Hiya! This is chapter three. Thank you to my reviewers (all 2 of you XD) and those who story alert'd or whatever. But remember-reviews are my favorite!
Let me warn you right now: Long chapter is looooooong. I really wanted to get this whole scene out of the way, since it's mostly exposition (a writer's worst nightmare-2 exposition chapters in one story!). So I put it all in one chapter. Hope you've got some time on your hands, and enjoy.
"What. The hell." This was just too weird.
The barn had landed in the middle of what appeared to be a town, albiet a weird one. The houses were just the right size for Brutus, but appeared to be for people. Weirder still, there was no one in sight. What there were a lot of were flowers. I'd never seen so many, and in such vibrant colors.
Speaking of vibrant, the ground I was standing on caught my eye immediatly. It was a bright yellow, and made of brick. I'd never seen yellow bricks before, and questioned why someone would make an entire road out of them.
Needless to say, I was stunned silent by all this. Even Brutus was barkless.
Finally, I managed to say,
"Brutus?"
He merely sniffed, still taking it in.
"I don't know about you...but I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."
At this, he just turned and looked me dead in the eye, as if to say, "Ya think?"
"I don't even think we're on the same planet," I commented as I began to walk around the little town. "Hello? Anybody home?" I called out, hoping somebody would answer. I already had a list full of questions.
Brutus barked and I turned around, hoping we had finally found someone.
He was barking at a bubble.
I couldn't help but laugh as I walked over and picked him up. "Relax, ya goof. That bubble's not gonna hurt yo-"
I stopped mid-word. I had just noticed the bubble was getting bigger. And was headed straight towards us.
I quickly backed away from it. I didn't know what was gonna happen-this world was new to me. Hell, the bubble could have caused a nuclear explosion, for all I knew!
But instead, the bubble just disappeared, and in its place was a strange-looking woman.
She had vibrant red, curly hair, but her face seemed old somehow-wise. She wore so much pink and glitter it made me squint, from her gigantic silver crown to the full skirt of her glittery, pastel pink dress. In her hands she carried a thin wand.
I stared for a minute or two, before muttering, "Now I KNOW we're not on Earth."
If the woman heard this statement, she didn't show it. She merely smiled at me.
I was about to ask who she was, where I was, how I was supposed to get back to MY planet, when she beat me to it with a question of her own.
"Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?"
Well, THAT sure threw me for a loop. "I'm not a witch!" I raised my voice probably a little more than I should have. But she called me a witch!
"Oh!" The woman seemed surprised and a tad confused. "Well..." She thought for a moment, before her eyes landed on Brutus. "Is that the witch?"
I laughed at this. "Brutus isn't a witch, he's a dog! And a guy!"
"Oh," Now she truly looked confused. "Well, I'm a little muddled."
' "Muddled"?' I thought, but let her continue.
"You see, the Munchkins called me here because a new witch has just dropped a house on the Wicked Witch of the East. And here's the house," She gestured towards the barn.
"And here you are," She gestured towards me.
"And that's all that's left of the Wicked Witch of the East."
At this, she gestured once again towards the house, but this time I saw something I'd never noticed before.
Two feet sticking out from under the barn.
"HOLY SHIT!!!" I screamed, running towards the barn. "Hang in there, I'll get this off of you somehow!"
"It's too late, child," The woman was serene as ever. "She's dead."
I sat in shock. 'I killed someone.' The thought wouldn't leave. I knew it was an accident-
But, then again, so was that drunk driving accident that killed my dad.
And I still hadn't forgiven that guy.
The woman spoke up again, pulling me out of my soliloquy.
"So, what the Munchkins want to know is, are you a good witch, or a bad witch?"
"I already told you, I'm not a witch! I'm Dorothy Gale, from Kansas, USA, Planet Earth!" I was getting exasperated with this glittery woman. "I can't be a witch because witches are old and ugly!!"
Suddenly, I heard tiny giggles all around me. I froze stiff and Brutus growled. They stopped as quickly as they started.
"What was that?" I asked, looking around.
