Case Docket 2 - Daily Life Under Chaotic Conditions

Satsuke was sleeping soundly when a loud knock broke the silence, making him bolt upright. After catching his breath, he put on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, then ran out to the hallway to be met by Mako. "What was that?" he asked.

"Someone at th' door," the mermaid replied. "From th' look o' ye, ye ain't expectin' company."

"Come," the policeman said, taking the handlebars of Mako's wheelchair, "let's see who's come to visit."

The two were at the bottom of the stairs when the hatch to the attic flew open. "Whoever it is better have a good fucking reason for waking us up," Tara snarled.

The arachne took a threatening posture behind Satsuke when he opened the door, and immediately shrank back when she saw who was at the door. Their visitor was a woman in a tailored suit not unlike what Smith often wore. The main difference was that she was easily over nine feet tall with a sharp, tapered horn coming out of her forehead, and built like she could bust through concrete with little to no effort. The young man also took note of another of their visitor's attributes, namely a bust that could easily put Centoria's to shame. When he was finally able to pry his eyes away from her bosom, he saw a very cute and cheerful face that instantly put him at ease. "Hi, Satsi-kun!" she said with a wave and a smile. "I'm Tionishia! I'll be coming by to pick up your reports for the rest of the week!" She then looked at the policeman's disheveled appearance and frowned. "Oh, no," she said, "I didn't mean to wake you all up."

Out of the people from the Agency that he met, Nakamura found that he liked this very large girl immediately. He noticed that even Tara seemed to calm down considerably. "Oh, it's no trouble," he said reassuringly. "Please, come in. I'll go make breakfast."

Tionishia smiled and entered the house, followed by a pretty lamia with short, stylish blonde hair and golden eyes with slit pupils. She was built similarly to Miia, except that her lower half was slimmer by a slight margin. The clothes she wore were as stylish as her hair, and did much to accentuate her figure. Unlike Miia, her scales were of a polished bronze color with a black, crisscrossed pattern, with similarly colored scales on her forearms and black fingernails that looked almost like claws. "Hi guys!" the lamia said with a smile. "I'm Piper Diamond! Those Agency guys tell me that I'm gonna be living here."

Another homestay? Nakamura thought to himself. Just when I thought I might be able to take the girls out at some point. "Welcome, Piper," he said. "I am Officer Satsuke Nakamura, and this is Tara and Mako. It is my hope that we can all become good friends."

"Yar," the mermaid said as she backed her chair up. "I be Mako th' Merciless. Welcome aboard, ye landlubber."

Satsuke looked at Tara and saw an expression that he never expected to see: worry. "Charmed," she said softly.

The lamia looked around and whistled. "Wow, Coach," she said cheerfully, "this place is sweet! Looks like I can actually slither around without knocking stuff over!" She then spat in her hand and shook Nakamura's vigorously. "I think we'll be great pals!"

The arachne's eyes went wide with horror when she heard a rattling sound when Piper enthusiastically shook her tail. "Oh, shit," Tara said before quickly scuttling up the stairs.

Satsuke didn't see Tara's terrified reaction. He didn't even realize that he was screaming. He was only aware of the pain that shot through his arm. "What did ye do t' me Chum!" Mako shouted.

Piper looked down at her hand, then slapped her forehead. "Oh crap, I did it again. You guys got any anti-venom?"

"Stay with me, Chum," Mako said when Nakamura collapsed, sweating profusely.

The policeman was oblivious to the way Tionishia gently picked him up, cradling him as if he were an injured kitten. He didn't even realize he lost consciousness until he found himself in his bed, his sheets soaked with sweat. If he had the strength to move, he would've seen that the sun was setting through his bedroom window. "Are you all right, Nakamura-kun?" a familiar voice said, putting a damp towel on his forehead.

"Smith," he weakly replied, "I'm okay. My arm is throbbing, though."

"That sometimes happens to people who shake hands with a careless echidna," the agent said.

"Echidna? You mean-"

"Yes, she's part viper. A diamond-back rattlesnake lamia, to be exact. Even though it was a small amount of venom, you got lucky."

Satsuke read a little bit about echidnae. There wasn't much information about them, except that they are related to lamiae as a species, and that they were to be approached with extreme caution. The only reasons given were their potent venom, and that they can be either easily startled, or quick to anger. "Where are the girls?" he asked when he noticed that the girls weren't in the room.

Smith pointed at the door to show Mako and Piper staring at him. "Come in, girls," Satsuke said, smiling weakly.

"God, Coach, I'm so sorry," Piper said, her golden eyes red from crying. "I didn't mean to hurt you like that."

"It's okay, Piper," the policeman said. "Accidents happen... a lot."

