Authors Note: So these chapters seem to be getting longer and longer. This one is a few hundred words longer than the last one and shows up as five pages in Microsoft Word. Not sure when it gets to the point of being too long though :/ I thought about breaking this one up into a 2 parter, but that would be really weird this early on in the story.
Hey kids, what time is it? PLUG TIME! If there's anyone here who's reading this that hasn't read Burning Promises
should really read those first. They're really excellent stories, especially considering the author is only 13. Lone Dark Knight has a very enjoyable writing style, and his stories have that good ol' fashion Drama everybody loves. Drama Booooooooomb. also, this chapter was written while repeatedly listening to gr8 story by SuG, so I would recommend reading it while listening to that as well.
Finally, thank you to everyone who has been following the story. It's already reached over 100 views, which is a first for any of my stories. I hope everyone that reads this story has as much fun reading it as I did writing it.
Adventure Time is copyrighted property of Frederator Studios and the amazing brainchild of Pendelton Ward. Please support the source material and buy Season 4 on DVD as soon as it hits the shelves.
Orson's eyes began adjusting to the light that was pouring into them. Maybe once his vision cleared, things would start to make more sense. Maybe this was all a dream he had while falling asleep at the desk in his study, the light was just the desk lamp and the strange figures he'd thought he'd seen were residual light rays bouncing around. Yeah, now was the time to stand up and put the nightmarish fever dream behind him. Work was probably in a few hours. He stood up, and rubbed his eyes.
Things did NOT get better.
Now that he could see clearly, Orson saw he was standing in the middle of a clearing amidst a forest of Cotton Candy trees and yellow colored grass. Ahead of him were the smoldering remains of what appeared to be a wooden table, as well as a motley crew of what could best be described as a hallucination no amount of narcotics could ever explain away.
Gathered around him in a semi-circle of shocked and concerned expressions, was an elongated unicorn with blonde hair and what appeared to be a rainbow for a body. Next to that, was a yellow bulldog standing on two legs, scratching its chin and frowning. To the dog's right, was a young man dressed in a blue shirt and pants with some form of ridiculous looking bear hat on his head; and then next to that was a young woman, glaring at him furiously with fireballs floating above her hands, and hair that seemed to be part of a large fire resting on her head. All of them were muttering, as a group of multi-colored Bulldog/Dachshunds ran around their legs excitedly shouting too many things to be understood properly. Finally, the young man spoke up.
"Jake," the man in the hat began with a shaky voice, "This doesn't look like normal old space junk anymore. What's going on here?" He reached for a red handle extending from his green satchel, eyes focused intently on me. Between him and the flaming girl, Orson decided not moving a muscle would be the best possible thing right now.
"I dunno man," Replied the yellow dog, "Usually it's just dead guys and artifacts in these things. But this guy doesn't look dead." He pointed at him, and then suddenly a finger on his paw stretched 10 ft and poked Orson in the cheek causing him to flinch. "Yup, definitely not dead. Yo' man! Do you speak common?" Jake asked Orson, staring intently as if he was some kind of new animal.
Before Orson could respond, the burning girl spoke up "He destroyed our family picnic, endangered Jakes kids, and junked up the spot Princess Bubblegum provided us with… HE MUST PAY!" Her head morphed into a demonic looking fire while bolts of pure energy surged from her arms.
"FP, don't sweat it sweetheart!" Came the man in the hat not a moment too soon, he sounded panicked, which meant they probably didn't want to kill him. Or at least all but one didn't want to. "I'm sure this guy didn't mean to do any of that, and no one was hurt! Please, don't waste this guy, for me?" He wrapped his arms around the fiery demonic girl and looked at her with wide shining eyes. She reverted back to normal in a few seconds and wrapped her arms around the man in return.
"Ok honey, I won't kill him for you. Sorry I lost it there," she said, blushing a bit in embarrassment, "It's just all that time and effort you and Jake put into making this happen, and all the food you guys made…" She looked over to the still smoldering remains with a disappointed frown.
"핀은, 화염 공주님, 제이크, 그건 저거나이 사람의 모양을해서 ... 인간?" Asked the rainbow unicorn. In Korean. Orson was pretty sure at this point that he was probably nuts, although he felt normal aside from a pounding headache.
"Lady's right guys, this guy DOES look human. But how could he live in a piece of space junk? Especially one that was in space until recently?" Jake placed his thumb and index finger under his chin while squinting. "Hmmmm, hey buddy! Who and what are you!" Jake barked at Orson.
There was one of two things he could do now. Run, and possibly be incinerated by the girl with the ability to conjure flames; or he could answer the question and accept whatever consequences being human might entail. The young man appeared human, so the second option was probably the safest.
