping that you could find shirts that insulted people. "We could go shopping. It's quite painless with me, I make scenes in stores, dont judge purchases unless it's really, and I mean really strange. "

"I think...I would like that. These jeans do have a bit of mud and blood..I think I alarmed your werewolf friend quite a bit. He's a loud mouth little pup. Much to cocky for someone with so little experience. " His tone was...a little angry.. and something else I couldn't decipher.

"Jakes like that, you just...get used to it really. He is a good guy, really good guy, he's helped me through alot." I said it in the tone that says really I find him quite annoying but I love him anyway. "He's like a brother to me." I added quickly after. I wasn't Jacob's girlfriend, I felt like I had to clarify that to everyone. It was automatic to me.

"He's very protective of you. I feel I should let you know of something. He's in the woods. I only realised it a short time ago, but I could feel his worry and jealousy when you said my things could stay in your room. You sure he's feels like your brother?"

Anger flooded through my system, ignoring Jasper's question, I opened the kitchen window that face the woods.

"JACOB BLACK GO HOME! GET! BE FREE! I must let you go to the wild now! If you love something enough, you must let it fly, so fly little bird...um wolf, away!" I was waving my arm in a shooing way and jumping up and down to get my point further across. My hair bouncing and falling in my face. Laughter from behind me. I turned smiling at him mischievously.

He was laughing hard, hand on his heart, falling over himself laughter. It continued. At first I was giggling too, but then I got worried, going silent. His laughter was manic and hysterical. Then he broke. His laughter turned into sobs. Dry, broken horrible sobs that would haunt me forever. I didnt feel my feet move but suddenly I was in front of him. My arms wrapping around his cold stone-like, shaking body, slight deju vu hit me at feeling the cold marble again.

"Shhh.. Jasper breath, It's ok. I'm here, shhh, I know how hard it is sweetheart. "

I pushed all the calm I could at him, focusing are calming happy memories then pushing it at him, focusing only only him and me good memories. Child hood memories, mindless happy moments, the protective nature of Charlie whenever I was hurt, all of anything that was good in my life, I thought of and pushed it into Jasper. His hands that where once holding his face now wrapped around my mid section, his face now pushing into my side and lower stomach.

"I'm here Jasper, I'll help you. It'll be ok, I promise." His crying ended slowly, until I was just holding him rocking slowly, somehow we had ended up on the floor. I stroked his hair, humming softly.

Three things I was absolutely positive about. One, Jasper was broken, more so than I ever was. Secondly, he needed me. And lastly I would do anything to make an end to his pain.

Chapter Eight

Rest

What did they do to him? It had to be more than that edited version he gave me.

"Jasper?" My voice was barely over a whisper, but I knew he'd here it all the same.

He flew across the room, leaving me alone on the floor against the stove's frame. He flung his body so hard it hit the wall, dust felt from were it met the ceiling, a clatter to the floor annouced that daisy painting that was once there fell. Shock, shame, regret, embarrassment rolled off of him in waves. I took notice that his breathing had stopped. I tried to work my creepy good feels at him again. I pushed my best thoughts of safety and comfort into the forefront of my mind, pushing it at him.

Remembering being little right after I broke my arm on the dock. Charlie there holding me and telling me it was ok. It was my most vivid memory of my father when I was young.

"Jasper you have to trust me. Dont feel like that. Please. You have no reason to be embarrassed. "

"How? How do you keep doing that? Am I so broken I can't even control my gift?" The look on his face made me cringe. Self hatred. I didn't even have to feel the emotions from him to know that.

"No. I...I dont know why I can."

"How are your emotions so strong? I would think you were a vampire if I didnt smell you."

"I was trying to calm you. Thinking of good memories." He was silent then for some time. I just stared at him and stayed calm, eyes unfocused, more tuned to the memories in my head.

"...Thank you." I shrugged, gently pulled from my memories.

"So tomorrow we'll go shopping. Do you want to watch tv? I have books if that's you thing, I dont have video games.. Board games! I think i still have a few of those." I spoke fast but I tried to act normal.

"You dont have to try to keep me busy."