"When'll Chum be ship-shape, Smith?" Mako asked.

"It's too soon to say," the agent replied softly, "but we expect him to make a full recovery."

The mermaid turned to the echidna angrily. "Consider yerself lucky, ye filthy serpent."

"Please," Nakamura said weakly, "don't hate her, Mako. I want you all to be friends." He scanned the room, then looked to Smith. "Where's Tara?"

The agent pointed to a dark corner of the room. He could barely see the outline of the large arachne snoring softly. "She was the one who saved you," she said. "Her breed is also venomous, although it's much milder. She knows how to treat someone who's been envenomed. She even has a special first aid kit for just that.

"She refused to leave your side, Nakamura-kun," she said. Smith then addressed the other girls, saying, "Let's go. He still needs his rest, but don't worry, he'll be fine."

Mako leaned over and kissed Satsuke's forehead, then smiled sweetly. Piper waved awkwardly, clearly not wanting to chance hurting him again. She then wheeled the mermaid out, apologizing the entire time. Smith fed Nakamura some water after giving him pain pills, then left the room. "Get some rest," she said before shutting off the light, unaware that the policeman had already fallen asleep.

When Satsuke woke up again, it was nighttime. The policeman noticed that, while his sheets were still damp, they were drier than they were before. He tried reaching out for his water bottle, but couldn't get to it. Suddenly, he felt a furry, chitinous claw clasp his wrist gently and put the bottle in his hand. "You're going to need all the water you can get," Tara said softly. "Your body is sweating out the remainder of the toxins in your blood. You'll be fine, though. Thankfully, I got to you in time.

"I've known a lot of her kind of echidnae where I'm from," the arachne continued. "They taught me everything they know, since their kind needs human males to mate with them and they can't risk killing them. From what I can tell, she's not bad; she's just a knucklehead."

Satsuke sat up slowly with Tara's help. "How's your arm?"

"Sore, but better."

"Good. Close your eyes, Fuzz. I'm going to turn on the lights so I can examine your arm. I can see nearly perfectly in the dark, but I have trouble making out details."

Satsuke did as she instructed; despite closing his eyes, he still felt his eyes stinging. When the pain subsided, his vision was able to adjust to the changing light. He saw the arachne looking over his arm thoroughly, sometimes poking it gently with a claw. When he'd yelp, she'd simply nod. "Good," she said, "you still have feeling. Your arm looks okay, but I needed to check if there was any nerve damage." She then put her lips to his forehead. "Excellent, your fever broke." She then looked at him and smiled. "You had everyone worried."

Satsuke finished the water bottle. The liquid was lukewarm, but to his parched throat, it was the greatest thing in the world. Tara took the spent bottle and put another open one in his hands. "Thank you, Tara," he said. He then looked at her and smiled. For the first time, he noticed how full her lips were, and how young her round face made her look. "You look like an angel," he said.

"Delusions are known to happen in some," the arachne said with a smirk, "but it passes shortly."

"You look like one because you are, Tara," Satsuke retorted softly. "The others said that you never left my side. Only angels are like that."

"There has been a lot that's happened in my life that I've never forgiven," she said, choking back sobs. "But most of all, I would've never forgiven myself if I didn't get to you in time."

Satsuke gently embraced the arachne, who then buried her face into his chest and cried uncontrollably. When she stopped, she looked up at him and asked, "Why are you so good to me?"

"We're friends, aren't we?" he replied with a smile.

Tara smiled back. "Yeah, Fuzz," she replied, "I guess we are. Now, get some sleep. If you need anything, just let me, Fish Face, or Knucklehead know."

She got up and went to the door. Before she turned off the light, she looked back at him. "Don't forget," she said with a smile, "I'm watching you, Fuzz."

"I'm glad, Tara. Good night."

x

Breakfast the following day was tense, but peaceful. Satsuke wasn't surprised to see that Mako hadn't yet forgiven Piper for the accident. The most obvious indication of the mermaid's ire were the angry glares in the echidna's direction. It was Tara's lack of apparent hostility that surprised him. While she wasn't exactly friendly to the new homestay, the arachne was gracious and civil.

He had only just begun his report when he heard the door open and Smith enter the room. Ever since the incident with Piper, he found that he liked the agent a little more. Despite how condescending he found her, he could see that, deep down, she was a good person. "Hello, Nakamura-kun!" she purred. "I'm just coming by to let you know that the girls can be left at home unsupervised starting tomorrow. Tara has shown amazing progress under your care, and while Mako can still be unruly, she's calmed down considerably since she's known you."

"You mean I get my patrols back?" Nakamura asked excitedly. "This is great news! So why is Piper here?"

