As always to my fantastic betas - Stella, Marjo and Nicole - just reading your email comments are enough to make every second of writing this worth it! Thank you!
There is some (what I hope is) Caskett goodness in this chapter...so for those who were looking forward to it...let me know what you think in the review area...
now...on to Chapter 3
"The most important things are the hardest things to say."
- Stephen King, The Body
"I should have told you…" said Kate. She looked to her right where Castle sat in the passenger seat of her Crown Victoria. They had been silent since leaving the 12th precinct on their way to the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner. His gaze was fixed looking out the front window as Kate turned the car and headed south, down 2nd Avenue. "Castle, say something…anything…" she urged him as he kept staring. Now she was getting irritated. "Ok, Castle, come on. Will you stop sulking and talk to me…?"
He turned to her, surprised. She caught his gaze for a moment before turning her attention back to the road as the light at 7th Street turned red. Perfect, she thought, just enough time for me to beat it out of him if I have to.
"Sorry…I'm not sulking." He finally ventured, " I'm just thinking."
"About…?"
"Everything."
"Could you be any more vague?" she asked. He smiled at the hint of laughter in her voice.
"Oh I definitely could…"
"I don't doubt it." She was smiling. He didn't even need to be looking at her to know it. He could hear it in her voice. The way the soft cadence of it was so endlessly able to change his mood astounded him. She could take his breath away, make him smile, make him laugh and make him angry with just one comment or a look. It was a special quality that only this wonderful woman next to him possessed. No one else in the world had ever made him feel so secure and so in danger at the same time. It was something he had only ever written about, and never experienced before her. He could feel her staring at him, her eyes boring into the left side of his face. He shifted in his seat so that his body was partially turned toward her.
"I was just wondering what I'm going to do to fill my days once this case is over."
"Well…I guess you could try writing…" she offered.
"Ha….ha…" he mocked, "Very funny…well played, Detective. Yes, obviously there is that. It's just…well, I…" his voice trailed off.
"Castle…you can tell me anything." She mimicked his words to her from inside the precinct, lifting her right hand off the steering wheel and placing it on his left hand, which was resting on the console between them. They only touched for an instant before she placed her hand back on the steering wheel to turn the car east onto 4th Street, but it was enough to leave the skin on both their hands tingling.
"I'm not ready for this to be over." He let the words hang in the silence between them, wondering if she would catch the complexity and numerous connotations of the phrase. The least of it being that he couldn't even imagine not spending every day here…with her, let alone begin to think about not having her in his life. Her voice shook him out of his reverie:
"Neither am I." she said softly. It was barely even audible but he knew she had said it by the look on her face. Even in profile he could see the change in her demeanor, and by the time she turned the car heading north on 1st Avenue toward the OCME Manhattan office, silence had returned to the car. Kate pulled into a rare open spot right in front of the building and placed the car in park. She turned the ignition off and removed the keys, holding the warm metal in her hands.
"We going inside?" he asked. She turned her upper body towards him in her seat so her right shoulder was resting against the seat back. She looked right into his eyes and he couldn't suppress the smile that took over his face at the look of sheer determination and defiance gracing her elegant features. "The look on your face both terrifies and excites me…."
"I say we do everything we can to fight this." She said resolutely.
"Gates said the decision was final…I'm out at the end of this case."
"When have you ever listened to a direct order from anyone…but especially from her?"
"Good point. So what's the master plan, Obi Wan?"
"Really? Now you're Star Wars referencing me?"
"Well you know, turnabout…"
"We can fight this, Castle. I don't know exactly how yet…but I will…she's tried to kick you out before and it didn't work…"
"Yes but the circumstances were different," he interjected. "The mayor was a suspect in a murder investigation, and he's a friend of mine, so obviously I can't be objective…"
"Well…"
"We're not going down that rabbit hole…" he cut her off. He didn't want to rehash the Damian Westlake debacle…at least he had been right about the Mayor's innocence, if not about Damian's.
"Look. I know the circumstances were different…" Kate continued.
"After tonight there isn't another book due…"
"There has to be some way to get her to change her mind. And I will find it." She stated. She turned and opened her door, stepped out of the car and slammed the door shut. Castle followed suit and stepped out of the car into the chilled fall air. The leaves on the rare spattering of trees along the street were turning hues of golden yellow, orange and ruby red painting the edges of his view with a halo of color rarely seen in the city, at least outside of Central Park.
He caught up with her at the door into the OCME office. They crossed through the all-too-familiar lobby to the elevators. Kate pushed the down button and they stood waiting for the car to recall to the ground level. Once on the elevator they stood a discreet distance from one another. They did not speak, maybe out of fear that something that shouldn't be said - in this time and place - might spill out, she mused to herself. She ventured a look to her right and suppressed a smile when she caught him looking at her. They continued the ride to the morgue in silence as they both contemplated the ways to ensure their partnership would not end when the case did.
