It was a few days later and Emma was in her office sitting at her desk, when someone walked in. She looked up and saw Killian standing in front of her carrying a brown, paper bag.
"I brought you lunch. A tuna melt and a Sprite." Killian said with a smile.
"Thanks! My favorite!" Emma replied. A tuna melt with Sprite was definitely not her favorite.
He leaned down and gave her a kiss; Emma couldn't help but still feel a little weird whenever Killian touched her or vice versa. The events at Gold's shop had been so surreal and unsettling that she was having trouble shaking the feeling that the maybe the quill had worked. She kept hearing a relapsing thought in her head:
What if Killian isn't my true love?
She moved the thought to the side and concentrated on her ham and cheese. She took a bite and tried to hide her dissatisfaction. She despised the taste of tuna and she had to swallow the bite whole so she could avoid some of the fishy taste.
"I have to get back to the docks but I'll pick you up at 6 and take you out on our anticipated date!" Hook said, giving her a gentle kiss goodbye.
Emma nodded and as soon as the pirate headed out the door, she threw the tuna sandwich into the trash barrel. They had been planning to go on this date for the past few days but Emma had been secretly dreading it. She had recently felt uncomfortable when she was around him and their relationship was beginning to feel unnatural.
She moved all her uneasy feelings aside and focused on work for the rest of the day.
It was 9 pm and Emma was sitting in her bug, alone after her date with Killian. She had had a terrible time while Hook had seemed to be having a wonderful time. Every second that he was holding her hand or putting his arm around her shoulder or kissing her was pure torture. She was beginning to despise his touch and she wasn't able to say why.
It got so bad that she had to excuse herself to go to the bathroom in the middle of a kiss. Killian didn't have the intuition to see something was bothering her and he didn't even ask if she was alright.
Emma sat in the bug as gentle tears rolled down her face. She picked up her phone and dialed his phone number. She waited anxiously as the phone rang and she jumped when she heardKillian's scruffy voice on the other end.
"Hello love, couldn't bear to be without me for even 10 minutes?" Killian said with a chuckle.
Emma mentally gagged at the cockiness in his voice.
"Killian I can't- I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry. I just can't." Emma said as the tears wet her face.
"Swan, what are you trying to say?" Killian asked, all pride lost from his tone.
"I'm saying it's over Killian. I think we would be better off on our own. We've lost that spark and I can't do this anymore." Emma said blankly.
Killian argued with her for a few minutes about how he was "in love with her" and that "he didn't want to be without her" but Emma eventually cut him off with an apology and said goodbye.
As she hung up the phone she felt a weight fall off her shoulders and she felt more free than she had felt in a long time.
She sat in her car for awhile, not sure what to do with herself. She put the car into drive and pulled down the street, and decided to drive home.
She unlocked the front door and walked into the apartment. Mary Margaret was standing at the sink, washing dishes when she heard Emma come into the kitchen. She turned around and immediately noticed her daughters red eyes and tear stained face. She swung the drying cloth onto her shoulder, put down the half-clean plate and wrapped her arms around Emma. Emma stayed stiff as a board for a few seconds, before she returned the hug, a new wave of sobs bubbling up.
"Emma, what happened?" Mary Margaret asked quietly as soon as their embrace had ended. The two moved over to the couch and sat down.
"I broke up with Killian." Emma replied with a blank expression and monotone voice.
Mary Margaret couldn't help but look surprised. "Wait, what? You broke up with Killian? I thought you two were perfect for each other."
Emma looked at her mother, awed that the usually supportive Mary Margaret had responded in this way, "Well, apparently we are NOT perfect for each other. The very thought of him makes me feel quite uneasy and uncomfortable currently and now that I've broken things off with him, I feel free."
"Are you sure that was the best decision? Don't you want to fight for what you had with Hook?" Mary Margaret asked.
Emma shook her head, "There is nothing to fight for. Can you please be supportive of me in this?"
The sheriff's mother nodded her head and took a hold of Emma's hand, "You said he made you feel uneasy and uncomfortable, but I don't think you told me the reason why…" Mary Margaret said tentatively.
Emma took a deep breath and relayed to her mother the events that had occurred in the past few days. She told everything from the quill Rumple had made, to the curse he had written. She told about the dull encounters with Hook, to the sighting of Belle happily with Rumple. Mary Margaret processed all her daughter had told her and sat in silent thought for a moment.
"Emma, don't kill me, but I have an idea as to why you have these negative feelings about Hook…" Mary Margaret started, "just hear me out. What if the reason you have been feeling uneasy around him, especially when he touches you, is because Killian isn't your true love."
Emma felt as if a bus had just hit her; hearing the very thought that had been mulling around in her head on nonstop repeat come out of her mother's mouth was overwhelming. She cleared her throat and barely nodded to signal to Mary Margaret to keep talking.