"But I just want to spend time with you, and your in need of a me."

"You got that right darlin'." He rubbed his face then and moved him self off of the wall in a weary human way. He was tired. Didnt think that was possible, but his emotional face showed it in every single feature.

"Whats got you confused now."

"You look tired. Thought vampires didnt sleep."

"Our minds get tired, our bodies don't." I walked to the living room pondering this. I threw myself on the couch and pulled the blanket around me. Jaspers eyes darted between the chair and the couch.

"You can sit here ya know. I'm not that big. " He shook his head and opted for the floor, leaning against the couch. I flicked the tv around until I horror film about vampires that I liked.

"The vampires aren't all badass and sparkly but it's a pretty decent show." A small chuckle from him. Since he was on the couch, I decided he wasn't joining it, so I sprawled out on it.

"Your tired." He knew how I felt I needn't answer.

"I thought humans slept during the night hours."

"I had a nightmare last night. Most nights I don't sleep very well either. Wake up a lot." I sighed.

"I'll help you sleep tonight. If you want me to lurk about. Don't want to be like him, always found that very strange. A bit stalkerish. Creeper perhaps, as the kiddos say."

I giggled at that.

"Yes it was strange. You can stay in my room instead of outside. I have books that you could read instead of watching me...you dont have to if you dont want to..."

"I offered Bella, I want too." I glanced at the clock.

"Damn! It's 8 already?"

"I'm afraid...you well had to calm me for quite some time.."

"Oh. I need to eat something I guess."

"I can hear Charlies cruiser down the block. I'll be in your room..You dont happen to have paper and pencils?" He asked in a shy manner, fidgetting with his hands he was now standing in front of me.

It seemed Jasper had the same complex I did, I didn't like to ask for things and I didn't like to put anyone out.

I liked taking care of myself, I'm sure he did too.

"For drawing? I have sketchbooks and pencils. I'll show you when I go up. Pencils are on my desk, along with loose paper if you can't wait. " Gone. I was talking at air by the time I was half way through, but I knew he would hear.

The front door opened then.

"Hey Bells! I brought home some fish."

"Yay! I was just bout to get me something to eat."

I ate as fast as possible and made the chit-chat necessary to free myself from the living room.

"I'ma head up to bed Dad. Oh..I'm going to go shopping tomorrow."

His face that was watching the end of the horror film turned to mine that was on the say he was shocked at this news was a little under stating.

"What? I need new clothes."

"Be safe hun, dont go to Seattle, it isnt safe up there. So many disappearances. Big cities they just are-"

"Sure, sure. Night Dad." I bolted upstairs before I could hear how big cities ruined the world speech again. I opened my room door to find Jasper in the rocking chair with a book in his hand. I went to my dresser and got my night cloths, glancing at the book Wuthering Heights in his hand.

"I dont really read that one anymore."

"You've read it a million times though." It was in horrible condition, he could easily come to that conclusion.

"Yes but I've grown out of thinking that it was actually a good love story, it's a tragedy. The love was the only thing that kept you interested, and it was nothing more than obsession." I walked to the bathroom then. I showered quickly and got on my old wife beater, and sweats. I was drying my hair with a towel when I came back into my room.

"You draw hmm?" He asked not even looking up from the book that he was still reading despite my review.

To be honest the novel had sickened me when one day, in need of a comforting familiar escape, it struck me that it could easily be about Edward and I in a loose way. Constantly doomed for a bitter end.

"Yes, I have a notebook I haven't started yet you can have." I looked in my desk until I found it, I tossed it at him not looking, yet hearing the soud of paper and skin meeting in the air. I grabbed the pencils and handed them to him.

"Thank you. I'll get you another one tomorrow."

I crawled under the covers and yawned. I truly was tired. "No worries hun."

"'Hun?' Don't tell me, my southern...ness has worn off on you? The old lady hun syndrome so soon Bella?"

"Bite...a fish Jasper." Soft chuckles sounded before I felt the calm I had whe he first arrived.

I smiled.

"Goodnight Isabella."