The elevator chimed; signaling it had reached their desired destination. They both looked to the doors as they opened. Castle stepped aside and swept his right hand out in front of him, motioning for her to go first making them both smile.
"Hey Lanie," Kate called as they stepped through the double doors into the autopsy bay. "We got here as quickly as we could. Please tell me you have good news?"
"Well, I think I do…" Lanie responded as she walked them toward the charred remains lying on her autopsy table in the middle of the room. "Dr. Miller, the Forensic Odontologist I requested to verify the dentals should be here tomorrow afternoon."
"Good, we should have Evelyn Masters' x-rays by then. Her parents are flying out, and they should be here by 11:00am tomorrow morning." Kate said.
"Well at least there's one small favor in this case."
"On the phone you said you may have a time and cause of death?"
"Well time I'm putting between 11:30pm Sunday night and 11:00am Monday morning."
"That's a pretty big window…" Kate said.
"That's not a window, that's a gaping hole." Castle said.
"Thank you for stating the obvious, Castle," Lanie teased. "Yes, it's a large time frame but without knowing exactly what killed her, I can't narrow down the time any more than that."
"Didn't you say you had a cause?"
"A preliminary cause only, not a definitive one. I sent off a sample for analysis to see if there was any accelerant used that wouldn't be easily identified by either smell or sight. It's going to take about a day, so hopefully I'll have that back for you once we have the ID. I do know; however, that it takes more than five hours to fully cook a 110-pound human being.
And based on trace evidence from the alley, the body was lying there for at least 18 hours by the time we all arrived at the crime scene, which means there is no way that she was burned any later than 11:00am Monday morning."
"And by then there was likely a pick-up game going on the court so someone would have seen something and hopefully called it in and no one did. So what's the prelim COD?" Kate asked.
"I'm going with Smoky the Bear on a psychotic rampage." Castle said. He was met by narrowed eyes and pursed lips from both the women in front of him.
"Didn't Smokey the Bear preach preventing forest fires?" Kate asked.
"Right…Ok, how about…Captain Beatty on a psychotic rampage?"
"Do you have any theories that do not involve fictional beings?"
"Fire Swamp?" He stated without hesitation but with raised eyebrows and that grin. "What? Inconceivable?" he added noting the exasperated looks on their faces, "You said no fictional BEINGS, nothing about fictional PLACES." He said defiantly.
"And back to reality…" Kate said as she returned her attention to Lanie.
"As you wish." Castle lightly sung, making Kate's eyes go wide. She barely registered Lanie's grin before she took a deep breath.
"So cause of death?" Kate said trying desperately to turn the conversation back to the case at hand.
"I'm going with death by fire…." Castle said.
"Thank you, Castle," Lanie said. "Right now death was caused by burning…"
"So she wasn't dead when she was…"
"Lit up like a roman candle?" Castle finished.
"You know your boundless tact amazes me…" Kate said sarcastically.
"Hey if I don't get it out know then I'll say something in front of the family. And you wouldn't want that now would you, Detective?" Ignoring him she turned her attention back to Lanie.
"No, she wasn't dead…" Lanie said. "though you will be interested to know that there was minimal damage to her lungs."
"Which means she wasn't breathing deeply or gasping for air…" Beckett exclaimed.
"That's right."
"You would think if she was asleep that being burned alive would wake her up and fight like hell to STOP burning." Castle said.
"It's looking to me like she was drugged, maybe anesthetized. Something that knocked her out to the point where even if she did wake up she wouldn't fully comprehend what was happening to her until it was too late."
"You'll let me know when the analysis comes back about the accelerant?" Kate asked.
"You're the first to know after me." Lanie said.
The sound of a cell phone ringing jarred them each out of the conversation. Castle reached into his inside jacket pocket and pulled out his cell phone, frowning as he checked the screen.
"I should take this." He said and walked out the door answering the call and placing the phone to his ear as the door closed.
"OK, now that he's gone, dish."
"What are you talking about?" Kate asked her friend.
"Javier said something happened at the precinct but he didn't know what."
"What makes him think something happened?"
"Because when he and Kevin came back into the bullpen he said you and Castle both looked like someone just run over a puppy." Kate took in her friend and sighed. She turned to make certain that Castle was engrossed in his phone call and then returned her attention to Lanie.
"Iron Gates laid down the law. Castle's out once the case is done."
"What?" Lanie said, her eyes widening and her jaw going slack.
"Yup."
