This is a bit more recent. I couldnÕt see where I was going with it, so I abandoned it pretty much. It was started Nov. 19 2002.
Oh yeah. Why 1999? 'Cuz I wanted to, that's why.
Once upon a time in Middle earth, what was left of the fellowship were traveling to Rohan to bury the king ThŽoden. It was a rather sad time, the guy being dead and all. It so happened, that Frodo, Sam, Pippin, Merry, Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, Gandalf and Arwen sneezed, wiggled their noses and blinked at the same time. This being an unusual happening, it only having occurred once or twice in the history of the universe, they were WARPED TO 1999, in our country nonetheless! The entire cavalcade, having previously been sitting on horses, were dropped onto a slab of what seemed a very hard rock.
"Eek!" shouted Gandalf. "I fear something terrible has happened! Run, I shall defend you!" he gets up and waves his staff around.
"Gandalf," says Merry, "I think there's a very simple explanation for whatever is happened."
"What is that?" says Frodo.
"It's all Pippins' fault!" cries Merry, throwing a punch in his general direction.
Pippin and Merry are soon fighting in the middle of the very busy street.
Ignoring them, Aragorn turned to Frodo. "Hey Fro, what about using the ring or something?"
"No!" shouts Frodo. "We destroyed it, if you remember!" he curls up into a ball and starts sucking his thumb. Arwen pats him on the shoulder and glares at Aragorn.
"Now look! You made the poor baby cry!" Frodo answers by wailing pitifully. Aragorn turns to Gandalf.
"Hey, Gand, what about using some of your wizardy magic?"
"No!" the wizard shouts, and sits and pouts. (and flouts, and schmouts, and clouts, and other rhymie things)
"Where are we?" said Legolas, looking around.
"Ask someone, elf!" says Gimli.
"Someone would be crazy to live in a place like thiiiiii...."
As Aragorn started this seemingly unfinished sentence, a great steel bellied monster approached them at a rapid pace. Our companions barely escaped it's many large wheels, which would have ground them to an icky pulp.
Gandalf fans himself and gasps for air. "Don't treat an old man so!" he wheezes. Arwen glares at Aragorn. "Why do you treat him so? Why, he's been like a father to me!"
"Well," said Aragorn, but the hobbits interrupt him.
"We're hungry!" they shout. "We want to go to an inn and get a pint of ale! Good ale, yummy ale..."
"Ale?" shouts a woman who comes up to them. "You children have drunk ale?"
"Children?" shouts Pippin indignantly. "Why..."
"Police! Police!" shouts the woman hysterically.
"You can't arrest these people!" shouts a man. "We need them!" He grabs Gimli. "You're going to be on the Price is Right!"
"You can't sell him!" cries Legolas, also grabbing Gimli.
Immediately, everyone takes ahold of Gimli and starts yelling and pulling. The dwarf is nearly rendered into quarters before the PiR dude tucks him under his arm and runs off to the studio, our companions following at a close range. The man dashes into a large building, and he tells someone to give everyone name tags before he drags Gimli through a small door. The rest of the fellowship are herded into a small room, have papers with their names on them slapped upon their shirts, and are herded into a larger room with many seats and people. They are seated before lights begin to flash, and a dramatic voice begins to yell something. The fellowship see Gimli up in front, near the stage looking confused.
An older man comes out on the stage, and starts talking. Then a couple of skinny women prance around a riding mower, and the people beside the dwarf rattle off a couple of numbers. Gimli shouts the first number that comes into his head. ($8939.04) A buzzer sounds, and the host grabs the dwarf up on stage, stuffs a piece of paper into his hand and drags him over to a door.
"Do you know what's behind that door?" he says. Gimli shakes his head. "It's a new car!"
The doors open and the crowd goes wild. Gimli just stares. "You could win this car!" says Bob. He drags Gimli over to a queer stand. "You're gonna playyyyy puh-llllinkooooo!!"
After the dwarf won a stove, a set of designer pens, a blender, and a years supply of gourmet peanut butter by guessing which flap the number is under, he is given a handful of disks and one of the skinny women shoves the dwarf up the steps to the top. Gimli says nothing but holds on to the stand tightly. He decides that he must drop the disks along the pegged board, and after every single one he hears loud bells and buzzers. After he's dropped all of the disks down, he comes down dejectedly. "I'm sorry I made the bells ring," he sniffles. "What? Don't be sad! You've just won TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!!" Bob slaps him on the back. "And now it's time for a commercial break!" Then he pushes the dwarf rudely. "Get this freak outta my sight!" he snarls. Gimli leaps into the audience to speak to his friends. "How'd I do?" he said. "I don't know," says Aragorn. Gimli is snatched up and dragged back to the stage, where he stands before a spinny wheel. He spins it, and more buzzers sound. Gimli flinches and spins it again, more tentatively. MORE buzzers sound. He's whisked off he's stuffed behind a brightly colored pedestal. He was shown a bunch of stuff: a new mansion, with a huge van, and five hangliders. The man beside him was shown a ski boat, jet skis, and a vacation to Miami. Bob once again told Gimli to pick a number. Gimli picked the number of times buzzers had sounded (8) times the number of plinko chips (5) times the amount of money he had won (250,000) divided by ten. ($1,000,000) YET MORE buzzers sound, and the skinny women, Bob and members of the audience surrounded Gimli.
