Chapter Three: Admitting the Heart
A week had passed before Belle saw Steve or Bucky again. The nightmares had been very consistent, plaguing her dreams every night. She was suffering because of it. Anyone could tell she'd barely slept once they'd looked at her; her face looked almost gaunt with exhaustion and her eyes lacked any kind of energy. Her lips always formed a straight line and her pale skin had become almost grey. She'd been spending most of her time at the bar where she had first met Bucky, drinking and thinking the hours away. She'd given up on actually seeing them again, that was until she tried to leave and had crashed straight into someone on her way out. She stumbled back and blinked up at the person she'd walked into.
"Belle!" Bucky was grinning brightly and even his eyes shone with happiness.
"B-Bucky?" She tripped over her words, her voice hoarse and she stared at him in shock. He hadn't changed, he was still handsome and rugged in his looks.
"I've been looking for you!" He exclaimed, surprising her when he wrapped his arms around her tightly, "What happened to you?"
"I-I've been here." She said as he pulled away, "I didn't think I'd see you again."
"You thought we'd left you?" He asked in bewilderment, "Oh Belle….I'm sorry, I really am."
"I-It's okay." She muttered and smiled sadly. Bucky looked at her in silence, taking in how much she'd changed in the short space of a week.
"You haven't slept." He stated, crossing his arms. She sighed and waved her hand in dismissal.
"I'm fine. Just a few nightmares." She smiled and he seemed to stand to attention, his back straightening and his eyebrows drawing together, causing his eyes to narrow slightly.
"Belle, you look like you haven't slept a wink in days!" His voice raised and she bit her lip, looking for a way off the subject. Her eyes quickly gave him the once over and she frowned. He was wearing a Sergeants uniform. She had to admit, he looked incredibly handsome wearing it but it still both confused and scared her.
"You…. You enlisted?" She asked quietly and his stern expression lifted into another trademark smile. He unfolded his arms and pulled the hem of his jacket, straightening his uniform.
"Sergeant James Barnes." The pride was evident in his voice, "107th Infantry."
"Oh..." She licked her dry lips, "When are you shipping out?" His face suddenly turned grave, although he kept his lips turned up into a smile.
"Tomorrow." He said softly and she held back tears, trying to force them down. He saw the conflict in her eyes and sighed, embracing her gently.
"I know. I promised I wouldn't leave you, but know I'm going to promise to come back to you. You'll be the first face I see." He mumbled sincerely and she enjoyed the warmth of his embrace while she still could.
"I don't want to be alone…" She whispered into his chest, her voice cracking. He pulled away and frowned as he looked into her tired mismatched eyes. He loved her eyes. He loved them even more when they weren't full of sadness.
"I know you don't." He forced a smile for her, "Seeing as though this is my last night here, would you like to accompany Steve and I to a special night out?" She couldn't help but smile.
"Where to?" She asked feebly and he pulled out a folded newspaper from his back pocket. She took it and looked at the main article. She grinned upon reading the large letters that said World Exposition of Tomorrow' accompanied by an exciting and intriguing picture. The loneliness was replaced by this new excitement.
"I'd be happy to come with you." Bucky grinned toothily in relief, "Where is Steve by the way?"
"He left to go watch something at the cinema." He answered, "If we hurry we can slip in before the movie starts." She took his hand.
"Let's get going then." She said and the pair walked contently next to each other, still holding each others hands, seemingly happy just being in each others company. But sadness still gripped them both. After tonight they wouldn't be seeing each other for a very long time. They both knew it. Belle felt her blood run cold and her heart ache as she thought about how ling she would have to be alone again for. How many sleepless nights she would have to suffer through alone.
She tried to distract herself. She looked at the tall, tightly packed, three story buildings and the people that walked the busy streets in their expensive clothes; knowing that the dresses the women wore were worth more than she was. She sighed and glanced down into an alley for a fleeting moment as they walked past it, but she stopped when the figures of two people stood right at the end. Bucky looked at her with one eyebrow raised and she pulled him to the mouth of the alley, pointing a delicate finger to where the two men were. Bucky frowned and squinted at them. The realisation hit him and his face lost all emotion before he briskly walked into the alley. Belle trotted behind, her face contorted in concern as she watched.