"So, what are you going to do?"
"What do you mean?" Kate asked evasively.
"Girl, don't make me come across this table at you. You know exactly what I mean. How are you going to hoodwink her into keeping him around?"
"I haven't figured that out yet."
"So you are working on a plan?" Lanie asked, her eyebrows raised and the edges of her mouth turned upwards in a mischievous smile.
"Yes…" Kate reiterated. "I am working on a plan. Don't look so happy about it…" she said in response to Lanie's smile widening even further.
"Oh, sweetie, you two have got to stop doing this…"
"Doing what?" Kate asked, mock bewilderment crossing her features.
"What did I just say to you? Do I need to come over there?" Lanie asked, hands on her hips. Kate only smiled in response.
"When are you two ever going to stop acting like you don't care; but then stopping at nothing to make certain you don't lose each other?"
"It's the dance we do…" Kate said with a slight shrug of her shoulders.
"And it's choreographed to within an inch of its life…"
"So what's going on with you and Javi?" Kate asked loudly, changing the subject.
"Oh no…no, no, no, no, no…" Lanie said as she grabbed a file off her tray table full of medical instruments
"Oh come on, you can do it but I can't?"
"I think Castle's coming back in…"
"Nice try…come on, I talked now it's your turn…" Kate said as Lanie walked back toward her and came up on Kate's left side.
"I don't know…honestly," Lanie responded to the incredulous look on her friend's face.
"You two have been 'taking it slow' since, what, February? And you still haven't found the time to sit down and discuss your relationship?"
"Sad isn't it…." Lanie stated.
"And you balk at me and Castle…"
"Hey at least Javi and I have accepted – and acknowledged - the fact that we want to be together…"
"Shut it." Kate said with a smile, turning from Lanie and looking to the body on the table beside her.
"You and I are quite the duo aren't we?" Lanie said after a beat causing both women to laugh.
"You two look like you're having way too much fun…" They both turned at the sound of Castle's voice as he walked back through the double doors into the autopsy bay.
"Well you know, all work and no play…" Lanie said as she moved away from Kate and back toward a desk on the far side of the room.
"Speaking of play," Castle began, "You still coming to the book launch tonight?"
"I wouldn't miss it for the world!" Lanie exclaimed.
Kate felt the vibration of her cell phone in her pocket and reached into her jacket. She checked the screen, seeing it was a text message from Ryan letting her know that they had contacted Joselyn Camden and she wouldn't be able to come in until the morning. Kate locked her phone and placed it back in her pocket.
"We'll see you in a few hours, Lanie." Kate said as she signaled to Castle that it was time to leave. He nodded and followed her out of the autopsy bay, into the hallway, and onto the waiting elevator. They stepped out of the elevator, Kate first, and walked through the lobby and out into the waning sunlight. They were nearly to the car when Castle spoke:
"Would you mind just dropping me at the station at 14th? I'll hop the L train."
"You're not coming back to the 12th?"
"No…I have some stuff I have to finish before the launch tonight."
"Stuff?" she questioned. He took in a deep breath and considered her for a moment. "Castle?"
"That was Gina on the phone. They want me to do this interview with a reporter from the Post before the launch…"
"You sound so enthusiastic."
"Oh, I just can't wait," he said sarcastically.
"I can drive you to the loft…"
"It's out of your way."
"I don't mind." Kate said. Once again they had moved closer to one another. She tried to tell herself it was from the chill in the air breezing around them but she knew it wasn't. They wanted to be close to each other, or at least she wanted to be close to him, and she prayed to God he felt the same way.
"I know…but I could actually use the subway ride right now…calm me down a bit, clear my head." She nodded. He turned to move toward the car again, but stopped when he felt her hand in his. She turned him around to face her.
"We will figure this out, Castle. I'm not giving up that easily."
"Me neither."
He stood in front of the full-length mirror in his bedroom. He was holding up two freshly starched shirts: one dark blue and the other royal purple. He wasn't concentrating on what he was going to wear to the launch; all he could think about was the fact that tonight would be the last time he would see a new chapter of Nikki Heat, the fictional version and the real one. It could very well be one of the last nights he ever spent with Kate Beckett and at that thought his arms fell to his sides. Closing his eyes he inhaled deeply. He held the breath for a moment, releasing it when he heard the soft voice behind him.
"Go with the blue, it brings out your eyes."
He looked up and locked eyes in the mirror with his daughter's reflection. Alexis was smiling at him and he couldn't help but smile while taking in her soft porcelain features and marveling at the grace of the young woman before him. His gaze moved from her to himself in the mirror.
"You decide to get ready here instead of the dorms?"
"Yeah, Grams and I decided we should go together and it's easier to leave from here."