"You've won the most money ever in the history of game shows!" screams one woman into his face. "How do you feel?" "Er, ah," says the dwarf. "Speechless, eh? Well folks!" she bellows into a strange black box, "You've seen it here first! Gimli Gloinson is the most famous game show winner in the history of game shows!"
Gimli's friends came up to him. "Uh," they say, "What..." They are all rushed into a big van and driven off for a while. They pester the driver to distraction, while they learn much about this strange land. The van screeches to a stop in front of a giant wrought iron gate. The doors open and the fellowship gets out.
"Anything else you want to know?" snarls the driver. "Yeah," says Aragorn. "Where are we?"
The driver laughs. "You're in Los Angeles, bub. The place where anything can happen." As he slams the door and roars off, they believed him.
"Well," says Aragorn. "Isn't this the house that they showed you?"
"Yeah," says Gimli. They walk up to the gate and open it. In the driveway is the car that Gimli won. "Hmm," he says. There seems to be an object for every buzzer. I guess that means that buzzers are a good thing." They walk up to the door.
"There is a small button here," says Gimli pushing it. A buzzer sounds inside. "A good thing!" shouts Gimli. "What else did I win?" They burst open the door and go inside. It is a very long hallway, with many pegs for coats. Frodo takes one look at the immense hall and throws himself on the ground and cries. "Poor baby," says Arwen and picks him up. They wander down the hall and come to a kitchen. Gandalf sees a jar on the table and picks it up, opens it, and samples the contents.
"MMM!" he cries. (And here, my patient readers, we lapse into semi-correct grammar for a time.)
"What Mmm?" said Legolas, coming to see. He looked at the jar. "Peanut butter," it read.
I donÕt own LotR, I donÕt own PiR, I donÕt own hangliders, and IÕve never been to L.A. and I know thatÕs not how PiR does that.
Oh yeah. Why 1999? 'Cuz I wanted to, that's why.
Once upon a time in Middle earth, what was left of the fellowship were traveling to Rohan to bury the king ThŽoden. It was a rather sad time, the guy being dead and all. It so happened, that Frodo, Sam, Pippin, Merry, Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, Gandalf and Arwen sneezed, wiggled their noses and blinked at the same time. This being an unusual happening, it only having occurred once or twice in the history of the universe, they were WARPED TO 1999, in our country nonetheless! The entire cavalcade, having previously been sitting on horses, were dropped onto a slab of what seemed a very hard rock.
"Eek!" shouted Gandalf. "I fear something terrible has happened! Run, I shall defend you!" he gets up and waves his staff around.
"Gandalf," says Merry, "I think there's a very simple explanation for whatever is happened."
"What is that?" says Frodo.
"It's all Pippins' fault!" cries Merry, throwing a punch in his general direction.
Pippin and Merry are soon fighting in the middle of the very busy street.
Ignoring them, Aragorn turned to Frodo. "Hey Fro, what about using the ring or something?"
"No!" shouts Frodo. "We destroyed it, if you remember!" he curls up into a ball and starts sucking his thumb. Arwen pats him on the shoulder and glares at Aragorn.
"Now look! You made the poor baby cry!" Frodo answers by wailing pitifully. Aragorn turns to Gandalf.
"Hey, Gand, what about using some of your wizardy magic?"
"No!" the wizard shouts, and sits and pouts. (and flouts, and schmouts, and clouts, and other rhymie things)
"Where are we?" said Legolas, looking around.
"Ask someone, elf!" says Gimli.
"Someone would be crazy to live in a place like thiiiiii...."
As Aragorn started this seemingly unfinished sentence, a great steel bellied monster approached them at a rapid pace. Our companions barely escaped it's many large wheels, which would have ground them to an icky pulp.
Gandalf fans himself and gasps for air. "Don't treat an old man so!" he wheezes. Arwen glares at Aragorn. "Why do you treat him so? Why, he's been like a father to me!"
"Well," said Aragorn, but the hobbits interrupt him.
"We're hungry!" they shout. "We want to go to an inn and get a pint of ale! Good ale, yummy ale..."
"Ale?" shouts a woman who comes up to them. "You children have drunk ale?"
