A/N: Thank you for the reviews and the encouragement. Please be warned that this chapter contains one of the sweetest parts of the story as well as the most bitter. It all works together in the end.
I do not own Transformers.
Universe: G1
Characters: Prowl and Jazz, Ratchet, Optimus, Wheeljack
Warnings: Violence
Title: The Best Is Yet To Come (Chapter 3)
Jazz stopped outside of Prowl's office and signaled a request to enter. He didn't simply walk in as he had the night before since it was the normal work cycle and Prowl may have had someone in his office.
Prowl was physically alone in his office but he was thinking about Jazz. He certainly did not regret the previous evening. Prowl had his optics on Jazz for vorns. He had always thought Jazz was something of a flirt but as he thought about it, he realized that while the saboteur was certainly friendly, but Prowl had never actually seen him involved with another mech. Prowl shifted slightly in his chair. The movement caused his damaged fan to twitch. How long had Prowl been blind to Jazz's attention? He decided he might as well go to the med bay and get his fan repaired. It wasn't as though Ratchet would be surprised after the morning briefing. Just as he was getting up to face the medic, someone requested entry to his office. Ratchet could wait.
When Prowl saw the object of his thoughts standing in his doorway he couldn't help allowing his optics to sweep over Jazz's frame. Prowl then looked down in embarrassment and his doorwings trembled slightly. Jazz allowed the door to shut but did not lock it. He crossed the room and moved behind Prowl. After a long silence, Prowl sensed Jazz leaning over and felt his breath against his audio receptor. Jazz didn't touch him but whispered, "Primus, Prowler, do ya have any idea what ya do to me when ya look at me like that?"
Prowl nodded his helm slightly because when Jazz looked at him like that the previous night Prowl had felt the energon in his lines burn with desire.
Jazz gently rested his servos on Prowl's doorwings but went no further. "Prowler, ya know I'd never hurt ya, right?" Prowl nodded again but his vocalizer seemed to be inoperative.
Jazz let go of Prowl's doorwings and moved around to lean against the desk. Prowl didn't make optic contact. Jazz was glad he hadn't allowed things to get completely out of control the previous evening. If he had taken Prowl over the desk he wasn't sure things would be going as well this cycle. Not that things were going well right now. Something was clearly bothering Prowl.
Growing a bit concerned, Jazz asked softly, "Prowler? What's wrong, babe?"
Prowl finally looked up into Jazz's visor. "Jazz, how will we ever work together? I don't want to be in control when I'm around you."
Jazz grinned. "Then don't control yerself when yer around me, Prowler."
Prowl shook his helm. "Jazz, you don't understand. Do you know how difficult it was to concentrate in the briefing earlier? All I could think about was you."
Jazz continued to grin. "I'm glad yer thinking about me. Yeah, I know how difficult it was to concentrate in the briefing because I was thinking about ya, too." He became serious. "Prowler, give this a chance. Ya keep yer control while we're on duty and when we're off duty ya can just cut loose with me."
"Jazz, do you have any idea how difficult this is for me? I may not show it but I feel things very deeply. The twins with their pranks, the crew thinking I'm an emotionless drone, my responsibility as SIC, the war, the Autobot cause, my feelings for you… All of it I feel to the core of my spark."
"Prowler, are ya suggesting I can't handle ya?" Jazz asked with a smile.
"What?" Prowl was startled. "No. I'm afraid of being vulnerable." This last statement was said in a whisper.
"Prowler, ya can't love deeply until ya allow yerself to be vulnerable," Jazz whispered back. He took Prowl's servos and pulled Prowl to stand before himself. He leveled his gaze at Prowl. "I can handle whatever ya throw at me, just as long as I can be with ya." He drew Prowl closer and nuzzled his cheek. One servo dropped to Prowl's hip and ghosted over the spot which he had discovered the evening before to be particularly sensitive. With his cheek pressed against Prowl's he whispered, "I want so much more from ya than just overloads, more than just a physical relationship. I want all of ya and I want to give ya all of me. Anything ya want I'll do my best to give to ya. Just let me be around ya, the real Prowler, not what ya want everyone to see. Share yerself with me. Please, babe?"
It was that moment that Prowl realized how vulnerable Jazz allowed himself to become. He realized how afraid Jazz was that Prowl would reject him. Jazz sounded like he would break into hundreds of pieces if Prowl shut him out.
