CHAPTERS 7-9 OF HOPELESS KINGDOM
Maybe I was naïve, got lost in your eyes and never really had a chance. My mistake I didn't know to be in love you had to fight to have the upper hand. I had so many dreams about you and me, happy endings. Now I know. ~ Taylor Swift, White Horse
..Sick..
I pounded on her door, needing to wake her if she was asleep. I didn't have time to call Kate to get a key to her room. I needed to see her, needed to know she was alive.
Bella swung the door open and looked at me like I was crazy. Her voice was scratchy and gruff when she spoke.
"What's wrong?"
Everything.
"Who else is out there?"
People who will take a bullet for you if necessary.
"What's going on?"
I'm about to break your heart.
I pushed her back toward the couch and kneeled in front of her. "I need you to listen to everything I say before you ask questions, okay?"
She agreed, but she would still ask questions. She was too curious. I was stalling.
I took a deep breath before saying the words I dreaded ever having to tell her. "You're in danger."
Bella gave me the same look I got when I first walked in, the one where I was absolutely insane.
I handed over the photographs that got sent to Carlisle. "These got sent to me."
I wanted to scream when she shrugged them off. "Edward, there are photos like that of me all over the internet. I get death threats nearly every day. They're all nothing."
Running a hand through my hair, I nearly pulled it all out. I needed to tell her the truth, needed her to understand that this wasn't a normal threat. This was a threat from someone who would follow through. I gripped her knees and let my head fall into her lap. I needed a few more moments of knowing she was mine before I ruined everything.
"I'm fine," she said over and over.
She wasn't, though. She would never be fine if she was with me. But I looked up at those big brown eyes and that face that I would do anything for and it broke me.
"I love you. I love the way your nose scrunches up when you don't like something. I love how passionate you are about your music and your acting. You're so fucking good. I love the song you wrote for me, I listen to it every day. I love the way you treat every person you meet with kindness and compassion. Fuck, I just love you."
Bella started to cry, but they were good tears. That would change soon. "I-"
"No, not yet," I told her, taking her face in my hands and wiping away some of her tears. "I'm sorry, Bella. So fucking sorry."
"Edward," I started to interrupt her, but she wouldn't let me. "No, listen to me. I love you. You're the only thing that gets me through some days. You make me smile and you don't put up with any of my shit. You make me talk to you when I have a bad day and don't let me beat myself up over little things. You take care of me in ways I didn't know I needed."
"Bella," I dropped my head into her lap again. I shouldn't enjoy her saying those three words to me. I should hate myself for it because in a few minutes, Bella would hate me for it, too.
She lifted my head from her lap and leaned down to kiss me. Then I was sitting on the couch with her grinding herself on my lap. That was all it took to get my cocks attention.
"Bella, we shouldn't –"
"I love you," she whispered to me and it was my undoing. I was going to hell anyway, so I didn't stop her when she slid the robe off of her shoulders. I gripped her hips and pulled her against me as she repeated herself over and over again.
I didn't protest as she rid me of my clothing. I could only moan as she slid down on my length, taking me in completely. My head fell back against the couch and my eyes squeezed shut.
Bella rocked herself slowly over me, whispering words of love as she kissed any patch of skin she could reach. Her hands gripped my shoulders and I snapped my eyes to hers. She was stunning, her hair falling around her in waves and her eyes glassed over as she lost herself in pleasure.
I gave in completely and pulled her lips to mine. She started to move faster, but I needed this to last as long as possible. "No, slow."
I took in everything about her. The way the dim light let me see the faint outlines of her tattoos. The perfect slope of her waist where my hand fit perfectly. The perfect peak of her nipples as they brushed against my chest. The way it felt to have her completely surround me.
I couldn't hold it off any longer. "Come for me," I whispered to her, feeling my own release shoot through my body.
She gave me a breathtaking smile, but my face gave away my fears. She just didn't understand them, not yet.
"Edward, really, I get threats all of the time. The police check them out and they're usually just from bored kids."
I shook my head and lifted her off of me. The second I left her warmth I knew it was time to stop procrastinating. I wrapped her robe around her and pulled my clothing back on.
She went to the little kitchen and I took advantage of her absence to get the words out. "They didn't send those pictures to you, Bella. They sent them to me."
There was a pause, but then she got the picture. "Well, if we're out, we're out. I would've liked some more time to have you to myself, but –"
"Bella, the person who sent those pictures isn't a fan of yours."
I met her at the little table near the kitchen, sitting across from her.
"I don't understand. Who else would be interested in us being together?"
