Hi all

Hope you are well! I'm behind, again, always. I'm just bad and I apologize.

I've actually been sitting on this for a while and got a couple of nudges to push it out. This was written before the reveal in 'Hunted' so I'm still playing with the auspices of 'not knowing' what Dean knows. I had/have my theories, which fall sort of into this line of thinking, but I believe there's more. Why else would Mary say 'I'm sorry' to Sam in 'Home?' :D We'll see what happens.

In any case, I had written this before my beloved Bears were on their way to the Superbowl (can I even scream loud enough for that!!! 21 years baby!) and I just wanted to throw a little football fandom into my writing. They say 'write what you know' and I know the Bears! My poor Mike Brown...sigh. Anyway, I wanted to make the bathroom break in in 'Simon Said' seem a little more urgent (which is where this picks up), and I hope this makes it legit. :D

Oodles of thanks, as always, to Gem for the fantastic work, and my bud MaddieM for some brainstorming and critical thinking.

I do have a plan with this, I just don't have the time I'd like to really put into writing, but I am working up to more examples of my theories. This could still be legit - on some level - so until I'm completely shot down by Mr. Kripke (who owns everything - including me!) I'm going to keep it going.

I'll be posting another chapter of Holy Cross as soon as I can work a few bugs out too.

Thank you all for your support and undying kindness!

;D

Caroline

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Chapter 3

"Brian Urlacher? Really? Are you related?" The young man at the gas station held the credit card with awe, flipping it from front to back. Seeing if the signature looked anything like the real Brian Urlacher. Not that the attendant had any clue what the real signature looked like.

There was a moment he thought he'd been caught. Caught by a snot nosed 17-year-old punk who needed a haircut. Found out by an over-zealous football fan. Should've used Ryan…

It was when they were in Chicago. They'd had a little time to kill, all the guns had been cleaned, and they were getting desperately low on cash. Their supply of fresh credit cards was nil. The names that normally came to him with ease – Steven Tyler, Frank Beard, Robert Plant - were not freely flowing from his brain. He was, after all, a little distracted with The Demon coming to town and seeing their Dad for the first time in forever and nearly getting killed by the daevas. Little things like that.

The last good, non-rock star credit card name they'd had was Aframian, and that card was long gone. Tossed on the side of the road as the Impala did 80 down the stretch. He'd picked up the Chicago Tribune and ended up in the sports section. Urlacher's name had jumped out at him immediately. But he'd had three fake applications to fill, so he'd continued searching; looking for the perfect fit for their ever-changing-yet-constant lifestyle.

"Safety Mike Brown is out for the season with…' That's a nice, easy name for an application. Scribbling ensued.

The perusal of the paper persisted, and his eyes fell on a picture of Lovie Smith, head coach of the Chicago Bears. Nah, I'd totally get busted, although Lovie should be my name. Especially according to the ladies… He'd smiled at his personal joke, continuing on for his third name.

Finally he had settled on Brad Maynard, the punter. No one knows who the punter is! It'd seemed innocent enough and probably wouldn't raise any eyebrows. He knew that using Brian's name was probably a mistake, but this was America; life, liberty and the pursuit of laziness. He'd pull it off.

Until now.

"Yeah, actually. We're second cousins on his dad's side," he said making his uncomfortable scratch motion to the back of his head to kill a moment or two. "Grew up a few blocks apart," the hunter added, hoping to just get the card back and grab his brother from the bathroom. What's taking him so long? "I'm older, so they were always comparing him to me." He flashed his million dollar grin as he quickly snatched the card.

"Well, tell 'em we love 'em out this way. There's a bunch of us Bears fans around these parts." The young clerk almost had an inspired look about him, thinking the man in front of him was actually related to the football hero.

"Will do. Thanks," he replied, throwing a quick wave and making his way out back to where his brother was still puttering around.

As soon as he was out of eyesight, Dean booked to the bathroom around back, knowing that the clerk would start spouting off. Who knew what that would bring?

Dean neared the grungy, once-white bathroom door that now was a sickening pale shade of yellow. It seemed some folk didn't even make it to the toilet, they chose to write their names on the outside wall instead. And if it wasn't in yellow, it was scrawled in black spray paint. Latin Kings, Vice Lords; it was all here. Lovely décor.

And the smell… well that was another thing.

Dean could see from the outside that the bathroom door didn't even lock, which, in this case, would be to his advantage. Memories of a glued bottle to his hand became prominent in his mind as he neared the entrance. Dean could never pass up an opportunity to embarrass his little brother, and it was sure there was no one else in there with him to make for an 'awkward' moment. A smile passed his lips as he thought of the terror that would befall Sam – whether he was standing or sitting.

He grabbed the door handle, announcing his presence with a loud cry:

"Sam, come on. Zip it up let's hit the…"

Not what he was expecting.

