A/N: this is the last chapter of prep, you guys, I swear. Trust me, there is a lot of prep that goes into a trip like this, and plus I had to establish all kinds of character development stuff, blah blah blah… you'll see when you read it. And in this chapter you finally find out what the title of the fic means! Exciting stuff. So please remember to read, review, and enjoy!

"So, Big Tuna, how do you feel about abandoning your troops after only a month of working here?" Andy interrogates me with wide, piercing eyes. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'll break down from the guilt of leaving them and he'll try to weasel his way into my job, but that's not happening.

I look at him with a smirk on my face, "Well, I put the paperwork through for a vacation before I transferred branches, so I don't feel too bad about it…"

He nods at me knowingly, "I see how it is. You're one of those guys, aren't you?"

"What guys?"

"Andy, leave him alone," Karen reprimands him with a scowl, but he brushes her off.

He leans in and tells me, "You're one of those lone wolves. You act like you don't care what anybody thinks, and so you do your own thang. Like with this vacation. You're going to Ghana cause you think it's all cool and global to go somewhere where no one else has ever gone before."

I shake my head, "I assure you, Andy, that is not the reason." I pause for a second and think about the real reason I'm going so far away, and then I snap back into the moment, "And I'm pretty sure other people have been there before me. In fact, I'm pretty sure lots of people actually live there…"

"Whatever, man." He turns back around and gets back to his work, and I stare out the window at the bay, my thoughts occupied with the fact that Stamford doesn't feel quite far away enough yet. She's getting married in three days, and with each passing day, the urge to get the hell out of here—out of the northeast, out of the U.S.—grows more and more.

Out of everything I'm feeling though—grief, embarrassment, misery—the one I feel the most consumed by is helplessness. I put it all on the line and told her I loved her, and that still didn't change the fact that she was going to marry Roy. Confessing my feelings didn't do a damn thing, and it made me feel worthless. I even kissed her, but not even that seemed to matter to her. She thought I was drunk. I thought I had told her before that I didn't have lowered inhibitions when I was drunk. I did it completely in my right mind, exposing my entire self to her, and she still shot me down. That made me not want to care about her as much.

It made the transfer that much easier though. I called Jan the next day and had her speed up the process so I could be out of there and away from her as soon as possible. I could hardly look at her as I packed up my desk with Michael lying on the floor, bawling his eyes out. He made me hug everyone goodbye, and when it came to her turn, I had to make it quick or else I'd lose it in front of everyone, or worse, I'd feel the urge to kiss her again. She barely had her arms around me before I was letting go.

That wasn't the note I wanted to leave things on, but it was just too painful to end it any other way. The worst thing is that part of me still wants to go back for her—like storm in on the wedding and yell 'I object!' or something… but I just don't feel like it'll do any good. I'd only end up making a bigger ass of myself, and I doubt her answer to me would change anyway.

I'm trying not to think about it now. I'm trying to think of new beginnings, like with my trip. I think it'll help me get out of my own little world, out my own little bubble, and will put this whole damned thing in perspective. That's what I'm hoping, anyway.

I look at the clock and realize it's only 11:30, and so I sigh and get back to wrapping up some paperwork. I won't be able to get to the internet for the next ten days, so I may as well try to finish whatever I need to before I go. I hear Andy start to sing, softly at first, but as the a cappella rhythm grows, I recognize it:

Da-da, da-da, da-da-da daa…

I smile slightly and shake my head. It amazes me how Andy knows every song for the right occasion. Even if he doesn't really know it yet, he's singing the anthem of my trip:

It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you,

There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do…

I bless the rains down in Africa;

Gonna take some time to do the things we never had…

With one final aching thought of dragging myself away from Pam, I dive back into my work and hope the hours pass quickly.

………………………………………………….

Passport? Check.

Vaccination card? Check.

Plane tickets? Bug spray? Cash? Check. Man, this is a lot of stuff to pack. I didn't realize there would be so much; my duffel bag is packed to the brim. My plane leaves in three hours, so I'm doing the final check around my apartment to see if I forgot anything. It's a good thing I am, because I just found my razor in my bathroom. I zip up my bag and am ready to head out when I feel my cell phone vibrating in my pocket. Probably my reminder I set to turn it off and leave it here; not like I can use it in Africa.

Pam's Cell.

What? Why is she calling? Doesn't she realize I'm leaving? Like, so I can try to forget about her and move on? And it's two days before her wedding; shouldn't she be getting ready for that, or having a bachelorette party or something? I look down at my phone again as these thought race through my head and then make up my mind about whether to answer or not.

She broke my heart, and so now it's time for her to feel some remorse. As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing she can say to make me change my mind. I don't know if she realizes this, but it's useless to try and reconcile things when I'm still sore about what happened between us. And I know this might make things worse, but I am just in no mood to try and work this out now. I have a plane to catch.

With one swift movement, I open my phone and hit 'ignore.'

You know what to do!