Talespin does not belong to me, nor do any of its characters… They're Disney's! I'm not in this for the money, just for fun! All original characters belong to me, but anyone is welcome to use them if they wish. And anyone who wants to use any of my scenes, to attempt a bit of art, then please go right ahead!
Just in case some people get insulted at the way some scenes are written, such as the sexist remarks… etc. Please remember that I'm trying to keep all the characters in line to the show, so things like sexism was typical for Baloo and other characters, and remember that the show was set in the 1930s, so things were different back then.
These fics also came with illustrations, but obviously you can't see them on FF. To see this fic in all its glory, go to the Talespin website (remove spaces)…
www. Animationsource .org/ talespin/ en/ fanfic/storyseeker1/ 20493. html
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Louie's Place;
One Second After Karnage's Wish:
"Shoulder-bump, rump-bump, arm-slam, hip-bam!" Baloo and Louie both chorused together, as they bumped their shoulders, rump and hips into the others. It was part of their new dance that Baloo had constructed, after having one too many milkshakes.
"Shoulder-bump, rump-bump, arm-slam, hip-bam!" they repeated, playing in tune to the music that the band was playing. Then Baloo got a hold of Louie, grasping him in a head-lock, and… "Noogie! Noogie! Noogie!" Baloo laughed, as he rubbed his knuckles into Louie's scalp.
"Hey! Watch the doo, cous!" Louie belted Baloo away, adjusting his hair.
It wasn't much of a dance, but there really wasn't a whole lot going on that night. Louie had decided, for once, to try a single's night, something for all the singles out there to get together at. Baloo had been all for it, but the only problem was, although there were plenty of bachelors at this party… there weren't any bachelorettes.
"Aw man, let's face it, Baloo," Louie said half in dismay, eyeing his club. "This evenin's a wash. A single's night isn't much, if the only singles here are those of our gender."
Baloo shrugged. "Yeah, but come on, Lou. The evenin's still early. We might still get some honeys arrive here."
Louie laughed. "Even if we did, how long do you think they'll stay?" He pointed at the rows of tables and chairs. "Take a good look at our brethren tonight, cous. They ain't exactly high quality."
Baloo had to admit that Louie was right there. Most of the guys that had shown up were those that had let themselves go, big time. One was an enormous polar bear; with an even bigger gut than Baloo's, a huge Gorilla with a few teeth missing, and a pair of overgrown weasels with buckteeth and sly looks. Some were okay, a group of Panthers from Kahn's Air Forces, but most looked to be nothing more than overweight pimply losers who were way past the desperation mark.
Louie smirked. "Face it, cous. One look from any of these guys, and any girl would do a runner to the next continent."
Baloo laughed, and boasted. "Not if she saw me first!"
Louie snorted. "Man, the only time a girl ever took one look at you, and came back for more, was that one girl from the IRS. And that was because you hadn't paid your taxes."
Baloo snorted back at him. "Louie, Louie, Louie… You gotta realise that when it comes to women, I'm the man!"
Louie merely waved him off. "Well, man, even if you were right, it's not as though there's any… HEL-LOOO!" Louie's eyes looked as though they were ready to bulge right out of their sockets.
"Huh?" Baloo looked to where he was staring at, and felt his own eyeballs ready to pop out, as he noticed a stranger come into the club.
Many of the other men in the club couldn't help but notice the way Baloo and Louie were staring at something, their eyes as wide as saucers, and their tongues rolled out of their mouths, panting like they hadn't had water in a week. Curious, they looked to where they were staring at… and soon, more tongues were wagging.
From across the room, Karnage blinked in confusion. He had found himself sitting on a barstool in the establishment of that ape-friend of Baloos.
Karnage forgot momentarily that he was no doubt in disguise from the Genie's magic, and panicked, realising that he was in the middle of the bar, and more than a few customers were already looking his way. He put his hand up to his face, hoping to shield his appearance from them, and then he paused…
There, staring back at him from across the bar, was the most gorgeous female he had ever laid eyes on. She was a Vixen, a lady-Fox, with long shining red hair, a magnificently sleazy figure, with a full buxom and pouting red lips. She was also wearing the shortest, and tightest, red dress that he had ever seen. His heart was already beating fast, and the heat in the room seemed to increase a thousand degrees.
He almost forgot the reason why he was there, and raised his hand to smooth back his hair, making himself look more presentable, only to watch her do the same. At first, he thought something like 'great minds think alike', but with every move he made, she did exactly the same.
Karnage's mind went blank, as the reality of the situation finally hit him…
He was staring into a mirror…
He moved his hands in front of him, looking down, and saw to his dismay a pair of women's hands, with long red fingernails. He gulped, and moved his hands down all around his body, and found a couple of things that were definitely not there before, and some things that were missing.
Had it not been for the crowd inside the bar, Karnage would most assuredly be screaming right about now.
'That stupid, incompetent, brainless, idiotic…Genie!' There was no curse word strong enough for Karnage to think of.
"Hey, doll!" a voice, heavy with the sound of drink, said.
Karnage looked to his left, just in time to see a large black Gorilla, with several teeth missing, and a bad case of B.O, sit down right beside him… or her, as that was now the case.
"What's a petty wittle ting like you doin inna place like tis?" the Gorilla slurred, as he took a swig of beer, and then belched loudly.
Karnage winced at the smell. This guy had obviously had one too many drinks tonight.
"Hey, babe!" another shout sounded through her other ear, and she turned to see a huge fat Polar Bear, even bigger than Baloo, sit down right next to her on her other side.
His large rotund shape took up the room of almost two seats, and was pushed up against her, his hip snuggled next to hers.
Karnage felt heat rush to her face.
"I just came in for a drink," she hurriedly said, "but I believe I have changed my mind. My head, she has the headache, so see you, goodbye." She got up to leave, but was unable to move, considering the two fatsos had taken up most of the room, and had boxed her in-between them.