Reaching into my discarded suit jacket, I pulled out another picture. "This is Aro Volturi, head of the Italian mafia in Chicago."
She laughed. She fucking laughed in the face of one of the dirtiest men in the city, hell, maybe the country. "You think the mafia is interested in me? Edward, I'm just an actress. My life isn't that interesting."
"Bella, you're not listening!" I shouted. It was a dick move for me to yell at her now, but I needed her to understand.
"I am listening! You're not saying what you actually mean."
I took a deep breath. "Aro is the head of the Italian mafia in Chicago, and Carlisle is the head of the Irish mafia in Chicago. I'm his second in command."
Bella frowned. Her eyes scanned the pictures still on the table in front of her. "Is this some kind of joke? Did Emmett put you up to this or something?"
"Bella, this is all very real. Do you remember the night of your birthday, the group of men you saw in my home?"
"Yes."
"I was meeting with some… associates, one of which turns out to be a fucking rat. He told Aro about you and me. He's wanted to stir shit up for years, and he sees this as his chance."
That was too much information to tell her, but I needed her to understand the severity of the situation. I could see it all over her face as she tried to rationalize what I was saying, tried to find loopholes, tried to defend me. "This isn't real, Edward. You're not in the fucking mob."
"Bella, I am the fucking mob."
It looked like a shiver of fear wracked through her entire body. She pushed away from the table and backed up until she hit the wall. I could see it all over her face. She was terrified.
"You don't… you don't have to be scared of me, Bella."
"I don't have to be scared of you? You just told me you were the fucking mob, Edward! What am I supposed to do with that?" She started crying and her next words tore my heart from my chest. "I told you everything. From the very beginning I told you everything about me. I told you things that… fuck that no one knows! God, I'm a fucking idiot!"
"You're not an idiot, Bella, I just couldn't say anything. The more you know, the more danger you're in." Please understand. Please don't hate me.
"What do you do?"
"What do I do?"
"I know better than to think the actual mob is like what the movies depict. So, what do you do?" Her voice is still scratchy, she should still be on vocal rest, but the anger is evident in her tone.
"The less you know the better." I repeated.
"Cut the bullshit. Jesus, do you think I'm gonna go to the cops or something?"
"We deal with weapon and drug trafficking. We have our hands in basically every underground dealing in Chicago, as well as associates in New York and, of course, Ireland." I admitted. A quick online search would reveal that was what most speculated we did. I knew what question was coming, and I knew I couldn't lie to her.
"Have you ever killed anyone?"
"Yes."
All of the color left her face. She stumbled to her feet and barely made it to the toilet before she lost the contents of her stomach. I placed a hand lightly on her back, hoping to soothe her, but she flinched away.
"Don't touch me."
Don't touch me.
My chest felt hollow as I looked at her; huddled against the wall as far away from me as she could get.
"Why would you do this to me?" she sobbed. "Why would you be so good to me? Why make me fall in love with you if it couldn't go anywhere?"
I don't know, baby. "Bella, I –"
"You're a criminal, I'm sure the police would love nothing more than to lock you up. If we're together every move you make would be scrutinized by the media, everyone would be looking for who you really are. I just, I don't understand how… I don't understand how the man who you are with me can be the same man who would do those kinds of things."
I was the worst kind of coward and didn't respond. Nothing I said would make her feel better.
"You could've told me so many times. You knew… you knew how Jacob lied to me and you just went and did the same thing. But it's just so much worse this time because it's you. I thought you were mine. My protector, my lover . . . my best friend."
"Bella, I will protect you," I vowed. No matter how much she hated me, I would always make sure she was safe. I knew it was coming, but when she asked me to leave it felt like she was telling me to never come back.
"There will be two men outside of your door. They… work for me. I'd like them to be with you at all times until –"
"No, I have as much security as I need. I don't need them."
"Bella, these men know – "
"I don't want them."
I nodded, but I would make sure Ben and Eric stayed as close to her as they could. Her safety was not up for negotiation. Bella walked me to the door and I couldn't resist stroking the soft skin of her cheek one more time. She flinched, but only slightly. "You're still my girl?"
She pulled away from me and I knew the answer.
When the door slammed behind me, Eric and Ben looked at me expectantly. "Stay with her. If anything happens to her I'll take both of you out myself."
..Sick..
I entered my parent's house knowing I was in for a shitty evening. It was Sunday dinner. My mother liked to have all of the children over at least once a week when our schedules permitted it. Fortunately for her, and unfortunately for me, it worked this week.