"Well, you remember that little incident yesterday?" Smith began. "That's not the first time it's happened. Thankfully, no one was seriously hurt. This probably wouldn't have happened if her scales hadn't scratched your hands. My guess is that she may be shedding soon. From what little we know about them, they do learn to control how much venom they release eventually. Clearly, Piper hasn't learned."

The agent continued, "The progress the girls have made has shown that you have a good effect on the more dangerous species. Secondly, you have a venomous breed in your house who knows how to control her venom, and that, according to your reports, has good manners, despite her apparent demeanor. We hope that Tara can give Piper a few lessons."

Smith then handed the young policeman a stack of paperwork. "Of course, we will need to see how Piper gets along with the others by tonight," she said with a wink. "We expect a thorough report by this afternoon."

As if on cue, the sound of a vase smashing upstairs accompanied by Piper shouting and Mako cackling reverberated through the house. Smith opened the door and, before leaving, smiled cheerfully. "Do your best!"

When the door closed, Satsuke ran upstairs to investigate the cause of the commotion. Not surprisingly, Mako was inebriated and wheeling through the hallways. Piper was chasing after her, shaking her scaled fist. "What's going on here?!" he yelled.

"Coach!" the echidna whined. "Make Mako give me my fucking panties back!"

"Never, ye landlubber!" the mermaid laughed heartily.

It was then that Satsuke saw the drunken mermaid waving her cutlass, wearing what appeared to be something lacy covering her eye, before speeding off. The young man's only reaction was to scratch his head. "Huh, so that's what a lamia's panties look like," he said.

"Perv!" she said before whipping her tail at him, sending him flying down the hallway into a wall. With that, Piper resumed her chase.

Satsuke found the scene too ridiculous to be angry about it. Suddenly, he heard a voice shouting, "Dammit, some of us are trying to sleep around here!" and then silence. When he investigated, he couldn't help but laugh when he saw both Mako and Piper encased in webbing up to their necks.

The policeman then went to get a pair of shears to cut them loose, but not before taking the echidna's underwear off the mermaid's pouting face. "Come, girls," he said softly as he freed them from her silk prison. "Go downstairs, I'll make us some lunch."

"Awesome!" Piper exclaimed enthusiastically. "You're a way better cook than that agent lady. Her cooking's nasty."

"It's passable," Tara muttered. "I may as well get something to eat since some people can't shut the fuck up while someone's trying to sleep. Now outta the way."

With that, Tara grabbed the echidna by the back of the neck and hurled her into a wall as she scuttled past. Satsuke was about to scold the arachne when her heard Mako say, "Ne'er seen 'er take t' someone that quick. Th' stupid bint may be right: ye must be havin' a calmin' effect on 'er."

Nakamura simply raised an eyebrow, remembering the day he met Tara and what she did to him. He also remembered what she had done to the man who tried to assault her. "So, it depends on the kind of wall?" he asked as he wheeled her to the lift.

"Aye," the mermaid replied with a chuckle. "If it's th' wall that takes more damage than th' one gettin' thrown, then she's jus' playin'."

When he stepped into the kitchen, Tara thrust a piece of paper bearing a recipe for burritos into the policeman's hands. "Try asking what we want to eat for once," the arachne growled.

"Wow, what a bitch," Piper mumbled.

"Watch it, Knucklehead!" the arachne yelled as she went for the echidna's throat.

"Tara," Satsuke admonished, "not at the table." He then winked at Piper when she started to protest.

Tara bared her fangs. "Don't screw it up, Fuzz," she snarled. "That's a family recipe you're fucking with."

"I understand," the policeman said with a smile. "I promise I will do my best."

Lunch didn't take long to cook. The meal was even more tense at first, with Tara angrily glaring at Satsuke until she took her first bite. "Did I do all right?" he asked the arachne.

Tara gave a low growl. "You did okay, I guess," she said. "Next time, I'm helping."

"Please do!" Satsuke responded happily. "I'd welcome some help in the kitchen."

"Are they always like that?" Piper whispered to Mako.

"Aye," the mermaid replied between mouthfuls. "If ye wanna know what I think, I think she 'as a thing for 'im." She then winked. "Not I can blame 'er."

The echidna looked Satsuke over. "I can see why," she said. "He is kinda cute."

"Watch it, Knucklehead," the arachne said, pounding the table. "Last I knew, that shit's prohibited, so get that thought out of your head right now. Got it?"

"Jeez, can't a girl look?" Piper asked.

"Just don't get any ideas," Tara said.

"Fine," the echidna said, rolling her eyes.

The rest of the meal was peaceful enough, but a little too awkward for Satsuke's liking. He then became aware of something rubbing against his ankle. Looking down, he saw what looked like Piper's tail. He raised his head, trying to keep his expression stoic. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Piper gazing at him with a sultry expression. "Was everything to your liking?" Satsuke asked after clearing his throat.