Afraid of speaking, Prowl pulled away slightly from Jazz. A small pained gasp escaped from Jazz's lips as if his spark was being pulled out of his chest. Prowl soothed the pain by pressing his lips to Jazz's. Startled, Jazz remained motionless for a moment then with a soft moan leaned against Prowl, wrapping his arms around the tactician, and slowly began to deepen the kiss exploring the pleasure of Prowl's mouth. Prowl's spark surged at the sensation of Jazz's glossa sliding against his own. Jazz continued to moan softly in joy at Prowl's acceptance. They lost track of time locked in each other's arms kissing one another thoroughly until an explosion rocked the base and alarms began to wail.
Prowl hit the comm switch on his desk. "Report!" both he and Jazz shouted over the alarms.
"Sir!" they heard Ironhide shout. "Starscream and his trine have invaded the base. Looks like it's just them but they managed to get by our perimeter defenses."
Prowl and Jazz burst out of the office and powered up their weapons while heading to the base entrance.
Prowl had computed a high probability that Starscream would attempt this type of attack – reckless and with no support other than his trine. Prowl had provided briefings to that effect. What he had failed to consider in his entirely logical analysis was Starscream attempting a bold attack on the main entrance. He had predicted a stealth attack in keeping with Starscream's cowardice, not a frontal assault. Such an attack would be insane… Prowl paused for a moment. He had failed to take into account Starscream's insane lust for power. It was the combination of that pause and Prowl's highly polished doorwings that dictated what happened next. Prowl and Jazz joined in the firefight where Starscream and the two other seekers were slowly being driven out. The seekers were inflicting heavy damages as they tried to do as much harm as possible to compensate for their failing attack. Prowl's pause had put him at the back of the group firing at the seekers. He lifted his acid pellet rifle and flicked a doorwing in concentration. Unfortunately, the highly polished doorwing reflect the light and before fleeing all three seekers directed their weapons at that spot.
Prow's shriek was lost in the noise of weapons discharge and explosions. Jazz grinned as the seekers were driven off but the grin vanished when he turned to Prowl.
Prowl's left arm, shoulder, and doorwing were completely gone, incinerated by the concentrated weapons blast. The only good thing about the concentrated fire was that most of the affected energon lines and circuits had instantly fused shut leaving only the ragged edges bleeding out energon. Prowl's optics were bright with shock. Jazz quickly dropped to Prowl's side and pulled emergency clamps out of his subspace and began to seal the lines still draining energon. That done, he could only wait while frantically signaling for help. He grasped Prowl's right servo. "Prowler! Stay with me! Ratchet is on his way!" Jazz began to wail when he noticed the charring to Prowl's spark chamber. The chamber was exposed due to the extensive amount of Prowl's frame that was now missing. Jazz couldn't bring himself to look further to see if Prowl's spark had been damaged. Time seemed to slow to a complete stop. Ratchet arrived quickly but while Jazz waited he watched in horror as Prowl's optics grew dim and then went completely dark. Jazz was roughly shoved out of the way and an instant later Prowl was gone, hauled to the med bay in a flurry of activity and the sound of Ratchet's cursing.
Jazz sat on the floor in shock until Ironhide pulled him up by the arm and made him help with the less critically injured. Jazz helped with the triage without thinking about it other than to note that most of the other's injuries were minor. The damage to the base entrance however was extensive. Extra patrols were dispatched to the perimeter and guards set at the entrance. Jazz fell into place by Optimus' side and helped direct the initial phases of repairs and getting the wounded to the med bay. Joors passed and Jazz was in anguish until he heard Ratchet signal Optimus summoning him to the med bay. Optimus motioned for Jazz to follow. They arrived to find every berth occupied, most mechs with minor injuries. The assistant medics were tending to those. Ratchet emerged from a private room and motioned over to Optimus and Jazz.
"It's bad, Prime. He still has spark but it's very weak. He's in medical stasis. We can't start repairs until he's stable." Ratchet sighed. "Even if he does pull through, Prowl has a rough recovery."
"What do you mean?" Jazz asked.