"The Munchkins." Still calm. Did ANYTHING get a reaction out of this woman?! "They are laughing because, I am a witch. I am Glinda, the Witch of the North"
Yikes. Awkward. "Oh," was all I managed before I started rambling. "Well, I didn't mean you're old and ugly, cause you're not! I mean, I didn't even know you were a witch, and I've never heard of pretty witches, kinda seems like an oxymoron, really-"
Glinda's laughing shut me up. "Only bad witches are ugly."
I heard more giggling, and spun around to find the source, but again saw nothing.
"That was the Munchkins," Glinda explained. "They are happy because you have freed them from the Wicked Witch of the East."
"Are they invisible or something?"
More laughter. Whatever these Munchkins were, they were starting to piss me off.
"The Munchkins are the little people who live in this land-it's Munchkinland, and you are their national heroine, my dear. You cannot see them because they are hiding. It's all right," At this she turned and adressed the whole area. "You may all come out and thank her."
Then she started singing. So this was a musical world too? I started to wonder how hard I'd hit my head back there.
"Come out, come out, wherever you are
And meet the young lady who fell from a star!"
A star? I was about to question this, when I noticed movement.
All the flowers I saw were rising, and little eyes were peeking out from under them. Tiny little people were coming out from every nook and cranny of the town. I had to supress a scream.
But Mother Serenity Glinda was still unfazed, and continued to sing.
"She fell from the sky
She fell very far
And Kansas, she says, is the name of her star!"
"Kansas, she says, is the name of her star," the little Munchkins echoed.
I held growling Brutus tighter as the Munchkins began to circle around me. Glinda came into the little circle.
"She brings you good news
Or haven't you heard?
When she fell out of Kansas
A miracle occurred!"
The music-from-nowhere got faster, and Glinda was looking at me expectantly, as were all the Munchkins. Was I supposed to sing? I decided to just explain what happened.
"It really was no miracle, what happened was just this:
The wind began to switch
The house to pitch
And suddenly the hinges started to unhitch"
This was so weird. Words were just flowing out of me, and they were rhyming too. Weirder still, I was singing, even though I had no intention of it. I tried to stop myself a few times, but it didn't work- my mouth would just open again on its own and keep singing. 'This world is so freaky,' I thought as I sang against my will.
Thankfully, Glinda took over.
"Just then, the witch
To satisfy an itch
Went flying on her broomstick
Thumbing for a hitch."
"And oooh, what happened then was rich!" One of the Munchkins spoke up.
Then they all began to sing-gossip with each other.
"The house began to pitch
The kitchen took a slitch
It landed on the Wicked Witch
In the middle of a ditch
WHICH was not a healthy SIT-uation for a Wicked Witch!"
I tried to explain that it wasn't my house and didn't even have a kitchen to slitch, (what does that word even mean?) but now they were dancing with each other, still singing of course.
"The house began to pitch
The kitchen took a slitch
It landed on the Wicked Witch in the middle of a ditch
WHICH was not a healthy SIT-uation for the Wicked Witch
Who began to twitch
And was reduced
To just a stitch
Of what was once the Wicked Witch!"
Man, this woman must have been a real witch, in both senses of the word, for these little people to be so happy about her death.
Suddenly, a male Munchkin stepped up and looked right at me. I backed up a little.
"We thank you very sweetly
For doing it so neatly."
Another Munchkin, female this time, walked up to me.
"You've killed her so completely
That we thank you, very sweetly."
On the last word, she handed me a pretty pink flower. I smiled and took it, but as soon as the woman-Munchkin had turned her back, Brutus had eaten the flower.
I sighed. Poor guy was probably hungry.
Glinda was speaking now.
"Let the joyous news be spread
The wicked old witch, at last, is dead!"
The Munchkins all cheered and led me to a rather large carriage. It drove around the tiny city, and Munchkins would sometimes stop to shake my hand in the middle of singing and dancing in joy.
"Ding dong, the witch is dead!
Which old witch?
The Wicked Witch!
Ding dong, the Wicked Witch is dead!
Wake up, you sleepyheads!
Rub your eyes, get out of bed!
Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead!
She's gone where the goblins go
Below! Below, below
Yo ho! Let's open up and sing
And ring the bells out!
Ding dong, the merry-oh
Sing it high!
Sing it low!
Let them know the Wicked Witch is dead!!"
Suddenly, the carriage stopped, and some Munchkins led me out.