"Awww, stay bit longer," the Gorilla said, putting on a pouting face, attempting to be sweet, but looked more like he was going to throw up. "Tat's a mighty petty accent ya got tere."
"Yeah!" the Bear added, as he snuggled up closer, wedging Karnage tighter in-between the two of them. She felt as though she were in a vice. "Ain't everyday we meet a gal as high class as you." He patted her hand. "Where you from, France, Italy?"
Karnage wanted nothing more than to draw her word and run these guys through, but unfortunately it seemed that her sword had been replaced with some lipstick. She clenched her teeth, gagging, as she could smell the alcohol on their breaths.
"Well, as flattering as that is," Karnage tried to push them away, but it was like trying to push a couple of mountains. "I really have to be going. I've got work to do… " '…And a Genie to send to the afterlife,' she added mentally.
"Well, how bout a goodbye kiss then?" the Bear puckered his lips.
"An a cuddle to go with it," the Gorilla added, leaning forward, smooching his own lips.
"Uh oh, looks like the lady could use a hand," Louie noticed from the background.
"Better yet, how bout two?" Baloo said grimly, as he cracked his knuckles.
The two of them started to make their way across the room, to where the trio was sitting, but before they got there…
"OOF!" the white Bear painfully sounded, as the pretty woman elbowed his gut.
"There are two things you should be aware of, my not so slim friends," the lady said, as she swung around on her stool, and stood back from her two would-be admirers. "One, I don't kiss on the first date, and two… I would rather peel away my outer layer skin, and roll around in salt and vinegar, then kiss or be kissed by the likes of you!"
Baloo and Louie stopped, and stared as the lady grabbed the Bear by the scuff of his neck, and landed a fast one to his jawbone.
The Gorilla was just as drunk as the Bear, but he had more sense, despite his heavy drinking, and stayed clear of the fiery tempered young woman.
Baloo and Louie stood where they were for a moment or two, watching the scene unfold, until Baloo grinned and said, "I love a lady with spunk!" and continued on over to the scene.
"Hey, wait for me!" Louie said, and hurried to get in front, but Baloo had a small head start. He got there just as the white Bear was standing up again, glaring at the lady in question.
"Pardon me, guys!" Baloo loudly sounded. The two males looked to see the big grey Bear glaring at them menacingly.
"I think you guys have overstayed your welcome," Baloo warned them, as he pounded his fist into his hand.
"Awww, come on, Baloo," the other Bear whined. "Can't a couple of single guys have a little fun? It is supposed to be a fun night, isn't it?"
"Not when it's at other people's expense, no," Louie interjected. "This is my place, fellas. If a lady says no, then she means no. So wise up, or get out."
The Polar Bear grumbled a bit, but quietly moved away, heading toward an empty table. The Gorilla looked as though he was going to follow him, but barely made it two steps forward before he fell flat on his face, unconscious.
Baloo blinked. "What drink you been giving him?"
Louie shrugged. "Pineapple surprise."
"If I were you," Baloo said, "I'd cut out the surprise, pal." He then noticed the pretty lady looking at them. There was something familiar about her, but Baloo couldn't quite put his finger on it. He was sure he hadn't met her before, as he would remember ever meeting someone as gorgeous as she was.
Baloo was even now finding it hard to breathe, as he looked at her. Darn, was that dress she was wearing even legal? He had never seen a dress, or any sort of outfit, cut so tight and so short. The way it fit her, she might just as well be wearing nothing at all. It was no wonder than those guys had acted crazy around her.
"Ma'am, welcome to Louie's!" Louie suddenly burst in, taking the lady's hand. "I am Louie, and this is my humble abode. Allow me to make your stay a little more pleasurable and get you a drink, on the house of course."
"You know what?" Baloo broke in, and bumped his hip into Louie's, sending him flying over the floor. "Drinks are so informal. How's about you and me grab a bite to eat?" He took her hand, bowing formerly, while he tipped his cap at her.
Karnage felt like running her sword through everyone, starting with these two, her most hated and second most hated enemies, and then through those drunken oafs. Her face felt like it was on fire, from anger and embarrassment.
"Thank you," she said through clenched teeth. "But I really have to be going. I only meant to stay for one drink, and I… "
"Awww, come on, I insist," Baloo tucked his arm under hers, and led her away.
"We both insist!" Louie sprang up out of nowhere, hooking his arm under Karnage's free one, glaring at Baloo. Both of them tugged Karnage, each a little closer to themselves, but Karnage made sure to keep herself neutral.
Karnage tried to free her arm, but it was like being locked in chains. Baloo and Louie were nothing if not persistent.
"Baloo," she tried saying "I really must… "
Baloo led Karnage to a secluded table and seated her down in the middle, and parked himself right next to her, with Louie on the other side.
"Now don't you worry about the… Hey, how did you know my name?" Baloo suddenly realised she had just called him by his name, and he hadn't even introduced himself yet.
Karnage gulped, realising her mistake. "Umm, I heard, Louie did you say? He called you by it."
Louie tipped his straw-hat, his eyes staring intensely at her. "Ma'am, first of all I'd like to say what a real honour it is having someone so refined as you, gracing my establishment with your… ever so lovely presence."
Karnage half-smiled. "Yes, thank you, but I really must… "
"You know," Baloo spoke up. "It ain't every day we meet someone like you… A woman of your grace and beauty would surely bring springtime wherever you go. Just look at this place? A moment ago, before you came, it was nothing more than a cheap dump with rotten timbers, poor food, tacky fashion… "
"Watch it, cous!" Louie hissed through his teeth, his hand by his mouth. "Unless you want a sundae special decorating your head?"
Baloo ignored him, continuing with his wooing line. "Now look at it. With you, it's a paradise on earth. I'd be willing to go so far as to say that if all the girls in the world were even half as lovely as you, autumn and winter would be a thing of the past."
"Nice poetry, Romeo," Louie half-smirked.
Baloo just sneered back at him.
