.asshat fanfiction. i had this all nice re-typed it in the document manager, and then I went to save it and it decided to delete it allllll. sorry for any spelling errors/missing words/etc etc. I don't have a beta. If I get enough readers and decide to keep up this story, then I'll probably find someone to beta the story.
In the crazy world
Anything can happen
If you will it to
I'm just a hazy girl
Blurring all the edges
Only seeing blue
"Wild Hope" Mandy Moore
After receiving only two hours and twenty minutes of sleep, Edward's alarm clock began buzzing in attempt to wake him and Bella up. Groaning in protest, Edward opened his eyes but then shut them almost immediately. Eventually, the buzzing became too annoying for his taste and he opened his eyes. He quickly sat up and punched his alarm clock, getting it to stop buzzing. Rubbing his eyes like a sleepy child, he stretched his arms out and looked at Bella, who was still asleep--snoring lightly--and curled into a tight ball. He chuckled to himself at how little she looked while she slept, so innocent.
Standing up from his side of the bed, he walked over to his window and opened the curtains. It looked as if it was going to be a typical day in the life of someone who lived in Forks their entire life. Rainy and terribly gloomy. A bit of lightening struck in the distance and he rolled his eyes. Couldn't it be nice outside? Just for once? He looked at Bella once more before deciding it would be appropriate to let her sleep in a few more minutes while he got his shower.
Walking over to his closet, he reached to open the door but instead stopped short, seeing a piece of light yellow paper tapped to the door. He opened it up with a sigh and read the girlish handwriting.
Edward,
Since I'm assuming Bella stayed the night, I left a bag of clothes for her in your closet. There's also a new outfit for you. If you don't wear it, your piano gets it.
Hugs and kisses,
Alice.
Rolling his eyes, Edward opened to the door to his closet--earning a creek in response, he darted his eyes to Bella's form on the bed to make sure she hadn't woken up yet. Of course, she hadn't. He reached into his closet and pulled out a very large plastic bag with the word Express written on the side of it. Peaking into the bag he groaned, this one was his new outfit for school: a pair of dark grey dress pants and a blue and white button up shirt, like one he already has. "Stupid pixie," he muttered to himself softly as he sat the bag down on the floor and walked towards the bathroom door to get ready.
Within twenty minutes, Edward was clean and dressed, ready for his day. Well, as ready as anyone could be on the first day of school. He honestly didn't get the first day of school, it was always the same thing: a half day of classes, girls screeching to each other from across the hallway as if they hadn't seen each other in years, when in reality they probably saw each other less than twenty fours before, teachers lecturing you on how you must behave this year and what materials you would need. If Edward could skip one day the entire year, this would be it.
"Bella?" Edward said softly as he sat on her side of the bed and nudged her gently with his arm. He chuckled when she groaned and rolled away from him, now taking up the entire bed. "Bella," he said again, playfully yanking a piece of her dark hair, causing her to slap him rather hardly on the arm. "Bella, get up!" he shouted this time, causing Bella to bolt up from her position on the bed.
Her dark eyes darted around the room frantically, trying to place where she was. Upon figuring out she was in Edward's bedroom, she narrowed her eyes and turned to glare at Edward. "It's to early," she groaned, closing her eyes tightly and then opening them again, blinking a few more times to try to clear her vision.
"I know," Edward chuckled, playfully ruffling her already messed up hair and getting up from the bed to give her room to get up. Bella sat up slowly and stretched her tiny limbs, quickly unzipping her sweatshirt and throwing it off to the side of the bed. "Do you have anything I could wear? I could always wear one of your dress shirts, lord knows they're long enough to be a dress, and where them with a pair of tights I know I left her a couple days ago."
"Actually," Edward started as he backed away from Bella, trying to avoid the complaining he knew was to come. "Alice left a bag of clothes for us to wear today." he closed his eyes, waiting for her to punch him, kick him--something. When it didn't come, he peaked at her and noticed she was just sitting there starring towards his closet.
"Over there?" Bella asked with a yawn as she pointed towards the closet. Edward nodded and Bella walked over to the bag, peaking in it and groaning. "Heels? Really? As if I don't have enough problems walking in tennis shoes. Let's throw some heels on me!" tossing the bag to the floor, she began pulling her shirt over her head and tossing it by her sweatshirt.
Bella reached into the bag again and pulled out the pale blue button up sweater that Alice put in there. Pulling it over her arms, she slipped it on and began buttoning it. Looking at herself in the mirror she frowned, "Gee, is this tight enough?" she asked to herself, noting how tight the sweater stretched across her breasts. She had to admit, though, it looked good on her. And it would look even better with the dark wash skinny jeans Alice picked out for it. It would even look good with those damn pumps Alice insisted on her wearing.