There, crouched over the sink's running water, stood his brother, dripping wet from a personal hand shower. Sam's hair was slicked with the liquid and beads dripped down his nose to the dirty basin. Dean could hear a slight panting, almost pre-hyperventilation, coming from Sam's chest. His face was contorted in pain or fright – Dean wasn't sure which. And his eyes…

Something was definitely wrong.

"…road," Dean continued as he looked Sam over. "What?"

He shook himself from the reverie and rushed to Sam's side, quickly assessing the damages. They didn't have time to speculate his latest vision – and Dean was relatively sure that's what had just happened – so he grabbed his ailing sibling, careful not to jostle his newly casted wrist, and hurried him to the car; away from prying eyes and curious football fans.

Once settling Sam in the Impala, Dean tore out of the parking lot, leaving only dust behind. The further away they could get from the rat-infested hell-hole, the better off they'd be.

Dean stole a glance at his shaken brother. Sam hadn't had a vision since before the Demon arrived in Salvation. At least to his knowledge. He furrowed his brow at the thought. Curiosity was eating him from the inside out, but he waited until he knew Sam was ready. Calm. Waited to hear what had happened, knowing full well that it had something to do with their yellow-eyed fiery friend.

Although, Dean wasn't sure if he was quite ready to meet him face to face again.

After a bit of amiable silence, Sam finally announced he wanted to head back to Roadhouse to pick Ash's brain – to see if they could decipher the events of the vision. To get some additional information from Ellen.

Dean had to hold himself together.

Why is Sam running to Ash? And Ellen?

As the hunters made their way through the Nebraska landscape, Dean waited for his brother to spill, looking for more details of the daytime nightmare. They drove in silence as Dean mused over why Sam would want to go to someone else for assistance.

Dean had said some awful things to Sammy; things they never spoke of after the Impala was ventilated in Bobby's junkyard. Things he couldn't take it back.

Things he'd meant.

"These are your issues, quit dumping 'em on me." Dean paused as they walked along the dirt road outside Medford, Wisconsin.

"What are you talking about?" asked Sam in an awed tone.

Dean continued his lashing out, letting his brother know exactly how he felt about Sam's sudden change of heart about hunting. "I just think it's really interesting, this sudden obedience you have to Dad. It's like, 'oh, what would Dad want me to do?'" He could see the pain he was causing his brother but continued his personal catharsis. "Sam, you spent your entire life sluggin' it out with that man. I mean hell, you picked a fight with him the last time you ever saw him. And now that he's dead, now you want to make it right? Well I'm sorry Sam, it's too little, too late."

He saw it all. All the pain, the confusion. The impending tears.

And he felt no guilt at the words.

"Why are you saying this to me?" Sam croaked out in reply, swallowing the larger-than-life Adam's apple that was slowly choking him.

Dean raised his voice to continue his tirade. "Because, I want you to be honest with yourself about this. I'm dealing with Dad's death... Are you?"

It was all too much, and the only way for Dean to wrap his head around their father's death, and his parting words, was to push Sammy away. Keep him at bay so Dean wouldn't break into a million little pieces. He knew he had hurt Sam, but that was what was necessary for the moment.

They'd be alright again. In time.

So it made sense that Sam wanted to be around Ellen; a woman he felt a maternal connection to. It was only natural for Sam to want to fill the void with someone – anyone – who could offer him support. Someone who their father had known and trusted. Someone to give Sam the gentle touch he so craved.

Stabs of both guilt and anger hit Dean as he realized he did not have the relationship with Sammy he once had. So much, too much, had happened. Dean had been pushing his brother away; not being truthful.

Dean was consumed with his own guilt and pain; realization after realization of what was going on around him. What had happened to him in Missouri and what was left of his tattered soul. He didn't have room for Sam's pain and suffering and he was still angry about Sam's sudden undying loyalty to hunting. He knew the kid was hurting, finding whatever means he could to fill the gaps in his guilt-ridden spirit, but Dean just couldn't accept Sam's pain in addition to his. Sam would have to deal on his own.

The burden of their father's last words to him was another story, but Dean could only do one thing at a time.

Truth be told, it was still freaking Dean out – to the point where it was easier to not be around Sam at times. He was always afraid he would say something to tip Sam off. Dean had promised his father that he would not tell Sammy what he now knew. He pledged that he would watch out for Sammy. That was his father's last request, and no matter how he was feeling inside about everything going on around him, he would fulfill that promise to John Winchester.

As a hunter, and as a son.

Worry mode for his little brother was now back in full-swing, especially after the latest vision. Sam was vulnerable. Hell, so was Dean, but when Sam announced his need to consult with Ash, he still had his doubts about bringing his brother back to the lion's den.