"Goodnight Jasper...dont be a creeper and steal my underwear or something...they aren't your size...I hope. Would be embarrassing for the both of us." I said drowsily. He chuckled deeply.I looked out the window from my bed and noticed the perfect crescent moon against a clear black sky speckled with stairs. It was the last thing I saw before all the feel good emotions hit me hard and I was out.

Chapter Nine

Shopping

I stretched happily in my bed. I hadn't rested this well in years. I cuddled my pillow and moaned into it, whispering my love to it. Chuckles came from an unknown source in my room. "AH!" I fell off the bed and promptly on the floor.

Right on my ass. The laughter got worse. I peeked over the side of the bed to see a male in absolute hysterics.I giggled at the joy on his face. His laughter, when it isn't forced or false, makes his eyes light up, wrinkles around them and full kid like grin on his face. Jasper should never cry.

" I forgot you were here." I whispered.

"My fault..." He was then interrupted in his speech by a over flow of deep hearty chuckles. "I was alarmed that you were feelin love and little lust for your own pillow."

The heat flew to my cheeks. Then he looked embarrassed for saying it, while I was embarrassed for feeling it. Subject change.

"Ok! Shopping today..." I walked over to the small walk-in closet in my room.

I pulled out simple black jeans, a black tank top, and a red flannel button up. I looked at Jasper then. There was blood on his jeans, he had said it before, and now in the light of the morning and my rooms above light, that was blood. Indeed. Maybe I should try to find something else for him to wear before we go.

"Is the blood that noticeable?" He said with a frown. I hadn't noticed I was staring so intently on his pants, embarrassed, yet again, I looked away.

I nodded to him. "Now that I actually take notice, yes. Unless you want people to assume your a mass murderer...I'll go see if something in Charlie's closet will fit you." I got dressed in the bathroom then I went to Charlie's room. He was already gone for the day since it was 9 o'clock already.

I opened his closet and began to search. The discovery I found was mildly alarming. This man got rid of nothing, everything he had ever worn was in the closet. Which I suppose, was for me now. I found a pair of jeans that were older than myself and much smaller than Charlie was now. They were pale blue and looked like they were from the 80s, slight rips in the knees, but other than that they looked the same shade of his jeans now. I hoped they'd fit Jasper. I found a Boston T-shirt as well and thought it might do good to redo the entire outfit.

"Here!" I said triumphantly. "I hope they fit you. If not I can look for something else. "

He appraised them. "They should do. Although I might steal this shirt forever, are you sure you want me to have it?"

"He doesn't wear it, I never heard him play them at all. Shame really. "

He nodded and started to take off his shirt, mumbling "I always loved the eighties."

The shirt was just over his belly button revealing a vast expanse of pale toned skin. From what I could see he was well-built, not all muscle and huge like Emmett, but wiry and solid. Nothing like Edward. Oh god. I'm staring! A mouse like sound escaped me as I ran from the room. He really almost undressed in front of me.

And you ogled him!

Dont judge me!

I ran downstairs straight to the kitchen. Cleaning random objects, before taking a deep breath and pouring myself cereal. When he came down them I was pouring milk into my bowl of Count Chocula. His face was full of amusement, yet oblivious to the fact I stared at him for 20 seconds while he was shirtless.

"Yes even my cereal is vampiric. Got an issue with it?" I gave him my best bring it look I could possibly summon. He shook his head trying not to laugh.

"So..."I said between bites."You ready to reinvent yourself today?"

"Um...I'm not really that...into..shopping...but yeah sure." I giggled.

"Jasper, we'll get you basics then do whaever you want the rest of the day. I'm not like her. We'll prolly only need one or two stores. Then, we'll do something you are into." He let out a huge sigh.

"Dont know why I was worried. You always hated Bella Barbie."

When we drove to Port Angeles, there was really no reason to go to Seattle, so Charlie's fretting was miss placed. I had on an rock station while we drove, I was happy to take notice that Jasper sang to most of the songs like I did. He didn't complain about my driving either.H e just looked relaxed and slightly happy, arm on the window frame, log legs spread out in the small cab. Jasper stood much taller than Edward, the same hieght as Jacob. A leggy six foot five. The smile although happy, didnt reach his eyes.