Edward just stared at her and cleared his throat as he shook his head. "Um. Maybe...you should go get...your shower?" he finally managed to croak out, earning a smirk from Bella who walked over to him and kissed his cheek. "Mkay," she said as she picked up the bag and skipped into the bathroom, much like how Alice would've done. Over her shoulder she called, "If I'm not out in twenty minutes, I passed out 'cause it's too early."
Running a hand nervously through his messy bronze hair, Edward decided to go downstairs and fix some coffee for him and Bella. Because, while Bella seemed to be in a good mood now, he knew that once she reached the school's parking lot: she'd be in a terrible mood. And Bad-mood-Bella only had one cure: a nice cup of coffee. Edward quickly made his way down the staircase and walked into the kitchen. He put on a pot of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table with a yawn. "I really need to start getting more sleep," he mumbled to himself as he placed his head on the table, resting for a moment.
Edward was just about ready to fall back asleep when he heard the clunking of shoes heading down his stairs. He looked up to see Bella clutching on to the railing for dear life as she made her way slowly down the stairs. Edward couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of his clumsy best friend trying to walk in heels. "Problems, Bella?" he asked as he walked over to one of the cabnits to grab two coffee mugs. Putting himself to work, he poured to cups full of coffee and put a lot of cream and sugar in Bella's.
"Here," he said, pushing Bella's cup of coffee across the table when she sat down. "You look like you're going to need this."
"Thank you," Bella said lightly as she took a gulp from her cup, nearly dropping it on the table after she realized how hot it was. She stuck her tongue out and began fanning it.
"Bella," Edward chuckled, shaking his head. "That's not going to help it."
"Shut up," Bella responded, running her teeth down her tongue and causing Edward to raise his eyebrows.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm not sure," Bella said, crinkling her nose and giggling. Leaning her elbows on the table she asked, "So when are Papa and Mama Cullen coming back to the homestead?"
Edward shrugged. "I'm assuming next Friday,"
Edward's parents were always traveling, thanks to Edward's father, Carlisle Cullen's, line of work. Currently he was teaching some classes at UCLA (lucky son of a bitch) and took Esme with him. Since they only left a week ago, they decided it would be best for Edward to stay in Forks and start school on time.
Bella nodded and sighed. "I so don't feel like going to school today."
"Me either," Edward said, rolling his eyes. "Do you think we should leave early or at the last possible minute?" Please say last possible minute...
"Probably early," Bella groaned. "I'd much rather go at the last possible minute, but you know Alice. She'll want us to make our 'entrance' as a group."
"Stupid pixie," they both cursed their friend at the same time, before joining each other in laughter. Edward was just about ready to say something when his door bell rang, followed by several knocks.
"Oh boy," Bella sighed, rolling her eyes. "Whoever could that be?"
Edward chuckled as he purposely took one more slow drink of his coffee and stood up, walking slower to the door. Bella followed close behind him. Just as he unlocked the door, it swung open, both Edward and Bella barely dodging it. On Edward's porch was, Alice, who was holding a box of donuts, Jasper who looked as if he hadn't slept. Emmett, who looked relatively normal and Rosalie who looked downright pissed. "Good morning, Edward, Bella!" Alice chirped as she walked past them and into the living room.
Alice beamed at Bella before saying, "Oh, Bella! You wore what I put out for you! I'm so proud of you!"
"Do I get an award for that?" Bella said sarcastically and watched as Alice's face fell. She quickly smiled and said, "I look pretty hot, don't I?"
"Sure do, Bells." Jasper said as he walked over to the box of donuts and took a chocolate one out, immediately taking a bite out of it and earning a look of disaprovel from Alice. "What?" he asked, letting crumbs of chocolate fall onto his pink and white striped shirt. It was almost identical to Edward's, just in pink and it's stripes were thicker. Edward wondered if Alice dressed him too.
"Jazzy," Alice said lightly as she reached up and brushed the crumbs off his shirt. "What did I tell you on the way here?"
"That school fucking sucks?" Jasper guessed.
Alice laughed softly, sounding like bells. "No, silly, after that."
Jasper shrugged, "I don't remember. I'm hardly awake, so..."
"Well, Jasper, what I said was," Alice started off calmly and then raised her voice. "That shirt cost nearly two hundred dollars, be careful with it or I'll chop your dick off."
Jasper's mouth dropped open and Alice smirked in victory.
