A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews. They're much appreciated and I will try and respond to everyone I receive. This is the penultimate chapter in this story - and yes there is a bit of a cliffhanger at the end. Sorry about that. :-) Just a reminder I'm not a doctor and I'm pretty sure there are plenty of medical inaccuracies in this story (this chapter especially - no doubt) - which I apologize for.
Chapter 3
"You're better." His voice was very weak.
"Thanks to you, yes." She smiled at him. "I should go and get the doctor."
"Don't leave." His brow furrowed.
"I'll only be gone for a few seconds. The Doc's going to want to check you over; he's worked very hard to get you to where you are now." She spoke to him softly, brushing her hand over his forehead as if to try and wipe the lines away. He made no further protests so she quickly pushed her chair out into the main sickbay area. "Doc, Doctor Cottle, he's awake."
He looked up and moved to follow Starbuck back into the cubicle. "Captain Adama, it's good to see you finally awake." The Captain before him stared at him, blinking. "You've had the whole fleet extremely worried, young man. I'm just going to check you over now." His voice was gruff but there was a hint of kindness to it.
"How bad is it?" Worry tinged his still weak voice. Kara slipped her hand into his and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
"Let's just say, Captain, you've kept me quite busy over the last few days." He checked the monitors in front of him briefly and consulted the charts that contained all the information about him. "Well things seem to be improving steadily, Lee. A nurse will be in shortly to change the dressings. I should go and let your father know that you're awake." He walked out of the cubicle, leaving the two pilots alone again.
"We've all been really worried about you, Lee. You had us all really scared."
"Tell me what happened."
"What do you remember?" She stared into his eyes again, pulled back in by the blueness they held.
He said nothing for a couple of minutes as he seemed to be collecting his thoughts. "After you got sick, I felt really bad. I sat with you a while but I felt so helpless just sitting there hoping the Doc would be able to make you better. I had to do something so I went back to the planet. The reports from the marines said whatever it was that bit you had been removed from your arm. I went back to try and see if I could find whatever it was and bring it back for the doc so he could make you better. I landed the Raptor back on the planet, near where we landed the first time we went there." He paused, clearly tired from all the talking. His eyes met hers. "I retraced the steps your team had taken. I tried to work out where you'd been; the details weren't that clear in the report the marines made, so it took a lot longer to find where the creatures were than I originally intended."
"It was by the lake. There were some plants I was looking at; to see if there was any fruits that could be used by the fleet. I was stupid, I just shoved my arm into one of them without looking at it properly first. Next thing I knew was my arm was killing me. I radioed one of the marines and they found me. It kind of goes a little fuzzy after that for a while."
"I found the lake after about five hours of searching. I saw the plants you must've been looking at, but I couldn't find any of the creatures. I hunted high and low. I couldn't believe it, I was looking for one of them so it would bite me and they seemed to have disappeared." His eyes shifted away from her face and she looked over her shoulder behind her. Lee's father had just walked into the cubicle. She squeezed his hand, turning her face back to his. Emotion had clouded his face. The old man moved to the other side of the bed and reached for his son.
"Don't you ever do that to me again, Lee; I can't lose another son. You and Kara are the only family I have left and I nearly lost both of you."
"I'm sorry, dad. I had to do it."
The older man looked at his son intently and then flicked a glance quickly at Kara, "I know, son, I know." He understood. He didn't like it, but he understood. "I just popped down here to see that you were okay. I'm supposed to still be on duty in CIC. I'll be back down after my shift. We can talk more then." Lee nodded. "Get some rest, Captain."
"Yes, Sir." His father left the room leaving the two of them alone again.
"Your dad's right, you should get some sleep."
"Don't go. Can you stay here? I don't want to rest yet. Can we carry on talking? I'll rest later, I promise."
She gave him a small smile. "Okay, I'll stay but I'll hold you to that promise. So, you were telling me how you were looking for the creatures and they'd disappeared."