When I arrived, everyone was already talking in the living room. I gave my mother a kiss on her cheek and nodded at Carlisle. Things between my family and I were tense. It was only a matter of time before there was a blowout.
"Edward, you never come around anymore," Esme told me, frowning.
"Well, if Carlisle would stop being an insufferable dick all of the time –"
"Edward! Language!"
I shook my head, eagerly taking the drink handed to me by the newest maid.
The doorbell rang and Esme hopped up to get it. When she returned, Irina was on her arm.
Fucking hell.
Irina smiled at me and came to sit on the armrest of the chair I was in. I could smell her perfume from here and nearly gagged.
"I thought it might be a good time for you two to catch up," Esme told us, a perfectly polite smile on her face.
"A good time for you to try to set us up, you mean."
"Oh, Edward, your mother just invited me for dinner. Nothing more," Irina said sweetly. The kind of sweet that was too sweet and gave you a nasty cavity later.
"I have a girlfriend," I said bluntly. She wasn't currently talking to me, but she was still mine. I was still hers.
"Who?" Irina sneered.
"You wouldn't know her."
"Edward, that girl is hardly appropriate. She's not –"
"She's not what? Not related to enough criminals for you? She's… good and kind and passionate. She's got more talent in her fucking pinky than any of us have."
"She really is a pretty great girl," Jasper piped in.
"Yeah, Ma, if you got to know her –"
"She is not appropriate for Edward," Esme snapped.
My mother was a lovely woman, but she grew up with a silver spoon in her mouth and a skewed view of the world. I couldn't give a shit about status or standing, but the thought that I would marry someone not part of the Chicago elite would infuriate her.
"I love her."
"You can learn to love another."
I downed the rest of my drink quickly and stood, nearly knocking Irina off of her perch. I noticed Alice and Rosalie were suspiciously quiet through the conversation. Alice may like Bella, but she obviously doesn't care enough to defend her.
"You think she doesn't have a good enough status to be with me? She sure as hell has a better social standing than Irina ever will.
"Yes, the prominence of her in the media will be… troublesome. But I'll figure it out."
"It never fucking works, Edward! Mafia leaders have been with little Hollywood starlets in the past. They always sing when shit goes down, and then we're paying for your foolishness," Carlisle grunted.
"That won't happen."
"I can't let you take that risk."
"Is that a threat?" I asked, taking a step toward my father.
"Only if it needs to be."
We locked eyes for a moment before I stormed out of the room.
Within an hour I was in the air, on my way to New York. On my way to Bella.
..Sick..
She was gorgeous in sparkly little shorts and black tights that made her legs look a mile long. I couldn't wait to rip them off of her.
Bella was talking to Harry, an old friend of Alice's. Well, he was talking to her. Bella looked like she would rather a hole open up and swallow her whole.
As I approached, I heard her nearly shout, "Yeah, fuck you, too, buddy."
I wrapped an arm around her waist and reveled in the warmth of her body. "Is there a problem?"
Harry looked like he was about to shit his pants. "Uh, no. Not at all. I'm sorry."
I watched as he skittered off, and then turned to Bella. "Come with me."
I needed privacy for this conversation, and a crowded bar wasn't ideal. I didn't want to scare her by taking her away from the people though, so I settled on the women's restroom.
As I was locking the door behind us, Bella fumbled with her purse at the sink. I grabbed the empty pill bottle from her hand and read the label. Her mood stabilizers. "You only take these in the morning."
Everything clicked and I threw the bottle into the sink and grabbed her face. I searched her eyes. "Are you fucking high?" Her eyes were a little cloudy and a lot sad, but she didn't give off any worrisome signs.
"No, I'm not fucking high," she said, pushing my hands away. "I've just needed something to make this pit inside me go away! Because I can't do interview after interview about how happy I am about this movie or the tour when I feel like this!"
"Like what?"
"Like my whole world is falling apart! And the only person I want to talk to about it is you but you're gone!"
Her legs fell out from under her and she slumped on the floor.
I had watched countless people die and never felt a thing. Seeing this woman falling apart at my feet made my cold heart shatter.
I knelt in front of her. "I'm not gone, Bella. I'm right here." I grabbed one of her hands and placed it over my heart. "I'm right here."
"But I shouldn't want you anymore. I shouldn't still love you after what I know."
She looked so confused, so lost, and I didn't know how to make it all go away. I lifted her in my arms and set her on the counter. It would at least be a little cleaner than the floor. I cleaned her face as best I could, wiping the streaks of tears off of her cheeks.
