Warning: This fan-fiction contains mentions of nonconsensual sexual relationship, abusive family, consensual physical relationship between two women, attempted suicide, language and violence.

disclaimer: I don't own any of the lyrics used in this work of fiction, all recognizable names are not mine. Any connection to real life events is purely coincidelntal.

AN: I just wanted to point out that I've never actually seen any episode of Glee so if someone is uncharacteristic I'm sorry.
As some of the reviews pointed out, this is un-beta'd so all mistakes are mine.
Sorry I'm a day late on posting it, usually I write ahead of posting, and this was going to be a two-shot, but after I read your reviews (thank you, by the way, they were wonderful) I decided to continue, next chapter is almost done and is going to be the last chapter.

Have an amazing time, I hope you'd enjoy :)

Chapter 3: Hold Me Tight (Beatles)

She was trying really hard not to roll her eyes. She really did. It wasn't her fault Santana was acting uncharacteristically fussy around her. She was all lovey-dovey, although she was a bit recognizable when she threatened the social worker whose car they were riding to take her along, and Santana did huff and glare when Charlie eventually rolled her eyes.
–It wasn't her fault. Santana had asked 5 times already if she was cold. The move was a rough on the two of them. Charlie was being released after 3 weeks of hospitalization to a governmental sponsored foster home until a house will be assigned to her. The social worker said it was now mainly red tape until either the Chang's or the Lopez's will be able to take her in.

It was hard, knowing they were all looking at her. When she was in the hospital she always had visitors, it was unnerving in a way. She didn't like being the center of attention, a lot of eyes meant someone will always catch the small mistakes she made. Sure, now everyone was concerned and worried about the little girl that her big bad father abused. But what will happen when the finally realize it was her fault? That she broke his rules on purpose some of the time, and in others she is just a useless excuse for a daughter that can't follow simple orders? That she seduced her own father into committing adultery? Their pity and sorrow will turn into hatred and disgust. And maybe she should finish this off now, before they will find out eventually. They'd think she's depressed over losing her baby, or that the emotional and physical pain was too much. Maybe they'll blame the system for sticking her in a room with 4 other girls that might be in the same pain. She could use the pills the hospital gave her and they'd think she over dosed by accident. But she won't do this, not yet. That's because she's selfish. Charlie wants to spend as much as time possible with Santana. And Santana might stick around longer than others, turn a blind eye and suppress the sick feeling because that's what society expects her to do, maybe she'll be the first to bail, it doesn't matter, because the moment Santana realizes with what she got herself tangled with and leave –Charlie's life will be over.

Flashback

Whoever said that High school was easier than middle school had some sick sense of humor. Moving there was like moving from a village to the city. It alienated you. It was easier in the sense that Quinn was able to disappear in the crowed. She had simple rules that helped her along; always sit in the middle of the class but arrive first, don't interrupt jocks and cheerleaders as they walked in the halls, don't eat in the cafeteria only on the bleachers, they were so many of them she could possibly write a book on the subject.
She stood out in only two ways- she had joined a school's club (both for extra curricular and to stay away from home) and she was the top of her class, just because she rather be there than suffer her fathers beating for any imperfect grade.
She would've joined the art club but they were too busy discussing bake sales and cute boys to actually paint, so she settled to be in photography club. She was sure that Ms. Pillsbury was onto her, the woman kept pressing concerned glances at her and tried to have a bonding meeting for the whole club (yes, the whole two members of it). Luckily that was shot down when the other member of the club refused to be spotted outside of school with the two of them. So defeated, Emma just handed her a flyer saying; 'I have no friends, love me!'

Her mom was shopping for Christmas, her father still had pressing issues in his office (most likely his secretary) - the timing should be perfect. She handed her own 'suicide letter' to Ms. Pillsbury earlier, hoping that after the consular learned the news some of her works might turn famous. They say that Van Gough only sold 2 pieces when he was alive, right?
She was determined when she walked to the kitchen, from years of being taught how to be a good housewife she knew which knife was for meat. She rolled up her sleeves and started cutting her right hand, they were deep gushes. Quickly, not wasting any time she moved the knife's handle to her right hand. The cuts were shallower, she was too weak. That's what her mind kept telling her- you are too weak.
It was ironic that her mother found her. Not even with ending her life could she do a good job. The timing was perfect.