"The only place I hadn't looked was the lake itself. So, I looked in there as well. Eventually, after several more hours, one of the creatures bit me on the leg. You were right, it was really painful. I don't think I've ever experienced pain like it. Getting back to the Raptor seemed to take forever. It took so much effort not to remove the creature from my leg; anything to get rid of the pain. Once I was in the Raptor I took off from the planet and flew back to Galactica. Most of the journey is a blur. I think I flew most of it on pure instincts alone."
"Apparently you landed it on the flight deck perfectly. Not a scratch on the deck or the Raptor; even though you were barely conscious." The pride was evident on her face as she smiled at him tenderly.
He smiled back at her. "Maybe you're not the best pilot in the fleet after all…"
"Don't you frakking believe it!" she said, a hint of humour in her voice.
"Once I got back I don't remember much of anything until I woke up here."
The smile fell from Kara's face as she thought back to the events of the last few days. "You were so sick, Lee; sicker than I was. Your heart stopped… a lot, Cottle and his team had to work so hard just to stabilise you. It was your dad that worked out the creature was on your leg. You'd managed to say a few words to him in the Raptor before you blacked out. Once they found it, the Doc was able to remove it from your leg and some scientists in the fleet set about making an antidote for the toxin."
"I guess they managed to develop one, since we're both better." She nodded her head. He noticed her slight hesitation. "What aren't you telling me?"
"They gave the antidote they'd made to both of us. It worked well on me; I regained consciousness after a few hours." She looked down at their joined hands, hoping he wouldn't notice the tears that had suddenly welled in her eyes.
He noticed, but didn't comment on it. He squeezed her hand comfortingly. "I assume I wasn't as lucky?"
"No, no you weren't." She stumbled over the words slightly. "The antidote made you worse if anything. For some reason, it made the toxin begin to attack all of your major organs. Cottle had to operate on you over and over again." She traced fingers gently down the bandage on his torso. "That's what this is. He didn't even close the wound in the end; it saved time for when you got worse again." She didn't bother to hide the tears this time as they tumbled down her face. "They thought you were going to die. We weren't allowed to see you; we wouldn't want to remember you that way he said." She rested her forehead gently on his chest. "I forced my way in here. I was devastated by what I saw, Lee, you looked so ill. It nearly killed me to see you like that." He was staring at her, a stunned expression on his face. She looked away from his face. It was too painful for her to look at him.
"So, as I'm here now… something changed. What was it?"
"Your dad got through to me; made me wake up a bit. He managed to convince the Doc I could sit with you. You'd stabilised a little by this stage; you weren't getting better but you weren't getting any worse either. So I sat with you for a long time. Your dad and Helo were with me for some of it. They'd managed to tweak the antidote some and then gave it to you. Then we just waited for you to get better. I didn't think it was working for a long time, but everyone here seemed to be pleased with you." She lifted his hand and placed it between both of hers. "Finally you were strong enough that Cottle could operate on you and try to repair the damage that'd been done."
"Just how bad was it…?" His voice died off and as she looked once more into his eyes, she saw the fear creeping into them.
"He thinks he was able to repair the damage to your organs that'd been done by the toxin. Then he started working on the wound caused by the creature. He's not sure how well that will recover." She saw the shocked look on his face and squeezed his hand between hers again. "I'm sure you'll be fine, Lee. It's just going to take a while." She smiled at him encouragingly.
"I think maybe I'll get some rest now. I think it's all starting to catch up with me." He refused to meet her eyes as he spoke.
She knew he was pushing her away; she could understand why he was doing it. What she'd just told him had been big; it was a lot to deal with, she knew that and she was okay with it. It didn't make it hurt any less though. "Do you want me to stay here with you until you fall asleep?" she said in a small voice.
His eyes moved to hers for just a couple of seconds. "Would you?"