Ratchet growled, "His doorwing is gone, Jazz. I can fabricate a new one but Praxians house complex sensor arrays in their doorwings. They also use them for balance and other functions. He'll have to learn how to walk again. That's no easy task for a Praxian." Ratchet turned away to check on Prowl again and consulted with Wheeljack who had stayed by Prowl's side.
Of course, Jazz knew that doorwings contained sensors. He had no idea they were as complex as what Ratchet was implying. Suddenly, a number of things about Prowl made sense, when Prowl told Jazz he didn't know what he was doing, he was right. When Prowl staggered against the wall and fell to his knees, Jazz now understood it wasn't just the intensity of the sensations, it was that Jazz was affecting Prowl's sense of balance. As well as Jazz knew Prowl, for all the vorns they had worked together and even spent time off-duty together, Jazz now realized there were still things he didn't know about Prowl. One the one servo this bothered him because he thought he knew Prowl well. On the other, especially when he thought about the previous cycle, he relished the idea of making new discoveries about his lover. He paused. Could he call Prowl that? He looked through the door but couldn't see Prowl, he only saw Ratchet's back. Would Prowl even survive? He looked at Optimus who only nodded slightly to Jazz. Jazz looked back at the door and walked in.
Ratchet growled at Jazz but said nothing. Jazz pressed himself into a corner where he was out of the way but could see Prowl. Mercifully, Prowl's injuries had been covered but Jazz was still unnerved at how the warming blanket fell away where his arm, shoulder, and doorwing should have been. Prowl's form was deathly still. Since Jazz stayed unobtrusively in the corner he watched in silent horror as twice Ratchet and Wheeljack had to take desperate measures to save Prowl's spark. Jazz cringed at the sight of bare wires shoved directly into Prowl's spark. Eventually, Jazz slid to the floor and fell into a fitful recharge.
At some point Ratchet woke Jazz and sent him away telling him to get some energon. Jazz went to the empty rec room, got his energon, and returned to the med bay not wanting to be far from Prowl. He noted that most of the injured mechs were now gone. Jazz sat on an empty berth and sipped at his energon. He stared straight ahead and thought about Prowl. It was interesting how Prowl could be so sure and confident in his role as tactician and as Jazz's friend. But in all the time they had been friends, Prowl never made any attempt to turn their relationship into something more. Prowl hadn't resisted when Jazz finally did advance their relationship. Prowl was a curious blend of shyness when he had asked Jazz to polish his doorwings and confidence when he had wrapped himself around Jazz and fell into recharge. Jazz thought about the strange combination in himself. He had been so bold going to Prowl's office but when he had finally asked Prowl to give their relationship a change and Prowl pulled away slightly Jazz thought his spark would break. Now that he had tasted Prowl's kiss it was all threatened to be ripped away. Jazz sighed as he finished his energon. He lay on his side and curled up. He wished he was curled next to Prowl. He didn't want to think any more so he didn't. He just waited.
Jazz didn't know how much time had passed; he refused to check his internal chronometer. Ratchet touched his arm causing him to jump. "Prowl has stabilized. I'm getting ready to start repairs. Wheeljack helped me fabricate new parts." Jazz must have been waiting for a long time. His spark pulsed at registering that Prowl was stable. "Jazz, this is very risky. Doorwing replacement for Praxians is tricky. I can attach it but getting all of the circuits connected properly is difficult. If it isn't done correctly his systems won't accept inputs and his sensors will be irreparably damaged."
"He'd never walk again?" Jazz asked. As long as Prowl was alive he could deal with it.
"No, Jazz," Ratchet answered sadly. "If this fails, Prowl will go insane." Ratchet's word hung in the air. Jazz nodded and knew Prowl was in the best care available.
"Go back to your quarters, Jazz. You can't be here while we're doing this. I'll contact you when we're done."
"Can I see him first?" Jazz almost begged.
"He's offline," Ratchet replied. "Deep medical stasis." He paused. "Go. Two klicks."
Jazz rushed to Prowl's side. He picked up Prowl's servo and lightly kissed the back of it. He gazed at Prowl's face. His time was up all too quickly. "Love ya, Prowler," he whispered before setting down his servo and getting chased out by Ratchet.
"You're off duty, Jazz. I've already notified Prime."
"Thanks Ratchet."
Ratchet grunted and slammed the door in Jazz's face.