The only way I could make those eyes light up was making a fool out of myself. But I'd do it again and again just to see it. I cursed Edward and Alice in my head the entire drive. How could they not let me know this man? How could they let this man go?Why would Alice ever stop loving him? Don't ask me, i'm snarky not evil. There must of been some greater reason that the fact that I was her sister, she left just like the rest did, if she cared like she told him, she would of stayed. The new mate she talked of must of been something, but to me, I couldn't see leaving him broken like that, for anyone. Like grow a pair of boobies and let him down gently. I tried to hide my inner turmoil from Jasper, and from his silence I was successful. We arrived and I parked in the downtown area.

"Where to from here?"

He pointed to the thrift shop a block from us. "I don't want anything fancy. If you don't mind."

"Good choice actually." His shock wasn't lost to me, but I ignored it nevertheless. The thrift shop had a lot of clothes, rows lines the walls, racks apon racks dotted the majority of the store. He looked at me as if to ask 'What do I do? Where do I go?'. Completely lost. I wasn't going to boss him around.

"Go on and look for stuff. I'ma look an see if I can find any band shirts that would fit me."

And I left him standing there. He has to understand he can get his own goshdamned clothing and not need some chicks approval. If you love them, set them free. Sometime later he found me standing in the woman shoes cradling a pair of converse that had skulls and roses! Converse with skulls and roses! For only 14.99!

"Mine." I whispered possively.

He had a chart with jeans, T-shirts and flannels. A lot of flannel. I grinned at him.

"I'm done. If I rip them or something we'll come back. Look what I found!" He held up a Guns'n'Roses t-shirt. He was excited, and happy. I grinned bigger and grabbed for it, on my tippy toes hopping, trying to grab it from his grasp. He held it over my head and said "NO! It's mine."

I giggled and clapped. "Yay! You found you converse." I wiggled my shoes in front of his face.

"My precious!" I said like that thing from lord of the rings, making his face and eyes light up. "You didnt get shoes. Not that I dont like your boots but you might want a backup pair. I found these." I held up the black cowboy boots that were in my other hand. His jaw dropped and he grabbed them. I smiled.

"I had a pair like this once..before I met her..She didnt like them, never said anything but didn't like them. I stopped wearing them, she knew more about clothes the I did."

"Well now you have them back. Come on let's go."

We checked out and the shock on Jasper's face that his total for the entire new wardrobe was under sixty dollars was priceless. Mine was a little less than thirty.

We brought our bags back to he truck.

"See Jasper, painless. Now you're not bloody, you have back up clothes,cowboy boots. All the things a growing vampire boy needs." I smiled. He chuckled."What would you like to do now? It's still early." I checked my phone then.

It was noon.

I cursed. "I forgot to call in to work today." I'll called in the and told Mrs. Newton I had the stomach flu. She said that it was no problem and to blah blah.

"Slightly better at lying, but stop saying um. " I rolled my eyes.

"Would you like lunch now? I know you breathers need that."

"And I know you sparklies eat me for lunch, I don't point it out like that all the time."He grinned at me as we walked.

Today was a good day. We spent the day in Port Angeles. We shopped for drawing tablets, pencils and books. We people watched, made comments to each other about said people. Giggled, smiled and had no stress. It was something we both needed. It felt like this would be the last for a while. A sense of doom loomed over me. We had to discuss things way more serious. I had to help heal him. We had to deal with Jacob and the pack, which I'm sure wouldn't be welcoming. We had to deal with Victoria.

Why was I saying we so much?

Chapter Ten

Scary Stories

Jasper stashed his things in my closet. He was now drawing in the corner on the floor with my headphones in his ears. I was on my bed finishing up my homework. I smiled at him, he wasn't paying me any attention though. He loved to draw. He didn't share his drawings either. I have been just as private about what I drew. They really weren't any good, and more of just a collection of thoughts poured onto the paper.

I couldn't help but reflect on the past in this moment. He was so different. He didnt judge me or criticize. He didn't help me with my homework. I wasn't a child I didn't need it. It always offended and distracted me when Edward helped. He didnt crowd me. He didn't poke me with questions every two minutes. It was easy. I knew I would become very close to Jasper in this moment. I barely knew him now but it felt like I had known him all my life. Truthfully, I knew more about Jasper than most did.

