Freddie

…

I walk up in a strange house. It wasn't my house cause it was just one big room with a bathroom and connecting kitchen. I feel hungover and my balls burned of hard core sex. Thank god it's a sunday. I look at the room from the bed. Everything is a total and complete mess, like I had sex on every inch of this place. Then I realized I am totally naked. Yep, I did have sex. My clothes are scattered all over. I don't even bother. I just really need a shower.

Sam

….

My head throbs with the pain of a hangover. God Fuck. My crotch feels like I shoved four maxi tampons in it. I am also naked. Fuck! I had sex! I look around my apartment. I had hard core sex on my coffee table. Just great. Not to mention the stain on my carpet. Fuck it! I look down at my fingers to check all limbs are at place. I look down at my wedding finger and see a gold band with a small diamond. Oh fuck, I am married. I hear my shower being in used. Oh fuck. I start looking for a shirt to throw on and I grab his cause it was the nearest one to me. I start to clean up the mess. I think I am going to throw out the carpet. I always hated it. Derek picked it out. I open the window and throw it on the fire escape. Shit my head hurts. I go to my kitchen and take an advil. I start to pick his and mine clothes. I feel a wallet in his pants pocket. Let's see if I married a billionaire. He does have a lot of dough. I find his driver's lisence, Let's see I married…FREDDORK?

" Oh, My, GOD!" I yell. I hear the shower turn off and Freddie runs out with a towel covering his lower half. I think he realized where he was.

" What's going on here?" He asks.

" How about you explain this!" I point up my wedding finger showing the band. He grabs my hand and looks at the damage.

" Oh fuck. We're married." I look down on the ground and see the documents from Seattle City Hall.

" Yeah legit married." I say showing him the documents.

" Fuck!"

-0-

Freddie and I stand in front of a judge at City Hall. I am wearing a red blouse and skinny jeans.

" So you two are telling me that you two were both under the influences of alcohol and got married here?" The judge asks.

" Yeah." We both say.

" Normally I would let this divorce go through but this is the seventh time this week I have had this case. I am not granting you the divorce. You two are going to stay married. Move into Freward Benson's aparment. Not to mention I am going to have a person to come every single week to make sure you two are committed to this relationship. I hate this generation that guts drunk and realizes they should get married!" He slams the wooden thing down and we both walk out.

" See at your house in a few?" I say to Freddie.

" Tenth floor, a hundred and twenty East avenue." He says.

" I know where you live." I say annoyingly. I pack up all my clothes and my land lord puts my house back up for rent. I leave the carpet. I pack up the contents of my fridge also. I pack some needless things that I thought I should have in Freddie's place. I get to his house and knock on the tenth floor door. He opens it and lets me in. His house is amazing. Two floors has a twirl down staircase. I see the kitchen and his living room.

" Well home." He says sarcastically.

" What? No carrying me over the threshold?" He picks me up bridal style and puts me on the couch. I look at him.

" I always imagined my life after I am married to be perfect." I say.

" Well it's not coming true." I get off the couch and I get the rest of my things.

" There is a walk in closet upstairs in the bedroom. You can put your clothes there." I take my boxes and walk up the staircase and find the bedroom. It's a king size bed. Green comforter. Lots of pillows. A bedside table on each side. I know which side I'm claiming. I find some underwear and keep it. I go through the drawers and find the invite to Carly's wedding. Written on it says " NOT GOING" I walk down stairs and lean over the counter looking into the kitchen. Freddie is doing the dishes in a black man tank.

" What is it?" He asks.

" I found the invite to Carly's wedding in one of the drawers." I say. He snatches it out of his hand and sees what she wrote on it.

" Fuck Ellie." He says and throws it into the trash bag. I silence appears.

" I know you don't like this one bit and to tell you the truth I don't either. As teenagers we we're…..evil to each other but if we're gonna make this work, we have to trust each other." He looks up at me.

" No more name calling?" He asks.

" Done." I reply.

" No pranks?"

" Done."

" No embarrassing me?" I roll my eyes and look back at him.

" Fine." That night we watch a movie with popcorn like old times with Carly. Then the movie goes all love dovey. The man looks into her eyes and he plants a kiss on her. It started to remind me of my first kiss that made me smile.

" Why are you smiling?" Freddie asks.

" It's just, the movie reminded me of our first kiss." I say taking a sip of beer.

" Oh yeah." Freddie says smiling. " Do you remember what song was playing?"

" It was Running Away by AM. I had that as a ringtone for a year." I reply. " I am such a girly girl for remembering that."

" I remember what day it was."

" You did?"

" Yeah. It was January 3rd."

" Wow. I never thought you would remember that."

" I also remember the day that Carly asked us if we liked the kiss." He says.