The rose came back to her cheeks after those few days. Her father insisted she would go back to her chores, and make up for the time she couldn't perform them. She was cleaning the floor in the living room, her father sitting on his chair. From some reason, even though he was watching football he was holding his lucky bat, caressing the wooden tip as his eyes were glued to the screen.
"Did you think I'd let you commit such a sin, you foolish dimwitted girl?" He asked through clenched teeth, his eyes following the ball.
"No, father" she whispered and kept doing her job.
"Did you think we'll bring you to the hospital, and everyone'll think you're a little precious angel? You're nothing but a whore and a dirty little cunt. Trying to disobey God's words. Do you think they'll have mercy on you? Do you think he will?" He pointed. It was the commercials so her father got up from his chair, lifting the bat. She didn't stop cleaning, she didn't look him in the eyes, she didn't cry. He raised the bat and started hitting her. He wasn't mad at this point. His blows were too accurate to be delivered in the state of angriness. He was nothing more than a disappointed father teaching her a lesson. The mop fell from her hands and she doubled over. He stopped swinging the bat and gave a forceful kick to her chest. A little blood came out of her mouth. The game came back on and her father wiped a bead of sweat from his brow and returned to his previous position. Quinn groaned in pain but managed somehow to get up, the smell of the cleaning solution making her nauseous. She couldn't stand up straight, she used the mop the hold herself up.

"You should clean this" he pointed at the blood she coughed.

XXX

Her therapist was nearly frustrated at this point. Charlie could see it in her eyes even though the doctor tried to hide it. It was their fourth meeting and Charlie said nothing. She ran out of little notions to write down in her pad and moved on to pretend to write.
"You know what might help you? Maybe reading 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower'" The therapist perked up with the idea she managed to suggest. "The main hero is also named—"
"Charlie, I know. I named myself after him" she answered without moving. She was sitting with a straight back, hands folded in her lap,
"When did you read it?"
"-The first time I read it wasn't important; the second time though, was after I tried to kill myself. It helped me realize I should try to get away"
"Maybe you should approach this whole ordeal like Charlie in the book did—"
"I'm sorry, but I'm not going to take drugs"
"No, I meant writing about it. Maybe you can write in a notebook your memories from things that happened in your house. From time to time maybe you'll show me them, maybe it will help you to talk about what happened"

"Last week Mike grandmother came to visit me in the foster house" Charlie jumped to another subject, this time the therapist had stuff to write down, she nodded the girl to continue. "I put on the table some cookies and juice. She ate from the cookies, and a second later she asked me if there's nuts in them. It had. She started yelling at me that I was the death of her, and I apologized and suddenly she stopped"
"What happened next?" The therapist was concerned- that was no way to deal with a girl from a broken family.
"She just stopped and asked me in the smallest voice if I knew before hand she was allergic to anything. I said I didn't" Charlie raised her head and gave a soft smile, "she said I gave the cookies to be nice, that I wasn't being bad, so why should I be punished for it. She said that if someone is allergic it's their own duty to ask what their food contained" She just gave a shrug. "I'll write for you what happened, but I'm not going to draw it. I don't want my art being laced with those stories"

XXX

Mike was helping Charlie to carry the boxes into the guest room that quickly turned to her room. There wasn't much there but he hoped they'd be able to fill up the emptiness. He helped her to hang photos up the wall. Photos of her new family, the old photo she had of her and her sister, a photo of her and Santana on one their dates. You could tell the last one was in the lowest quality from the others because the waiter wasn't really giving it his full attention when he took it. It had taken Santana's glare and Charlie's puppy eyes to convince him it will only take a second. He was so happy that Santana was being decent about this whole thing. After what they shared in the hospital he and Santana considered each other as friends.

They were stacking books on the shelves, Mike tapped some movie posters he found in a great price, her camera equipment was on her desk, next to a cup filled with pens and pencils that her roommates from the foster home bought her as a department gift.