Out of the biggest house in the city (which was still pretty small) a large, jolly looking man with a handlebar mustache and a fancy green suit stepped out. I guessed he was the mayor or something. With him was a slimmer man dressed in a purple suit complete with purple top hat. He had a mustache as well, but looked quite grumpy.
The jolly man adressed me.
"As Mayor of the Munchkin City..."
I was right.
"In the county of the land of Oz..."
Oz? Is that where I was? Now I was sure I wasn't on Earth. How in the hell was I supposed to get home?!
"I welcome you most regally-"
Purple Man interrupted,
"But we've got to verify it legally!
To see..."
"To see?" Repeated the Mayor, confused.
"If she..."
"If she?" 'She'? Were they talking about me?
"Is morally, ethically-"
"Spiritually, physically-" One man interuppted.
"Positively, absolutely-" Another man joined in.
Was I going to have to go through some test?
By now they were all singing.
"Un-de-niably, and re-liably DEAD!"
Wait, what? They were going to TEST if the Witch was dead? I looked over at Glinda to get her take on this.
She was just smiling like, "Aren't they cute?"
The sooner I got out of here, the sooner I could get my sanity back.
An official looking man in a blue robe with matching fedora walked up holding a scroll that read, 'Certificate of Death'.
Oh dear Jesus.
"As coroner, I must afer
I've thouroghly examined her
And she's not only merely dead
She's really most sincerely dead!"
How can someone be merely dead?! I was getting a headache.
The Mayor was speaking-actually speaking, not singing. This was a breath of fresh air.
"Then this is a day of independence, for all the Munchkins, and their descendants!"
"If any!" Purple Guy added. I gave him a weird look. Was that really neccesary?
The Mayor spoke again.
"Let the joyous news be spread
The wicked old witch at last is dead!"
The Munchkins cheered and the "Ding dong" song started all over again. I was about ready to tear my hair out. Would it never end?!
"Ding dong, the witch is dead!
Which old witch?
The Wicked Witch!
Ding dong, the Wicked Witch is dead!
Wake up, you sleepyheads!
Rub your eyes, get out of bed!
Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead!
She's gone where the goblins go
Below! Below, below
Yo ho! Let's open up and sing
And ring the bells out!
Ding dong, the merry-oh
Sing it high!
Sing it low!
Let them know the Wicked Witch is dead!!"
After the song, trumpets played the tune, and I was directed to the slightly raised platform in the center of town, with the munchkins circled all around me. Three little girls in funny hats and tutus walked in front of me. They were actually kind of cute.
They began to dance and sing in their tiny, high-pitched voices.
"We represent the Lullaby League
The Lullaby League
The Lullaby League
And in the name of the Lullaby Leeeeeeague
We wish to welcome you to Munchkinland!"
They curtsied at the end of their song and blew kisses at me as they left. I hesitantly blew one back and waved.
They were being replaced by three boys, all keeping their mouthes on one side of their face. I stifled a laugh.
They began to sing too, although it wasn't nearly as pleasing on the ears as the Lullaby League.
"We represent the Lollipop Guild
The Lollipop Guild
The Lollipop Guild
And in the name of the Lollipop Guuuuuild
We wish to welcome you to Munchkinland!"
They offered me a gigantic lollipop, which I took and thanked them for. I unwrapped it and let Brutus lick it as all the Munchkins gathered around me.
"We welcome you to Munchkinland
Tra-LA la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la!"
A pause. I thought maybe they were finally done-
"TRA-la-la-la-la, la laaaa!!"
They all bowed and curtsied to me on the last "la". I couldn't help but smile. These Munchkins were actually very cute, once I got past the initial culture shock.
I felt a tug on the bottom of my blue tank top, and found the Mayor beaming up at me.
"From now on, you'll be history!"
"You'll be hist-"
"You'll be hist-" The two men from before interrupted the Mayor, but he didn't really seem to mind.
"You'll be history!" He repeated.
Then all the Munchkins chimed in.
"And we will glorify your naaaame!"
"You will be a bust-" The Mayor started, but was interrupted by those two men again. I wondered if interrupting was actually their job in the town. It wouldn't shock me-they already had a guy whose job was to verify that squished people were dead.