"You really think the blue?"
"Definitely," Alexis said, "Plus it will look great against the cover art." They both laughed as she came up on his left side and placed her head on his shoulder. He set his head on top of hers and sighed. "Dad, what's going on? It's like you're somewhere else?"
"It's just work stuff…"
"Nikki Heat work or Detective Beckett work?"
"A bit of both actually…" Alexis' reflection raised its eyebrows at him not buying his deflection. He would have to give more details. "Captain Gates has decided that since this is the last Nikki Heat novel there is no reason for me to be at the precinct anymore. This case will be my last."
"She isn't completely wrong though…" Alexis said. "There really isn't any reason besides your research for you to be at the precinct day in and day out…" she finished letting the words hang in the air and a small smile play on the edges of her lips.
"I know she's right, but that doesn't change…" he said, his voice falling off.
"Dad, spit it out!" Alexis said as she stepped back from the mirror forcing him to look at her and not her reflection in the glass. She took the shirts from his hands and placed them on a chair just behind her to the left. He looked at his daughter and smiled. She really was too smart for her own good. "It doesn't change the fact that you love her." Alexis continued, "And the fact that she likely has no idea…and even if she does, maybe she doesn't feel the same way…" she finished.
"Have you been reading my diary when I'm not around?" he joked.
"You're an open book, dad. It's not that hard to figure out what you're thinking when it comes to Kate Beckett…and if you really kept a diary I would shoot you where you stand." They both laughed then as he reached out to take her in his arms and give her a quick hug. They stepped back and he obliged her:
"I like being there…seeing her everyday…but it's not even just her…honestly" he said to Alexis' look of disbelief. "It's helping out with the cases, hanging out with Ryan and Esposito…"
"Dad, they'll still be your friends whether or not you're at the precinct every day. Friendship isn't dictated by proximity."
"You need to get out of those honors classes…Columbia is just making you stupid," he teased. She smiled at him, letting the action light up her face.
"Dad," she prodded, making him look at her straight. "Do you remember last year when I asked you if she made you happy?"
"Yes…"
"And you said she did. And then I asked you if it was enough and you said it was 'for now'."
"You are correct…"
"Well…is it still enough?" They locked eyes. Hers was imploring him to look deep, to honestly ask himself what he was thinking and what he wanted. His were begging her to not make him say it out loud. Saying it would put it out in the universe, and he wasn't certain if he was ready for it. "Dad, you have to decide. If this is the last case and you don't have any idea where you stand with the woman you are completely in love with…" she took a breath, "Dad," she reached over and took both of his hands in hers. "If you don't take a chance, you'll regret it." She squeezed his hands and reached up to place a light kiss on his right cheek. She dropped his hands and turned to leave the room. She stopped when she heard his voice in the stillness:
"Alexis," she turned toward him, "no matter what happens…you'll always be my best girl."
"And you'll always be my best guy." She smiled and turned, walking out of his room and closing the door lightly behind her. He reached over to the chair and plucked up the dark blue shirt. He turned back to his reflection in the mirror and held the shirt up to his body, appraising his appearance. He nodded his head in approval and moved to change his clothes.
He walked out of the bedroom minutes later to see Alexis sitting at the bar chatting with her grandmother. They both turned when they heard the door open and sat straight up in their seats when they saw him.
"Kiddo, looking very dapper this evening…" Martha said.
"Thank you, Mother. You as well…" he countered, sarcastically, taking in the bathrobe she wore and the towel wrapped around her head.
"Well, I figured I would put my best foot forward…" she teased, placing her right hand on the towel on her head and letting her head tilt back slightly in her best 'diva' pose.
"I'm going to take a shower," Alexis announced, "Dad, I'll see you in a few…" she turned and disappeared up the stairs to her room. Martha looked toward her son across the counter. He was standing at the sink, glass of water in his hand, but he wasn't drinking it. He was just staring at it; lost in his thoughts.
"Richard…you feeling ok?" Martha asked.
"Huh? Why?"
"Because you've been staring at that glass since you poured it. You still reeling from the Captain's decision?"
"Alexis told you?"
"Yes."
"Just trying to figure out what to do."
"You work the case and prove to that woman that you bring something that is desperately needed to that team, so that she will find it completely impossible to send you packing."
"Ah, mother, why didn't I think of that?"
"Kill the sarcasm."
"Sorry…I just don't think that's going to work with Gates. She's completely immovable…once she makes up her mind it doesn't change."
"Make her change it."
"Not as easy as it sounds."