I got the feeling he didn't say the things he didn't act the way did with me around other people. Jasper, in public, and in the pressence of Jacob was not that Jasper I had spent the day with or was now staring thoughtfully at. Sense I was reflecting the past I looked back on all the time I had seen Jasper. He was cast into the corner. Watching, reading or looking out the window. At times he looked as if he wanted to be anywhere but there. I thought then that it was about me. That my smell of my blood rushing threw my veins was hurting him. The temptation too much for him. But here he was, in my room, breathing completely fine.

He looked stiff and smiled forcefully. The only time he looked at peace was when Alice was at his side. The way he looked at her...So much love. So much care. He adored that little pixie. I sighed. I then realized I that it was a little inapproitate to openly gawk at someone. My cheeks went red and I quickly looked down to my homework.

Tap!

My head spun to the window. I ran to it and looked down. A shirtless Jacob with his arms crossed and a stern look on his face greeted me. Why did I surround myself with boys that acted like they were my father? I turned around to face Jasper and jumped as he was already directly behind me. My face mere inches from his.

"Sorry darlin', I'll go down." He opened the window as he was talking.

"Bring me down with you." He looked back at me and nodded. His arms snaked around my waist then everything was a blur and we were suddenly on the ground. My feet weren't yet though. He slowly lowered me to my feet and made sure I was stable.

"So does Charlie know he's got a dude living in his daughter's room?"

"Shut it Jacob, you know that would just cause issues, it's better no one knows he's around. What did Sam say?"

"He said it would be fine for your bloodsucker to come over the treaty line," He pointedly looked at Jasper then. "Only when she's here."

"How much experience do you have with vampires Jacob?" Jasper said.

"We took down the leech that tried to get Bella pretty easily. Why?"

"Just wondering is all. I'll be making patrols of Forks, mostly around Bella's house."

"So have you decided on how long you're visiting?"

"No, I haven't, but I know for one thing I'm here as long as that she is. No matter if Bella wants me or not. After that all taken care of, it's all up to Bella." His voice was just ever so slight hostel, his body stiff arms behind his back, posture perfect. "As I've already explained."He said the last sentence slowly as if he was talking to a small child.

I couldn't help but giggle slightly. Jacob glared and his frame shook slightly. Bad move on my part.

"Jacob calm down. If you werent being such an ass, he'd more than likely be less of one, too." Jasper smirked at that.

With a sigh Jacob said"Bella...Sam also told me to tell you something. As long as he's here..as long as your still conversing with vampires...You can't come back on to the reservation."

His words cut like a knife. I never liked that bastard. No, he wouldnt hurt me. No one would hurt me. Fury swam through my bloodstream like posion.

How could Jacob say this to me? How could he stand for it?

"What? Am I hearing you right? Your telling me I cant come back to La Push because of the friends I keep? That Sam," I said his name like it was the dirtiest word imaginable, even to my self I sounded like I was hurt, and it only made me angrier.."told you, my best friend, my brother, that I can't come back to the place that's my second home? What about Emily? His soon to be wife, that wanted me to be a bridesmaid. Seth? Leah? Sue? Claire, Embry, Quil? How will I see them?"

He was about to talk but I interrupted him. "How could you allow that Jacob? Your the true alpha and you know it! Your great father-"

"BELLA! Let me talk." I glared at him, a shiver running over me, my body shaking, my neck and chest get red. "You need to decide. I thought you had but as soon as one of them comes strutting back into your life you completely switch. I had hope that you'd get mad once you got that letter, that once you'd seen him it'd be finally over. That you'd move on. But no, you invited the monster to live with you. " He took a step closer, his body was shaking more. "You have to decide between us and them. Between me and him." He jabbed a finger in the direction of Jasper then.

"Calm down dog. Your hurting her." Jasper growled out. I glanced at Jasper who was completely still, staring at Jacob, no doubt throwing a cocktail of calm at him, that I had no intention of letting run over me.