One of the men was beating up another, scrawnier man who Belle recognised immediately as Steve. She felt rather useless as she could only stand back and let Bucky sort him out. Bucky grabbed the mans shoulder just as he was about to swing a punch, roughly pulling him away from the battered friend of theirs.
"Pick on someone your own size!" Bucky said strongly, and the other man tried to punch him in return. Bucky ducked to the side and lurched forward in one smooth movement until his fist connected with the other mans face. The man spun around unceremoniously and tripped over his own to feet, leaving Belle to dodge him as Bucky kicked his backside sharply and sending him running out of the alley in fear and embarrassment. Belle let herself breathe at that moment when Bucky turned around and she walked towards Steve, who looked like he was having trouble catching his breath and standing upright. She frowned, touching his shoulder gingerly.
"I thought you promised you wouldn't get into another fight?" She asked half feeling genuinely hurt, while the other half was only joking. He looked up at her and grinned.
"Belle!" He exclaimed and straightened himself up in an attempt to look like he wasn't hurt, "This is honestly the first time I've gotten into a fight since we met, I swear." He chuckled and she smiled. Of course she couldn't stay mad at him for long.
"It wasn't much of a fight," Bucky said with a smile, "I just sometimes think you like getting punched."
"Hey, I had him on the ropes." Steve defended meekly, wiping the blood from his mouth and Bucky bent down to pick up the light brown slip of paper on the ground and opening it up.
"You're from Paramus now?" He asked jokingly, handing the paper to Belle. She stared down at the paper with a frown. It was a certificate of acceptance… Only problem was he had been deemed not acceptable for active military service. Once again a familiar sadness scratched at her heart. Steve was going to leave her as well? Bucky continued, looking down at Steve with slight disappointment on his face, "You know it's illegal to lie on an enlistment form. And seriously, Jersey?" Steve gave him the once over and frowned, the same expression as Belle wore.
"You got your orders?" He asked. Belle's jaw tightened and she handed the slip back to Steve, who took it without looking as his eyes were on Bucky.
"The 107th." Bucky leaned up on his toes for a second, a faint smile on his face, "Sergeant James Barnes, shipping out for England first thing tomorrow."
"I should be going…" Steve muttered. Bucky looked at him critically before grinning and slapping his shoulder, giving the smaller man a quick side hug as he grabbed Belle's hand.
"Come on, man!" Bucky chuckled, "My last night, and we got to get you cleaned up." The three of them walked together out of the alley and although Belle was silent, they still felt like a hole had been filled where before it was empty.
"Why?" Steve asked with interest, "Where are we going?" Bucky merely handed him the newspaper without looking and gave a curt answer.
"The future."
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Later on, after they had managed to clean Steve and Belle surprised them both by finding what she thought was the perfect shirt, tie and blazer for the Expedition. She herself had gotten dressed into a simple yet beautiful red dress that hugged all her curves but didn't expose anything. It stopped just above her knees and covered her shoulders, but it still pushed her breasts up a little more and made her look bustier than she had originally intended. Not that Bucky minded. She finished the dress with little black pumps and a short black jacket with long sleeves and buttoned up just below her bust.
Once there she could only marvel at the beauty of the place at night. The fireworks caught her attention every few minutes, the bright colours dancing across the sky followed by the scanning spotlights and flags that billowed in the wind. The buildings looked like they belonged in the future and the huge metal globe that was the centrepiece of the entire place was unreal, as if it didn't really belong to this world. She wanted to stop and stare at everything, but Bucky kept her moving with his hand gripping hers tightly like he was afraid he'd lose her in the busy crowds.
"I don't see what the problem is." Bucky said to Steve, they were walking away from the globe, "You're about to be the last eligible man in New York. You know there's three and a half million women here."
"I'd honestly settle for just one." Steve retorted, making Bucky smile.
"Good thing I took care of that for you then." Bucky lifted his free arm and waved at a pretty blond girl, who smiled brightly and trotted over in her red heels.
"What did you tell her about me?" Steve asked in an almost frantic tone as she came closer.