"Children?" shouts Pippin indignantly. "Why..."
"Police! Police!" shouts the woman hysterically.
"You can't arrest these people!" shouts a man. "We need them!" He grabs Gimli. "You're going to be on the Price is Right!"
"You can't sell him!" cries Legolas, also grabbing Gimli.
Immediately, everyone takes ahold of Gimli and starts yelling and pulling. The dwarf is nearly rendered into quarters before the PiR dude tucks him under his arm and runs off to the studio, our companions following at a close range. The man dashes into a large building, and he tells someone to give everyone name tags before he drags Gimli through a small door. The rest of the fellowship are herded into a small room, have papers with their names on them slapped upon their shirts, and are herded into a larger room with many seats and people. They are seated before lights begin to flash, and a dramatic voice begins to yell something. The fellowship see Gimli up in front, near the stage looking confused.
An older man comes out on the stage, and starts talking. Then a couple of skinny women prance around a riding mower, and the people beside the dwarf rattle off a couple of numbers. Gimli shouts the first number that comes into his head. ($8939.04) A buzzer sounds, and the host grabs the dwarf up on stage, stuffs a piece of paper into his hand and drags him over to a door.
"Do you know what's behind that door?" he says. Gimli shakes his head. "It's a new car!"
The doors open and the crowd goes wild. Gimli just stares. "You could win this car!" says Bob. He drags Gimli over to a queer stand. "You're gonna playyyyy puh-llllinkooooo!!"
After the dwarf won a stove, a set of designer pens, a blender, and a years supply of gourmet peanut butter by guessing which flap the number is under, he is given a handful of disks and one of the skinny women shoves the dwarf up the steps to the top. Gimli says nothing but holds on to the stand tightly. He decides that he must drop the disks along the pegged board, and after every single one he hears loud bells and buzzers. After he's dropped all of the disks down, he comes down dejectedly. "I'm sorry I made the bells ring," he sniffles. "What? Don't be sad! You've just won TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!!" Bob slaps him on the back. "And now it's time for a commercial break!" Then he pushes the dwarf rudely. "Get this freak outta my sight!" he snarls. Gimli leaps into the audience to speak to his friends. "How'd I do?" he said. "I don't know," says Aragorn. Gimli is snatched up and dragged back to the stage, where he stands before a spinny wheel. He spins it, and more buzzers sound. Gimli flinches and spins it again, more tentatively. MORE buzzers sound. He's whisked off he's stuffed behind a brightly colored pedestal. He was shown a bunch of stuff: a new mansion, with a huge van, and five hangliders. The man beside him was shown a ski boat, jet skis, and a vacation to Miami. Bob once again told Gimli to pick a number. Gimli picked the number of times buzzers had sounded (8) times the number of plinko chips (5) times the amount of money he had won (250,000) divided by ten. ($1,000,000) YET MORE buzzers sound, and the skinny women, Bob and members of the audience surrounded Gimli.
"You've won the most money ever in the history of game shows!" screams one woman into his face. "How do you feel?" "Er, ah," says the dwarf. "Speechless, eh? Well folks!" she bellows into a strange black box, "You've seen it here first! Gimli Gloinson is the most famous game show winner in the history of game shows!"
Gimli's friends came up to him. "Uh," they say, "What..." They are all rushed into a big van and driven off for a while. They pester the driver to distraction, while they learn much about this strange land. The van screeches to a stop in front of a giant wrought iron gate. The doors open and the fellowship gets out.
"Anything else you want to know?" snarls the driver. "Yeah," says Aragorn. "Where are we?"
The driver laughs. "You're in Los Angeles, bub. The place where anything can happen." As he slams the door and roars off, they believed him.
"Well," says Aragorn. "Isn't this the house that they showed you?"
"Yeah," says Gimli. They walk up to the gate and open it. In the driveway is the car that Gimli won. "Hmm," he says. There seems to be an object for every buzzer. I guess that means that buzzers are a good thing." They walk up to the door.
"There is a small button here," says Gimli pushing it. A buzzer sounds inside. "A good thing!" shouts Gimli. "What else did I win?" They burst open the door and go inside. It is a very long hallway, with many pegs for coats. Frodo takes one look at the immense hall and throws himself on the ground and cries. "Poor baby," says Arwen and picks him up. They wander down the hall and come to a kitchen. Gandalf sees a jar on the table and picks it up, opens it, and samples the contents.
"MMM!" he cries. (And here, my patient readers, we lapse into semi-correct grammar for a time.)
"What Mmm?" said Legolas, coming to see. He looked at the jar. "Peanut butter," it read.
I donÕt own LotR, I donÕt own PiR, I donÕt own hangliders, and IÕve never been to L.A. and I know thatÕs not how PiR does that.