" Yeah. We never found out if we liked it." I say smiling.

" Not to mention a year later you and me lost our virginities to each other."

" Oh yeah. I the big pregnancy scare." (Rememeber iDo the Deed?)

" The most scariest day of my whole entire life."

" I know." I put my head on his shoulder and he kiss my forehead.

" I think I might enjoy these next few years." He says.

" You realize we have to tell Carly." I say.

"I know that." We go to bed and Sam was getting nervous cause the last time we were in a bed together we fucked.

-0-

Freddie

…

I walk into work and see Nina sitting at her desk and she follows me into my office.

" Care to explain why there is a voice message from City Hall telling you all of Sam Puckett's money and assets are all in your conjoined account now?" Nina asks. I get up from my seat and close the door and shield the blinds.

" I got drunk at Carly's wedding and I married Sam." I say hiding my face.

" You married Sam?" She screams. I cover her mouth.

" You can't tell anyone! Don't call my mother. She will come and find me and beg for grand children and why she wasn't invited to the wedding and I am not in the mood to tell her I got drunk."

" Didn't you get drunk at prom?" She asks. I told her that story?

" Yeah, and I was banned from hanging with the gang. Not to mention no internet for a month."

" Well, she isn't in control of you anymore." Nina says.

" Sam is telling Carly. Carly is gonna flip." I say.

" Well how about you and Sam get married again?" Nina suggests.

" Why would we get married again?"

" Cause..if you two get married. Your mom will never know of the drunk incident and not to mention it will boost the points of good marriage by doing a do-over wedding."

" That's not a half bad idea." I say.

" And if I were you. I would call Sam before she goes and tells Carly." Carly and Griffin are doing there honeymoon in New York City. Three hour time difference. I pull out my cellphone and call Sam.

" What do you want?" Sam asks.

" Nothing. But the greatest idea ever." I say.

" I'm listening."

" Don't tell Carly yet. We're gonna tell her, in a few weeks a the rehearsal dinner." I say.

" What are you talking about Benson?"

" Well Mrs. Benson, what if I told you can have the wedding you have always dreamed about?"

" Keep talking."

" My mom would kill me if she found out we got married due to alcohol. So, if we got married. She will never know and Carly won't flip."

" I like the way you think Mr. Benson. Talk to you tonight." I hang up the phone.

" Freddie!" Nina yells from her desk.

" What?" I say. She points upstairs.

" The big man wants you." I get out of my seat and go upstairs to Mr. Jenson's office. He gestures me to take a seat.

" I have noticed that you are a hard worker and you have a lot of time on your hands, not to mention your input here is absolutely fantastic. How would you like to stay here after hours to make life a bit easier. Come on. I double the pay and you'll get alone time."

" I love the offer Mr. Jenson but you see my wife,"

" Your wife? Your married?"

" Just recently yeah."

" Is she a good one."

" Yeah." I say.

" Well imagine office sex. I do with my wife here every once in a while when I have long nights and no one is here. Except for the janitor."

" We're not like that." I say.

" Okay but you could at least stay here longer on tuesday nights. That's all I ask."

" Sure."

" See you later." He says and I walk out the door. Never do I want to hear that discussion.

The day comes to an end and I head home. I find Sam in the kitchen which was weird cause I have never seen you cook.

" When did you cook?" I ask putting my bag on the table.

" Since cooking school." She replies.

" So that's where you were all those years." I say.

" Yeah, and then I got a job at Le Fance." She says. " I hope you like Shepard pie."

" Shepard pie?"

" It's meat with mashed potatoes roasted on top."

" I am actually looking forward for dinner for once."

" Why?"

" Ellie couldn't cook. She would buy already made stuff and heat it up."

" I was wondering why your oven was dusty."

" You cleaned it?"

" Yes Freddie. I clean." I take a seat on the couch and I turn on the t.v.

" And since you know have a wife, we could get rid of that porn you have in the Camping Box."

" That's Gibby's. He hides it here from Tasha."

" They seriously got married after High School?"

" Yeah. No one was invited cause they had it in Vegas."

" Wouldn't surprise me."

" Also tomorrow night I have to stay late at the office." I add.

" Why?"

" My boss wants me working late nights on tuesdays. I don't think it will be permanent."

" Little Freddie is a big shot now at Jenson's Incorperation."

" You can kill the jokes Puckett."

" You forgot that I am now a Benson."

After dinner we climb into bed. Sam gets nervous again. She wears tight underwear and a loose shirt. I move closer to her and wrap my arm around her.

" Why do you always get so nervous when getting into bed?" I ask.

" Did you really mean it? When you said you loved me at the golf course?" She asks.

" I did." I kiss her cheek and close my eyes.