"By the way, sugar," Louie asked, his face in his hands, lookin dreamily at her. "You never did tell us your name?"
"Don Ka… " Karnage paused, and then said. "… Donna Katherine. I just got here on vacation. I saw your… club, and decided to pay a small visit."
"And you've no idea how happy you've made us all for doing so," Baloo kissed her hand, as a gentleman would.
Louie took her other hand. "Donna Katherine… With a name like that, you must come from a family of nobles. Donna Katherine, a name that sounds like it should belong to a princess." Louie followed Baloo's example and kissed her hand, too, but also started to work his way up, as he kissed along her arm.
"You have delicate skin," Baloo said, copying Louie, kissing up her arm also. "Like Satin Silk, but with the hue of a fire Goddess."
Karnage didn't know what was worse… the kissing, or the pick-up lines.
"Err, thank you," Karnage said nervously, having no place to escape since the two of them had boxed her in behind the table. Both Baloo and Louie kissed their way past her shoulders, still spouting romance drivel, but just as they reached her head… she ducked.
"EWWW!" Baloo and Louie both spat, as they landed a wet one on each other's lips.
"Sorry, but I don't believe in kissing on the first meeting," Karnage said, smirking at their expense from under the table.
Baloo and Louie both wiped their mouths.
"You need a shave, Baloo!" Louie gagged.
"And you need breath-mints!" Baloo retorted, wiping his mouth furiously.
Karnage sat back up, smiling through clenched teeth. "Well, as interesting as all this has been, I really have to be going." She tried nudging them again, but still they refused to budge.
"Awww," Baloo said, pretending to be hurt. "I don't think she likes us."
"Not even a teensy bit?" Louie added, cuddling up closer to her.
Karnage groaned. She wondered if Baloo and Louie had played this act on other women before?
She finally succeeded in managing to shift Baloo's big carcass, and slid out from behind the table.
"Many thanks for an… interesting evening," Karnage tried to sound pleasant, but was in an all too haste to leave.
"Hey, wait!" Baloo said quickly, holding out his arm, blocking her escape.
Karnage had to call upon her entire willpower not to throw a punch at Baloo's stocky face, but Baloo was already talking again.
"You can't leave Louie's like this, beautiful," Baloo insisted. "Everyone who comes to Louie's expects a good time, and by George that's what they get!"
"You got that right, cous!" Louie agreed whole-heartedly. As far as his business was concerned, Louie agreed with Baloo one hundred percent.
"Hey, Louie!" Baloo said cheerfully. "You still got that record I left here before?"
Louie rolled his eyes. "Not the banana song again, cous," he muttered. "We listened to that tune a thousand times the last time you were here."
"Hey, it's a classic," Baloo insisted. "And it's 'I got them flat-broke, sticky-shoed, no-banana boogie woogie blues'! Not Banana."
"Whatever," Louie waved his hand in defeat, and signalled a waiter that was near the jukebox.
"You like classics, babe?" he asked the foxy lady.
"Err, yes," Karnage answered, a little bewildered, as Baloo had never come across to her as the lover of classical music type.
"Me, too," Baloo said, still holding her arm. "Especially when it carries a beat!"
'Oh no,' Karnage thought in dismay, guessing what was coming.
One of the monkey-waiters slipped a coin into the jukebox, and a few moments later, something that was definitely NOT classical music came booming out of the music system.
The second the music sounded, Baloo began tapping his toes in tune to the beat, clicking his fingers, and singing some senseless words … Not that anything that Baloo sang ever made any sense.
"Wa ba dada doo, wa ba dada dee," Baloo sang, and before Karnage could even mutter a 'huh?'... Baloo grabbed her hand, and started her off in a Tango style dance.
"WHOAAAA?" Karnage yelped, as Baloo twirled her around.
"Ooba dooba loopa dooba dee, ooba doopa doobie doobie doo!" Baloo continued, his hand on Karnage's hip, holding her close to him.
Karnage put on a brave face, still smiling through clenched teeth, whilst inside she was doing her best not to scream and run. She had gone through many run-ins and battles with Baloo, as well as some rather strange ones this week so far, but this… This was without a doubt the absolute worst. Even worse than when she had been stuck as a baby, with him as her babysitter.
Baloo smiled, as he danced with the lovely 'Donna Katherine', whirling her around the room. She seemed a little nervous, but he just put that off to her being in a new place with new people.
"Wuppe duppe da bada bada," Louie's voice sang out. Despite having listened to this song over a thousand times, when Baloo was there the previous night, Louie was never one to back out of a song. "Wa bada da doo. Wa bada bada. Mmmbaby, wab bada dop-a!" Louie signalled to his band, and pretty soon the whole place was filled with the occupying music of his own personal musicians.
"Whoa," Karnage gulped again, as Baloo continued dancing with her, getting her to do a twirl.
"Wa bada da doo. Wa bada bada. Mmmbaby, wab bada dop-a!" Baloo sang out the other verse again. He had once more gotten into the swing of the song, as Karnage had seen him do often during the week, as he pranced about with Karnage trapped in his arms.
"Yeahhhh man!" Baloo picked Karnage up from under her arms, swung her around, and then dropped her down, sliding her between his legs, and then yanked her back up again.
To say that Karnage was getting a little dizzy would be an understatement at that point. Karnage felt sick, and it wasn't just the constant twirling of the dancing that was making her ill either.
Baloo now had Karnage in a firm embrace, as he danced with her, cheek to cheek.
Karnage had a feeling that she knew what was going to happen now, as she had pulled the same stunt herself (when she had been a him) a few times in her youth. And almost directly on cue, Baloo twirled Karnage one final time, before positioning his hands on her back and leaning her backwards… As the song came to the climax, Baloo positioned himself directly over the 'Lady Katherine', still holding her back, with his eyes closed, and moved his head down slowly forward, his lips slightly puckered.