"How are you feeling this morning, Emmett?" Bella asked Emmett sweetly, turning her head in his direction to try and get the spotlight off of Jasper and Alice. Emmett groaned in response and walked over to Bella's cup of coffee, taking a drink of it. Bella walked over to him, nearly tripping on her heels, and snatched the cup from his hands, hitting his chest.
"That would be mine, Emmett." Bella said, looking into the cup and seeing that he downed a good portion of her coffee. She glared at him before placing the cup back on the table and saying, "Remind me, why am I friends with you?" sarcastically.
"Because you love me," Emmett flashed a weak smile and then laughed. "And, I feel like a truck ran me over."
"How cute," Rosalie said, making her presence finally known. She raised a perfectly waxed eyebrow and said, "So, are we going to leave or not?"
"We'll leave faster than you did with Jacob last night," Edward chuckled as he grabbed his car keys from the table and walked over to where his backpack was hanging.
Alice smiled and reached into her over-sized tote bag. "Oh, Bella, I forgot. I got you something so much cuter than your backpack to carry books around in!" Alice pulled out a medium sized white quilted Chanel bag and tossed it at Bella, who rolled her eyes.
"Alice, I can't take this. It cost way to much money--"
"Take it or else your Jane Austen collection might go missing." Alice smirked after a moment of silence and watched as Bella slipped her cell phone and i-Pod into the bag with a pout.
"Let's go!" Rosalie barked as she stormed out of Edward's house and got into her car. The other's just stood there laughing amongst themselves until she honked her horn impatiently, causing all of them to jump and go out the door. Once they were all in the proper vehicles, they drove off to the high school.
It was a pretty short drive and soon they reached the already packed parking lot. They quickly found three parking spots in the same row and pulled in. Edward and Bella rode together in Edward's ever-present silver Volvo, while the rest split up between Rosalie and Alice's cars. Bella quickly unbuckled her seat belt as Edward parked the car, and was about ready to get out when Edward said, "Tsk, tsk, you know I open the car door for you."
"Tsk, tsk," Bella mimicked as Edward childishly stuck his tongue out at her. Soon enough, Edward was at Bella's door, opening it. "Thank you kind sir," Bella giggled as she did a curtsy.
"Your welcome, fare maiden." Edward played along, tipping an imaginary hat.
The others had gathered towards Edward's car, casually leaning against it with Bella and Edward noticing it. "Boy," Edward said sarcastically as he joined his friends. "You guys sure don't waste any time."
"Damn straight," Jasper nodded as he took out a pack of cigarettes. "Keep a watch so I don't get in trouble," he asked Alice as he took out his pale grey lighter. Alice reached up and knocked it out of his hands. "You're not smoking that here. I don't feel like bailing you out of trouble on the first day."
Jasper groaned and rolled his eyes. "Oh, Edward, it looks like you've got a fan-girl coming towards you." He said in a sing-a-song voice.
"Shit," Edward grumbled as he noticed Lauren walking, or trying to sashay, towards them. "Oh look, Alice, you've got one too."
"A fan girl?" Alice asked confused, before turning her head to see Mike walking towards them also. "Damnit,"
"Hey, Edward." Lauren purred as she brought her hand up to run it through Edward's hair. "It's good to see you. How was your summer?"
Edward stared at her as if she were a piece of gum on his shoe and cleared his throat. "It was, ah, fine...Lauren."
"That's good," Lauren smiled as she placed a kiss on Edward's cheek. "You know, if you want...I can make your summer a whole lot better. It isn't officially over for fifteen minutes."
Edward's nostrils flared and he shot a frantic look at his friends. "You aren't needed here, Lauren." Bella said sharply as she placed a hand on Edward's wrist. "Go along now, I'm sure there's some freshmen you haven't fucked yet."
"Oh, like you're one to talk." Lauren sneered.
Rosalie smiled warmly at Lauren and stepped over to her. "Oh, Lauren, did you dye your hair?" she asked, picking at a piece of Lauren's white-blond hair.
"I did, actually." Lauren beamed, petting it as if it were the worlds finest fur. "Do you like it?"
Rosalie's smile never left her face. "Not at all, actually. It totally doesn't mesh with your fake-ass tan."
Lauren's face looked shocked for a minute, but she covered it up quickly. "My mother says it looks great with my skin tone."
"Doesn't your mother have bright red hair, a bad perm and constantly wear poodle skirts?" Alice asked, wrinkling her nose in disgust.
"I--you." Lauren stuttered and widened her eyes.
"Oh poor dear," Rosalie said, yanking a piece of Lauren's hair rather harshly. "You should really change your hair or something."