There was a hint of fear in his voice that melted her heart and sent a stab of pain through her. "Of course I will." She sat there holding his hand; looking into his eyes that were that joyous blue she thought she'd never see again. After just a few minutes he lost the battle to stay awake and once again they were lost to her. She stayed with him for a short while longer just to make sure he was actually asleep and then returned to her own bed to get some well earned rest.
BSG
Lee awoke a few hours later. He wasn't sure he felt any more rested than he had beforehand but then he wasn't sure he felt much of anything at the moment. The only things he could truly say he felt at the moment were guilt and worry. Guilt over having made everyone else worry about him so much and about using resources that were already in such short supply in the fleet as it was. He couldn't even begin to contemplate how many vital medicines had been used to treat him and he felt guilty about it. He was also worried; probably more worried than guilty. He was worried about how bad his injuries had been; concerned he may not recover. Not recovering was a real concern for him. If he didn't recover, then he wouldn't be able to do his job. Maybe he'd be moved to another position within the fleet; more as a mark of respect to his father than because he'd be useful there. Even worse they may decide he was of no use and then he might have to leave Galactica; leave HER. He recognised that what he was feeling was just this side of self pity and there was an iota of selfishness too so, yeah, he felt guilty about that as well.
The curtain by his feet suddenly moved to one side and Doc Cottle appeared through it. Maybe he could get some answers now. He took a deep breath but then stopped. Fear hit him smack square in the gut causing him to wince a little. The doctor noticed and raised an eyebrow. He tried again and after taking another breath was able to ask. "So, Doc, how am I really?" He couldn't keep the hint of trepidation out of his voice, much as he wanted to.
"You've definitely been testing my abilities. You gave everybody quite a scare, especially your father and a certain young Lieutenant."
He knew which Lieutenant was being referred to without asking. "Will I be able to fly again?" Again the trepidation was there, even more evident now than before.
"It's really too early to say, Lee. It's dependent on so many things." His face softened as he looked directly at Lee. "More than anything it depends on how your physio goes and how your injuries heal. I'm sorry I can't give you better news than that." Lee stared blankly at the man in front of him; his previous expressions had been replaced by a neutral mask that had slid into place as the doctor spoke. Cottle continued, "Considering how you were just a couple of days ago, I would say your condition has improved drastically." Unfortunately this did little to lift Lee's spirits; which the doctor was acutely aware of. "Would you like one of the nurses to go and get you anything?"
"No, thanks, I'm fine." Which was anything but true and they both knew it.
Cottle left the room, leaving a young man who was struggling to remain controlled in the presence of a senior officer. He quickly went back to his office and sat at his desk. He drew the file for the patient towards him and opened it at the most recent entry that he'd made. He picked up a pen and started to make notes. 'While the patient's condition has improved considerably physically, there's still some concern as to whether a full recovery will be achievable. There's also question as to the psychological effects the past couple of days and his future treatment are likely to have. It's my recommendation some sort of counselling be taken by the patient.'
Just as he was finishing writing his notes, he felt rather than heard someone enter sickbay. He looked up to see Bill Adama striding towards his office. "Commander, I was just going to call you." He noticed another person enter the room behind his senior officer. "About speaking to the president."
"Why did you want to speak to me, doctor?" Laura moved from behind Adama.
"It's partly to do with the Commander's son. The past few days have been difficult for him. Hell, they've been difficult for quite a lot of us. I think we need to try and find a counsellor to make available to speak to Lee."
"You think my son needs a shrink?" there was a hint of disdain in Adama's voice.
"I think the whole fleet could probably use one after everything the Cylon's have done to us, but yes your son needs to talk with someone."
"That's what he's got his friends and family for." Adama still wasn't buying it.