Karnage gave an eek, and swung her arm around, grabbing the nearest thing her hand could fine, which turned out to be a coconut filled with some tropical juice.
"Mmm… OOF!" Baloo yelped, as something hard, hairy and wet, came smacking into his face.
Karnage jumped out of Baloo's hands. "Thank you for the dance," she said quickly. "Now if you please, allow me to make like a tree and leave, and never say anything of this or me ever again, thank you." With that, she turned and made her way over to the exit, only stopping briefly when a few of Kahn's pilots tried to sweet-talk her, resulting in her giving each of them a slap round the face, and then she continued on her way out.
Louie laughed, as Baloo removed the coconut from his face, which had become stuck on his snout, and wiped off the juice.
"Well, on the bright side, at least she didn't hit you with a Mango surprise," Louie said, referring to the time when he had tried charming Rebecca with a dance, when she had come to Louie's with those fancy rich customers who turned out to be con artists. Only for it to blow up in his face… or rather, slammed into his face.
Baloo on the other hand was grinning like mad. "Man oh man," he said enticed. "That gal is the bomb!"
Louie smirked. "Gotta love them set of legs."
"The rest of her ain't so bad neither," Baloo grinned. "I think I'll just go check to see if she'd like a ride back home." He started running off.
"Hey, hold on now, cous!" Louie said, grabbing his friend's shirt. "How come you get the girl, and I get nothing except the eye-view of you running out the door?"
Baloo smirked. "Cos last time I checked, this place is still yours, and it ain't closing time yet."
At Louie's crestfallen look, Baloo laughed and playfully punched his friend's arm. "See ya later, Louie!" he called out, as he ran out through the main doors. "I'll let you know how I do!" he boasted.
Louie grumbled. "One of these days, I gotta think about getting a co-manager."
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Don Karnage, aka Donna Katherine, made it to the end of the pier…after tripping several times on her high-heels, swearing violently.
"Curses!" Karnage swore, as she rubbed her sore feet, glaring at the high-heel shoes. "How the devil do women survive in these blasted things?"
If the shoes weren't bad enough, she also had to put up with the less than concealing dress, particularly every time when a strong wind blew and she felt it blow right up her shirt. 'Women must have the toughest of hides,' she thought. 'I would get the flu after one night of wearing this.'
Not to mention the increased size of her chest, which was making it difficult to move about. She dreaded thinking about how she was going to be able to work the controls on her plane, with these things in the way?
That was when she suddenly realised something… She had no means of transportation.
Karnage snarled viciously, realising that the Genie had once again transported her without either her plane, or any means back to The Iron Vulture. It had never mattered before, on any of the other times, as she had always returned when the wish wore off, but now she needed a means to get back, otherwise she was stuck here until the wish's end tomorrow.
"What is it that I have to do to catch a break in this dreaded week?" she asked the divine above. "Please, oh merciful one, grant me a break. Just a little one."
"Hey!" Baloo's voice called out, and Karnage turned to see him racing up to her.
"I wanted to know if you would like a lift back home?" Baloo asked her, smoothing back his hair, and smiling suavely, wiggling his eyebrows at her.
Karnage gave a quick look to the heavens above. 'That's it,' she promised. 'You get no more bedtime prayers or Sunday hymns from me.'
"Sorry about before," Baloo quickly apologised. "Me and Louie, we were just having a bit of a laugh, you know?"
Karnage sneered at him. "Seems you do that regularly... from what I've heard," she added hurriedly.
Baloo didn't notice, and just grinned at her. "Yeah, well, what's life…" he did a quick tap-dance on the pier, showing off his foot-work, "… without fun and laughter?" He laughed.
Karnage rolled her eyes and gave him a half-smile, but at the same time she put up her hand to him, keeping him at a safe distance. "Much as I enjoy your… frivolous and fun-seeking attitude to life, I really should be going."
"Oh, yeah," Baloo took off his cap, bowing before her. "May I offer you a ride home, my fair lady?"
Karnage was quick to give him an answer. "Many thanks, but… I am expecting a Taxi-Plane anytime soon. Goodbye."
"Aww," Baloo waved her off. "Old Baloo can get you any place in no time flat. Just tell me where you wanna go, and I'll get you there, no charge."
Karnage grinded her teeth in annoyance. Didn't this guy know how to take a hint?
"I offer you my sincerest thanks," she said, seemingly grateful. "But it is not necessary. Thank you!"
Baloo seemed to finally take the hint, and backed up slowly, replacing his pilot' cap. "Well, err… " he said unsurely. "If you're ever in the neighbourhood again, or anywhere near Cape Suzette, be sure to look me up. Okay?"
"I will be sure to do that," she said, and added lowly. "When the pig's they can fly."
Baloo turned and started to make his way back to Louie's. As he walked away, he muttered something to himself, just loud enough for Karnage to make out.
"Probably wouldn't have been able to take her anyway. Got those emeralds to ship early tomorrow morning."
Karnage felt as though someone had just punched her in her now delicate stomach, and drawn all the breath from out of her lungs. She looked up to the sky, looking for answers she so desperately wanted.
'Why do you torment me in this fashion?' she pleaded. 'What did I ever do to deserve this type of punishment…? Besides multiple thefts, piracy, endangerment of lives, attempted manslaughter, and so on and so forth. Oh, and the occasional mistreatment of some of my crew, but I hardly think that qualifies, do you?'
She shook her head, briefly loosing track of the situation, and turned her head. She watched Baloo, as he was halfway back to Louie's now. She watched him as he scratched his back, making some more tiresome tunes with his would-be singing voice, and shaking his hips.
She didn't want to do this… She sooo did NOT want to do this. But alas, the more she thought about it, the less choice she could see for herself. If what Baloo had just said was true, then tonight was her final chance for obtaining the precious stones.
She knew now that the delivery was due tomorrow, but that was not enough. She had no idea where they were being shipped to, as they could be heading in the opposite direction from her ship for all she knew, and she could risk missing them completely. Plus, there was still the problem of how she was going to get back to her ship?
