DISCLAIMER: I do not own any part of "Avatar: the Last Airbender." Except probably in a parallel universe somewhere. No - actually, not probably. There is a 100% certainty that somewhere there is a parallel universe where I own "Avatar"... But I guess that doesn't count here. *sobs*
EMBER ISLAND
EIGHT MONTHS LATER...
"More power!" Zuko shouted. "Concentrate, Aang!"
Aang struck away the beads of sweat dripping down his brow, clenching his teeth in frustration and digging his heels into the earth.
Concentrate, he ordered himself mentally. Stop thinking so much.
"Keep your stance," Zuko barked. "Use your breath – fire comes from the breath, not the muscles."
With a fierce roar, Aang leaped into the air, going through the motions of the Firebending routine with intense energy. This was an easy pattern – the first he'd learned, aside from the dragon dance he and Zuko had both learned together – but today he found himself struggling to remember the movements. Firebending wasn't difficult for him; once he'd overcome his initial mental block, it usually came with fluid ease, and he would soon be nearly on Zuko's level of skill.
But Aang wasn't feeling like himself today. He was frustrated, and distracted.
The day before, Sokka – for reasons Aang now could not fathom – had somehow talked the whole gang into going to see a play. A play about themselves, and all their (now famous) adventures. A play performed by the atrocious Ember Island Players.
Worst idea ever.
Zuko had tried to warn them – he knew the Ember Island Players were awful. Katara, too, had pointed out that it was perhaps not the greatest idea to see a play about themselves. But Sokka had insisted, and somehow he'd convinced all of them. Aang, stupidly, had agreed to go from the start. He'd always rather enjoyed the attention he received as the Avatar; and anyway, curiosity was a weakness of his.
Images from that horrible play kept running through his mind today and filling him with distracting rage. That woman! – That flouncing, flitting, fluttering, tittering, mind-bogglingly irritating woman! – And she was cast in his part? Giggling, playing pranks, leaping about the stage like some childish clown!
"I'm the Avatar, silly! Yip yip! Hee hee hee!"
Aang's face still flushed with rage, just thinking about it. It was humiliating! Especially in front of Katara.
And then there were the more grim scenes near the end of the play, which made Aang's stomach curl into a quivering little ball inside him. The actor who played Zuko, dying with an agonizing scream in the fake flames of his fake evil sister Azula. The conclusion, in which the Firelord Ozai character easily killed that prancing wannabe Avatar in the final battle. How he gloated over his theatrical victory with a steaming, putrid mound of Fire Nation propaganda, as the Fire Nation audience cheered eagerly to see the Avatar destroyed.
Aang shuddered. If only he could erase every bit of it from his mind.
Yet somehow, right now, despite all that – what was really distracting him more than anything was not the play itself, but the humiliating and crushing conversation he and Katara had had on the verandah during the second intermission.
I'm just a little confused, she'd said. Confused. Therefore, not in the mood to be kissed. But, of course, like an idiot, what had he done? – The awful moment kept replaying over and over in his head: the unhappy shock in her eyes, the anger in her voice, the awkward embarrassment. He'd blown it. How could he have been so stupid?
Aang's feet got tangled up in one another as he went through the Firebending routine, and clumsily he lost his balance and fell to the ground like a pile of rotten cabbage.
"Ugh, what's wrong with me?" he demanded, pounding his fists into the dirt in frustration. A little poof of fire burst from his flaring nostrils.
"You've never had trouble with this routine," Zuko commented with slight confusion. "This should be easy for you."
"You don't have to tell me that!" Aang shouted. "I already know I have this one down. Here, let me start again – " He rose to his feet, ready to annihilate that stupid routine. The Airbender tattoos on his fists flexed and trembled.
Zuko scrutinized him carefully. He was still so small – though he was certainly growing fast enough – but despite his size, he looked like nothing less than raw, condensed power. There was an anguish and frustration in his eyes, very uncharacteristic of him, that made Zuko suspect perhaps now was not the best time to practice Firebending.
"You're not yourself today," Zuko said. "I think we should take a break."
"No!" Aang protested. "I don't need a break. We've barely started. If I just –"
"Aang," Zuko glowered sternly at the young Avatar. "It's time for a break."
Aang glared at him for a moment, and then his fists began to relax. He sighed.
"Fine," he said quietly. "We'll take a break."
"Get some water," Zuko ordered him, heading for his own canteen on the stone steps of the courtyard.
Aang went to a fountain at the other end of the courtyard and merely dunked his bald head straight into the flowing water. He held it there for so long that Zuko began to worry that he was trying to drown himself, but just before Zuko was about to intervene, Aang's head burst out of the water. He gasped and sputtered, rubbed his face furiously, and then Waterbended all the extra water dripping from him back into the fountain. He was completely dry by the time he stumbled wearily over to sit down next to Zuko on the steps, still breathing deeply.