"Richard, listen to me," Martha began, placing both her hands on his left hand, which was resting on the counter in front of him. The glass of water was placed forgotten on the counter near to the sink. "I've told you this before and you obviously refuse to listen to my advice, so let me reiterate," she made certain she had his full attention before she continued, "Don't waste another moment. You never know how much time you have and if you don't take a chance, especially now, you will only wonder 'what if' for the rest of your life. There's no time like the present, kiddo." She finished. She stood and moved toward the staircase following Alexis' lead and disappeared upstairs to her bedroom leaving her son with his thoughts.
The atmosphere in the ballroom was jovial. He walked the red carpet quickly, smiling pleasantly and allowing photos to be taken of him with Alexis on his right arm and Martha on his left, each holding onto his hand. Once inside they both gave him a quick hug and moved to mingle with the other people standing around holding drinks and talking animatedly. In the center of the room was a large table with layer upon layer of his latest, and last, Nikki Heat novel: In The Heat of The Night. He tried but could not completely suppress the jolt of misery that crept into his stomach at seeing the book sitting there in front of him. Exclamations from the entrance into the ballroom pulled him from his thoughts as he turned toward the noise. His heart skipped a beat and his breath caught in his throat the instant he saw her.
Kate Beckett entered the ballroom with an embarrassed smile on her face, which widened and became more genuine when she noticed Lanie, Esposito, Ryan and Jenny approaching her. To him she was always beautiful, but there were moments like tonight that she was - for a lack of a better term – drop dead gorgeous. He took in the way the light purple and gold fabric of her dress clung to the subtle curves of her body - just tight enough to entice; but loose enough to leave oh so much to his imagination - and the way she seemed to float even in those ridiculously high heels she wore. Something in the way she carried herself and the way she moved so effortlessly made him stare and not even care if someone noticed. She could feel his eyes on her, and she looked up from the conversation she was having with Lanie and Jenny to meet his gaze. She smiled and excused herself from the group to move toward him.
"You know…you clean up pretty well, Castle." She said once she was standing in front of him.
"Right back at you, Detective." She could tell he was forcing some form of formality into his voice and cocked her head to the right as she stepped slightly closer to him.
"Kate!" a voice called from Beckett's left as she and Castle both registered the movement of the redheaded tornado heading for them. When Alexis reached them she threw her arms around Kate and they both smiled brightly.
"I'm so glad you're here…."
"Me too…" Kate responded, "What's up?"
"OK so I finally decided what I'm doing about my language requirement…"
"And….?" Kate asked expectantly. She knew Castle was only half aware of what they were talking about, but he settled for following their conversation with his head – back and forth, back and forth - from one woman to the other.
"Next term I start Russian 101!" Alexis said.
"Fantatíčeskij!" Kate exclaimed. She noted the double take from Castle as his wide eyes took her in.
"You speak Russian?" He exclaimed loudly, "How did I not know this?"
"Ah, Castle," Kate said, "I've got to keep you guessing." She registered the bewildered look in his eyes and quickly winked at him then turned back to Alexis.
"So you'd be ok with tutoring?"
"Of course I will. Oh Alexis, you're going to love it…it really is a fascinating language."
"Well I figured I've already tackled French and Latin and they were going to allow me to test out of the language requirement but I figured, what the hell, might as well go for broke and add in a Slavic language with all the romantic ones! Oh…there's something else…" she stopped and looked to her left where Castle was standing. "Dad, do you mind if I steal her away for a second?"
"No, go ahead…"
"Thanks!" Alexis said as she took hold of Kate's arm and they walked away. Castle watched them walk away and began to laugh.
"What's so funny?" he heard behind him and suddenly all the joy her felt was sucked out of him. He turned and was met with the ice-cold stare of his publisher and ex-wife, Gina Cowell. At her right was his book agent, Paula.
"Gina, Paula to what do I owe this pleasure." He said, trying and failing to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.
"Richard, thank you so much for being so forth coming at the interview with the Post as I asked…oh wait…" Gina said. The irritation was evident in her voice and it made him chuckle a bit.
"Well you know that I just love making sure the press is fully aware of my entire life…" he countered. Sarcasm was his best defense against her…that and distance, which is what he really wanted right now, but knowing the later was not likely at this moment he opted for sarcasm - and lots of it. "Look Gina if you really wanted someone to perform for the nice reporter and read from a script then you should have just done the interview yourself." He offered.
"Funny. Well at least this will likely be the last Nikki Heat-related interview you'll do…" she said off-handedly. To him, it felt like a swift kick to the groin.
Paula noticed the sudden shift in his expression and posture. "Rick, you ok?"
"Yeah, Paula I'm fine…" he said, trying desperately to not let on to these two everything that had conspired at the 12th in the past eleven hours. Thankfully, their attention was pulled elsewhere as Alexis and Kate returned to where the trio was standing.