"Those were the best burritos I've ever eaten," Piper said enthusiastically. "You guys gonna eat the rest?"

"Go ahead," the policeman replied when the others declined.

With that, she put all the food which must have weighed nearly three pounds onto a plate, opened her mouth impossibly wide, then swallowed it all whole. When she saw the shocked and disgusted looks on everyone's faces, she asked, "What? Never seen a girl unhinge her jaw before?"

"No," Satsuke said with a chuckle. "I can't say I have. However, I think I speak for all of us when I ask that you don't do that again at the table."

"Aye," the mermaid agreed, "that's downright nasty."

"You're one to talk, Fish Face," Tara retorted. "It's bad enough that I have to teach Knucklehead some manners. Am I going to have to teach you, too?"

"Them's fightin' words, Legs!"

"Okay, enough!" the young man said firmly. "Mako, I can't say as I disagree with Tara."

"Ye takin' 'er side, Chum? I thought we was mates!"

Satsuke smiled warmly. "We are, Mako," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "You've come a long way, but your table manners still need some work. I'm also becoming concerned with your drinking. Can you at least keep it down while I'm gone?"

"Aye aye, Chum," the mermaid sighed. She then looked up with a smile and said, "Sorry 'bout that, and sorry, Legs. We still mates?"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever, Fish Face."

"Wow, I can just feel the love," Piper groused.

"Can it, Knucklehead!" the arachne growled. "You're gonna have to learn how things go in this house."

"Calm down, Legs," Mako said, smiling. She then turned to the echidna. "Ye're gonna have t' get t' know 'ow Legs is, Pipes. I've known 'er a lot longer than ye."

"Exactly, Piper," the policeman added. "We're all family here, and you're now a part of it. Am I right?"

"Aye aye, Chum!" Mako said with a toothy grin.

"Yeah, whatever, Fuzz," Tara grumbled.

"Now," the policeman said as he stood up, "I need to get my paperwork done. Please try to keep it down, at least until I'm done."

Despite the accident the day before setting him back, he was able to get his work done quickly. He discovered that his office was soundproofed when he looked through the window and saw Piper chasing Mako, then saw the echidna flying in the other direction. In his report, he noted that, overall, the girls got along well. He also noted that whatever altercations that had occurred amounted to simple rough-housing, usually between Tara and Piper. According to his report, Mako's progress remained slow but consistent. The mermaid's initial animosity towards Piper seemed to have lessened considerably. He noted Tara's temper was likely because she was quite sensitive, and that her manner of speaking may be more a result of her upbringing. Finally, he reported that the echidna seemed very friendly, charming, and even-tempered. He noted that, other than her venom, Piper seemed no more dangerous than the average lamia. This being said, he wrote, further observation will be necessary.

Tionishia came in just as the policeman signed the reports. "Hi, Satsi-kun," the girl greeted with a big smile. "How're you feeling?"

Satsuke smiled back. "Ahh, hello, Tionishia," he said. "My arm's only a little sore, but I'm much better."

The girl pouted. "Call me 'Tio,'" she said.

The young man quickly apologized and handed Tio the papers. "On your way out, could you send Tara in here?" he asked.

"Of course," Tio replied, smiling again.

Piper went flying by the window the moment the large girl left the room. Tio quickly caught the echidna, and gently set her on the floor. Tara came into the office fifteen minutes later and shut the door behind her. "What's up?" she asked.

"I'm going to turn in early," Satsuke said. "Would you mind holding down the fort while I'm asleep?"

"Isn't that your job?" the arachne snapped.

"I'm resuming my patrols tomorrow," he explained, "and you seem like someone I can count on completely to handle things while I'm at work."

The faintest hint of a smile crept onto Tara's face. "Yeah, whatever, Fuzz," she grumbled after forcing her smile away.

"Thank you, Tara," Satsuke said.

"Right," the arachne said as she walked away. She then turned her head and smiled. "Don't forget, Fuzz," she said, "I'm watching you."

As Satsuke went upstairs, he heard the large arachne yelling at the others, followed by a loud crash. "Tara," he shouted, "please keep your playing to a minimum while I'm trying to sleep."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he heard Tara shout back. "Go the fuck to bed already."

Nakamura smiled. "Good night."

x

His first day back at work went surprisingly smoothly. Overall, it was uneventful. Most of the incidents involved teenagers being nuisances, so it was nothing he couldn't handle. The worst of it involved a harpy in ganguro makeup trying to mate with him. Even with that happening, people around him noticed that he didn't seem nearly as jittery as he used to be. He chalked this up to the fact that his homestays were three of the more dangerous species that had come to Japan. The policeman was grateful for the fact that Tara knew how to cook, and cook well. He didn't want to risk having Mako do the cooking due to her drinking, and Piper could be scatter-brained at best.