They sat in silence for a long time, staring at the empty courtyard, each lost in his own thoughts. Birds chirped nearby, unaware of the complexities of the world. In the distance, the ocean whispered.
Zuko couldn't imagine ever getting used to the unpredictability of Fate. Was it really less than a year ago that he'd been so consumed with rage? It seemed almost like another lifetime now. Back then, his sole purpose in life had been to capture this kid – so ordinary, yet so significant – to win back his honor and his father's love. And years before that, this very palace had been the vacation home he and his family came to during the summertime. Before his mother vanished; before his sister Azula had become so utterly, frighteningly heartless; before he knew what a monstrous tyrant his father really was. And now, here he was. Ex-prince of the Fire Nation and rightful heir to the Firelord's throne, sitting in his family's old vacation home training the Avatar, his one-time archrival, to fight and defeat his own father.
Destiny is a funny thing. Zuko could almost hear his Uncle's voice, saying those words and sipping a cup of jasmine tea, smiling in that patient, knowing way of his. Zuko missed his Uncle terribly. But what worried him more at the moment was the fact that his Firebending pupil, who had very little time left to prepare to fight Firelord Ozai, seemed to be having some kind of minor breakdown.
Aang, on the other hand, already knew that Fate was fickle. It was no longer a surprise to him. After all, he'd accidentally frozen himself in an iceberg for a hundred years, just in time to avoid the slaughter of his people, the Air Nomads, by the Firelord Sozin. And he'd been awoken from the ice at precisely the right time to train and fight Firelord Ozai and set the unbalanced world to rights once more. Coincidences just don't happen that way.
Especially when the "coincidence" that had freed him from the iceberg was the ridiculously beautiful, blue-eyed Water Tribe girl he'd been in love with nearly since he first set eyes on her.
Aang remembered everything about that day. The white daylight, drawing his mind back to consciousness. Sudden awareness of the terrible cold. The dizziness of awakening – tipping, falling, sliding. The ache – the confusion – And then Katara leaning over him, hair dancing in the frigid wind, blue eyes sparkling at him with concern and curiosity, and the pure sunlight behind her.
And what was the first thing he said to her?
Will you go penguin sledding with me?
Right. He'd been an idiot from the very beginning, apparently.
Although Aang could have, and should have, been pondering a million other things at the moment, such as his imminent confrontation with the Firelord, all he could manage to think about right now was Katara. Perhaps thinking of Katara was a way for him to momentarily avoid the unpleasant truth that he would have to kill the Firelord in the battle; but if it was a distraction, it was almost equally as unpleasant. He scourged himself with the memories of the night before: Katara – recoiling from him in frustration. Katara – hurrying to get away from him. Katara – sitting beside Zuko for the rest of the play, avoiding his eyes very deliberately.
"What's bugging you?" Zuko asked finally, in a voice more gruff than usual. Zuko usually got a little awkward when he was forced to talk about – feelings – with people.
"I'm just tired, I guess," Aang sighed, leaning on his knees and folding his arms behind his bald head. "That play kinda took it out of me last night."
"Yeah, I know what you mean," Zuko grunted. He was already dreading the inevitable moment he would have to face his sister Azula – the cold, evil, manipulative Firebending prodigy – and watching her character burn his character alive on the stage had not done anything to alleviate his anxiety.
"It's not just the play though, is it?" Zuko pressed, knowing they wouldn't get anything else done today unless Aang got whatever it was off his chest. "You're upset about something. Trust me, I know anger when I see it. I've had lots of experience with it. And you hardly ever get angry about anything. So, what's going on?"
"It's nothing, all right!" Aang said, digging his toes into the dirt. "I'm just still mad about the play, that's all."
"It was a bad play," Zuko agreed. "But I don't think it's worth getting so upset about. I mean, in a year no one will even remember it."
"I know! But – agh," Aang growled. "It was just really, really bad. So bad. I just – I don't want to talk about it."
Female voices drifted over the summery breeze, and on the other side of the cloistered courtyard, Katara and Toph meandered through the open arcades, arguing about something – Toph's hygiene, from the sound of it. Katara was in the process of convincing Aang's blind Earthbending teacher to at least agree to wash her feet twice a week; Toph was arguing that clean feet made her uncomfortable.
Zuko watched the two girls pass through, and then glanced at Aang. The boy was staring straight at them, his cheeks flushing awkwardly. His gray-eyed stare was enough to draw the attention of Katara, who glanced their way for a brief moment, then hastily turned back to Toph, continuing away from the courtyard.
Aang's eyes fell straight to the ground, and he sighed deeply.