Dean wasn't sure why John had not told them about the Roadhouse, or about Ellen, but there had to be a reason. And that's what made Dean's stomach churn.

"I don't know man, why don't we just chill out, think about this." Dean finally found his voice after his inner monologuing.

Sam turned the radio off and turned to his brother.

"What's there to think about?" Sam replied with determination in his voice. He had finally calmed his nerves and settled himself. He was ready to take on this vision and he knew that Ash, computer genius extraordinaire, would be the one to help them.

"I just don't know if going to the Roadhouse is the smartest idea."

And I'm not quite sure I'm ready to bring more into the fold just yet. Who are these people, really?

"Dean, it's another premonition, I know it. This is gonna happen and Ash can tell us where."

"Yeah man, but…"

Sam interrupted him and continued on his thought process. "Plus it can have some connection with the demon. My visions always do."

And all the fears came crashing back. Everything Dean was trying to keep from his brother. The weight of the world on his shoulders.

"That's my point, there's gonna be hunters there. I don't know if going in and announcing that you're some supernatural freak with a demonic connection is the best thing, okay?"

That came out a little harsher than I had intended.

A ripple went through Sam's belly with those stabbing words. His personal knowledge consuming him. Guilt at what he had not been able to tell his brother regarding their mother. He looked to Dean with hurt eyes, wondering at the statement he'd just made.

"So, I'm a freak now?" The underscoring pain laced the question as Sam gazed at his brother.

Dean knew he'd screwed up, and internally sighed. He glanced quickly at Sam to see if the words had struck him as hard as he feared. Sam's mouth was slightly agape and he knew he had spewed the words too quickly and without thinking.

Shit.

So he did the only thing he could do; slap on his million dollar smile and turn it into a joke.

"You've always been a freak." Dean raised his hand and smacked his brother's knee with a sting that he knew went further than Sam's skin. It was the best he could do after his comment. It was Dean's way.

Sam watched in fascination and horror as the scene played out in front of him. His brother was scared of him. Not just for him. For the first time he saw it; the secret their father had told Dean was trickling out. He saw the cover-up with the joke, but the underscore was there. And his heart sank.

Dean had called it a demonic connection, so John had made that official correlation, Sam realized. But why was Dean afraid of letting other hunters know about it? Didn't they want help to destroy this demon? Wasn't that why John had met with Ellen in the first place? He had gone to the Roadhouse for help, so it would stand to reason that John's children should reap those rewards as well.

Why is Dean against this? What else does he know?

All Sam could do was stare at his brother as Dean's eyes now remained glued to the road as the Impala rumbled onward.

-o-o-o-o-

From the moment Dr. Badass - a.k.a. Ash - was on the job, Dean knew it was trouble. Now they had opened their personal lives, Sam's life, to the world of the hunter. Dean was still making his threat assessment of the Harvell's, and while Ash was certainly a genius, he wasn't sure how much he could trust him. Being bought for a beer did not bode well for the young man's loyalty.

Giving the description of the demon's M.O. to Ash was a risk that Dean didn't want to take, but Sam had barreled through without asking Dean's opinion after his latest vision took hold. While there were no signs of the actual Demon in Blue Ridge, Oregon, the profile for the 'children of the Demon' rang true. The fire in Andrew Gallagher's nursery on his six month birthday had even caught Jo's attention, and Dean thought that that scared him most of all.

The parallels could not be ignored as they realized more and more of these children were popping up. And Sam was connecting to more and more of them. The 'awake' visions were always related to the Demon, or a child of the Demon, and they were always surrounded in death. Violent death.

A tale of what was to come for Sam?

Sam felt the pull to get to Blue Ridge and stop this. Stop what was happening, again. He knew he couldn't make it through another loss like the Millers back in Saginaw. Watching them die was one of the most painful physical experiences he'd ever had. Then, to include Dean in the death visions while locked in the closet was one of the most frightening. That spurred the telekinesis burst. The one that had saved his brother from Max's gun.

The one that scared the hell out of Dean.

But it couldn't save Dean from the pain at the cabin.

The Demon had taunted Sam there; giving him just enough information to reveal that it knew exactly what was going on. Preparing Sam for his destiny. And letting him know that Sam could do nothing to stop it.

It made Sam suffer, both emotionally and physically, through the Barbarian torture of his brother, and his father. The Demon took pleasure from Sam's pain and his inability to save his family.

Relished it.

Teased Sam with just enough knowledge to spur his quest to continue to search for it and the other children. Trying to find the answers he so desperately craved.

Knowing where it would ultimately lead.

Somehow, Sam felt, knew, this latest child would provide some answers, one way or another.

But how was Andrew Gallagher involved in this? It seemed a sure bet he was the cause of this man's death. How many more people would Sam have to watch die because of his connection? Because of Mary's choice before she knew she had one.

-o-o-o-o-o

TBC...