When he walked through the door after his patrol, he was surprised at how tidy the house was. He expected that the mermaid had trashed the house since her intoxicated rampages would go unchecked, but this was amazingly not the case. He was even more surprised to see all three of his homestays waiting for him. "Hiya Coach!" Piper said with grin. "Welcome home!"

Mako wheeled over and smacked Satsuke's rear. "Ahoy, Chum!"

"Fuzz," Tara said with only the faintest hint of a smile.

"Hello, girls," he greeted. "The house looks great!"

"Yeah," the arachne remarked, "it's amazing how few things get broken when a certain mermaid is wrapped in a web."

"Hey, Coach! Some guys were here and installed a sun lamp! They even remodeled the bathroom!" the echidna said enthusiastically. "Now I can comfortably take a bath and warm up first thing in the morning. That is, if you don't mind sharing some of your body heat," Piper said with a wink.

"Ye keep ye're hands off me Chum, ye scaly tart!" Mako yelled.

"Bite me, Fish Face!" the lamia shouted.

"Only I'm allowed to call her Fish Face, Knucklehead," Tara growled before easily throwing Piper down the hallway, embedding her in the wall.

"Please, girls," Satsuke said, "if you're going to fight, please keep it down while I make dinner. I'll let you know when it's ready."

"Aye aye, Chum," Mako said with a salute.

"I'll help, if you don't mind," Tara added as she followed him to the kitchen. "I need to make sure you don't poison us."

While still in the wall, Piper gave a thumbs-up in reply. "I'll 'elp Pipes out o' th' wall," the mermaid sighed.

After the mermaid pried Piper from the wall on her way to the elevator, the echidna decided to take a bath to clean off the plaster. Meanwhile, in the kitchen, the policeman found the large arachne a valuable assistant, as well as a very pleasant one. Thus, dinner was completed in record time. However, while they were setting the table, they heard an ear-splitting scream coming from the bathroom. "That sounded like Knucklehead," Tara said with surprising concern.

Together, they raced towards the bathroom and, after the policeman failed to get the door opened, the arachne was successful with a single well-placed punch. When they went in, they found the bathroom surprisingly empty, despite the bath being full and showing signs of use. "Piper!" Satsuke called. "Where are you? Are you hurt?"

He heard a muffled cry at the other end of the room where the door was. When it fell to the floor, it revealed a naked echidna embedded in the wall again. After the policeman looked at Tara with an expectant expression, she shrugged and peeled Piper from the wall and laid her down. "Where is it?!" she squealed when she came to. "Get it off, get it off! My face hurts so bad."

"Where's what, Knucklehead?" the arachne grumbled. "I don't see anything other than a bruised idiot."

"Look at her face," Satsuke said. "It's really red and irritated. Mako, get a cold, wet cloth and some antiseptic ointment. I'll get her clothes."

At the table, Piper explained that, after she got out of her bath, something resembling tar flew out of the toilet attacked her. She then said that she was only able to get it off her head by submerging it in the bathwater. Despite Mako and Tara's skepticism, Satsuke promised to keep a lookout for anything strange. "After all," he said, "her face seems to have minor chemical burns. I honestly don't think she was imagining it.

"Now, let's eat," he concluded.

Dinner went by without incident. Satsuke suggested that whatever attacked the echidna was vulnerable to large quantities of water, since she could get it off her head by dunking it in the bathtub. "Yar, I 'eard tales o' such creatures from me people," Mako said after some thought. "Sounds like a slime t' me. 'Tis strange, though. We always thought they was nothin' but fish tales."

"With all due respect, Mako," Satsuke said with a wry grin, "until recently, we didn't think you folks really existed, either."

The mermaid shrugged. "True," she said, shoveling another entire helping of chicken in her mouth.

The rest of the night turned out to be quite enjoyable. Tara washed the dishes while Mako watched concert footage of a band called Running Wild. Satsuke talked with Piper, explaining to her a little about how her new housemates interact with each other. "So, where are you from, Piper?"

"The beautiful Anzo-Beraga desert in sunny southern California," she replied with a smile, "and before you offer sympathy, girls like me prefer hot and dry places. I've got the 'cold-blooded' thing going for me, so the hot sun is my best friend. Just give me a nice, cool drink, and I'm a happy echidna!

"Has anyone ever told you how cute you are, Coach?" Piper asked with a dreamy look in her eyes.

"Not until recently," he replied with an awkward chuckle.