Charlie was in the midst of unpacking clothes when the doorbell rang. Mike said he'll get it, he was glad for the intervention because he wasn't too peavey on helping her unpack those.
"Ms. Pillsbury?" He half asked half greeted.
"Hello Michael. I came to visit Charlie"
"Oh, um... Of course, come in" He gestured her inside and led her up the stairs. He tapped on the door and tried not to bluntly stare at the consular and the box in her hands. He was glad that all the pictures in the hallway were straight because her eyes swept in all of them.
"Hello Ms. Pillsbury" Charlie said, as she continued to place the final garments in the closet. Mike spotted a cheerios' workout t-shirt but said nothing on the subject.
"Would you like anything to drink?" He asked politely, but he watched Charlie. Should he leave the two alone? Charlie gave a curt nod, and Emma asked for water. Charlie gestured at the bed for the woman to take seat.
"How are you?" She asked when the door closed. "I tried to reach you at the hospital but you were asleep and Santana looked like she was about to bite my head off. And you know how many germs hospitals have?"
"That's okay" Charlie said sincerely.
"I brought this back" Emma lifted the familiar box. "You should consider submitting them next year on your portfolio for scholarships. They're wonderful"
"you know why I brought them to you in the first place, right?"
"You didn't want your parents to find it" Emma guessed.
"Actually, I lest it because I couldn't find a better idea for a suicide letter. I'm not the best in words" Realization downed on Emma, Santana mentioned that Charlie tried to kill herself on Christmas, the box was given for her just before the vacation started, it sort of made sense. "I thought it would be nice for you to have it because you told me that week that the photos I take are really good…"
"Well, they are. You have an eye for these things" Emma placed the box at the feet of the bed. "Are you coming to McKinley now that you live in the district?"
"Yes, tomorrow Santana is going to drive me to school, but first I have to do two things"
"What's those?"
"First, I need to legally change my name"
"Charlie Chang?"
"Yeah. The therapist told me I should be comfortable in my own skin, so I should accommodate the physical things I don't feel safe about. –In a healthy way, she didn't want me to turn into an eating disorder or something. I don't want to be Quinn Fabray"
The consular nodded sympathetically, "and the second?" Charlie just smiled and got up. Emma walked next to her, willing to help the girl, neither noticing Mike hadn't brought the water bottle.

XXX

"I can't believe you did that" Santana indicated on her girlfriend's head.
"I totally did" Charlie said and dropped a peck on her lips.
"What did Mrs. Chang said? Did she flipped and sent your ass down to earth because 'You. Are. Grounded' ?" Santana theatrically emphasized her point with big hand gestures.
"Are you kidding? It was her idea to go with green. She said it will compliment my eye color. But I'm pretty sure she was afraid I'd go with pink and have a tattoo and some piercing so she went with the less permanent teen self destruction"
"Well, I think you look yummy, and I totally want to do you even though I know I shouldn't so I should just drive you to school, so please get into my car, and I won't make any pedophile remarks by offering you cookies" Santana said, and Charlie playfully rolled her eyes and stepped inside.
Santana was yummy too, in her cheerios outfit, singing along with her amazing voice to the song in the radio.

(Hold Me Tight –Beatles)

It feels so right now, hold me tight,
Tell me I'm the only one,
And then I might,
Never be the lonely one.
So hold me tight, to-night, to-night,
It's you, you you you, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Hold me tight,
Let me go on loving you,
To-night tonight,
Making love to only you,
So hold me tight, to-night, to-night,
It's you, you you you.

Don't know what it means to hold you tight,
Being here alone tonight with you,
It feels so right now.

Hold me tight,
Tell me I'm the only one,
And then I might,
Never be the only one,
So hold me tight, to-night, to-night,
It's you, you you you, oh, oh, oh, oh.

XXX

"I've heard there's a new kid at school" Finn tells Rachel while leaning on her locker.
"Please step aside, Finn, I need to get my books"
"Oh, right" He stumbles away, "the rumor has it, she came here with Santana and that they walked inside together"
"And that she's hot" Puck supplies as he passes the couple. "How's it going Bro, my Jewish princess?"
"I am fine, thank you Noah" Finn just nodded in acknowledgement.
"Oh, shit, they're coming this way" Finn noticed and the three soon pretended to mind their own business.

"I can't believe this. Third year in a row!" Charlie exclaimed, whispering in annoyance inn Santana's ear when she saw who was standing next to her locker.
"The school's secretary really has something against you" Santana decided. "Come on, we'll ignore them and than go to the janitor's closet to make out before the warning bell"
"You make the best plans ever"
"You know it baby"
Charlie reached over and took out her books. They already visited Santana's locker so she picked both of their books when a gentle tap on her shoulder disturbed her happy thoughts of a broom closet meeting. There stood, of course, Rachel fucking Berry, with her mega watt smile in place and Finn Hudson's over sized limb on her shoulder as if he was trying to stop her from making the mistake of talking to Santana's friend.
"Hello, it appears we would be meeting a lot in the next year and thought I would introduce myself. I'm Rachel Barbara Berry, I have the locker next to yours"
Charlie rolled her eyes internally; being seen with Santana has gained her some attention and not to mention her hair. But she didn't regret any of it at all. It was a small price to pay to being with the Latina, so instead of telling Rachel that she never bothered to learn her name or smile her Broadway smile at her the previous two years she just replied "Charlie Chang". If anyone thought it was a weird name for the girl they didn't say anything. Santana gave them all her notorious HBIC glare and took Charlie away, shoving her playfully into a near closet, even though everyone was watching.

