Although fully aware of his presence, L made no indications of verbally acknowledging his entering into the comfortably-sized bedroom. He simply let the figure stand at the doorway, observing L's actions. Slightly frustrated at the lack of greeting, the figure, B, opted for starting a conversation rather than being brought into one.
"Packing?" He enquired, though the notion of packing was fairly obvious.
"Mm." The raven didn't bother to look around.
"You're leaving?" Despite being portrayed as a question, it had been a statement.
"In three hours." L reached for another shirt, failing miserably at folding the previous, simply shoving it in a lump into the suitcase.
Fully aware he would hate the reply, the younger male couldn't not ask. "You were going to wake everyone up between One to Four to say goodbye? Only 27% of us are insomniacs, you know. Including yourself and Whammy. Well, I suppose Near too, but he's only up trying to silence Mello..." He trailed off.
Pausing, L allowed his hair to fall over his face. "There wasn't time to wait..." he murmured, as if speaking to the room and not to the person in it.
B kicked the floor with the tip of his toe. "When was the last time you said goodbye before leaving?"
"You don't have the right to say that. You've never said a word before disappearing for weeks at a time, and-"
"The right? Why should I bother telling someone if I want to get away from this shit-hole for a while? Do you think Roger would care? Do you think anyone would care?"
'It wasn't always a shit-hole.'
L span around on his heels and glared. "Don't try to guilt me into staying. Acting all unloved and heartbroken doesn't work on me, Back-up. You should know that by now." The words were sharp, but he made it seem as if he'd wanted to soften them by his tone.
"I wasn't guilting you, Lawliet. You're far too dead inside to feel guilt, and I'm quite aware of that."
Opening his mouth to bite back, the detective retreated and returned to "packing" his clothes, bitterly. Fighting with B again wouldn't change the situation, so it was pointless to waste the energy. Returning to pathetically trying to stuff four pairs of his regular white, long sleeved tops into his suitcase, L remained silent, while the younger of the two quietly fumed, biting his lip in annoyance. He scraped the soft skin back and fourth, feeling the layers peel off under his teeth.
"Oh, and don't bite your lip. You'll bleed." Without even looking behind him to check; L knew B well enough to tell how he was reacting to a situation without looking. It came as naturally as breathing.
The successor scoffed. "You do."
Exhale.
"Don't run off while I'm gone again. Roger panics that you'll do something stupid, and then he uses the emergency line, and then he has to destroy the phone, and it's all a waste of time."
"But it's okay to go when you're here?"
"Because I can assure him you aren't going to steal a tractor or something of the sort." Staring at his successor from the corner or his eye and smirking a little, pained as it was.
"That was just one time. You all act like I do it regularly."
"Once is quite enough, I assure you..." L snickered under his breath at the memory of the unfazed expression on the face of the boy being pulled out of a ditch from an upside down farmer's tractor, acting as if the crash had been intentional.
"...Except..." His voice so soft, L almost questioned if he had imagined it. "When you're here, I have no reason to leave." BB's eyelashes seemed to hide his eyes as if embarrassed, despite the fact he held no shame for the confession. Not like they both didn't know it. It wasn't like they hadn't said it before.
"Because I'm the only reason you stay here." Despite being portrayed as a statement, it had been a question.
"..."
"..."
Silence.
Awkward, uncomfortable silence.
Because silence speaks more than words, anyway.
Because even the fighting, the yelling, the screaming, and the arguing over the simplest of things didn't hurt as much as saying a few words. A few words that people, other people, say on a daily basis.
Because silence hurts more than saying "You're the reason I'm still here."
And because silence is easier than confessing that it isn't a mutual feeling; that even knowing he was the only reason the boy still stood at the dusty oak doorway, leaning back with his foot digging into the floor until his toes turned white just for something to do other than walk up to the man he loved, always loved, grab him, and kiss the air out of their lungs...
But saying nothing was still easier.
Not saying "Goodbye." hurt less.
L gripped his suitcase, looking in every direction but at B's face.
He walked past him.
'There's nothing to hold on to any more.'
He didn't flinch when his sleeve was grabbed. No reaction, no eye-contact. Just waiting for it to pass...
'Just let go.'
The grasp was loosened. L continued out of the room, not so much as looking back.
'I don't believe in saying goodbye until the very last meeting, anyway.'
Beyond felt the warm, wet, trickle of red down from his lower lip dripping from his chin as his listened for the footsteps, waiting for them to fade into the halls.
"So, this is our goodbye?"
'Were you counting down the days?'
Droplets of red splashed onto his top, the colour spreading out on the white like blooming flowers.
"And you never said it."
'I can't help but despise you.'
Lack of reviews means a lower chance of finding out about Beyond's Whimsical Tractor Experience(s)~
Oh, and for the notice, the italics are going to be quotes from previous events, not just one single event.
Thank you for reading!