"Only the good stuff." Bucky smirked and Belle slapped his arm lightly.
"Which there is a lot of!" She said and looked at Steve reassuringly, "Just be yourself and you'll do fine. I'm sure she'll like you."
"Thanks Belle, but…" She shushed him quickly.
"No buts! She's coming over here!" She exclaimed and greeted the blond with a somewhat fake smile.
"My name's Barbara. Barbara Stacy." The girl said to Belle and they hugged briefly. Steve looked like he was about to faint and when Barbara looked at him and Bucky she looked like she was on the same boat as him.
"I-I'm Steve Rogers." He stuttered and her red lips curled into a shy smile.
"Nice to meet you." She said quietly and the two stared at each other awkwardly for a bit before Bucky cut in to diffuse the tension.
"Should we have a look around? I hear Howard Stark himself is going to be hear." Belle smiles and takes Barbara's hand.
"Come on, let's find out where he is!" Bucky and Steve watched as Belle dragged the blond towards a relatively large crowd of people.
"I think she just stole your date Steve." Bucky laughed and Steve sighed.
"Let's just follow them." He said and Bucky shook his head.
"Loosen up a bit man." He smiled and started to walk ahead with Steve following silently behind him.
"So, what do you think of Steve?" Belle asked light-heartedly as the two girls wandered aimlessly through he crowd.
"He's cute." Barbara admitted with a blush, "But not what I thought he'd be like."
"What did Bucky tell you about him?" Belle looked at her from the corner of her eye and the blond shrugged.
"He told me that Steve was a very brave, pure man than was ready for anything and very loyal." It was almost like she was reciting from a book, or reading lines from a script and Belle frowned lightly.
"He's all of those things. He's brave about anything until it comes to women." She chuckled, "I know he doesn't look like it, but he's more of a man than most."
"I'll take your word for it." Barbara stopped and leaned back against some railings around an exhibition, "But I want to know about you and Bucky. I saw the way he looked at you."
"What do you mean?" Belle's cheeks flushed pink and started to play with her hair.
"You didn't notice?" Barbara raised an eyebrow, "He really likes you."
"We barely know each other." Belle stated and the blond shrugged indifferently.
"He still likes you. I can tell. I can also tell that you like him back." She smirked, a playful glint in her eyes.
"He's my friend." Belle was mostly just trying to convince herself of the fact she didn't have a crush on Bucky, but the more the thought about it the more the idea didn't seem as impossible.
"So? Come on, you look at him the way he looks at you. You must feel something, right?" Belle thought carefully. Yeah, she enjoyed his company and she couldn't help but admit that she did feel the butterflies in her stomach whenever he smiled at her, and that she loved the way his hand felt holding hers but… Oh dear.
"I… Maybe I do have a crush on him." She eventually said, "But I don't think he likes me the same way." Barbara sighed dramatically. Belle cocked her head to the side like a confused puppy, so Barbara gave up for the time being.
"Think what you will." She looked over Belle's shoulder and grinned, "They're coming over to us now." Belle spun around and sure enough the two men were striding towards them. She looked at Bucky's face as he looked at hers and blushed when she saw the soft, loving expression on his face. Did he really like her that way?
"Hello girls." He grinned childishly, taking Belle's hand in his own and causing her blush to deepen, "I do believe the show is about to start."
"Welcome! To the Modern Marvels Pavilion and the World of Tomorrow!"
"It's starting!" Belle chirped excitedly and Bucky laughed as she pulled him to the front of the stage, practically running to get the best place to see.
"Ladies and Gentlemen!" A womans voice rang loud above the clapping, "Mr Howard Stark!"
Belle watched in avid curiosity as she looked at the shining, brilliant red car behind the dressed up dancers that gestured towards the handsome dark haired man that bounded up onto the stage. Bucky stood slightly behind her, one of his hands around her waist. Belle's eyes widened as Mr Stark kissed one of the brunette dancers and Bucky couldn't help but smile at her innocence.
"Ladies and Gentlemen," Mr Stark repeated, the dancers now strutting around the car, "What if I told you that in a few short years, your automobile won't even have to touch the ground at all?" Belle looked up at Bucky in wonder for a second before focusing back on the car and Mr Stark. The dancers pulled the wheels off the car.