"Gina…Paula…always nice to see you." Alexis said, forcing happiness into her voice while directing an eye roll at Kate, which made the later woman suppress a laugh.
"You as well, Alexis…" Gina said a smile forced onto her face and into her voice. She then turned her attention to Kate. "I'm sorry, we haven't met., I'm Gina Cowell of Black Pawn Publishing." She extended her hand to Kate who took it lightly.
"Actually we've met…it was a couple years ago at the 12th…" Gina regarded the woman with a mixture of what Kate could only deem contempt and surprise. "Detective Kate Beckett,, NYPD." The moment she said her name she felt Gina's hand fall from hers, seeing the light bulb ignite in Gina's memory and her mind suddenly make the connection.
"Right, Nikki Heat…" she said lamely as her eyes looked Kate Beckett up and down, sizing her up. Kate could barely suppress the smile playing on her lips at the change in Gina's posture. Gina was nervous, and it couldn't have made Kate any happier to see the other woman begin to squirm.
"Well, I guess I better get back to the crowd." Gina said dismissing herself.
"Rick, I was hoping to chat with you for a second." Paula ventured, turning toward Alexis and Kate making certain it was all right to steal her client away. Alexis and Kate both nodded and watched as Paula grabbed Castle by the arm and walked him to a sparsely populated corner of the room.
"By the way," Alexis leaned in to Beckett's ear, "have you read the dedication?"
"No…why?"
"You should…" Alexis said and then turned and walked away leaving Kate to turn slowly toward the table at the center of the room. She walked to the table and took a copy of the tome in her right hand. The cover was glossy, graced by the ever-present naked silhouette of Nikki Heat surrounded by hues of black, blue and purple hovering over the New York City skyline. She opened the cover to the dedication page and read:
To Nikki Heat,
Though mere words could never fully express everything you are to me.
He was standing next to her before she finished the sentence. She closed the book and took a breath, then turned to her left and met his eyes.
"Hi…" she said breathlessly.
"Hi," he said, his eyes flicked down to the book in her hand as she placed it back in its spot on the table.
"The dedication…" she began not really knowing where the thought was taking her.
"I meant it…and not just for the Nikki Heat on the page." His voice was soft but deep, imploring her to understand the meaning of his words, and the fact that they were meant only for her. They stood, their eyes not moving from one another, getting lost in the moment and happy to let the entire world move around them. They only wanted to remain in this place.
"OK, what in the world is Iron Gates doing here?" she heard Ryan exclaim from her right as he, Jenny, Esposito and Lanie approached. They all turned to the entrance just in time to see Captain Victoria Gates enter the ballroom wearing a deep red, tasteful, cocktail dress and adorning the arm of a tall, dark and gorgeous man with a smile that lit up the room the moment they entered.
"Cause I invited her." Castle said eliciting shocked, and even slightly horrified, looks from the three women and two men next to him.
"Why would you invite her?" Lanie asked him.
"A little goodwill…plus there's no reason for her to not like me anymore considering she's getting what she wants right? Me out of her precinct…" he finished quickly as they noticed the couple walking towards them. "Captain, I'm glad you were able to come," Castle said as they approached. "Hi, I'm Richard Castle…" he extended his hand to her companion.
"Dr. Jonah Gates. It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Castle. I've heard a lot about you, all of you actually, from Victoria." He said, taking Castle's hand and shaking it.
"Jonah," Victoria Gates said as she motioned around the circle introducing each of the people around her one-by-one: "This is Dr. Lanie Parish, the county's Chief Medical Examiner; Detective Javier Esposito, Detective and Mrs. Kevin and Jennifer Ryan and…Detective Kate Beckett." They each uttered their hellos as she moved around the group. "This is my husband, Jonah." Beckett was astounded. She didn't think she had ever seen Gates smile so genuinely and seem so relaxed. Not to mention, she never could have imagined this man as Iron Gates' husband.
"So, Dr. Gates," Lanie said finally breaking the silence of the group, "Are you an M.D.?"
"PhD…I teach Astronomy at Columbia."
"Really…my daughter just started her freshman year at Columbia." Castle stated.
"How's she liking it so far?"
"She seems to be enjoying the atmosphere, the classes. She's mentioned how much she loves the campus and her professors. How long have you been at the University?"
"I've been teaching there for fifteen years now. Our son, Ethan, is actually attending this fall, starting graduate work in contemporary American fiction."
"Contemporary American Fiction…is he a TA for a Dr. Waller?" None of them had even noticed Alexis turn up at Castle's side.