Satsuke covered his face to hide his blushing, then looked away. When he did, he saw an expression on Tara's face that he'd never seen before. Is she jealous? he asked himself.

"Look, Coach," Piper said, "while I have my tribe where I came from, I'm not that close to them. We simply band together. Did you really mean what you said about how you wanted us all to be a family?"

"Yeah, he did," Tara said with a glare. "That's because Fuzz is almost as much of an idiot as you are. Now outta the way."

As the large arachne got went by, she picked Piper up and, once again, sent her flying into the wall. "This is going to happen all the time, isn't it?" she groaned when she fell to the floor.

"Relax, Pipes," Mako said, "that's 'ow ye know she likes ye."

Satsuke decided to turn in early after dinner. Between being on his bicycle for the first time in days and the slime incident, he was exhausted. Piper was playing video games while Tara cleaned up around the house. Mako was downstairs swimming. The peace was shattered by a scream down the hall. "Shit," Tara yelled, "that came from Fuzz's room."

"Throw me down the basement stairs so I can get Mako," Piper shouted.

Minutes later, the three girls were at Satsuke's bedroom door, which Tara opened like she did the bathroom door. When they turned on the bedroom lights, they saw the policeman cowering in the corner in a white shirt and boxer shorts, and a black splatter where the door hit the wall. "Are you all right, Coach?" Piper asked, helping the policeman to his feet.

Satsuke nodded and said, "Tara, call MON now. Mako, get the sprinkler control. Piper, you and I will try and lure it downstairs. Everybody got that?"

The mermaid and arachne left promptly, while Piper rattled her tail. "Come on, Sludgy," she hissed, "come get some!"

The slime's reply was to dissolve the door, but the two were already down the hall while it was coalescing. "Hang on, Coach," the echidna said as she grabbed Satsuke's ankle with her tail, "it's gonna get bumpy."

Before the young man could say anything, he felt himself being dragged down the stairs, his head hitting every step on the way. While he had hoped she would be gentler about it, he understood that she was a lot faster than he, and that speed was of the essence. Despite how fast they went, the slime got close enough to lash out at them. It would have caught them had it not gotten sucked up, as if by a vacuum cleaner. "Yo, Fresh Meat!" a familiar voice greeted. "You okay over there?"

When Satsuke nodded, she continued, "What the Hell did you hope to accomplish by going down here?"

It was Piper who answered. "When it attacked me, I was able to get it off me by dunking my head into the bathtub. I think what Coach had in mind was to get as close to as large of a body of water as possible in case one of us got engulfed again, so he chose Mako's pool."

"Wow, Fresh Meat," Zombina said with a whistle, "that's some quick thinking! Me and the crew could use some tactical minds like yours!"

"Well," Satsuke said, sheepishly running his fingers through his hair, "I am a police officer."

"Damn, Knucklehead," Tara began, "maybe you're not such an idiot after all. You actually managed to figure that out all by yourself."

The echidna noticed that, while her choice of words was sarcastic, her tone suggested that she was genuinely impressed and was being sincerely congratulatory. "So, where's the slime, anyway?" Satsuke asked.

Zombina dramatically revealed a translucent, vacuum-packed container marked with biohazard symbols containing the black slime, with two red eyes peering back, glowing hatefully. Occasionally, it would lunge towards whoever got close to it. "Ooh, it's an ornery li'l scallywag, innit?" Mako said. She then got close to it and said, "I say we send it down t' Davey Jones's locker."

"What are we gonna do with it?" Tara asked.

"Zombina," Satsuke said, "bring the vat to the bathroom. Piper, put the vat in the middle of the tub and draw a bath."

"Fresh Meat," the zombie said, clapping the policeman on the back, "I'm talkin' to Smith in the morning. We seriously could use minds like yours. How'd you come up with that, anyway?"

"Mako gave me that idea with her threat," the policeman replied. "Zombina, would you mind keeping an eye on it overnight?"

"You got it!" she said with a nod. "I'd be the best choice out of all of us since I literally don't need to sleep."

"I'll get my sewing needle," Tara interjected.

"What for?" the zombie asked.

"I figured you could use a hand," she replied with a wry grin, holding up the zombie's hand.

Zombina held up her arm. "Oh god dammit," she groused. "Piper, you bring the vat. I'll be right up after the spider stitches me back up."

Moments later, the group were in the bathroom with the vat containing the slime in the middle of the tub of water. "Look, you guys," the zombie said, "you all need to get some sleep. I'll have Smith get a crew so we can make a room for our little friend here.

"Speaking of which, who's Fresh Meat gonna bunk with?"

"What do you mean?" Satsuke asked.