"No offence, Commander, but your son is not the most open of people. He needs to talk to someone about the last few days and the next couple of months are going to be even harder for him. If there's one thing your son is particularly good at, it's hiding his emotions; not letting people get too close; being an officer rather than a person. He won't let his friends and family see how he's really feeling and if he doesn't talk to someone, whatever recovery he does make will never be complete. There's too much going on in his head. So we need someone who's trained in this; someone who has dealt with this kind of thing before."
"I think you're right. I'll get my office directly onto it, doctor and we'll let you know as soon as we find someone."
"Thank you Madame President." The doctor looked uncomfortably at the man beside her. It wasn't often he felt unsure of himself, but now was such a time. He wasn't sure what the old man was thinking; he was just as unreadable as his son. "Do you need anything else, Commander?"
"No, that'll be all, Major. I'm going to go and see my son." He walked out of the office.
"He still doesn't like it, does he Madame President?" They both watched him walk across sickbay towards the focus of their concern.
"No. No he doesn't. But it's the right thing to do, and deep down inside, he knows that." She smiled at the doctor. "But he's an Adama; apparently they can be quite stubborn."
"That they can." He said, his face echoing her smile.
BSG
Lee wasn't surprised to see his father. He'd been expecting him to show up and knew it would be after Kara had gone. He'd been trying to prepare himself for this but knew he wasn't ready for it yet; would he ever be ready? His father was looking at him; the expression on his face was serious. Lee had the distinct impression he wasn't going to like this discussion. He sat there in silence waiting for him to say something.
"We need to talk about a few things, son." The old man finally said. He still felt out of sorts from the conversation he'd just had with the doctor. He looked at his son, trying to see what the doctor could.
"What do you want to talk about?" his voice was quiet, a touch defensive.
"About what happened recently; don't you think we should talk about it?" He wondered if his son would open up to him; or if Cottle was right and he would shut down.
"Is this a father/son talk or a Commander/Captain talk?" His tone was now petulant; he knew he was being childish but he wanted to protect himself from what was going to be painful for as long as possible.
This wasn't a promising start to the conversation that he'd hoped they'd be having. "Partially the latter; but I'm mainly here as your father, not your commanding officer." Bill moved his chair closer to the bed; closer to his son. "Maybe I should start by saying how proud I am of you. I know I don't say that to you often enough but I am. When I thought I could lose you it made me realise I should tell you things that normally I'd never say. I don't say them not because they aren't important or because I don't feel that way but because I… I don't know I guess part of me thought you knew how I felt."
The young man's face was shocked. "Why would I know, Dad? You're a difficult person to read. There's so much about you I don't understand. Sometimes I feel like I don't even really know you; that I've never known you." The anger was starting to rise within him.
"I know, Lee. And it's my fault." He stopped talking briefly, turning his gaze from his son. "While you were being operated on, I had a lot of time to think. I realised I was never there for you when you were a child; never there for you as a father should be. I was there when Zak was born but wasn't around when you were. I thought it was the best thing to do for the family at the time but I was wrong. I guess I never realised what I'd be missing until it was too late. I want to apologise for that. It was a mistake and if I had that time again, it'd be different."
The anger disappeared as his father spoke. For the first time he began to understand him. He thought about what he'd said for some minutes. "If things had been different, I wouldn't be the person I am now. You not being there made me grow up, made me become who I am today. If things had been different dad, I may not even have been alive today. I may have been on Caprica when the Cylons attacked. Let's face it, if things had been different, you may have been on Caprica and then what would've happened to the rest of humanity."
Bill listened intently to his son and understood the logic he was saying, "You're right." He reverted back to the original point he'd been trying to make. "Anyway, I'm very proud of you son, and I wanted you to know that. I'm proud of you as an officer; as a pilot and as a son." Emotion crept onto his face as his son looked at him. "I can't believe you managed to fly the Raptor back to Galactica when you were so ill. It was an outstanding bit of flying. The best that we've seen for quite a while."
"You might not want to say that when Kara's around." A smirk appeared on both of their faces at Lee's comment.