XXX

Sam was enjoying his time with his new friend and team-mate Mike. He was hoping to meet someone in the football team that was interested in comics Avatar and stuff like he did. Mike seemed like a good friend so when he invited him to play in his PlayStation Sam agreed with a smile. He was having hard time getting into the school and meeting new people so he was eager to make good impression.

He and Mike were playing some sniper game Sam didn't really recognize, but he caught the hang of it soon enough and was now having good time. He and Mike talked about random stuff, like their opinion of the coach, Sam's audition for Glee club a week earlier or Mike's girlfriend Tina.
"She's very nice" Sam said from what he could remember from the few glee club meetings he attended.
"Yo, you know where's Chuck?" Santana Lopez barged into the living room, where the boys were located. Sam did a double-take and realized that Santana just walked into the house without knocking on the door. She probably visited Mike a lot if she was invited herself in, no questions asked. From what he seen of the two in the school, Mike and Santana had some kind of a bromance.
"Well, you have two guesses" Mike said with a smile, and Sam could tell they were used of teasing each other. He only talked to Santana directly once or twice, and was quick to learn that you shouldn't get on her wrong side.
"My first guess was down here with you, drawing some elaborated scene from your imaginary DC – Marvel crossover you keep talking about"
"Well, you chose wrong. She's probably in her room. By the way, if this was a 'Saw' movie you would have been dead a long time ago"
"Keep talking Chang, and you'd never lose your AV card" She sat on the couch between the two boys, eating the snacks Mike arranged earlier.
"What's an AV card?" Sam made the mistake of asking.
"Asian Virginity" They both answered, only Mike said his answer in a defeated manner. Mike noticed they aren't going to concentrate on the game for the next seconds so he pressed the pause button.
"And you, from all people should know that we Chang's treat our ladies right. Didn't you say you were looking for Charlie? Why are you sitting here with us?"
"Don't worry- the Spidey senses never failed me. She'll know I'm here" The moment she spoke Charlie came down the stairs.
"Hey Santana!" She said elevated.
"See? Told you- Spidey senses work at full power"
"I don't need any tingling senses, honey. You just talk real loud"
"Oh snap!" Mike said and raised his hand to high five. Santana gave him a 'are you kidding' look, Charlie gave the one saying 'there is no way in hell I'm falling for this trap', and Sam was still too much afraid of Santana to be included in the dig, Mike just high fived himself. "If you want a good job done, do it yourself" He shrugged and returned to his game.
"Defiantly not going to lose your AV card soon" Santana pointed out the double meaning in his words.

XXX

"Santana, why won't you try to find us new members for the club? Someone with decent voice and moves but won't steal the few solos we have"
"I don't know anyone" Santana huffed from the plastic chair, picking on her nails, texting with Charlie. The messages soon turned into sexting, but she didn't mind.
"What about your girlfriend? The one with the green highlights?"
"Rachel, my sister told you a couple of times she's not interested. So please, leave her out of the club's drama. We're enough to perform, so leave it be" Mike said, and everyone looked at him. Only Santana recognized this opinionate side of Mike. She saw him and Charlie having discussions ranging from what king of bacon is the best (they actually agreed on the subject) to what strategy to take in their Xbox game to politics. Tina looked at him dumbfounded. Ever since her boyfriend had gained a baby sister (by 3 months as Charlie kept reminding him when he got protective) she was seeing less of him. It had gotten to the point where she asked Santana where he was. –Let's point out that Santana isn't the nicest person to ask help from.

"All Rachel wanted was to have a better show. The more the merrier" Tina defended.
"From all the trees you won't see the forest" Santana quipped, crossing her legs slightly while Brittany giggled. –She knew what Santana was doing.
"But, I could show you my tree trunk" Puck told Tina, moving his eyebrows suggestively, passing his hand through his Mohawk.
"If you even move right now, I will chop down your pucks" Santana threatened. "I'm going to the bathroom" Without waiting for an answer she took her cell and ran out of the room.
"Trust me, it was like, super important" Brittany told Rachel.