"No." I spoke it final, and strong. "If you want to make me decide, then I guess you've decided for me." I took a step back shaking my head at him.

"Bella, Bells, dont be so dramatic!" His voice turned pleading then. I didnt say a single word.

"I think she wants you to go now."

"Dont you speak for her leech!"

"Do not call him that. He was a name."

"Bella they left you! And that one! He was the reason! How are you being so blind? If you can disclose that there natural killers, my natural enemy, how can you ignore how they abandoned you?"

"Don't you dare blame him for anything. This is my life Jacob. My issues, my problems. I ca take care of myself. You need to go now. You've lied to me! You said you understood, you'd let me live my life. What a joke! I knew it was too good to be true. "

"Leave now." Jasper spoke deathly silent, yet extremely loud in the silence that had fallen after my words.

His eyes were jet black his body was in a partial crouch, somehow he had angled me behind him without me even realising. My anger, my fury was effecting Jasper. He had told me how strong my emotions could be too him, I needed to calm down for him. He couldn't act harshly toward Jacob.

"Jasper...breath. Calm down." I calmed myself then, I centered myself completely ignoring the dog a few feet away. I used my creepy skill of pushing my thoughts of good things at him again. It wasn't easy, centering yourself when you were so, so mad. So betrayed. But I could and I did, I couldn't let Jasper become the victim of someone esles' emotions.

Slowly, he stood from his crouch, his breathing started up again.

"I dont want to see you outside her house again. Consider the Cullens back. This is my territory now. Don't come unless your invited. "

I felt the fear he was pushing at Jacob then. Jacob slowly backed away from us, his frame was shaking and his hand were up in somewhat surrender. As if trying to get away from a bear while hiking.

"Oh, and forget it about me going over the treaty line. Try your hardest to get her on your own. Your people have no meaning to me. I only protect the girl, I warn you though, visitors will be assisting me. " His tone was dark, lethal and calm. His eyes the deepest black I had ever seen.

Someone helping? Who? Fear crepted into me. Please not the Cullens. Please.

"Bella calm down, I will explain." He glanced at me, his eyes lightening, one side of his mouth crinkled up into a lop-sided grin.

Jacob was gone effectively turning running and phasing, the tear of clothing and heavy footprints hitting the ground. Suddenly Jasper grabbed me and flew back up the house and into my bedroom.

"How long till you graduate Bella?" He asked.

"Two and half weeks now." I replied.

"Bella, we need to leave once you graduate. You can't stay here. Tell your father you want to travel or something."

"He already knows that, it's my plan. I dont know what I wanted to do after..."I trailed off then. Jasper was no longer in the room. The door creaked then I heard the sound of it being shut, I whirled around. Jasper made his reappearance.

He had the day's paper in his hands. "Look." He threw the folds of heavy printing at me.

The headline read Serial Killer in Seattle?

The missing persons, apparently now they thought the missing people was the acts of a serial killer. "Vampires Bella. Alot of them. They've found bodies too. What's left of them. There messy, not even properly disposing of the bodies. Only points to one option. Newborns. "

"Newborns?"

"Right after we're reborn into this life, we're the most uncontrollable, the most thirsty and the strongest we will ever be in our immortal life. We call them newborns. Looks like Vicky is making an army.."

"An army of newborns? How do you know?"

"Bella..I think it's time I've told you my past. "

I swallowed. I knew it was different. He mentioned his scars so I knew it was violent.

He took a deep breath. "I was born Jasper Monroe Whitlock in 1842, in a little town outside of Houston, Texas. I had three sisters and a younger brother. I dont remember their names anymore. My father owned a plantation, he earned it not inherited. We had slaves but they were paid well and we didnt have many. I still thought it was the right thing to do in joining the war. I was young when I joined. My mama didnt want me too. She begged me not too, I remember the way her voice sounded. So sad and pleading. My father was proud of me though. I wanted to make him proud. I was 17 when the war started but I was tall. They didnt say anything when I enlisted, I could always talk my way into anything. I quickly went up the ranks, I saw action but always survived. Albeit it wasnt much action. I made Major at 21. I was the youngest Major in the Confederate Army." He was smiling softly up until now."One night patrolling in 1864 I found 3 women..beautiful women, being a young man of the military it was my duty to aid them. A blonde, red-head and one of midnight hair. Nettie, Lucy and Maria. They were very far out and I was worried they would be harmed...I heard them talking about who should do it. I didnt understand but I still wanted to help.." Jasper spared me from nothing.