"If the quill had really worked (which it probably did, given the fact that Belle and Rumple are a couple now) you wouldn't have been able to come in physical contact with Killian. Just think about that Emma." Mary Margaret paused, searching her daughter's face. "Emma, are you okay?"
Emma creased her forehead, "I will be."
Mary Margaret gave Emma's hand a squeeze before releasing it. She kissed her daughter on her forehead and stood up. "I'm going to let you think for the night. I'll see you in the morning,"
Emma gave her mother a pained smile and lay down on the plush sofa. She closed her eyes and let all the events of the day wash over her in memory. She thought about all her mother had said and she realized how helpful and insightful Mary Margaret's observations had been.
The reality that Killian most likely wasn't her true love had fully sunk in and she felt at peace for the first time in awhile. Unfortunately for her, that refreshing peace of mind wouldn't last forever.
The worn out sheriff climbed the stairs to the loft and flopped down onto her bed. Her eyelids suddenly felt like they weighed thirty pounds and before she could get her pajamas on or even get under the covers, Emma was fast asleep.
She sprung up into a sitting position, her eyes wide and her heart beating wildly. She looked over at the clock on her desk. 2:49 am. She let herself fall back onto the bed as she remembered the unsettling thought that had awoken her:
If Killian isn't my true love, than who is?
She groaned and stood up from the bed. She paced around the loft for a minute, running her fingers through her hair. She tried to shove the thought into the back of her mind so she could get some more sleep, but the idea remained planted in the front of her mind.
Why do I need to know so badly who my true love is? It's only going to end up being torturous because what use is it to love someone if you cant hold their hand, or kiss their lips? Maybe I don't have a true love. Maybe I'm destined to live alone and to never fall in love.
The blonde grabbed one of her leather jackets from her dresser and tiptoed downstairs. She slowly opened the front door and crept out of the apartment, being careful not to wake up her mother.
The cool, autumn air was refreshing and cleared out the troubling thoughts floating through Emma's head. She started walking down the street with no destination in mind. There was chilling breeze in the air and she was thankful that she'd remembered to grab her jacket.
She walked past the sheriff station and saw her father through the window, reading a book at the desk. It was his turn at the night shift at the sheriff station. She passed the pawn shop, the diner and the next thing she knew, she was wandering into Storybrooke's quieter, residential section. Everything in town looked so different at after the sun had set and it took Emma a minute to realize what street she was on. She had been on this street numerous times since she'd moved to this godforsaken town.
Whether it was because she had a bone to pick with the homeowner, or to pick up her son for her night, Emma always had mixed emotions about this particular home on this particular street. She would have continued her midnight stroll past Regina's mansion, except for the fact that the light to the mayor's bedroom was switched on. Emma paused and couldn't peel her eyes from the illuminated window. Her eyes were yearning for movement of some kind from the grand window.
After a few minutes of starring hopefully at Regina's window, Emma began to feel embarrassed at how long she had been standing there. She started walking again in the direction she had come from, but her feet had a different plan. She headed straight across the street, onto the mayor's walkway, and up to the front door. Her hand hovered an inch from the door for awhile, before she gently knocked on the surface. When one minute passed and the door was still unanswered, Emma turned on her heel and was about to walk off the porch.
"Miss Swan?" Regina swung the door open and was met by Emma who was about to walk off the porch. The sudden swinging of the door had surprised Emma. With arms flailing, she fell down the steps and landed on the walkway with a grunt and a quiet "ouch".
Regina gasped and ran down the steps. "Emma! Oh my god sorry for startling you! Are you alright?"
Emma shook her hair out of her face, "Yeah I think I'm fine, just a little shaken up."
"Here let me help you up." Regina said, extending her hand. Emma was about to reach up to grab a hold of it, but suddenly Henry came running out the door.
"I heard voices and then a loud noise so I came running! Mom! Are you okay? What happened? Why are you here at 3:30 a.m.?" Henry blurted, as he helped his mother up.
"Thanks kid. Yeah I'm fine…no permanent damage" she said with a smile. "I saw your mother's light on and I decided to knock on the door because…well I'm not really sure why. I think I'm just overtired." Emma flustered
Both Henry and Regina looked Emma, then looked at each other, and then looked back at Emma again.
"Anyways, I had a weird day and I think I'm going to just head home." Emma said after a long, awkward silence.
Regina was about to invite the sheriff in, but then she remembered the event of a few days ago when she had tried to place her hand on Emma's shoulder. The mayor quickly shook off the idea of having the blonde come into her home at this time of the day.
She simply nodded and Emma walked away and down the street. Regina kissed Henry on the forehead and said goodnight, before she headed back to her bed where she had spent the whole night sitting and thinking. She sat down on the bed and let her mind return to thoughts of Emma.