Aha, Zuko thought – so that's what the problem was.
He suddenly recalled how Aang had made such a big deal about not sitting next to Katara during the play. And then there was that painfully bad scene in which Katara's actress, absurdly and incessantly melodramatic, had declared a romantic attraction to the ridiculous, whiny Zuko character; not only that, but she'd gone on to insist that the Avatar was nothing more than a little brother to her. Zuko had felt uncomfortable himself; but Aang had got up and simply walked out. No wonder.
"So... you like her, huh?" Zuko asked bluntly.
Aang immediately sat bolt upright. His big eyes turned to Zuko with a look first of alarm, then embarrassment, then anger, then awkward shyness, then false innocence. Zuko wasn't sure if the boy was going to yell at him or giggle.
"Like who? What?" Aang stuttered clumsily. "I mean – I don't know what you mean. Who are you talking about?"
"Don't be dumb, kid," Zuko said, almost laughing at him. "You know who I mean."
Aang paused, shifting his eyes for a moment. Then he grinned feebly and suggested, "Uh… Toph?"
"No. Not Toph."
Aang seemed to realize he was cornered. For a moment, it looked as if he was considering a gusty Airbender-style escape – he'd escaped from Zuko that way many times before, after all.
Apparently, though, he decided this situation was more inescapable, because finally he just sighed tragically and slumped over again.
"She doesn't like me," he finally murmured.
Though Zuko wouldn't have ever said so, he felt a little sorry for the kid. Love was hard – he knew that from experience as well. But at the same time, he couldn't help but feel a little annoyed. After all, Zuko had abandoned his girlfriend Mai in order to come help Aang learn Firebending, and now she'd probably hate him forever. But that didn't stop Zuko from doing his duty.
Besides, Aang had to be wrong. He was sure of it.
"What makes you think she doesn't like you?" Zuko asked. "I would have thought – "
"She told me." Aang sighed again in dejection.
"She did?" Zuko asked incredulously.
"Well… basically."
"When?" Zuko demanded. Probably months ago, he thought to himself. She must have changed her mind since then – or maybe the kid was just reading too much into things. Zuko just couldn't fathom that Katara didn't like Aang, at least a little. He well remembered the look on her face at Ba Sing Se, after Azula had sent a deadly lightning bolt pulsing through Aang's body. Aang had screamed in agony, then plummeted unconscious to the ground. Katara, disregarding the entire battle going on around her, had rushed to catch him, pummeling everything in her path with a gush of water. Zuko could still see the young Waterbender, cradling Aang's limp body in her arms, streams of tears falling down her cheeks and complete despair in her eyes.
And then, of course, there was that threatening speech Katara had given Zuko on his first day in the good-guy gang. That was only a few weeks ago. She'd made her point so well, Zuko had been slightly afraid even to speak to Aang for days, for fear of what Katara might do to protect him.
Zuko shook his head. If she didn't have some kind of feelings for Aang, then Uncle was indifferent to jasmine tea.
"It happened last night, during the intermission," Aang replied miserably, taking Zuko by surprise. "She didn't say it straight out, but… Well, I figured it out."
"Oh." Zuko's eyebrow – the one on the side of his face that had not been burned away by his father years before – rose slightly, but he couldn't think of anything to say. Helping people with their romantic lives was not one of Zuko's specialties.
"Is it you?" Aang asked suddenly. There was a small shudder of anger in his voice, but it was buried beneath a thick layer of sad resignation.
"What? What do you mean?" Zuko asked, bewildered.
"Last night, she told me we can't be together because she's confused," Aang explained. "It's because of you, isn't it?"
"What?" Zuko cried, completely taken aback. "You think there's something between me and Katara?"
"I can't think of any other explanation," Aang said defensively. His gray eyes glared fiercely, daring Zuko to deny it.
Zuko was dumbstruck for a moment. "Just because it happened in that stupid play doesn't mean it's real! I have a girlfriend, remember?"
"Yeah, yeah, the knife-throwing girl," Aang muttered. "But you left her."
"Not because I wanted to!" Zuko growled, trying hard not to get angry. Since his last painful meeting with her in the Boiling Rock, the subject of Mai was a difficult one for him. "Look – up until about a week ago, Katara hated my guts. She basically told me she would destroy me if I did anything to hurt you."
Aang pondered for a moment, then furrowed his brow in frustration. "Well… but I'm the Avatar. Of course she wants to protect me."
"Aang," Zuko sighed, feeling impatient. "She likes you. Maybe she's just not ready to show it yet, but she does, deep down."
"How do you know?" Aang asked, clearly incredulous.