"Captain Gates, I'm sure you remember my daughter, Alexis. Honey this is the Captain's husband, Dr. Jonah Gates, he teaches Astronomy at Columbia." Castle said as Alexis extended her hand toward Victoria Gates and then Jonah Gates.
"It's nice to see you again Captain and it's a pleasure to meet you Dr. Gates."
"Nice to see you again as well, Alexis." Victoria Gates responded to the smile on the young girls' face.
"And yes, Ethan is TA-ing for Alyson Waller. How did you know that?" Jonah asked.
"I'm taking her class this semester. I never would have thought the TA was your son." Alexis took in the group around her and continue, "How about I show everyone to the bar?" Alexis offered noting the look on her father and Kate's faces and recognizing the need for some space - taking pity on them and their situation – and deciding it was a good time to deflect some of the company. She began walking, making certain the others were following her before turning back and catching her father mouth 'thank you' in her direction. She responded with a mouthed 'you're welcome' and walked away.
"Alone again…" Castle said rocking backward lightly on his heels. Kate smiled and let her eyes meet his once again. He heard the shift in the music playing through the speakers and decided to finally take his mother's and daughter's advice. No time like the present, he told himself, as he extended his left hand to her.
"May I have this dance?"
She didn't say a word. She didn't need to. The only response he needed was the one she gave: the feeling of her warm, delicate hand in his and the look in her eyes. He walked backwards leading her without a sound onto the dance floor. He placed his right hand discretely on her upper back and felt the heavenly pressure of her left hand on his shoulder. They began to sway as the music played:
You're in my arms and all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together and when I'm with you
So close to feeling alive
Their eyes held steady, never leaving the other's gaze. She could feel the pressure of his hand move to the small of her back. She let her hand glide over to rest on the nape of his neck and languished in the feeling of the soft texture of his hair on her fingertips.
He was astounded when she didn't make a move to put more distance between them, or try to place his hand at a more polite spot on her person. His breath caught in his throat as he felt the coolness of her touch on the exposed skin of his neck.
A life goes by romantic dreams must die
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I want is to hold you so close
Somehow they were dancing cheek to cheek. As had happened so often over the past few hours, she wasn't even sure when they had moved so close to one another, but they had. They were close enough she could feel him breathing, the steady rise and fall of his chest was intoxicating in such close proximity. She swore she could even hear his heartbeat pounding in rhythm with hers and she let her eyes close as she tried to memorize every movement they made together.
He noted that their feet were barely even moving. They were basically swaying on the spot. Their clasped hands – his left, her right – were nearly resting on his chest. He let his eyes drift closed and breathed in the scent of her – a light mixture of, he believed, jasmine with a mild hint of cherries - making his head spin.
So close to reaching that famous happy ending
Almost believing this one's not pretend
And now you're beside me and look how far we've come
So far, we are, so close
A tingle ran the length of her spine and spread through her body when she felt the warmth of his breath on the side of her face. She could just barely hear his voice as he began to sing lightly in her ear:
How could I face the faceless days if I should lose you now?
We're so close to reaching that famous happy ending
Almost believing this one's not pretend
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are
So close, so close
And still so far
She pulled back from him just enough to be able to meet his eyes. She watched the edges of his lips curl upward, the smile taking over his features and making his eyes shine. She couldn't believe the feeling of being in his arms…
The sound of the crowd of people clapping broke them out of their trance and they turned in time to see Gina step up to a podium and begin to speak into the microphone at the center. Kate Beckett didn't hear a word the woman said. The only thing in her thoughts was the realization that Castle was still holding her right hand loosely in his left. She looked to him and felt him squeeze her hand gently then release it as he walked to the podium.
It was near midnight when Castle, Beckett, Ryan, Esposito, Lanie, Jenny, Alexis and Martha walked from the ballroom and out into the cool September night. Beckett took a deep breath taking in the scent of the fall air around her.
"Ok I think it's time to head home," Ryan said to the group, looking to his wife holding onto his left arm.
"I completely agree. I'm wiped!" Jenny said, "Rick, thank you so much for such an amazing evening." She hugged Castle then Beckett, Martha and Alexis.
"Lanie, Javi you guys want to share a cab?" Ryan asked.
"Yeah, that sounds great." Lanie said. She moved to hug Kate. "I'll talk to you later," she whispered in her friend's ear.
"Oh yes you will," Kate whispered back. She raised her eyebrows toward Javier after they parted and then smiled when Lanie slapped her lightly on the arm. A yellow cab sat waiting at the curb and in an instant only Alexis, Martha, Castle and Beckett remained standing on the sidewalk.
"Well I'm heading back to the loft for the night…love you, dad." Alexis said, wrapping her arms around her father's neck and placing a kiss on his cheek. She then moved to Beckett, standing at his right side, and put her arms around the woman's neck, "Night, Kate."