"You're right. I'm not a good man, Bella. I've killed people. I happily killed the man who outed you to Volturi, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat if it meant keeping you safe.
"But, you have to understand, Bella, that we're not just going around causing mayhem. I killed Hunter because he betrayed my family. If protecting what I love means I have to get my hands dirty, then so be it." Please understand.
"Give me tonight. Give me tonight to prove to you that I'm still the man you thought I was."
"We shouldn't…"
"You've spent years doing what you were told. Your entire life is planned for you. You hate it, I know you do. But tonight, you're not going to be Bella Swan, Academy Award winning actress. You're just going to be Bella. My girl."
I was making progress. Her eyes were getting an excited glint. "What would we do?"
Bingo. "Whatever the fuck we want. We'll get the most expensive hotel suite and trash it. Or we could go to a movie theater and make out in the back if you want. We'll do whatever we want, not what everyone else wants us to do. What do you say, baby?"
I usually only called her baby when we were naked and writhing against each other. It was a dirty trick, but I wanted her to say yes. Needed it.
"A hotel suite sounds nice," she whispered.
I pulled her to me and kissed her with everything I had. "Wait in here for five minutes and then come out. I'll have the car waiting."
I bypassed several people who tried to stop me as I made my exit. I had no time for useless chatter. I had a girl to win back.
I was finishing up my call with the Four Seasons when she got in the car. We didn't talk much on our way. There was much to be said, but the car wasn't the place to have these conversations.
As I slid my credit card over to the concierge for the room, Bella bursted into laughter. I saw her eyes on the statement and couldn't help but smirk at her.
I nearly took her in the elevator. She was standing there in those sexy little shorts and all I could think about was the delicious flesh I knew was underneath.
"I'm fucking starving," Bella blurted out as soon as we were inside.
I grabbed the room service menu and sat on the stiff couch. "What would you like?"
Bella sat next to me and leaned her head on my shoulder to look at the book. I pressed my lips to the top of her head, reveling in the feel of her next to me again.
"A big, greasy burger. No, a steak. Oh, maybe – "
I chuckled at her indecisiveness and gave her lips a quick peck. "Fuck, you're adorable."
"A burger. With fries. Oh, and a milkshake!"
I instructed her to decide what kind of trouble we were going to get into next as I ordered one of everything off of the menu. I was only out of the room for a few minutes, but when I came back music was playing and Bella was trying to push one of the heavy couches across the room. "What are you trying to do?"
"I'm rearranging the furniture," she grunted, still fighting with the sofa. "So we can make a fort."
"You want to make a fort?"
"Yes."
I looked at her and for the first time I truly saw her for the young, twenty-one-year old girl she was. She was accomplished and self-sufficient so I often overlooked how young she was. But if she wanted to build a fort I would build her the best fort there ever was.
We were both covered in champagne later. Five thousand dollars' worth of it, but it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was the laughter that escaped her as it exploded all over us.
Bella took a few sips from the bottle and handed it back to me. "Jane and I were never as close as most sisters are. She's only four years older than me, but we never talked about boys or shared clothes or anything like that. I guess she was always closer to my mom, and I was always closer to dad. I just… I don't think I ever really fit with them."
I didn't know where the sudden honesty came from, but I appreciated it nonetheless. I would never take her trust for granted.
Pulling her into my lap I said, "You fit with me." She did. Perfectly.
It must have been the right thing to say because her lips were hard against mine and her hips started bucking against me. Bella tore my shirt away and didn't hesitate to start reacquainting herself with all of my exposed skin. "Say it."
I was distracted by her nipping teeth. "Say what?"
"That you love me."
So much, baby. "I love you. So much it fucking hurts."
Bella was frantic then, her hands gripping and scratching any skin they could. I didn't dare to hope that it meant she thought our love was worth the shit we would have to go through.
Hours later, after our bath where I was grilled for an hour about random facts about myself, Bella sat in the middle of the fort. It was a bit disheveled now; some sheets were falling down and there was clothing strewn everywhere, but it was our perfect spot.
I laid Bella down on the pile of blankets and got distracted by the look of pure satisfaction on her face. I had lost count of how many orgasms I had given her, but the constant pleasure agreed with her. She was stunning.
The night was more than just sex, but it was a nice reward after some of our conversations. Conversations about our jobs, or lives, our problems. We were both exhausted, but my cock was already at half-mast again.
My hands roamed along her legs, enjoying the silky skin. I tugged at her little toes, painted black now, and she giggled. I kissed up one leg, stopping at the sensitive skin right above her pussy. I couldn't resist placing a few kisses along her lips and clit, teasing the already sensitive and wet flesh.
