Ah hello, i think i will up the rating for violence in the next few chapters. Not so much this one though. The horseman is soon to go through a midlife crisis! But if you like it you must review or i will not bother. on that happy note....

Same discalaimer:

Chapter three: Life as a Headless Horseman:

After the interview, the Horseman was actually feeling rather good about himself. He had always wanted to exasperate people to the point where they pulled their hair out. He had succeeded. The horseman decided to enjoy the life he had always wanted, a headless one...

In between trying out for movie after movie, he went on dates, aggravating the poor ladies so, that one even chopped her own head off with the bread knife at the dinner table. Oh my. The horseman was thoroughly delighted. But her will was not as strong as the Horseman, she couldn't actually breathe without a head, so she kind of died.

Finally Tim Burton, being the kind and generous person he was, decided to give the Horseman another chance at acting, only if he could learn to get along with the other actors and crewmembers. The Horseman agreed to the terms, for he was ready to get back into the spotlight.

But what Tim didn't tell him was that he only had a small role...so small that all he did was show up in the background, comprehensively confusing moviegoers. I mean wouldn't you be a bit shocked if the characters, Laura and Micheal were professing their undying love...and then you see a headless guy in the background buying a premium ice-cream cookie sandwich from the ice-cream man for $1.20? I would be.

The horseman was enraged when he went to the premiere and found that his only line in the movie (paper or plastic?) had been cut. He was so mad that he began to froth and shake like a blender...he went on a killing spree in the theatre. People were traumatized; the horseman had changed so much since his last premiere. That time he had been dancing...this time he was killing. Before long, there were many head and limbs scattered about the theatre. A few people remained, but were so hypnotized by the film that they didn't care they were sitting next to a very mangled corpse. Tim Burton, who was used to this kind of violence, totally ignored the whole scene. Well, I shouldn't say that...he decided to make a movie out of it! You see that's what we filmmakers do...we take life experiences, dramatize them....then film them! HUZZAH! A movie is born.

So Burton and Horseman contemplated and agonized over screenplays and titles for this new movie (that the horseman would star in...everyone agreed to that easily). After much forethought they decided on the simple title: "The modern day headless horseman of Needanap Density".

The horseman's generosity grew a great deal while working with Tim Burton; he decided to seek out Ms. Hastings and give her a cameo appearance in the film as his girlfriend.
When she arrived on the set, some of her hair had grown back, and her face had gone back to its original color. "Good," said the horseman, "the lady of my movie must be pretty." Ms. Hasting's soon forgave the Horseman for the trauma he had made her endure, and they were quickly on a first name basis with each other.
"So Rachel," said the Horseman, "you need to be picking apples gracefully in that far corner..." he ordered her, (he was the assistant director as well as star, assistant producer, costume designer, screenplay writer...and the list goes ever on).
"Ok Headless, kinda like this?" Said Rachel (Ms. Hastings) and she posed in her apple picking position on sound stage 101.
"Perfecto! Lets get ready for action!" Yelled the horseman.
"Ahem..."Tim Burton said huffily, "I believe that is MY line! Okay people let's get ready for action, FIVE FOUR THREE TWO ONE....." and the camera was rolling.

6 months later after a grueling 12 hour a day 6 days a week shoot, the 6 hour movie, loosely (ahem...very tightly) based on the Horseman's life was premiered. People flocked from Hong Kong to Jerusalem to see it. Twas' quite a hit.
The Horseman had started a trend, now everyone wanted to be happy and headless like him. Now, in Needanap Density (where the horseman still dwells) people are walking around headless. But tis' naught but an ordinary town! The residents wave a friendly ello' to each other as they pass on the streets and they go to the movies, thought they have a hard time paying attention.
Once, rumor has it that a strange tall gangly fellow by the name of Ichabod came into Needanap one day...he ran home and reported to his wife; (that would be me) "No, you must believe me! It was a horseman, a dead one...headless!" ::faints::
Mmmmm I will have to use my memory wiper on him.