XXX

Tina was mad with Mike. How could he not stand by her side when Puck was being so crude? Plus, he was busy all the time, even when he wasn't with Charlie- he was playing with Sam, going on dance class with Brittany, practicing for the football team, fixing his car with Santana. She had it enough; she would join Mike to anything he might do. That's pretty much how se found herself in a convention with Mike dressed as some super villain from a YouTube show, Sam as Han Solo and Charlie in a golden bikini and hair extensions being Princess Leah. It felt kind of weird being the 'normal' one in the group. She usually stood out with her gothic attire, but right now she just stared at them like they were some kind of freaks. A lot of people came to take pictures with them, especially later when Santana finally showed up as wonder woman and thought it was appropriate to make out with her girlfriend in the middle of crowed containing mostly 14 year old boys that never actually seen a girl up close. Sue Sylvester's nickname for the head cheerleader - 'fun bags', was clear to all.

Santana pulled Charlie when their friends weren't looking. Tina's glares and possessiveness over Mike was irritating the whole group. Even when Sam tried to start a conversation with her when Mike and Charlie stood in line for something to be signed she acted rudely. They had no time for this. Santana kissed her girlfriend passionately, hoping that the restroom won't have occupants, than dismissing the thought entirely- she didn't care. Charlie pushed her inside, hands moving along the sides of the outfit.
"I did not like the way Batman was checking you out" she whispered against her neck, biting lightly at the pulse point. Santana whimpered.
"Well, I'm not the one standing here in a bikini, Charlie"
"And here I thought you are here for the buns" she gestured at her hair duo, the green highlights clearly seen in the mess of blonde.
"Oh, I'm totally a buns' lady" Santana declared, giving a soft squeeze to her ass. Charlie laughed at her antics and hoisted her up to the sink counter.

XXX

"Are you going to open it?" Charlie asked. They've been staring at the envelope that lay on the counter of the Lopez house for quit some time. It had the Columbia University logo on it, and neither could determine by its size whether it was an acceptance letter or a rejection. As much as it hurt both girls, each of their dream schools were at either sides of the country. With Santana wanting to study music in New York and Charlie planning to go to art school in California.
"What if they don't want me?" Santana asks in a moment of insecurity.
"Well, if they do that –which I don't believe they will- than they're missing out and blind"
Santana nods, "I'm doing it, I'm opening the letter" She tears open the envelope her hands gripping both sides of the letter as her eyes pass the written words. "I… I'm in" she whispers in total amazement, than she realizes what it means and jumps up and down. "I got into Columbia!" she yells hugging her girlfriend of two years. "In a few months I'm going to be a student at Columbia University!"

A long distance relationship. If anyone could do that it was them. And it's not the 19th century. People have phones, Skype and quick access to airplanes when things got really lonely. They were together for 2 and a half years -Santana counted it from the day they first met, and not their first date.

Flashback

Santana brought out of her backpack the Chinese food boxes she had to sneak inside.
"Did Mrs. Chang talk to you?" Charlie asked as Santana set everything up. Tom was pretending to be asleep in the bed next door. When she draws the blind separating the two beds she sneaks him an eggroll.
"Yeah…" She finally sits down, "she told me that her nephews were at your position, but their mother was smart enough to walk away and save them…" they didn't address the elephant in the room. –Charlie's own mother that instead of running away from Russell chose to drink herself into happy places where nothing bad was happening, everyone obeyed the Christians' version of God's words and Margaritas were handed out freely. "That she can't live with herself knowing you need help and that she'd love to have you at her home"
"Officer Jones said it's going to take some time until a social worker comes to check if their house is fit, but he sees no problem"
"My parents are thinking to take you in too. I think there's going to be a battle there. But because you already tasted my mom's awesome cooking…" Santana hands Charlie chopsticks, "I brought you Chinese food to our first official date. So you'd get used to it"
"I can't decide if this is racist or sweet"
"Oh, it's both, so don't work your cute little head over-hours trying to decided"

XXX

So when Charlie got a scholarship to art school with an internship at some little un-known comic books' publisher, they weren't upset thinking their relationship was over. They knew it was only the beginning. They were sad though. They were going to make the most of their final year in high school. Of course it caused some not that very pleasant moments; Mr. Schuster walking on them making a different use to the piano, Sam finding them with a different use to her Leah costume or Puck finding them making a good use to his cleaning pool's van. They stopped after that last incident because Puck pulled out his cell phone to picture it. They also had gotten to the sappy phase of their relationship. -Getting each other small thoughtful presents, each date coming out of a romantic-comedy script, taking gazillion photos of each other. It was actually really sickening to everyone watching from the side. Well, everyone except Brittany that awed in every possible moment and Puck- that still enjoyed the very few seconds his phone did recorded.
A long distance relationship- challenge accepted.