I kissed my way up her body, lavishing both of her breasts until each nipple was a perfect peak, until each flick of my tongue got a gasp.
I pressed the flat of my tongue into her soft flesh and dragged it from the center of her chest up her neck, crudely licking every inch of her I could reach. I hovered over her, aligning us perfectly, but paused until she opened her eyes. Her eyes met mine and there was no mistaking the love in them now.
With kisses peppered to her cheeks, nose, and chin, I rested my forehead against hers and slid into her wet heat, groaning as her muscles clenched around me.
My thrusts were slow, each one very deliberate, each one speaking for itself.
I love you.
I'm sorry.
I'll make it work.
"I've never…" I whispered to her. "I've never made love before. Never like this."
Nothing had ever been like this. Nothing as pure and meaningful as this moment with Bella.
There wasn't an inch between us. Her arms clung to me and I fit my arms under her, gripping her shoulders to keep her with me. Our lips were always busy, leaving kisses wherever they could while whispering words of love.
I had never felt so completely, utterly loved in my entire life.
Bella's orgasm started to build and she gasped as it took over her body. I stilled, letting her ride it out before I started back up with my slow, even thrusts. I needed this moment to last as long as possible. I needed her to understand.
I would never love anyone like I loved Isabella Swan.
When I couldn't hold my release any longer, and when I felt Bella tense again, I buried my head in her neck. "Fuck," I grunted, biting at her neck as I finally let go.
After a few minutes to catch my breath, I heaved myself off of her and Bella immediately buried herself under my arm. I fell asleep listening to her steady breathing.
..Sick..
The fact that my arms were empty roused me. I fell asleep with a beautiful brunette in them, and I wanted to wake up with her in them too. As I became more aware, I heard a familiar voice, one that shouldn't be here.
Carlisle.
I shot up, grabbing my discarded boxers and the gun I had stashed under some cushions. My instincts told me I would need it.
"Edward has already made mistakes in the last few months that could have left him dead. I love my son, too, Isabella. Which is why, if you don't leave on your own, I'll have to take matters into my own hands."
I got to the small office just in time to see Carlisle pull a glock out and point it at Bella after his thinly veiled threat.
I wasted no time aiming mine directly at him. "What the fuck do you think you're doing here?"
I stepped toward Bella and pulled her behind me. I could feel her hands resting on my bare back, shaking just slightly.
"I'm saving you from making a mistake that will affect both of us."
"This is going too far, Carlisle, and you know it."
"Where's your loyalty, Edward?"
"Where's your loyalty? You come here to threaten the woman I love, and you ask me where my loyalty is? I'm your son, not another associate you can boss around."
Carlisle looked at me for a minute, then lowered his weapon. I kept mine raised. "Fine. Don't expect me to fix everything when this implodes."
I lower my glock as he passes, but don't relax until the door slams shut.
"Are you okay?"
Bella nodded but I could still see the lingering fear in her eyes. "What are we doing?"
"Don't worry about whatever he said to you, Bella. It's –"
"Are you in danger? Is being with me going to put you at risk?" Yes. It was a risk I was willing to take.
I hugged her to me. "I'm fine, baby. You don't need to worry about me."
"Is being with me going to put you in more danger that you were before?" she repeated.
"There have been some rumblings that people are skeptical about our relationship. It's nothing you have to worry about."
"But I do worry. I can't – I can't be the reason you end up dead."
"Everything will work out. Right now, your safety is the priority. After things calm down we can figure out how to make this work. Permanently. We just need time, Bella." Don't start doubting us now. Never doubt us.
"Time isn't going to change much, Edward."
Before I could respond her phone started ringing. She rushed out to silence her alarm and I made a stop in the bathroom before following her. She was rummaging through the blankets, looking for some salvageable clothing.
I handed her my button down from last night and her shorts. "Wear this."
"What about you?"
"I'll have someone bring me some clothes."
Once she was dressed Bella threw her arms around me. I wrapped mine around her just as tight. "Forget everything he said, Bella. It's just you and me, remember? Hold on to that and hold on to last night. I'll see you in four weeks, okay?"
Don't give up on us.
Don't give up on me.
She agreed, but there was still something wrong. The hug was too tight, too emotional. It felt like a hug goodbye.
A/N: We've already got some EPOV in HK about what he was doing during the shooting and such. Do you guys want his POV on the last chapter of HK or would you rather we moved on to some from rep? Let me know!
As always, thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing. You guys rock!