"Your room is trashed," she replied grimly. "The slime pretty much dissolved your bed as well as your door. You don't wanna go in there until our crew fixes it up."

"Chum is welcome in me quarters!" Mako said with a grin.

"No!" Piper yelled, grabbing the policeman's arm. "Coach is sleeping in my room!"

"No way, ye scallywag," the mermaid retorted, "I'm the cap'n. Chum'll be sleepin' with me!"

"Last I checked, that's illegal there, Mako."

"Ye know what I meant, ye bloody snake. At least I ain't gonna poison 'im while 'e sleeps!"

"That was an accident, you stupid fish."

"Ye wanna fight about it?" the mermaid growled, unsheathing her cutlass.

"Bring it, Captain Sparrow," the echidna hissed, rattling her tail.

Mako looked absolutely appalled. "Now ye've done it!" she roared. "Wheel me closer, Chum! I'm gonna run 'er through!"

"Enough, you two!" Satsuke yelled. "Tara, may I sleep in your room tonight?"

"No," the arachne said, crossing her arms. "No one's allowed in my room. Sorry."

"Fine," he replied, somewhat hurt. "I'll stay with Mako tonight. No offense, Piper, but I've known Mako longer."

Piper pouted, at which Mako stuck her tongue out. "Okay, Coach," she said with a sigh. "If you change your mind, you know where to find me." She then leaned into him and put her lips to his ear. "You're always welcome in my room," she purred, pointedly staring at the arachne.

Tara simply glared at her, then turned and left. "I'll make a hammock in Fish Face's room so Fuzz can sleep."

It didn't take long for things to be set up, and soon, Nakamura laid down on the hammock by the still waters of the mermaid's pool. He knew that this stillness was because Mako breathed underwater, but he still found it unnerving. The only thing that helped him relax was the smell of the salt water, and the pleasant memories it brought him. Eventually, this was enough for him to drift off to sleep. Unfortunately, that sleep was short-lived when he felt Mako's black eyes staring at him from the edge of the water. "Is something on your mind, Mako?"

"I saw Legs go into th' bathroom while ye were takin' a bath th' other day," the mermaid replied.

"Is that bothering you?"

"I canna help but wonder 'ow far she got with ye," she said.

"Not far at all," Satsuke said.

"Oh?" came the wry response. "Ye know, we do 'ave some unfinished business from th' other day."

The young man gulped. "You mean-"

Before he could finish his sentence, he felt himself getting pulled into the water again. This time, he could feel that she was completely nude, causing blood to flow freely from his nose. At this point, I'm going to die of blood loss! he thought to himself.

"How many times do I have t' tell ye," she said, "It ain't nice t' tease a girl." She then reached down and slipped her hand down his boxer shorts. "A woman's got needs, ye know."

In all the chaos, he didn't hear the sound of rattling in the distance. He did feel something wrap itself around his neck and pull him out of the water, dangling him in mid-air. "I knew you were going to pull some shit!" Piper said, unaware that Satsuke's face was turning blue. "Come on, Coach, I'll get you dried off."

"Bring me Chum back 'ere, ye scallywag!" the mermaid shouted as the echidna slithered out of the room with Nakamura in tow. Did I go too far this time? she thought to herself as a tear drifted down her cheek.

"Please bring 'im back…" she repeated, more softly than before.

Moments later, the policeman found himself alone in Piper's bedroom gasping for breath. It was nearly as large as Mako's room, with a huge bed taking up the most space. The furniture was very simple, and the walls were decorated with Native American art depicting snakes. There were also posters of American rock bands from the 1980's. He was soon joined by the echidna wearing an oversized t-shirt holding a towel. "Are you okay, Coach?" she asked as Satsuke dried himself off. "She didn't hurt you, did she?"

"Not at all," he replied with a smile, "but thank you for your concern. I just didn't want her to get deported."

"You're such a nice guy," Piper said. "I'll never forget how you said how we are all a family. Do you really not care that I'm part rattlesnake?"

"Of course not," Satsuke responded. "I've seen liminals of many kinds all the time on my patrols. As an officer of the law, I have sworn to protect and serve the people, regardless of how many legs they may have." He then looked to the echidna's bottom half. "Or if they have no legs at all.

"Besides," he continued, blushing a little, "you're also a woman. It would be unbecoming of me to treat you or the others badly."

"How come there aren't more guys like you?" Piper asked rhetorically. "We lamiae prize men like you. After all, we have no males of our own kind, so we need to have human men that have no problem with us."

"Now hold on," Nakamura said, holding up his hands, "this is going way too fast for me."

"Don't you wanna know how good a lamia is?" the echidna asked with a wicked grin. "Best of all," she continued, whispering in his ear, "we have no gag reflex."

