Scene 1.2
Canada
What bloody man is this? He seems as though he could tell us about the latest revolt, by the looks of him.
Quebec
This is British Columbia, who fought against me being taken prisoner. Hey, British Columbia! Tell the king of the battle.
British Columbia
The outcome was doubtful, men fought warily. The merciless Switzerland, a worth rebel, because the multiple evils of nature are in him, has a supply of lowly chiefs in the Western islands, and fortune, smiling on his damned quarrel, looked like a rebel's whore. Only they all lacked courage, because brave America, well he deserves that name, Outshining fortune, with his brandished sword, which was steaming with blood because he used it so much, like power's hero, killed through the crowd towards Switzerland; and he never shook hands, said goodbye to him, until he cut him in half, from his navel to his chin, and put Switzerland's head on top of our fort's wall.
Canada
Good job, America!
British Columbia
Yes. If I am to report truth, I must say that they were vvery upset. So they re-doubled strokes upon us. What they wanted to do, I cannot tell. Only I am faint, I need help.
Canada
Your words and wounds tell of honor. Go, fetch some doctors for him. Who's approaching?
Quebec
The worthy leader of the North.
Denmark
He looks as though he's in a great hurry! His look should look that way with so many strange things to say.
Norway
God save the King!
Canada
Where have you come from, worthy leader?
Norway
From the north, great king; where the moon's banners insult the sky, and, like a fan, make our people cold. The king of the moon himself, with terrible numbers of men, assisted by that most disloyal traitor, the leader of the east, began a horrid conflict. Until he lost, and victory fell upon us.
Canada
Great happiness!
Norway
Then Sweno, moon king, wanted a treaty; we would not agree to the burial of his men until he paid us, at Saint Colme's island, ten thousand grams of gold to our general use.
Canada
The leader of the east shall no longer betray matters close to our heart. Order his death immediately, and grant America with his formal title.
Norway
I'll make sure it happens.
Canada
What Switzerland has lost, heroic America has won.