"Or something," Bella and Alice echoed sweetly, offering a smile as Lauren huffed and stomped off towards the school, not unlike she had done last night.
Mike took this moment to clear his throat. "Hey, Alice. I brought you some coffee," he said, reaching his hand out towards Alice with a cup of coffee from the diner.
Alice cleared her throat nervously and darted her eyes between her friends before taking the coffee. "Ah, thanks...Mike."
"No problem," Mike offered an eager smile before asking. "So, I was wondering--Jess and Tyler want to go to Port Angeles to see that new movie. Ah, what's it called? Adventureland? I...well, I wanted to see if maybe...you were in."
"I--"Alice said, clearing her throat again and smiling sadly. "That's really nice of you Mike...but, I don't think...I'm...I kind of have plans already tonight."
Mike's face immediately fell and he said, "Oh...that's alright. Maybe another time?"
"Maybe," Alice said sweetly, causing Mike to beam as he walked away.
Rosalie smirked. "And what's that about, Miss Brandon? Do you like Mike Newton?"
"No," Alice answered quickly before taking in a deep breath. "I don't know," and shrugging. "I mean he's nice...and believe it or not, I did have fun with him last night. It's just...oh, I don't know. I think--I think that...I might like someone else."
Emmett pretended to act flattered, "Oh, tinkerbell, I didn't know you thought about me like that."
Alice rolled her eyes. "Oh come on Emmett, you know I only have eyes for you." she chuckled as she played along.
"I always knew there was something different about your friendship," Jacob smirked as he stopped in front of them, Quil and Embry in toe like the good little sidekicks they are. Jacob was quick to drape his arm over Bella's shoulder and roll his eyes as she stiffened beneath him. "How are you on this lovely evening Bells?"
"It's morning, Jacob," Bella said, rolling her eyes as she shook his arm off her shoulder. "Quil, Embry." she nodded at the other tall boys, who both smiled in return. Quil gave a half wave, but quickly put his hand in his jeans pocket.
"So...Bella," Jacob said, drawing a line up and down her arm with one of his fingers. "Did you want to, maybe hang out tonight? My dad's going to your place..." he leaned down and placed a little kiss on her neck, causing her to shiver from the contact. Beside them, Rosalie's face was turning bright red and she cleared her throat.
"Damnit," Rosalie muttered as she clutched her tote bag. "Get a room, you too."
"Now, Rosie, there's no need to be jealous." Jacob said sweetly and winked at her.
Rosalie groaned and rolled her violet eyes, stomping away to the school. "Fuck you, Jacob Black." she said, flicking him off over her shoulder.
"Been there, done that." Jacob responded evenly, pushing a piece of Bella's hair out of her eyes. "So. Tonight?"
Bella batted her eyelashes. "Nope."
"Fine," Jacob groaned, rolling his eyes. "I'll just come to your place."
"Well, good luck with that." Bella smirked. "Because I'm not going to be home tonight."
Jacob shrugged and turned to Embry and Quil. "Cheer-leading practice is probably still going on in the gym, right?"
"Probably," Embry shrugged, smiling at Jacob.
Jacob turned back towards everyone and said, "Well, we're off to go sexually harass some cheerleaders."
"Perv." Bella said smiling at Jacob, who winked in return. The three tall boys walked away, making their way towards the school and disapearing into the building. But, just as they walked in the school, the warning bell rang, warning everyone that they had seven minutes to get to their homeroom classes for schedules and such.
"Well, I'm off." Alice chirped, practically skipping away and smiling at Jessica Stanley, who walked over to her, probably complimenting her outfit or something.
Emmett added, "Yeah. Me too. I'll see you guys in a few hours."
"For sure," Jasper drawled, walking towards the building not so long after Emmett. Jasper always had been terrible at goodbyes, unless he'd been drinking.
Bella frowned. "I guess we should probably go, then."
"Probably," Edward responded as they walked towards the front doors. "I'll walk you to your homeroom."
"Edward, no." Bella said evenly. "Your homeroom is pretty far from mine. I don't want to make you walk with me."
Edward rolled his eyes and placed his arm over her shoulder, pulling her to his side. "Yeah, I think I'm going to walk you anyway."
"Fine," Bella said snuggling into his side as they walked the halls, earning several glances in their direction."Everyone is starring."
"I noticed," Edward smirked and shrugged lazily. "You'd think they'd get used to me and you walking like this."
"You'd think," Bella echoed as they stopped in front of her classroom. "I'll see you in a few hours."
"See ya," Edward waved as he walked away from Bella's homeroom at a fast pace so he wouldn't get in trouble for being tardy on the first day.