This is not good, the policeman thought, turning white, this evening's going to have a girl deported and a career ending if it goes on like this. He threw the door open and ran as fast as he could, Piper hot on his heels. "Aww, come on, Coach," she yelled, "I promise I won't bite, and if I do, I'll try not to envenom you this time!"

He was almost to the stairs when the elevator door opened, revealing a still-nude Mako. "Chum!" she called. "Ye're comin' back t' me!"

Nakamura yelped and scrambled up the stairs as fast as could. Soon, he reached his destination: the ladder leading up to the attic. He began pounding on the hatch door after making his way up. "Tara!" he shouted. "Please let me in!" He knew he was taking a huge risk of having the arachne accosting him either sexually, violently, or both. She was the only one who didn't want me in her room, he thought. "Tara! Please let me in!" he cried.

"Come back, Chum!" he heard the mermaid calling from the hallway. "I promise I'll be good this time!"

"No way, Mako," Piper shouted, bolting past Mako's wheelchair, "Coach is mine!"

Satsuke clamped his eyes closed as if waiting for death. This is it, he thought, this is how I die. Suddenly, he felt himself getting lifted roughly, then heard a door slamming shut. He opened his eyes and saw only blackness to the point where he literally couldn't see his hand in front of his face. "Is this the afterlife?" he whispered.

"No, Fuzz," came the familiar reply. "God dammit, I thought I told you that I didn't want company."

"I'm sorry, Tara," Satsuke responded, gasping for breath, "but I didn't know where else to go. It seemed like the safest place to be was with someone who didn't want me there."

"I understand," the arachne said softly. "I'll be right back. Don't worry, though. When I'm through with them, they won't be going anywhere for a while."

"You're not going to hurt them, did you?"

"I told you that I'm venomous," came the reply. "However, unlike Knucklehead, my venom doesn't kill. It's only a mild paralytic. Don't worry, though; it'll wear off by morning. The worst they'll have is a minor headache and a little numbness. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go put them to bed."

Satsuke's legs gave out soon after Tara left the room, his adrenaline spent, and laid there questioning his life's choices until the arachne came back. "You're safe now, Satsuke," Tara said when she came back. "I told them that the four of us will have a little talk first thing in the morning.

"It's strange that the two of them got as aggressive as they did, though," she continued. "The full moon isn't full for another week or so."

"What's so special about that?"

"Our mating instincts take over on the full moon, and we lose control."

"Our?"

"Yes," Tara replied, her tone grave, "even mine. I'm apologizing in advance if I do anything to hurt you."

Nakamura sighed, then realized something. "You called me by my name earlier," he said.

"I thought it would make you feel better," the arachne replied evenly. After a pause, she said, "You can probably tell that we all care about you. I'm surprised, though. I was under the impression that human males liked it when women fought over them, but you don't seem interested in any of us. If that's the case, just tell us, okay? It's not like we won't get it."

"It's not that, Tara," he responded. "You have to understand that I'm at a loss as to what to do. I've never been popular with women, so to have three fighting over me is a completely new experience." He paused and said, "Would you mind turning the lights on?"

"Shit, sorry about that," the arachne replied. "I keep forgetting that humans can't see in the dark. Close your eyes, I'm going to turn the lights on, but only if you promise not to laugh at me."

"Why would I laugh?" he asked, then was momentarily blinded.

After rubbing his eyes, he scanned his surroundings to find small lines of figurines and plushes of chibi animals, as well as posters of idols and Visual Kei singers, some of whom he recognized. Most of the décor was pastel colored, and very feminine. Satsuke turned and saw that the arachne had turned away in embarrassment. "You must think I'm pathetic," she muttered.

"Not at all, Tara!" he replied, touching her lower abdomen. "This is all a part of you, and I think you're pretty amazing."

"You're a sweet guy, Fuzz," she said, her voice low. "You're going to make a woman very happy someday."

Tara sighed and then continued, "Look, you're well within your rights to reject all of us after all that we've put you through. I mean, it's not like it's legal, even if you wanted to. You have your career to think about."

"That's just it," he replied. "I don't want any of you girls to be deported, especially after all the progress you all have made." He then smiled. "It's not like the law isn't going to change, you know. This is new for all of us."

The arachne sighed and said, "Okay." She then made a hammock for him to sleep on, as well as sheets and a pillow case, then handed him a pillow. "Get some sleep. You're safe now."

"Thank you, Tara," he said after laying down. "Oh, and Tara?"

"Yeah?"

"You're very pretty when you smile."

"The sleep dep must be making you loco," she chuckled as she turned the light off. "Good night. I'm watching you, Fuzz."

She only got snores in reply. "I love you, Satsuke," she whispered.