Karnage could see no alternative, but to go with the original plan that she had set out on, and what her men were expecting. With admirable strength of will, she took a deep breath and grinded her teeth, clenched her fists tightly, and made a silent prayer for strength, before turning slowly around, just as Baloo was nearing the entrance door to his friend's club.
"Mr. Baloo?" she called out, softening her voice a little, attempting to sound pleasant.
Baloo turned at the sound of her voice, looking at her quizzically.
Karnage gave him her best smile; a forced one through clenched teeth, but a smile nonetheless. "Perhaps I have been a bit too hasty," she stabbed her hands with her own fingernails, as she continued clenching her fists. "I was unfair to be so rude. Forgive me, but I am, how they say, going through a few changes as of lately. So perhaps we could… maybe… " She bit her lip, forcing herself to continue. "Maybe we could go for a ride in your aeroplane?"
Baloo's face brightened up immediately. "Well, sure thing, doll!" he said, as he practically leapt over the pier, right up to her. "I thought you'd never ask me!"
Karnage felt faint, as Baloo put his arm around her, guiding her to his plane.
"Neither did I," she commented lowly.
"You'll love my baby," Baloo assured her, his arm still around her, as they walked up to the Sea Duck. "Built her myself, right from scratch… Well, the first time anyway, before she got shot down and blew to bits by the Air Pirates."
"Fascinating," Karnage smiled briefly, remembering that night. It had been the only good thing that had come out of that entire operation, when they had launched an attack on Cape Suzette, destroying Baloo's precious plane. It had been one of the very first times that Karnage and Baloo had crossed swords.
"But believe me," Baloo opened the door for her. "You ain't ever flown in anything like the Sea Duck before. Trust me, this baby is gonna blow your mind away!"
"I can imagine," Karnage said, forcing herself to sound interested. Was it her, or did this guy have a serious crush on his aeroplane?
She allowed Baloo to help her up into the plane, seeing as her new dress was making it hard to do so… and yelped, as Baloo touched her backside while helping her up.
Baloo laughed. "Up you go, honey-buns!" he said, as he patted her rump, pushing her up into the plane.
Karnage took deep breaths, trying to keep herself under control. She had to play along if she wanted to get back to her ship. She started to make her way into the passenger area, but Baloo was quicker, and took her by the hand.
"No way Jose!" he exclaimed. "The one perfect place to sit on a plane is in the pilot's seat, and if that seat is occupied, then the navigator's." he guided her to the front of the plane.
Karnage walked into the pilot's cockpit, hastily shrugging Baloo's hand away, but continued giving him a smile in case he suspected anything. She sat down in the navigator's seat, grateful for the fact that there was a reasonably long gap between it and the pilot's.
"So where do you fancy heading?" Baloo asked her, switching on his engines. "You staying in Cape Suzette?"
"No," Karnage smoothed back her hair. This smile was beginning to feel like it was plastered on her face. "Err, what I mean is… how is about we just go for a fly about first? I mean, I rarely go on the plane rides anymore, so I would hate for this to end so soon."
"Okay with me, babe," Baloo agreed. "Long as there's flying to do with it, I'm there." He pulled on his steering wheel, starting the plane's take-off.
"How is about we start by going east?" Karnage suggested.
Baloo winked at her. "Wherever and whatever you want, I got it, babe."
Karnage wondered whether she should be grateful, or petrified.
"Better fasten your seatbelt though," Baloo told her, adjusting his controls. "Looks like we've got some rough winds ahead. Nothing I can't handle though. Rain and storm, I'm gone."
Karnage smiled again, but this time it was a genuine smile. There were indeed some rough winds ahead, and an even bigger storm… for Baloo.
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A Few Minutes Later;
The Sea Duck:
Baloo had not been incorrect about the high winds. He had assured her that nothing was wrong, as he had flown in far worse conditions than this before. The winds made the Sea Duck do the odd occasional jilt and shake, but nothing serious.
In fact, Baloo seemed to make it a tradition to keep talking about himself every fifteen seconds. So far, Karnage had been listening to stories about how many fights he had been in with the Air Pirates, spies, Dinosaurs (though she wasn't sure how?), giant squids, ghosts and magical idols. Not to mention all the dangerous and difficult flights he had had to handle over the years.
The first thing that Karnage decided she was going to do, once she was a he again, was cut out Baloo's tongue, and then sew his mouth shut.
"So what about you then?" Baloo suddenly asked her unexpectedly.
"Huh?" Karnage said, woken up out of her reverie.
"Where you from?" Baloo asked. "Spain? You got a Spanish accent."
Karnage nodded. "Yes, I am originally from Spain, though my mother was French." she answered. "I went to Paris once… a truly marvellous and magnificent culture of a city. You should go there some time."
Baloo laughed. "I'm afraid me and culture don't go well together."
"What a surprise," Karnage muttered.
"Afraid the only place where you'll see me getting any culture," Baloo acted as if he hadn't heard her, "is at the nearest dance club, or wherever there's a party where there's some music on." He clicked his fingers.
Karnage gave him a half-smile. 'What a buffoon,' she thought, and then decided the only way she could keep him from asking questions about herself, was if she kept asking questions about him, considerably boring as that might be.
"By the way," she asked. "Might I enquire you as to the origin of your name, Mr. Baloo? It doesn't exactly sound local, if you understand me?"
Baloo shrugged. "It isn't, it's Indian. The ones with the turbans, not the feathers."
"Ah," Karnage thought, a little bewildered. "Forgive me, but you don't exactly come across to me as an Indian man?"
Baloo laughed. "I'm not, but I was born in India. My folks were missionaries, helping out here and there around the country. I came along while they were still doing the Good Samaritan thing, and they named me Baloo, which is Indian for 'Bear'. They thought it suited me. Then when I was about five, they moved back here to the states, and eventually settled in Cape Suzette."
