Disclaimer: Don't own anything but my precious fanfics.

Sorry for the LONG delay in updating. Thank my dog for reminding me of my duty as a fanfic writer. Also, many thanks to all who reviewed. Anyways, enjoy this short chapter:

Chapter 3

Forever Fated To Be An Androgynous Being

Here's a tip for single guys. A way to a girl's heart is to be chivalrous. If you hold the door open for her, even if you don't know her, a gracious smile and a whispered thank you will be your reward.

However, the best way to get a girl to fall head over heels in infatuation with you is when she drops something, like one of her precious gems, or her smoldering iron, pick it up and hand it to her. Don't forget to smile. Your image will be forever imprinted into her mind. Trust me.

How do I know? First hand experience of course. That's how I first met Auron, not the legendary guardian Auron. When I was new to the group, I hadn't really thought of him as my ideal guy. I just knew him as the tall and eerily quiet legendary guardian who guarded Uncle Braska, and is guarding Yuna.

Anyways, as I was hurrying to catch with them, my precious fire gems fell from my backpack and fell to the ground. Just my luck, it was open, so everything in it went flying to the four corners of Guadosalam. Cursing my second-rate backpack, I dropped to my knees and found myself staring into the face of, who else, Auron. He helped me pick up most of the items (four of my water gems and three of my special concoctions remain missing to this day) before walking away.

I still angered the group for being too slow, and I think that I might have been able to collect everything faster if he hadn't helped, but it was the thought that counts. Since then, every time I saw him, which is like everyday, my heart does this weird fluttering thing. I used to blame it on indigestion, but it was too big a coincidence that it happened every time he was near.

Yes, I got a little obsessive. Found out his last name, where he used to live, that he was an only child, that he lived with his mother because his father had died. The works. I even found out that his favorite color is red and his favorite drink was tea. I think, for a short period of time, I would only wear clothes that were red, and bathed myself with green tea crystals…

After three weeks or so, reality struck and I realized that although he was the perfect guy for me, I was not his dream girl. Let me tell it, that revelation hurt. I guess it happened when I had finally gotten the nerve to go up to Auron and ask him for the time. Dorky, yes, wimpy, definitely, but it was a safe way to get him to talk to me, even if it was only one sentence.

So, I was walking towards him, trying to look casual, when Lulu (except I didn't know she was his girl friend back then), started talking to him. That wasn't so bad, until he put his arm around her and she started to giggle. According to Amore magazine, this was a surefire sign that they were dating, or at least wanted to date.

I just turned myself around and ran off. I didn't have any pictures of him to tear up, so I just cried in my pillow in the travel agency for awhile. Okay, so maybe I overreacted. It wasn't like he was cheating on me or anything.

Sure enough, three days later, Yuna confrmed that Auron and Lulu were boyfriend and girlfriend. Broke my heart to pieces.

Although I hated to do so, I accepted that I would never be romantically connected to Auron. I learned to control that annoying heart flutter and I learned to be more silent when thinking snide comments about Lulu (after all, she's not THAT bad).

I'm still not over him. That, at least is obvious. Sometimes, I get so emotional I feel like I just want to throw myself off a cliff and end it all. Then I realize that I'm too much of a wimp and that I'm deathly afraid of heights.

Auron's still completely oblivious to my affection, and he's only going to be here for about another 4 months before we reach Zanarkand, and find the other celestial weapons. Then, the chances of EVER seeing him again are incredibly slim.

Now I wish more than ever that I were 12 inches taller, 10 pounds lighter, two years older, and three boob sizes larger. That would get his attention...

Then again, I highly doubt that'll ever happen. At least not in the distant future. Yevon, why'd I have to be stuck in a short, overweight, preadolescent body? Why couldn't I have the body of a swimsuit model. Or at least grow some boobs? Am I fated to be an androgynous being for all eternity! Have mercy on my soul!

Okay, getting a little dramatic there. But honestly, no guy has EVER taken romantic interest in me. I'm too tomboyish, they see me as only a friend or a sister (which is even worse), they're not ready to be in a relationship, I've heard it all. All the bull-crappy excuses ever made. That's why I'm NEVER making the first move EVER again.

But I digress, back to the subject at hand. I really do like Auron, although sometimes I wonder why. I mean, sure, he was nice enough to help me pick up my precious loot and he certainly is good-looking enough, but what about his personality. He doesn't look like a social kind of person...

Which is why I have a new mission then. To capture Auron's heart before those four months are up. Mission Impossible much? I mean, first, he has to break up with Lulu. Then I have to work up the courage to talk to him. Then I have to get him to ask me out. The fact that I only have a very short time hanging out with him makes the mission even more unlikely to be successful. Well, where there's a will, there's a way. I mean what have I got to lose… except my pride, dignity, self-esteem… but those aren't that important to me.

I'll have to make a complicated plan with all the works, put myself on a diet, buy some of those "grow taller" pills, get a push up bra, and work on my flirting skills. Not so hard... right?

Now all I have to do is survive Mt. Gagazet, in my, ahem, outfit…

Yeah, to clear things up, Rikku is NOT fat. She, being a teenager and possesing low self-esteem thinks that she's fat. She kind of wants to be like those anorexic supermodes or something. Yeah, so that "lose 10 pounds" thing was just a play on her insecurity. Nothing else. I do NOT think that Rikku is even CLOSE to overweight!

Sorry if that was really lame and really short, but I haven't updated in SUCH a long time, but I don't really know what's gonna happen. Some Syemour drama more like. So, how'd you like this incredibly pointless and short chapter? It was inspired by a true story.

Yeah, anyways, time to thank the faithful reviewers. I WUV you ALL!