Title: Fading to Awake
Series: Just Breathe
Author: Joani
Rating: PG-13
Spoiler: 'Closing In' (aired Apr. 21, 2003)
Disclaimer: The author (having tried all sarcastic avenues to express this)
does not own Third Watch, the ideas of Third Watch, or the characters of
Third Watch. But don't tell her that, you might break her.
***
There was a faint sound, he thought, steady and constant.
He hated that sound. It wouldn't go away.
Around him was cold nothingness. He liked that, because it was uncomplicated. It was simply nothing, there was no other way to consider it.
He might have been floating in it, or maybe he was laying on it.
Yeah, that was the name for the position. Laying. He felt something brushing over his hand, warm but faint, and he wanted more of it. He strained for it, but he couldn't feel anything but the faint wisp of tentative caress.
He concentrated on that feeling, and it started to feel more solid, more real. It wasn't much of a pressure, more like it was all around his hand.
That was weird.
The beeping was still there, but he heard other things. A voice, soft and raspy, as if the speaker was unsure of the words to say, or if the speaker had been crying. It was a low, melodious voice, and it faded in and out.
He wished the beep would stop, because it interrupted that voice. He wanted to hear more of it, because it felt like warm and trust, like a blanket wrapped around him, or warm water, washing him clean head to toe.
Then, he smelled it. It smelled funky, like old person, powder, and antiseptics embraced in one. Like nurseries or old people homes...
Though it was fuzzy, he managed to connect the smell, the cold, and the beeps. Fuck, he hated hospitals.
For a while, he forgot the warmth around his hand and the voice, thinking about how much he hated hospitals.
Then he started to remember it, and he thought while it was a good thing he was remembering, he didn't know where the warmth had gone, and the voice was silenced.
Suddenly, the cold nothing was no longer enough for him. He wanted to cry out, but he couldn't move his mouth to yell. He wanted to move, but his body was unresponsive to command.
This was completely unsatisfying, and he became frustrated when his body wouldn't move, no matter what he told it.
He got tired, and felt his strength fading, to the sound of those fucking beeps.
There was a faint sound, he thought, steady and constant.
He hated that sound. It wouldn't go away.
Around him was cold nothingness. He liked that, because it was uncomplicated. It was simply nothing, there was no other way to consider it.
He might have been floating in it, or maybe he was laying on it.
Yeah, that was the name for the position. Laying. He felt something brushing over his hand, warm but faint, and he wanted more of it. He strained for it, but he couldn't feel anything but the faint wisp of tentative caress.
He concentrated on that feeling, and it started to feel more solid, more real. It wasn't much of a pressure, more like it was all around his hand.
That was weird.
The beeping was still there, but he heard other things. A voice, soft and raspy, as if the speaker was unsure of the words to say, or if the speaker had been crying. It was a low, melodious voice, and it faded in and out.
He wished the beep would stop, because it interrupted that voice. He wanted to hear more of it, because it felt like warm and trust, like a blanket wrapped around him, or warm water, washing him clean head to toe.
Then, he smelled it. It smelled funky, like old person, powder, and antiseptics embraced in one. Like nurseries or old people homes...
Though it was fuzzy, he managed to connect the smell, the cold, and the beeps. Fuck, he hated hospitals.
For a while, he forgot the warmth around his hand and the voice, thinking about how much he hated hospitals.
Then he started to remember it, and he thought while it was a good thing he was remembering, he didn't know where the warmth had gone, and the voice was silenced.
Suddenly, the cold nothing was no longer enough for him. He wanted to cry out, but he couldn't move his mouth to yell. He wanted to move, but his body was unresponsive to command.
This was completely unsatisfying, and he became frustrated when his body wouldn't move, no matter what he told it.
He got tired, and felt his strength fading, to the sound of those fucking beeps.