"Interesting," Karnage said. She had always wondered about his name to be honest.
"I have a couple of pals who still live in India," Baloo said, fiddling with the controls. "Old Kaa and Bagheera… Kaa's a bit of a freak, as he's always trying to hypnotise you. He's really into that stuff, something to do with his family or whatever. And Bagheera… he's the stiffest, most wooden guy to ever walk the earth. You'd swear he walks about with a broom stuck up under his tail all the time... "
Karnage nodded, attempting to look interested, but wasn't really listening, as she was too busy keeping an eye out for any sign of her glorious Iron Vulture.
"But they're good fellows," Baloo insisted. "They were always good fun to have around when we were kids. They live in a village somewhere around the jungle, last I heard from them."
Karnage muttered an "Uh huh", not taking her sights off the window and radar.
"So?" Baloo took his hands off the steering wheel and placed his feet, of all things, on it. He stretched his arms out, giving a huge sigh. "What do you like to do for fun, babe?"
Karnage shuddered in anger. The titles 'babe', 'gal', and 'honey-buns' were really starting to tick her off.
"Ummm… " she began, unsure of what to say. What do you say to a question like that, when the things you enjoy doing most of all is piracy?
"… I liiike… " she stuttered slightly. "… flying?"
Baloo laughed out loud, slapping his leg. "Man oh man, gal! You are SO perfect for me!"
Karnage shuddered.
"Any gal who likes flying has definitely got points on my book." Baloo added.
'Points?' Karnage felt more and more uneasy. Lord, help her! Baloo was not only flirting with her, he was measuring her up. Karnage knew that she was now an attractive woman, thanks to that moronic and soon to be decapitated Genie. This was all yet another wish gone haywire. She had wished to be someone that Baloo would take notice of, and that was exactly what she had got.
'No more wishes after tonight,' she promised. 'Or all millennium!'
Baloo tried to keep his eyes on the controls, to concentrate on the flying, but 'Donna Katherine' was making it unbelievably difficult. He just couldn't take his eyes off of her.
'Donna Katherine' was every guy's dream, with a pretty face and a beautiful accent… And man, did he ever dig that crazy accent of hers… Every time she spoke, it was like the temperature went up a few hundred degrees. Not to mention that possibly illegal dress that she was wearing, which was so tight that she looked more like she was wearing body-paint. She had a perfect figure, with a pair of slim legs, a cute fluffy tail, and the biggest pair of…
"Sodoyouknowhowtofly?" Baloo asked suddenly at top speed, and wiped his sweaty brow, smiling nervously.
0000000000
The Iron Vulture; Same Time:
Mad Dog sat twiddling his thumbs, as Dumptruck steered the ship. They had kept the ship hovering in the same airspace now for hours, as per the captain's orders. He had ordered them to remain there until they saw Baloo's plane, and then take him by surprise.
"Any sign of him, Dumptruck?" Mad Dog enquired, but all he got was a shake of his comrade's head.
"Not a sausage," he moaned. "Maybe the captain's plan didn't work?"
"Do his plans ever?" Mad Dog sneered slightly.
"Hold on!" Dumptruck suddenly said, his eyes thinning at the radar in front of him. "We've got something!"
"What is it?" Mad Dog asked quickly. "Is it Baloo?"
"Unsure," Dumptruck frowned. "But it's a small craft, which appears to fit the stature of Baloo's plane."
"Any other aircraft nearby?"
Dumptruck checked the scanner. "No," he confirmed.
Mad Dog seized the microphone and shouted, "All hands, prepare for battle!" He looked back to Dumptruck. "Keep the Vulture out of Baloo's radar. Trail back and sneak over his plane. By the time he even notices we're there, we'll catch him with the harpoon guns so fast, he won't know what hit him, and we'll reel him in like a fish out of sea!"
Dumptruck grinned. "Aye aye, sir!" he saluted, turning the ship's wheel.
0000000000
The Sea Duck:
"I am begging your pardon?" Karnage asked, bewildered.
Baloo swallowed, still looking at her. "I said, do you know how to fly?" he repeated.
Karnage snorted arrogantly. "I've been… " She stopped, realising that if she were to say yes, then that would lead to a lot more questions, and she was having enough trouble as it was trying to bluff her way out. "I have… I have always wanted to learn, but unfortunately I have never gotten the chance." she told him.
"Well!" Baloo stated. "Ain't no time like the present, honey! Park your buns over here and give it a try." he said, as he patted his knee.
The silence was so eerie; you could have heard a pin drop to the floor on the other side of the plane. Karnage looked at Baloo, who was waiting for her to accept his offer and come over.
'Ooo-kaaay,' she thought despairing. 'How in all heaven's almighty skies do I find a way out for myself this time?' She wondered where the heck her pirates were?
"Ummm…" Karnage thought quickly. "I am very flattered, as you say, Baloo. But alas I am… I am not so good with the machinery. I would only be risking damage to you, me and your plane."
Baloo shrugged her off. "Nah, don't worry your pretty little head off about that," he assured. "Just park yourself right here on my lap, and I won't let go of the stick till you're ready. Okay?"
Is this was Baloo's way of trying to make Karnage feel better, then he was doing a poor job of it.
"I, err… " Karnage stuttered.
Baloo laughed. "Relax, babe!" He put his hand down. "I'm only having you on."
Karnage felt the weight of the world drop off of her. "Oh!" she breathed in relief. "Thank you. I did not… "
"No need for you to fuss and worry," Baloo reached out and touched one of the levers. "In fact, there's no need for you to even get up out of your seat," he said, as he pulled the leverstick.
As he pulled the lever down, Karnage felt her chair wobble… and move. At first, she thought perhaps there had been another high wind tossing the plane, but then her chair suddenly seemed to whiz right across the cockpit, straight up to Baloo's side, where he wrapped his arm around Karnage's shoulders.