"True. Although I think she's as proud of you about that as I was. She probably won't admit it though." A wry smile graced the older man's face. "The Commander in me wants to reproach you for your actions but the father in me knows why you did it; and understands."
Lee struggled to find the words to respond to his father. "I had to do it, dad." His voice was quiet again; his tone almost subdued. His father just looked at him, waiting patiently for him to continue. "If she'd died…" his voice broke and he had to stop.
"Talk to me Lee."
Blue eyes turned towards the old man; emotion radiating from them, "If she isn't here, then life isn't worth living."
Bill's breath was taken away from him with the conviction in his son's voice. "Have you told her how you feel?" Lee didn't say anything; he didn't need to; it was written all over his face. "You should tell her, son." So much for his son not opening up he thought with triumph.
"She wouldn't want to hear that from me." Bill could see the walls building within his son and knew he was pulling away from him; his spirits fell. He sighed with the realisation they'd been right about his son all along. "Look at me, dad. I'm a mess. Why would she want anything to do with me? She can have anything she wants. She deserves so much more than I can give her. I won't be the one that holds her back."
"You're making a mistake, son. And don't you think Kara should be the one to make that decision?" Lee had turned his head away from his father and Bill knew he wouldn't get any further with his son. It was at times this, that Bill cursed the Adama stubbornness. Unfortunately that was something the boy in front of him had inherited from him. Most other things about him he'd got from his mother but the Adama pride had well and truly been passed on to his eldest child. He just hoped the spirited young woman that so obviously felt so much for him would be able to convince him that he was worthy of her. More importantly he hoped it wouldn't cause too much pain for either of them; neither of them were strong enough for that at the moment. Lee had completely withdrawn now; gone into his own shell. Thinking about things that'd happened to him, his dad surmised. He sighed deeply once more and then walked out of the room.
BSG
Lee's time slipped into a routine. He stayed in sickbay most of the day. After the third or fourth day since he woke up, he was actually allowed to leave there – even if it was only temporarily. Even then he was confined to a wheelchair. He was pragmatic enough to know there was no possibility of him leaving otherwise; he just didn't have the energy. He hoped that was all about to change though. Today was the day everything would begin to change; today his physio started. He hated having to rely on other people; it would be nice to get some sort of independence back.
Helo walked into the room. "I understand you're starting physio today." He perched on the end of the bed.
"Yep. It'll be good to start doing something. It can get quite boring sitting here all day every day."
"I can imagine." He looked down briefly and then back at the Captain. "How are things with Kara?"
"They're okay." He tried to dodge the question; which was something he was doing on a fairly frequent basis at the moment; something he was getting quite good at. "So, how's everything else?"
"It's okay. Busy as usual – what with being two pilots down." He smiled to take the sting away from his comment. He decided to broach the subject that had led to his visit. "So do you want some help with the physio?"
Lee was taken aback. He'd known Helo a few months and while he'd grown to respect him as an officer, he didn't really think they were that friendly. Helo was much more Kara's friend than his. But he was a good guy and Lee knew he would be a good ally in the battle that was about to start. "That would be great. I'm going to need all the help I can get."
BSG
Lee wasn't wrong. The physio was much harder than he'd anticipated and he'd known it was going to be difficult. They'd started with simple exercises that he could do to rebuild some of his upper body strength; just a few weights. Lee was ashamed with the way his body had softened since this all began. It'd only been just over a week when he started the physio and yet his muscle had lost a lot of its definition and he was struggling from the offset. They started off doing several short bursts of therapy every day. Lee was becoming frustrated with the lack of progress he felt he was making but really the improvements that were being reaped were vast – they just weren't up to what Lee was expecting.
The physio had been going on for almost two weeks now and today was a big day. While Cottle had been checking him on a daily basis, today was the day he did a complete medical on him; to check his status and see how he was improving. Today Lee could possibly have a better idea to what extent he would recover; and whether he'd ever fly again. Lee was nervous; truth be told he was beyond nervous. He was so tense as he waited for Cottle to appear to start the tests he hoped he didn't start by checking his blood pressure. He suspected that would be the end of it all and if he had to wait much longer he'd have an anxiety attack.