"With Stark Gravitic Reversion Technology, you'll be able to do just that!" Belle started to grin in anticipation and Bucky tightened the grip he had around her waist, loving the enthusiasm he saw on her face. It made her seem alive. The deadness of her eyes was gone and her face seemed less gaunt then it had been that morning. He looked away from her to see Mr Stark turning a few knobs and pulling a small lever.
The car started to whir loudly and much to Belle's excitement the car began to hover off the ground. Her mouth opened as she watched the metal engine like objects where the wheels should be turn onto their sides, the inside of the car starting to glow orange.
"Holy cow." Bucky said in awe, making Belle giggle quietly.
Suddenly, sparks flew and Belle gasped loudly as the car fell back onto the ground with a clutter. She jumped and stumbled backwards into Bucky's chest. He caught her and she thanked him with a small voice, her cheeks now crimson. He chuckled lightly.
"I did say a few years didn't I?" Mr Stark said and many people clapped and laughed with him. Bucky turned around, expecting to find Steve standing there.
"Hey, Steve, what do you say we treat these girls…" He trailed off and his hands dropped to his sides in defeat. Belle and Barbara shared a worried look, "Belle, you stay here with Barbara while I go find Steve." She nodded but tensed up when he unexpectedly swooped down and planted a firm kiss on her cheek, "I promise we'll go dancing later." And then he was gone. She stared after him with flushed cheeks and a wistful smile.
"Told you." Barbara was grinning like she'd just pulled a prank on someone, "He likes you!"
"Oh be quiet." Belle joked, sending a weak glare towards the blond; who merely snorted a laugh out.
"You've snagged a man in a uniform, Belle, be proud." Barbara says, pulling her coat tighter around her body.
"He's being shipped out to England tomorrow." Belle said sadly, glancing the the direction he left to find Steve, "I won't see him for a while."
"All the more reason to have some fun while he's here." She smiled sadly, an honest smile that said she understood.
"I wish women were allowed to enlist," Belle muttered out of the blue and Barbara looked at her with sharp interest, but not the bad kind, "Then I'd go with him. I'd show everyone that women aren't weak, and I'd be with him in the process."
"I like the way you think Belle." The blond said sincerely, "But it's not that easy. Men don't take kindly to women showing them up, believe me I've asked many people from many places and they don't let women enlist."
"I know." Belle sighed, "It was only a thought. Anyway, I think we should go find Steve and Bucky now…" Barbara didn't press on and let the dark haired woman lead the way as they slipped through the streams of people until they spotted Bucky walking towards them.
"Hey, Bucky!" Belle called and he smiled.
"There you are!" He exclaimed, "I'm sorry Barbara, Steve left early. He… He wasn't feeling very well." Both women caught him out on his lie but all they did was share a knowing look.
"It's fine. I was thinking about heading home anyway." The blond smiled and gave Belle one last hug, whispering into her ear, "Don't waste this dance he's promised. Savour it."
"I will." Belle whispered back and as Barbara walked away, she called over her shoulder.
"We should meet up again someday!"
"I hope we will." Belle answered. Bucky watched the exchange curiously. Belle looked at him and smiled.
"So about that dance?" Bucky's lips slowly curled upwards and he looked over towards the vast room of space people were slow dancing in to the classical music blaring out of the speakers.
"Come on…" He brought her over to the scene and she gasped as he pulled her straight up against his body, his hands on her hips and she placed hers behind his neck. They danced in silence just listening to the music for a while. She would brave a glance up at him but quickly look away when she saw the soft expression he wore.
"Belle…" She looked up at him with wide eyes and his thumbs moved up and down on her waist, making her blush for the hundredth time, "You look beautiful tonight. I didn't tell you that earlier."
"I-It's not much. Just a dress." She smiled shyly and he shook his head.
"I mean you. The dress is lovely, but you are stunning." He winked and she looked down, focusing on their shoes.
"Bucky…" She started and wetted her lips, "I just wanted to tell you, before you left that… I…."