"Be a bust-"
"Be a bust-"
"In the Hall of Fame!" All the Munchkins sang.
I laughed nervously and rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly. I didn't like being the center of attention in the first place, but to be honored like this for KILLING someone? It was just weird.
'I guess that's the way to define Oz,' I thought. 'Weird. Might as well get used to it."
So I just watched as the Munchkins danced around singing nonsense words.
"Tra-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la,
Tra-la-la-la-la, la laaa!!
Tra-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la,
Tra-la-la-la-la, la laaa!!
Tra-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Tra-la-la-la-la LAAAAAAAA-"
BOOM!!!
I almost fell over backwards from shock. It looked like someone had dropped an explosive smoke bomb right in the middle of Munchkinland. The Munchkins had all hidden or were cowering on the ground.
They were cowering from a woman, dressed all in black, with a black pointy hat atop her head. Her skin was bright green, and she carried a broomstick.
Now this was the kind of witch I was used to.
'How the hell did she get out from under the barn?! That thing must weigh a ton, at least!'
I leaned over to Glinda and whispered angrily, "You said she was dead!"
Still. Calm. I wanted to slap her, just to see if she'd be shocked at all.
"That was her sister, the Wicked Witch of the East. This is the Wicked Witch of the West. She's worse than the other one was."
Great. Out of the frying pan and into the freakin' wildfire.
Suddenly, the witch turned around, staring down all the cowering Munchkins.
"Who killed my sister?!" Her voice was raspy and very creepy. "Who killed the Witch of the East?!"
She then spotted me, and I jumped a little at the slightly crazed look in her eyes
.
"Was it you?!?!" She practically screamed as she got right in my face.
I tried to back away, but just ended up running into Glinda with my backside.
"I-Well, I didn't," I tried to explain. "Th-The barn did. I did happen to be IN it, but it's not like I could steer it-"
"Didn't mean to, eh?" She cut me off. "Accident, eh?" For one shining moment I thought she understood, and I was off the hook.
But then she got closer than ever, close enough so I could see the evil look in her eyes. "Well, my pretty, I can cause accidents too!!!"
"Aren't you forgetting the ruby slippers?" So even the impending danger being put on my life wasn't enough for a little emotion from Glinda? And what was she talking about, ruby slippers?
But this seemed to distract Ms. Asparagus, and that was totally fine by me.
"Ah, yes!! The slippers!" She made her way towards the house , muttering the word "slippers" all the way.
Geez, is everyone in this world freakin' insane?
Suddenly, the Witch screamed bloody murder, making me cover my ears and Brutus whimper.
"They're gone!" She turned back to me, and my stomach jolted before I realized her rage was aimed at Glinda.
"What have you done with them?! Give them back to me, or I'll-"
"It's too late," Glinda calmly interuppted. "There they are, and there they'll stay."
She was pointing down, so I looked in that direction to see if she'd hidden them underground or something.
They were on my feet.
"What-?" I started sputtering, my head swivelling back and forth, from Glinda to the shoes. "Why did-how did-I don't want 'em!!"
It was around this time the Witch decided to interrupt, and break my eardrums.
"Give me back my slippers!!" She screeched. "I'm the only one who knows how to use them! They're of no use to you! Give them back to me, GIVE THEM BACK!!"
"Here, take, 'em! Don't throw a fit!" I lifted my foot up behind me to take the shoes off, but Glinda put a hand on my shoulder.
"Kerp tight inside of them," She sounded serious, yet still calm, of course. "Their magic must be very powerful, or she wouldn't want them so badly."
So the shoes were magic now? I looked down at them. Aside from being overly sparkly, they looked like any old shoes to me.
"You stay out of this, Glinda, or I'll fix you as well!" The Witch was saying.
Glinda laughed a melodious laugh. "Oh, nonsense, you have no power here! Now begone, before someone drops a house on YOU."
The Witch suddenly looked up, scanning the sky. I glanced up too. Were falling houses a common occurrence here?
"Very well," She said when the coast was clear. "I'll bide my time. And as for you, my fine lady!"
She turned back to me, and I backed away a little.