His dad had been down to see him earlier and he'd tried to reassure him. Lee wasn't reassured though. It actually made him worse. Kara'd been down as well. She came to see him regularly even since she'd been released from sickbay. She'd been grounded herself as well. Today was her first shift back on CAP. She was also quite possibly the one person who could truly understand how he felt. Of course that would mean he'd have to tell her how he was feeling; how worried he was. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't tell anyone. If he vocalised how he was feeling it'd be like opening floodgates and that was just somewhere he couldn't go. Not now; possibly never.
Cottle arrived and started the barrage of tests he wanted to run. Lee tried to be as co-operative as he could but he was frustrated and started to snap back at the doctor after an hour. Cottle just smirked and continued to make notes on the charts he had with him.
Lee was jabbed and poked and prodded so many times, he was surprised he wasn't covered in bruises by the end of it. After a very long and tiring couple of hours, the tests were over. Now he just had to wait for the results. His blood pressure rose even higher; he needed to vent some steam. Unfortunately he'd been barred from leaving sickbay so he just had to sit and wait. Patience was also an attribute that was fast becoming something of a problem for the younger Adama.
BSG
Cottle walked across sickbay; the results of all of the tests were in his hands. He walked to Lee's bedside. He could tell the pilot before him was nervous. Lee could swear they could probably hear his heart beating up in CIC. "I'll cut right to the chase, Lee. The results are not as good as I'd have hoped for."
"How bad are we talking?" The mask had already slipped into place.
"The main concerns I have are your leg, your heart and kidneys. The damage to both your heart and your kidneys was extensive and I'd hoped that I'd been able to repair everything but there's still some residual damage." He consulted his notes quickly. "The major problem that's facing you is your leg. A lot of the muscle and tissue on your leg had to be removed when I operated. The creature basically killed your leg. It is healing very slowly. Too slowly. I took some cell samples from the wound and sent it to the lab for tests. The tests came back and there appears to be some infection there. I want to start you on broad spectrum antibiotics immediately. I'm hoping they should have the desired effect. I'm sorry it's not better news, Lee, really I am."
Lee was numb. He didn't know how to react. He was pretty sure he couldn't. If he did it wouldn't be pretty. He struggled off the bed and got into the wheelchair which was never far from him these days. He thought with some resignation that it appeared it was going to be his constant companion for quite a while longer. "I need to get away from here for a while. I'll be back in a few hours."
Cottle reluctantly let him go. He had a call he needed to make; another person's day to ruin. He went into his office and picked up the wireless and placed a call to CIC.
BSG
Lee wheeled himself down the corridors in the ship. He kept his gaze straight ahead, refusing to meet the looks anyone that he bumped into gave him. Fortunately one look at the CAG and the expression on his face had most people scurrying in the other direction. He eventually reached his destination. The gym; the room that was growing to be his second home. He was pleased to see it was deserted. He suddenly realised it would be as it was mid-shift and most people wouldn't be here. Most people were being useful and were helping the fight against the Cylons. His temper spiked and a wave of uselessness hit him full force. He moved over towards some of the exercise machines that he'd been using in his recent physio sessions.
BSG
Kara was out on CAP; flying with Kat around the Gemenon Traveler.
"Starbuck, Galactica Actual."
"Starbuck here. How can I help you sir?"
"Starbuck, I need to you to come back to Galactica. Hotdog is en route to take your place on CAP."
"Is there a problem, sir?"
"Just report to my quarters once you've landed. Actual out."