"What is it Belle?" He lifted his hand to touch her cheek lightly, his palm against her skin drained the words from her mouth.
"I…" She closed her eyes, "I really like you!" She daren't open her eyes again, feeling the heat in her neck and cheeks as he stopped swaying to the music with her. She cracked an eye open and he was smiling. It wasn't a particularly happy smile, nor was it a sad smile, but it was one of relief.
"Like more than a friend?" She nodded hesitantly, feeling herself beginning to tear up. What if he didn't feel the same way? She squeaked in surprise when he pulled her even closer, their chests touching, and he lowered his head to her ear and as he spoke his cheek grazed her own.
"I like you too." He whispered, "As more than a friend."
She froze, a flood of emotion running through her as she took in his words. They were followed by the pressure of his lips against the skin just below her ear. He pulled away but not completely, looking straight into her eyes. Neither of them could look away. Belle's heart raced and he could almost feel the beating against his chest and it sent a thrill right down his spine. He leaned forward, as if testing the space between them and she waited for him patiently until he pressed his lips to hers gently. It was a feather light kiss, a cautious one that made a hurricane of the butterflies in her belly. It quickly turned into a more passionate kiss and it left them both breathless and flushed when they pulled away. They stared at each other with wide, lustful eyes and they laughed together breathlessly.
"I've wanted to do that all day." He admitted. They'd given up on dancing and were walking hand in hand towards Bucky's car.
"You have?" She pondered softly, a hint of disbelief in her melodic voice. Bucky chuckled and stopped her in front of his car, placing his hands on her waist with a smile.
"Yes." He kissed her swiftly and it lasted a few seconds before he unlocked his car and opened the passenger seat door for her, "Milady." She giggled and slipped into the car, her brunette date closing the door behind her and moving to his side of the car.
Once in, he looked at her and saw that she was already falling asleep. Her head was resting against the window and her eyelids kept falling shut, although she would force them open angrily and in doing so her nose scrunched up adorably. He placed his hand on her knee and she looked at him sleepily. Now her gaunt look from that morning was returning to her face and he frowned.
"Belle, go to sleep. You need it." He stated sternly and she nodded silently, closing her eyes and curling up in the seat against the door in a position where she felt most comfortable.
A ghost of a smile flashed across his face before he turned the cars engine on and drove away from the Expedition, glancing at her occasionally. She looked peaceful when she slept: emotionless, but calm and serene. It startled Bucky how happy it made him to see her so peaceful. It startled him how quickly he fell for the girl with the mismatched eyes. It made it all the more difficult to leave her behind to head into the big bad world called War. He shook his head of the thoughts and parked his car outside her apartment block. He shook her shoulder gently, the girl half opening her eyes and stretching her arms with a sigh. He got out and went to her door, opening it and helping her step out of his car.
"Come on, doll." He smiled, and he shut the door behind her. She leaned into him as they walked to the door.
"Can't you stay the night?" She asked hopefully, looking up at him through her eyelashes. He shook his head solemnly.
"I'm afraid not." He tried hard not to let his emotions get to him, "I'm sorry Belle…"
"It's okay. I understand." She was quiet and looking down at her feet, trying to hide the tears welling in her eyes. This would be the last time she saw Bucky for a long time. Bucky placed two fingers beneath her chin and she looked up at him, a tear escaping and falling down her cheek.
"Belle…" He kissed her for the third time that night, relishing the softness of her lips against his for as long as he could.
"I promise I'll come back to you." He whispered, blinking away his own tears but failing as the look of sheer sadness and desperation on her face and in her tearful eyes was overwhelming, "I promise to come back to you."
She didn't answer, she only wrapped her arms around him in a hug. They hugged each other impossibly tight, neither wanting to let go. Eventually, Bucky retreated from her. He kissed her forehead softly and whispered goodnight before disappearing in his car around the corner of the street. Belle stood outside for a good five minutes until she managed to will herself inside to where the warmth was. She entered her apartment sluggishly and flipped the light switch on. She walked into the front room, but when she looked up from the floor she couldn't help but let out a little shriek of fear when she saw the man sitting in her armchair with his legs crossed and an open book on his lap.
"Hello Miss Carter."