"I just have a hunch, okay?" Zuko rolled his eyes, feeling slightly embarrassed and wishing he could get back to yelling Firebending instructions at Aang instead. "You just – can't let this bother you so much. I know it's hard, but there are more important things you need to focus on right now."
"Yeah," Aang sighed. "I know. I just can't help it. It's like - it's like I can't do anything right. One minute, things are great. And then the next I've totally blown it. I don't get it. What am I supposed to do? Is it supposed to be like this? I mean - I just - I don't understand why it has to be so complicated!"
He hid his face in his knuckles in frustration.
Zuko didn't smile that often, but he couldn't help a small grin now. After everything Aang had done, and could do – with all the armies and monsters and disasters he'd faced and overcome – with the fate of the entire world resting on his shoulders – the all-powerful Avatar was completely undone. By a girl.
Understandable, Zuko thought. Kind of pitiful. But mostly, hilarious.
"What's wrong with me?" Aang asked for the second time that day, his eyes turning to Zuko in earnest distress, hopefully looking for any words of wisdom or reassurance.
Yikes. I should say something. Uh... What would Uncle say? Zuko wondered. He looked at the unhappy boy dumbly for a few moments, attempting to somehow channel his Uncle's wisdom. Nothing came. Drat. He'd just have to try it on his own, then.
"Well, I don't think anything's wrong with you," Zuko finally shrugged, deciding if he couldn't think of something wise to say, the next best thing would be the simple, straightforward truth. "You've got a lot going for you, kid. I mean, you're the Avatar."
"Yeah, but you're the Fire Prince," Aang mumbled, clearly not reassured whatsoever.
"Ex-Prince," Zuko corrected him. "And who cares? We were talking about you."
Aang didn't reply. Just slumped.
"You just need to give Katara time," Zuko went on. "I'm sure she's just preoccupied with the war and everything, and once it's all over, things will be different. Honestly, I think you ought to be more preoccupied with the war yourself, considering the whole thing revolves around you."
"Maybe you're right," Aang sighed.
"It'll turn out for the best, trust me," Zuko said, patting him a little awkwardly on the shoulder. "My Uncle would say that Destiny is a funny thing. From my experience, you really can never tell how things will turn out, so you just have to go with it and trust that you'll end up where you're supposed to be."
Wow, Zuko thought to himself. Any more speeches like that, and soon I'll be drinking tea and playing Pai Sho all the time too. Great – he was becoming old.
Aang smiled at Zuko slowly – an appreciative look, though more for the simple fact that Zuko had actually made an effort to help him than because he actually felt better.
"Thanks, Zuko," Aang said, staring across the courtyard in deep thought. "You're right, there are more important things at stake for me to worry about this. I'm glad I could talk to you about it."
"No problem."
"My feelings for Katara got in the way once before, too. Because I couldn't control them, I ran away from my training in the spirit world to help her and locked up my last Chakra."
"Uh-huh."
"If I'd just had more self-control and let go of my feelings, I'd be able to use the Avatar state to fight the Firelord. But now I have to go into battle without it. I can't afford to let anything like that happen again. I have to forget Katara now and focus."
"Uh-huh," Zuko yawned. He'd started to zone out around the time Aang said the word Chakra.
"I know I have to do it, but it's still hard." Aang sighed, leaning back on his elbows. He tilted his head back to gaze into the cloudy sky for a moment, then closed his eyes, immersing himself in the wind. He smiled softly. "I love her, you know."
Zuko stared at the kid, grinning slightly once more. Understandable. Yet somehow humorous. And almost, weirdly – cute – though Zuko would have never, ever used that word out loud.
"You're still just a kid, Aang," Zuko reminded him. "You've got your whole life to live."
"Technically, I'm 112 – no, wait – 113 years old now," Aang pointed out.
"But you're still a kid," Zuko insisted. "A really powerful kid, and a weird one. I'll give you that. But keep in mind, not many people find the person they're supposed to be with when they're your age."
"You mean a hundred and – ?"
"No, dummy. Thirteen." Zuko rolled his eyes, while Aang grinned. "That hundred years in the iceberg doesn't count. And you're missing the point, anyway."
Aang laughed a little, a mischievous spark in his eyes. "No, I got it. Thanks... Sifu Hotman."
Zuko rolled his eyes again and sighed with resignation at the nickname. Aang wasn't going to let it go - now he was just calling Zuko that because he knew it annoyed him.
"No problem," Zuko replied finally. "Now – think fast!"
And he suddenly launched a fireball from his fist. Aang sprang out of the way on a gust of wind, drifting like a leaf down to the other side of the courtyard. The stone steps where he'd been sitting a moment before were black with soot.
"Not funny!" Aang gasped.
"You've got to keep on your toes if you want to face my father," Zuko smirked. "Now – the routine, once more. And this time, actually concentrate."