"Night, Alexis." Kate responded.
"Grams, you coming?"
"Yes, dear," Martha responded. "Kate, darling, a pleasure as always."
"For me as well, Martha" Kate said as she hugged the older woman and smiled to Alexis.
"Richard, don't be too much of a gentleman," she whispered in his ear, causing him to glare at her as they pulled apart.
"Thank you, Mother, for that sage advice." Castle said as Martha linked arms with Alexis and climbed into the limo waiting at the curb.
"You want a ride back to your place?" Castle asked Beckett.
"Actually, I think I'm gonna walk…it's a perfect night." She said looking up to the clear sky hanging about them. He looked up to the sky as well and then back to the limo. He walked to the open door and leaned inside. He straightened and stepped back from the curb, closing the door to the limo. He turned to Kate as the limo drove away and registered the question in her face.
"Not that I think you need a bodyguard…"
"Cause you would be SO helpful in that regard." She joked.
"I just agree that it's the perfect night for a walk." He moved to her side and motioned for her to lead the way. She turned and began to walk, him keeping pace at her left side.
"I never got a chance to thank you…" He said after a beat.
"For what?"
"For watching out for Alexis while I was gone."
"You have thanked me…many times in numerous phone conversations."
"In person, I meant, in person," Castle said.
"Well, it was nothing, honestly," Kate said, "She's pretty impressive that daughter of yours."
"I know it…what did you two do? She seems to have really taken to you…"
"We had coffees, lunches, a couple movies…a concert in the Park…it was nothing we just hung out., talked. It was great."
"Well I'm glad she has someone like you to look up to…and confide in."
"She never really connected with Gina, did she?"
"Well most of that was my fault, truth be told. I kept a wall between them…"
"Why? She was your wife, Alexis is your daughter, and you didn't want them to bond?" Kate asked him, looking to her left to gauge the reaction on his face. He looked at her and took a deep breath, mulling over his response:
"I think there was a part of me that knew it wouldn't work out. And I told myself I was just trying to keep Alexis safe."
"Makes sense, I guess," Kate said. "There is something I do have to ask you about…"
"What?" he asked, a sense of dread coming over him.
"The acknowledgement section of the book…" she began.
"What about it?"
"''Captain Permafrost'?" Kate looked at him with a bemused expression on her face. Castle stopped and began laughing at the sound of her saying the moniker he had applied to Captain Gates. "You actually put that in print?"
"Well, once again, not like she can do anything to me anymore!"
"'To Captain Permafrost'," Kate continued, "''Whom I hope to melt by the end of this book'. If she actually reads that, she'll bust me in the hope that it reverberates back to you!"
They arrived in front of her apartment 20 minutes later, laughing. She quieted him as they made their way down the hallway to her apartment, noting the time of morning and he placed his hand over his mouth the try and keep himself from laughing harder. She could barely remember laughing and smiling, enjoying life in general, before she had met Richard Castle, but she could pinpoint so many times since he came into her life.
"Here we are," he said as they reached her door.
She didn't move to open the door. He was standing in front of her and for the second time that night she was taken back by the look in his eyes. Before tonight the only time she had ever seen so much in his eyes was the day she lay on the ground bleeding from a gunshot wound to the chest. In that moment he had pleaded with her to stay with him, to just hold on. In that moment, he confessed that he loved her. In this moment she wondered if he might make a similar declaration, and she surprised herself when she realized she wanted him to.
She wanted to feel him closer and found herself moving into him, closing the distance between them. She felt the heat of his hands on her upper arms then the tingle they left on her skin as he moved his hands lightly, slowly down her arms. He stopped when he reached her hands letting his left hand fall to his side but holding her left hand in his right. She stifled a scream when she felt him take a step back. She watched him lower his head, raise her hand to his lips and place a light kiss on her hand. Her skin radiated from the point his lips touched and sent her reeling. He met her eyes again and spoke so softly she might not have heard him if not for the stillness of the midnight around them:
"Goodnight, Kate." She blinked back her surprise, trying desperately to not let the disappointment show in her face.
"Goodnight, Castle." She responded weakly, amazed she was even able to utter the words through her shock. He let go of her hand and turned walking down the hallway and out of her sight. She closed her eyes and let her entire body fall back heavily onto her door. She forced herself to inhale a deep breath and then exhale, all while trying to stop the tears that were forming from falling from her eyes.
So I hope that I did not cause anyone to harm their computers in any way (as I apparently did to my poor betas!)...I promise Castle's mind set will be explained right away in Chapter 4 :)
Thanks as always for reading...be sure to review!
Amy