"It's true I can't attend to you here and now as I'd like," She threatened me. "But after a suitable period of mourning for my sister, I'll have my revenge. So just try to stay out of my way. Just try! I'll get you my pretty...and your little dog, too!!"
At this, Brutus whimpered and shook, and I held him tight, staring the Witch down.
'Threatening Brutus? Oh, it's on now!'
But I couldn't stare her down for long. She was already running away, cackling loudly.
Then, with another explosion and burst of smoke, she was gone.
"It's all right," Glinda was saying to the Munchkins. "You can get up, she's gone!"
I was still angrily glaring at the spot where the Witch had disappeared.
"I'm afraid you've made a powerful enemy of the Wicked Witch of the West." Glinda said to me.
"Fantastic," I muttered under my breath.
"The sooner you get out of Oz altogether, the safer you'll sleep, my dear." She put a hand on my shoulder and smiled at me. Was this really a time for smiling?
"Well, I'm all for gettin' the heck outta here and back home-but how am I supposed to do that? I can't very well go back the way I came."
'And I don't really want to,' I thought. My derriere was still sore.
"No, I suppose not," Glinda pondered for a moment. "The only person who might know would be the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz himself."
Many of the Munchkins "ooo"d and "aah"d, and some even bowed their heads.
"The Wizard of Oz?" This place has witches AND wizards?! "Is he a good wizard or a bad wizard?"
"Oh, very good, but very mysterious," Glinda assured me. "He lives in the Emerald City, and that's a long journey from here. Did you bring your broomstick with you?"
I gave her a look. 'Is she for real right now?'
"Uh, no, just plum forgot it today." My brother always said sarcasm was the mind's defense against stupid.
I had a feeling I'd be using it a lot here.
Glinda didn't pick up on it, however.
"Well then, you'll have to walk," Glinda led me more toward the strange road of brick. "The Munchkins will lead you to the border of Munchkinland."
'Cause God forbid I get lost three feet over there' I thought, but said nothing.
"And remember," said Glinda, "never let those slippers off your feet for a moment, or you will be at the mercy of the Wicked Witch of the West."
What was up with these shoes?
"Thanks for the advice, Glinda, but I don't suppose you could give me a map to this Emerald City?" I asked.
"Well, it's always best to start at the beginning," She led me to where the road spiraled in the center. "And all you have to do is follow the Yellow Brick Road." She began to walk away.
"Wait a minute!" I urged. "What if-?"
"Just follow the Yellow Brick Road," She repeated.
And with that, she dissappeared with a soft 'pop'.
I stared for a second. "Are all the witches show-offs about their entrances and exits?" I said, more to myself than anyone.
I looked down. "Follow the Yellow Brick road?"
I started to walk around the spiral, until I got to the road itself. I could hear faint music.
Oh no.
"Follow the Yellow Brick Road!" The mayor said to me. More Munchkins followed his example, establishing a beat. Here we go.
"Follow the Yellow Brick Road!"
"Follow the Yellow Brick Road!"
"Follow the Yellow Brick Road!"
Then they all started to sing.
"Follow the Yellow Brick Road
Follow the Yellow Brick Road
Follow the, follow the, follow the, follow the
Follow the Yellow Brick Road!"
I couldn't help it-these guys were adorable, and the song was pretty catchy.. I smiled in spite of myself and even began to sashay down the road to the beat.
"You're off to see the Wizard!
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!
You'll find he is a whiz of a wiz
If ever a wiz there was!
If ever, oh ever a wiz there was
The Wizard of Oz is one because,
Because, because, because, because, becaaaaaaaause
Because of the wonderful things he does!"
I noticed they weren't as loud, and when I turned around, they were all gathered a few feet away from me, waving goodbye.
I hadn't realized I'd reached the border. I waved goodbye back, hoping I'd see them again.
What can I say? They grew on me.
I turned around and boldly walked onward wherever this Yellow Brick Road would take me as I heard the Munchkins sing the final few lines.
"You're off to see the Wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of Oooooz!"
16 pages…*groans and flops down on imaginary bed* I've never even written anything for SCHOOL that was 16 pages! Well, the next chapter should be less grueling, and hopefully a bit more interesting (can you tell I don't like Munchkinland?). And-is there an echo in here?- REVIEW!!!!!1!!!eleven