Kara's concern increased. She was only halfway through her shift. It was definitely unusual for a pilot to be removed from CAP. Her heart sank as she realised what the Commander probably wanted to talk to her about. Lee. She'd felt Lee withdrawing from her since he'd regained consciousness. She'd tried to show him she'd be there for him but he just continued to put barriers in her way. He spent more time with Helo these days and she was growing to resent it.
Hotdog appeared a short distance from her and Kat and she flipped her Viper and began the return journey to Galactica.
BSG
Kara was numb. She didn't know how to react to the news she'd just been given. Her heart was beating at twice the rate it should be. She walked down the corridor radiating pain and anger. She finally reached her destination. She stood for a few minutes outside of the room, struggling to retain some control on her emotions. She could hear him inside the room. It sounded as if he was laying into a punch bag that was in there and she knew how he felt. Helo had set one up that he could use whilst still sitting. It'd helped him to regain some of his upper body strength.
She couldn't put it off any longer. She took a couple of steadying breaths and walked into the room. She quietly shut the hatch behind her and dogged it so they wouldn't be disturbed. She stood watching him.
"Leave now." His voice was steady but she could feel the pain radiating from him. She said nothing. He ignored her for a couple more minutes. His punches on the bag sped up and the intensity of them increased. She took a couple of steps forwards and then stopped, unsure of what to do. He used his gloved hands to stop the bag and his head fell forwards. "I told you to leave."
"Lee…"
"Go Kara. I need to be on my own for a while."
"No. I'm not leaving you here like this."
"Please Kara…" he was begging her now. Trying to get her to leave.
She walked further forward and then she was right next to him. She knelt down beside him so she could see his face through his arms that were still holding the bag in front of him. She could see the tension in his body. His eyes were shut when she first saw his face. She whispered his name. His eyes flew open at her words and she took a sharp breath in. His eyes contained so many emotions. He looked at her intently, pain evident on both of their faces. She tried to work out what he was thinking. Over the last couple of weeks he'd become impossible to read and even now when his emotions were set at Condition One she still couldn't get a fix on them. She waited for him to say something.
"I really wish that just once you'd do as I ask." His tone was resigned. She waited. She knew this conversation was building to something. She hoped that it would give her a chance to break through some of Lee's barriers. He sighed deeply. "Kara, I need you to listen to me and really hear what I'm saying." He stopped and looked at her again. She looked back into his eyes. "Please leave me alone." He punctuated each word with a tap on the bag with one of his gloves.
She finally found her words. "Lee, I know you don't mean that." She swallowed and took a shaky breath. "I want to be here for you. I want to help you."
"Help me?" He laughed bitterly and rolled his chair away from her. "I think you've been more than enough help already, thanks. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be in the position I'm in now." Her chest tightened at his words and tears flooded her eyes. She couldn't speak, but then Lee didn't give her a chance anyway. Cracks were beginning to appear in the veneer that he'd formed around his emotions. He'd found something he could vent at. "This is all your fault Kara. As usual you acted first and thought later and now I'm suffering the consequences of it." His words were irrational but he knew they'd be having the desired effect. His voice became louder as he spoke. The look on his face had changed to one of fury. He was now almost shouting at her. "I hate you and I don't ever want to see you again. Do you understand? Am I getting through to you? I HATE YOU KARA!"
She stumbled backwards at the ferocity of the words that he sent towards her. Tears tumbled down her face. In all the years she'd known Lee, he'd never intentionally hurt her… until now. A small part of her tried to convince her that he didn't really mean it; but her insecurities which went all the way back to her childhood had been unleashed with those few words from him. She turned and pulled herself to her feet, almost running to the entrance to the room. She undogged the door and opened it so quickly it slammed against the wall behind it. She ran out of the room trying to get away from him as soon as possible.
Lee hung his head again. Slightly ashamed of how he'd just behaved with someone that he considered to be a friend; someone he had at one time hoped would be more than a friend. Now he knew that was just an impossible dream. He'd just seen to that. It didn't make him feel any better though. It just felt like part of him had died.
TBC