"One of my newest instalments to the Sea Duck," Baloo said proudly. "Just something in case I ever need to check the maps with my navigator. Saves him having to move all the way from the other side."
Karnage felt her shoulders starting to get heavy again, and Baloo's arm wasn't helping.
Baloo smirked, as he gave a small squeeze to Donna's shoulder. 'Man, if only Louie could see this,' he chuckled lowly, and then added out loud. "So how bout we give the flying lessons a go, huh?"
Karnage couldn't help but just gasp and stutter, which Baloo took as a sign of a simple case of the worries.
"Now don't you worry bout a thing, little missy," Baloo spoke to her like he would do to a child. "Old Babaloo is here to protect you. You're in no safer hands than his." He patted her shoulder.
'By God I wish I could believe that,' Karnage prayed.
"Now, just take the stick in your hand," Baloo told her, taking her hand gently and guiding it to the steering wheel stick. "Hold it niiice and steady… "
Karnage rolled her eyes, as she knew all this from her childhood when her father had taught her, or him as he was at the time. But knew better than to let Baloo know that she was not interested, for fear of being found out. She couldn't be sure, but for all she knew, he was suspicious enough already.
Baloo breathed heavily, wanting to grab something and bang his head against. Darn, he didn't know whether he should make a move on this girl, or keep his distance? She seemed to have a bit of a business spark, like Becky, but that dress of hers didn't exactly fit in with the whole profile. He just wished he knew what her sign was?
"Thank you," she said, getting up, "but I am not in the mood as of the moment. Perhaps some other time?"
"Awww, come on," Baloo said, trying to coax her into sitting back down. "Ain't nothing to worry about. Like I told ya, old Baloo will be here."
"I'm sure you will, but…" Karnage never got to finish what she was about to say. For at that moment, another huge gust of wind blew against the whole of the Sea Duck. It didn't cause any damage, but the turbulence did cause the plane to give a sharp jilt to the left.
"WHOAAA!" Karnage yelped as she dove forward, her body falling straight into Baloo's open arm, where her face fell right smack into Baloo's...
[SSSMAAAACK!]
Baloo and Karnage's lips smacked into one another's, their lips locked, followed by a loud kiss that sounded more like a plunger, which was followed by an ever louder popping sound as they disconnected themselves from each other.
Karnage felt like grabbing the nearest airsick bag to empty all the contents of her digestive system, and rushing to the bathroom to grab all the toothpaste and mouthwash she could find. "Dear God in heaven," she moaned, not caring if Baloo heard her or not.
As for Baloo, a small brief look of surprise had crossed his face from the kiss, lasting only for one second, followed by…
"YAAA-HOOOOO!" Baloo exclaimed, leaping up into the air, and nearly crushing his seat when he came back down. He needed no further encouragement at that point, and thus wasted no more time, as he grabbed the rope by the foot of his seat and tied it to the steering wheel (his version of an autopilot).
"Come to Poppa!" Baloo said excitedly, holding out his arms and puckering his lips.
Karnage also needed no further encouragement of what to do next, and slipped down through Baloo's arms, making a dash for the door and into the cargo-hold.
"Ho-ho! I luv it when a girl plays hard to get!" Baloo said, and darted in after her.
0000000000
With everything that was going on in the Sea Duck, Baloo never noticed what was about to descend upon his plane from outside, and up above. For that last bit of turbulence that blew his plane to the left was no natural wind at all, but a gust of air propelled by the jets of the pirate's air-ship, The Iron Vulture.
"How close are we?" Mad Dog asked his second in command.
Dumptruck checked the radar. "Yah, we are right over' em! We can hook' em right now!"
Mad Dog raised his arm. "Steady as she goes! Prepare to fire on my signal!"
0000000000
Karnage gave an eek, and dashed to the other side of the plane, with Baloo hot on her tail.
"Ready or not, here I come!" Baloo laughed. He loved it when girls played 'chase' with him.
Since this was a small plane, Karnage had barely run a few steps before she found herself trapped on the far side of the plane. Baloo soon had her cornered, and went to grab her, his lips looking like that of a Blowfish.
"Mmmm… [Smack!Smack!Smack!Smack!Smack!…]"
Baloo must have puckered his lips at least several times before he finally realised that Katherine had once more made a duck, and he was kissing the wall.
Karnage tried to dodge him, making a break for the cockpit, hoping to contact her pirates, but this time Baloo was too quick for her, and hugged his arms right around her waist, preventing her escape.
Karnage played along briefly, giving him a half-smile and dripping his lips with her finger as they came closer… before slapping him on the head and jumping out of his grasp yet again.
Baloo laughed, chasing after her again, having the time of his life. This was better than Tag.
Karnage dashed over crates and boxes, as Baloo tried to catch up with her, thinking that she was still playing.
'This is what I get,' Karnage thought exhausted. 'For not exercising regularly.'
"Gotcha!" Baloo said victoriously, finally catching her, with his arms wrapped right around her. "So now, where's my prize?" he said, as he turned her around and gave her a big bear hug, lifting her up to his eye-level, his face just a few inches away.
"Mr. Baloo!" Karnage demanded. "I demand that you release me at once, and go bathe yourself in ice-cold water!"
0000000000
The Iron Vulture's main hangar doors opened, and their harpoon guns took aim, as the ship hovered right over the Sea Duck.
"Fire!" Mad Dog ordered, slamming his hand.
Dumptruck quickly followed his acting captain's order, punching the appropriate buttons and switches.
0000000000
Baloo hugged 'Donna Katherine' close, leaning his face forward.
Karnage gagged, as Baloo held her in his steel-grip. She pulled her head back as far as she could, with Baloo's lips now less than a few millimetres from hers.
[Smack! Smack! Smack!] Baloo's lips sounded as they smacked themselves together, his face slowly moving closer and closer to Karnage's own now-delicate lips. It was like watching a giant monster-blowfish descending down to devour her.
Karnage shut her eyes, not wanting to look. 'Into the jaws of death rode the six hundred…' she thought.