"My name's Orson," He began with some fear penetrating his voice, "and yes, I am a human." His confirmation of his humanity elicited a group gasp from everyone in the semicircle around him.
"But… Humans haven't been around since before the Great Mushroom War!" Finn shouted with a mixture of confusion and panic tainting his voice. "Aside from me and Susan, and great Glob I'm not even sure how we're here, there aren't any other humans on Earth! Grod, I'm so confused…" Finn sat on the grass clutching his head. Flame Princess frowned and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder
"Ok, so if he's human why was he in a piece of space junk and NOT a skeleton? And how'd he survive all those years in this cramped thing?" Questioned Jake, stepping forward to get a better look at the wreckage. "What if he's an alien pretending to be human just to mess with us?"
Orson didn't like being approached by the dog and backed up a little, "I swear, I'll sound nuts when I do this, but I can explain! I'm just a scientist, and I was working with my friend on some box nails! But… they weren't normal nails, or something. We used one on our time machine and… and…" Orson searched for an explanation as to what the damn nail could've possibly done but was drawing blanks "It kinda… upgraded it to fully functioning. I was shot up into space, and sat there watching time accelerate past me for over 1000 years… And then I just fell. I have no clue what happened, how it happened, or whatever, but I swear I'm human!" Orson had a feeling that an alien pretending to be human to mess with this particular group would be in massive danger of being vaporized, or at least severely beaten.
"Ok then, if you're telling the truth," said Finn, standing up and starting to sound more intrigued, "do you have anything else with you from before the Great Mushroom wars?"
Orson thought for a moment and stepped out of the wreckage, looking at the split open shell. There was a storage space in the back which he and Keller had loaded with 'Time Travel survivors kits', but the storage space was currently being crushed under the rest of the craft. Not to mention, the whole crash and falling from orbit probably demolished anything inside. "Well, there's a storage space on the other end, but I'm not sure if there's anything left…"
"Let's check it out then!" Jake grew larger, causing Orson to step back and stumble over a piece of burnt picnic table. Finn got on the other side, and both lifted up the pod while flipping it and set it back down. As they flipped it, some panels came loose and flew off the shuttle like shingles off a house in a storm. Bending down, Orson picked up two halves of a long black nail that were lying on top of a scorched panel that landed near him and pocketed them. Never know when you might need something like that again.
Orson stood in amazement for a moment, a young man only a few years below him probably and a large yellow dog just lifted a spacecraft and then flipped it with enough force to fling some loose panels off it. Whatever was in the water here, he'd have to remember to drink plenty of it. After a few seconds of being stunned, he collected himself and looked for the handle, eventually finding it beneath a good amount of scorch marks and twisted metal. Pulling up on it left Orson once again stupefied. The goddamn nail had even upgraded the storage space, a simple hollow made with the same metal as the rest of the spacecraft was now a heavily padded and well lit. Inside, were two bags: A green duffel bag with a tag labeled 'Orson' on it, and a sky blue hiking backpack with "Keller" stitched on one of the straps.
Pulling both bags out; he decided to open his bag first. First thing he did was sleight-of-hand a small snub-nose silver Magnum revolver into his lab coat pocket. If they somehow knew what this relic was, the last thing he wanted to be seen as was aggressive. Following that, he turned it upside down and dumped the duffel bags contents on the ground. Not much but a bunch of canned foods, and an emergency medical kit. "Here," he said lifting the cans of preserved Green Beans, "Check the dates on these cans. The expiration should be a few centuries old, and the food inside should still be good. That would prove I'm a time traveler right?"
Finn and Jake cautiously picked up some of the cans and inspected them. Sure enough, the expiration dates on all the cans were from centuries ago. Jake molded his paw into a can opener shape and pried open a can of Spam. The pink, chunky cube inside looked healthy enough, although it's hard to tell when it has been processed to the point of just barely being edible. Jake then put his nose to the can and inhaled deeply. "It's good… I think…" He said, wondering if what was inside the can could even constitute food.
Finn came over and traded cans with the yellow dog, eating some of the Spam while Jake pried open a can of tuna. "It tastes like… ham?" Finn said with some uncertainty. Orson didn't blame the guy, no one who has ever encountered spam before could ever be prepared for cubed pig. "Well, I guess he's telling the truth. But what was that you said about a nail messing with your Time Machine before?" Finn was continuing to eat the Spam, and Orson began feeling sorry for accidentally destroying this guy's picnic if he was hungry enough to keep eating.