Jazz returned to his quarters and crawled into his berth. It already seemed empty without Prowl in it. He eventually slipped into recharge without bothering to set an internal alarm. His dreams were full of Prowl. Jazz dreamed of touching him and kissing him. Jazz dreamed of sharing his life with Prowl. Then the dreams turned into nightmares of Prowl going insane. Jazz onlined venting hard. He had been offline for joors but he felt no more rested. Checking the time he got up and went to Optimus' quarters. Optimus let him in and had him sit. He handed Jazz a cube of high grade and sat opposite the saboteur with his own cube. They drank slowly and silently. When they were done they began to talk about Prowl. They shared when they had first me the tactician, talked about their lives before the war, and the hopes they had for their lives both before the war and for after the war. They finally both fell into recharge where they sat soothed by the high grade and each other's company. The dreams and nightmares came again and Jazz woke sitting alone in the Prime's quarters. Optimus had apparently gone back to the command center leaving Jazz to recharge. It felt strange being alone in Optimus' quarters so he returned to his own. They felt empty. Jazz tried to listen to music but everything reminded him of Prowl. Finally, he left his quarters and wandered outside the base entrance. The debris had already been cleared and repairs were under way. Jazz watched the sunset and as darkness fell he felt like darkness was seeping into his very spark. He watched the stars as they moved across the sky. As the sky began to get light again he received a summons from Ratchet. He met Optimus as he hurried to the med bay and together they met the medic as he emerged from Prowls' private room.
"The repairs are complete. I've removed the stasis control. Now we just have to wait. With all of those relays and connections it could be a while before his processor can sort it all out. Jazz didn't care. He went into the room and reached for Prowl's servo. He looked whole again although he needed paint and a good polish. Jazz sighed. Ratchet brought a chair and Jazz gratefully sat not letting go of Prowl's servo. Optimus eventually entered the room with an energon cube for Jazz. Optimus looked at his SIC and then at Jazz. With a brief word of encouragement he left and Jazz was alone with Prowl. He heard only the soft sounds of the monitors which kept track of Prowl's systems.
Jazz consumed his energon and just looked at Prowl. He must have eventually gone offline because he onlined aware of sitting in an uncomfortable chair. At least no nightmares plagued him but no dreams soothed him either. He turned to Prowl and froze when he saw Prowl's optics online staring straight up. Jazz's voice stuck in his vocalizer but he was almost afraid that if he made a sound that he would lose this moment.
Jazz slowly stood and leaned over.
"Prowl?" he whispered. He took Prowl's servo in his own.
Prowl's optics grew brighter and then he screeched static.
Jazz tried to sooth him and frantically called Ratchet.
Ratchet arrived in moments. "Frag," he hissed. He dimmed the lights and turned the volume off for Prowl's medical monitors. "He's over-stimulated! Let go of his servo," Ratchet said quietly but with urgency.
Jazz tried but Prowl had locked his servo around Jazz's own. Prowl wouldn't let go. He tightened his grip on Jazz but otherwise seemed to relax.
Ratchet grunted softly. "He seems to want to hold on to you," he whispered. Then he shrugged and turned to check the monitors. Slowly Prowl's grip loosened but he didn't let go. Ratchet turned back to Prowl. Prowl was relaxed now but still holding Jazz's servo. Ratchet spoke softly to Jazz, "He seems to want to be able to touch you. You can stay but don't talk to him or touch him unless he initiates it.
"Ratchet, will he be okay?" Jazz said almost inaudibly.
"I don't know yet," was the equally quiet reply, "but the fact that he was somehow able to reach out for you is a good sign." He then turned and left leaving Jazz alone with Prowl in the nearly dark and silent room.
Jazz stood there for joors, not moving, not making a sound, looking at Prowl. Prowl remained still but his optics stayed online looking straight up at the featureless ceiling. Finally, Jazz heard Prowl's voice very faintly, "Jazz?"
"I'm here, Prowler," Jazz whispered very softly.
Jazz felt the servo around his own squeeze slightly. Jazz watched silently as Prowl slowly, ever so slowly, turned his helm to look at Jazz. Prowl just looked at Jazz for a long time. Eventually, Prowl whispered, "Jazz." Jazz thought he saw a faint smile before Prowl's optics offlined and he slipped into recharge.