But just then, just when she started to feel Baloo's breath on her, something seemed to slam right into the side of the plane, followed by the splitting sound of metal.
"Huh?" Baloo blinked, pulling his head back, resulting in a beyond relieved Karnage. "What the…?"
Karnage sighed in relief. 'Remind me to give my men a bonus,' she mentally noted.
The sound was of course that of the harpoon guns, as they punched right through the Sea Duck's exterior, like a whaling gun. Unfortunately, as they hooked onto Baloo's plane, the super-strong chains of the harpoons held tight, and the Sea Duck came to a sudden direct halt in mid-air.
"WHOAAA!" Baloo and Karnage both yelled, as the sudden halt of the plane sent Baloo diving forward, with Karnage still in his arms.
Baloo dove straight ahead, at the speed equal to that of an Express train, to where his mattress was, but unfortunately he did not have the good fortune to fall onto it, at least not at first. Instead, he slammed his head right into the plane's metal (and unbelievably hard) interior wall.
"Uhhh… " Baloo groaned, as he pulled his head out of the wall, still holding Karnage, and seeing tiny replicas of the Sea Duck flying around his head.
"Mr. Ba-loo?" Karnage gasped for breath, as Baloo was now, in his banged up confusion, still holding onto her. The only problem now was that his bear hug had graduated from steel-grip… to bone-crushing suffocation.
"Oh, Louie?" Baloo's eyes rolled about in his head, watching as his plane seemingly did the loop-de-loop. "I think I'll have the Crackatuo special… and Becky, just to give you a heads up… I think I'll be taking the next few days off… Goodnight, Mom… Ohhh."
With that, Baloo collapsed forward and fell right onto the mattress… while he was still holding the lady Karnage.
"On second thought!" Karnage screamed, as she fell backwards with the heavy Baloo falling on top of her. "Remind me to have my men sliced, diced, and then use their guts for garters!"
0000000000
The hangar doors slowly closed, as the Sea Duck was reeled in. The Air Pirates gathered together, cheering and clanging their swords together at their victory.
"All right, men!" Mad Dog raised his sword. "Let's have about and do some plundering at long last. Because by gum, it's high time that we did!"
The men cheered, and raced forward with Mad Dog and Dumptruck leading the way, all brandishing their swords. They reached the main door of the Sea Duck, and with a kick of their feet, they forced the door open, charged inside… and stopped.
As Mad Dog, Dumptruck, and a few others came inside. They saw to their left the unmistakable bulk of their gang's most hated foe, Baloo the pilot, lying still on a mattress over to the side. The pirates stared at him, and each other, curiously.
As they inspected him closer, they heard the muffled sounds of moaning and yelling coming from him, but it was definitely not Baloo who was speaking, as these sounds were that of a lady. Plus, it sounded as though they were coming from beneath him?
As they walked over to Baloo, it was clear that he was unconscious, and upon nearing him they could make out a pair of tiny little hands and feet that were waving about madly, on either side, from under him.
Dumptruck blinked a little, and then tried unsuccessfully to resist a grin, as he smirked at the unconscious Baloo who he assumed must have been in the middle of something when they attacked.
Mad Dog at first covered his eyes in embarrassment, but couldn't resist sneaking another peek a moment later.
A few of the men sniggered behind them.
"Looks like Baloo was in the middle of entertaining someone when we fired," one of them said, chuckling under his breath.
After a few moments more of staring, they finally took notice of the muffled shouts coming from beneath Baloo, and then hurried forward to move the huge round groaning pilot.
Karnage laid flat on the mattress, on which Baloo had squashed her into, her nose pushed right into her face. She moaned, as she slowly lifted her fingers creakingly from the mattress, and popped her nose out.
"I think… " She breathed. "… We need to work a little on your timing."
Mad Dog and Dumptruck on the other hand had other words they wanted to say…
"Hubba hubba, baby!"
"What's a nice thing like you doin in a dump like this?"
Karnage however was not impressed. "First of all," she said, and then slapped each of their faces. "Naughty pirates! Have you no appreciation for poetry or romance? And second… Treasure!"
Mad Dog and Dumptruck instantly went rigid at the sound of the password that Don Karnage had given them before he left.
"Cap-cap'n?" Dumptruck stuttered in disbelief.
"Is that… you?" Mad Dog asked amazed.
Karnage sighed, and simply nodded.
Mad Dog however was obviously not too convinced, and lifted his fingers up closer to Karnage's chest…
"OW!" Mad Dog squealed, as Karnage belted him right on the head.
Dumptruck nodded. "Yah, that's the cap'n, all right." he said, and everyone quickly saluted their now apparently female captain.
Karnage however had no time for explanations, or other such pleasantries, and was quick to start giving orders again. "My men, you will take Baloo away and have him locked up in our most darkest and incredibly inhospitable cell! Mad Dog, Dumptruck, inform me immediately when he regains consciousness! I will be in my quarters, making myself look more presentable!"
Mad Dog and Dumptruck gave each other a strange look.
"Me thinks the captain's been in this form for too long?" Dumptruck whispered to his comrade, making Mad Dog snigger as a reply.
"Oh, and one more thing…" Karnage said finally. She walked up to Mad Dog and Dumptruck. "Just out of curiosity, which one of the crew was it who gave the order to capture the Sea Duck with the harpoons, and who was it that pressed the controls to do so?"
"That would be us, captain!" they both replied proudly.
"Ah, I thought so," Karnage smiled briefly…
[BAM!]
Karnage sent both of them flying through the air and straight into the wall, as she landed a solid punch to each of their faces.
"Next time!" she ordered. "Before you do so rash a thing… Try contacting your would-be plunder first, give them the opportunity to surrender… AND THEN FIRE!" she yelled, and marched off.
Dumptruck nursed his aching black eye. "I think I preferred the cap'n when he was male. He was less high-strung then."
To Be Continued…