"I worked in a lab back in my time," Orson said with some relief. He was sure he was safe now, and felt he could relax without the Flame Princess girl waiting for him to slip up in some way. "We studied the supernatural and paranormal, and recently got some box of nails a guy had claimed were magic. Me and my associate were just joking around when we put one into our pet project Time Machine, activated it, and then it just… started working, sorta… It definitely wasn't supposed to jettison me up into space, but I guess the nail worked with what it had. I'm still confused on a bunch of the details; I really just want to get back home."
Finn had a look of nostalgia on him, like Orson had drudged up a long forgotten yet fond memory. "This nail, I don't suppose you could show it to us? I mean, if you forgot where you put it, that's fine but I think I know what happened."
Orson reached into his pocket and pulled out the two, still gleaming halves of the nail, handing them to Finn "They fell out when you and the talking dog flipped the craft, in an amalgamation of screws and welded bars, this was the only nail. So it was kinda hard to miss."
Finns eyes widened, "Whoah, Shmow! Jake, put that junk down and look what this guy had on his Time Machine!"
Jakes head stretched away from his body while the rest of him worked at the tuna can. "Dude, is that what I think it is!"
"Aw yeah man, this is a magic nail! This guy had one in his Time Machine, that's what allowed it to work!" Finn had an excited look on his face. "It's a shame it broke in the crash though, these things are so useful!"
Orson stood and composed himself. "Is it possible to reuse one? If we get it repaired, do you think that I could use it to get back home?" He had a good amount of enthusiasm in his voice. Maybe, just maybe, if he found something else to use as a time machine he could use the magic nail to get home to his own time!
"Not that I'm aware of," replied Finn, looking over the two halves, "I used to have three more of these four years ago, but I used the last of them fireproofing the tree house." Everyone couldn't help but notice that it got noticeably brighter and warmer from Flame Princess's direction. "Sorry we can't be of more help, but I do know one person who's smart enough to figure this sort of thing out. And sorry about the way we acted earlier; you just kind of took us all by surprise there." Finn looked a bit embarrassed and scratched his head. "Heck, I don't think we've even introduced ourselves. I'm Finn, and this is my brother Jake." Finn said, indicating the yellow bulldog.
"Yo." Jake waved a tuna covered paw at Orson.
"That's Lady Rainicorn over there, Jakes wife, and those little guys running around her feet are their pups Lilly, Syd, and Kim." Finn pointed to the rainbow colored unicorn, and three multi-colored dachshunds.
"당신 시간의 여행자 만나서 반갑습니다." said all four of them, smiling and waving. Orson had a feeling he would never be able to adjust to Korean speaking, rainbow colored unicorns no matter how long he was around one.
"And this lovely lady right here," Finn said, smiling and walking over to the burning girl, who was now blushing and glowing even brighter, "Is my fiancée and girlfriend for a little over three years now, Flame Princess." He got down on one knee and kissed her hand like a knight. This caused her to glow even brighter and giggle. When Finn stood back up, he had minor burns on his hand and lips where he touched Flame Princess.
"It's nice to meet you, and sorry about trying to incinerate you earlier. Anger is something I'm trying to control, among other things." She looked over with concern and a bit of sadness at Finns burn marks, like she blamed herself for having a body made of fire. Finn took notice immediately and smiled to show he was ok.
"It's ok sweetheart, don't worry about me." Finn said with a reassuring tone to Flame Princess. She gave a weak smile in return, but that still had a good amount of concern behind it.
Orson stood up and dusted himself off. "My name's Orson and it's nice to meet you all. I apologize about my… entrance. It appears I wrecked any plans for a picnic you guys had." Orson followed the trail of scorched earth from where the pod landed after FP had blasted it to the still smoldering remains of a wooden picnic table.
"It's cool man!" Jake said with an optimistic tone and a mouth full of tuna. "We figured a monster or something might wreck things anyway, so we had a backup plan, right Finn?"
"Gob, I almost forgot!" Finn said laughingly while slapping his forehead. He took off his backpack and pulled out a checkered, fireproof picnic blanket along with several Tupperware containers of food. "Hey Orson, how about you join us for the picnic and then we'll take you to meet Bubblegum later. You must be hungry, am I right?"
Orson paused for a moment, he hadn't eaten since 7:00 AM one thousand years ago and it had to be at least midday now. He scooped up a few cans of sardines and set them amongst the other food containers. "This is the least I can do for setting you guys back on this whole picnic thing. It'd be my pleasure to join, thanks for inviting me after I nearly smashed all of you." He said jokingly.
Soon, the new picnic was set-up, and everyone had a plate of Jake's soul food. But something kept gnawing at the back of Orson's mind, something he kept trying to push down with no avail.