He told me how badly it hurt when he changed. That she gave him people to eat, how his mind was screaming at that it was wrong, but that the burning in his throat and the monster within wouldn't let him stop. He told me of how his first kill was a woman and how she haunts him. How she was merely seventeen. He told me of how she, Maria, twisted his mind into believing this was right. How she made him kill and turn vampires just to gain more land to hunt on. He told me of depressed he became. He told me of Peter and Charlotte. How he let them go because he was baffled at the emotion they shared. How they came back for him a year later. He ended the story with explaining what they were like.

"Peter...He's such a smartass. Silly little freak that one. You'd love him. Charlotte or Charlie, oh you remind me of her. Full of piss and vinegar. They found me after...tried to help. Didnt work much. I was thinking on calling them, to help me patrol the area and keep you safe." I nodded. I had stayed silent through out his story. He was looking at me. Studying me like I was a science experiment.

"Why arent you frightened Bella?"

"Why would I be? You didnt know any different Jasper. And even then you wanted a way out of that life. I'm proud to know you Jasper. For you to be standing after all the hell you've been through. Jasper, you're the strongest person I know. " He shook his head and stared into my eyes.

"Isabella how you keep surprising me." I stared back at him. I had such respect for the man in front of me.

"Jasper...If you got over that. You cant let...her..Alice destroy you."

"I know. I truley do know that, but how? I have nothing.. I just.. I'm not good at being alone. I can't be the third wheel with Peter and Charlie. You saw me earlier I didnt even know what to do in a store. I'm not supposed to be like this. I'm a badass vampire, a war criminal, that's feared when I'm looked at. " He stood up then and put his arm under my lamp.

I walked over a studied his arm. Hundred of crescent shaped moon's covered his arm like the one on my wrist. "Even if I did want to find someone, who would want me? Did you know Alice only wanted me to wear long sleeves shirts? That she barely touched me?"

"Your scars Jasper, they define you, it's true. But they just show your past, where you've been. They are a road map. Just like mine." I took off my flannel and began to point every scar on my arms and the story behind them. This went on for hours. Me telling stories of my scars, Jasper laughing and commenting on my clumsy-ness.

Then, he began to speak thoughtfully. "It was raining Philadelphia, it was 1948. It would be a little strange of me to stand in the rain. I was trying to gain control over my bloodlust by entering the human population everyday. I walked into a dinner, to seem more normal, thats when I saw her. Of course she told me I was late, I didn't know what the hell she meant but I said sorry ma'am. She giggled and held out her hand. The first near century of my life, was a near constant emotional climate of hate, or lust in some form or another. For the very first time, I felt hope. She was adorable, sweet and kind. I didn't care how she treated me, or who she introduced me too, what she made me eat, and where. She was my hope. Hope for something better, a sense of belonging. I never got my belonging though. Just hope for it."He looked at me now, staring into his eyes I saw the pools of venom that would never fall.

"I feel like I belong here, within your presence Bella, in a way that I never, ever had with Alice. For that I thank you, and I promise you. I will let nothing or anyone hurt you in any way."

I felt hot streaks flowing down my cheeks, I was crying, I hadn't noticed. My fingers whipped at them roughly before, without a single notion of caution, I threw myself at him. Tightly wrapping my arms around his cold shoulders. His hands slowly slid around my waist, holding me a little too tightly but I didn't care.

"You will always have a place with me Jasper." I whispered into his chest.

Our night went on at a good pace. I let Jasper have the soapbox for tonight. My cheeks hurt to much as I listened to Jasper ranting about how Alice treated him. All the clothing she had forced him into, what she made him go too. He was openly saying her name. He was talking. He was annoyed. He was angry. Anger was a good emotion when used in the right way. I couldn't have been happier in this moment.