Misunderstandings

By: Unknownred

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A/N: Thanks for reading thus far! I don't know if I'll be continuing after this story or not. I do enjoy coming up with misunderstandings between our shinobis. This story's dialogue is between four people, Naruto, Ino, Sakura and Sasuke. But don't worry, you'll recognize who is who once you read it. Let me know in the comment section below what you think!

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[Birds chirp on a chilly, autumn evening]

"Oh, my god, Sai, why aren't you home right about now? That boy needs to give some attention loving to his blond hair, blue eyes… Naruto?"

"Oh, hi Ino."

"Hi. What brings you this way? You know, Ramen Ichiraku is the opposite direction."

"I was just heading over to Sakura's place."

"Why? You're not cheating with Hinata on Sakura, are you? Now I know forehead has exotic hair and eyes, and that you loved her since you were kids, but now that you and Hinata are newlyweds, it wouldn't be right!"

"Oh no, it's not like that. Hinata knows."

"She knows…?"

"Yeah… In fact, she encouraged me to go see Sakura chan. After all, we haven't seen each other since the wedding."

"Wait…is there a bone to pick? Or, are you guys actually having one of those 'secret affairs'? Because I love hearing stories that could be true, surprisingly."

[Naruto scratches his head, sheepishly] "By secret, I'm surprised you don't know. And you're her friend!"

"Yeah, you're right! Change of plans, I'll join you to her house. There's a forehead I have a bone to pick!"

"…Okay!"

[At Sakura's apartment]

"Oh, look, Sasuke teme is there!"

"Oh, guess you missed your chance."

"Nah, perhaps now Sakura chan won't be alone because teme is there."

"Wait, you're fine with Sakura two timing you?"

"What? Why would Sakura chan two time me?"

"Oh, I don't know… because you went through all the trouble of coming here after Hinata's insisted encouragement and you're just going to give up?"

"I'm so confused. Ino, you didn't sound so happy of me bringing Sakura chan up but now you're okay with it?"

"Do you or do you not like Sakura?"

"Well, yeah, I do. Sakura chan has always been there for me even before I met Hinata but now that Hinata is here for me, Sakura chan will always have a place in my heart."

"If Sakura is that special to you, then what are you waiting for? Another guy is bound to take her away from you!"

"Mm, I think I know where you're going with this. Yeah… yeah, you're right! I'm going to knock on her door and invite both her and Sasuke!"

"Wait, what? No, Naruto, don't knock on her door!"

"Hey, look, the door is opened ajar!"

"Perhaps, Sasuke kun is inside doing the nasty with Sakura and he forgot to close the door."

"The nasty, him and Sakura chan? Now, in broad daylight?"

"Let's go in and see for ourselves!"

"Uh, Ino, I don't think that's a very wise- whoa!"

"Shhh…."

[Meanwhile]

"Hn. Lay down."

"Why?"

"It'll be much easier that way."

"Can I at least have a pillow?"

"You don't need one."

"Oh, b-b-but Sasuke, you sure?"

"Lay down, Sakura."

"Okay…"

"Comfortable?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I'm going in."

"Ah, wait, do it gently, please?"

"Ah."

"Mmm."

[Meanwhile]

"Oh…my...word. They are doing it… in broad daylight!"

"I don't think this is appropriate. We should leave!"

"What? No way! Have you ever wonder if Sasuke kun has ever banged a girl or was remotely gay his entirely adolescent years of you chasing after him?

"Sasuke, gay? No way! He likes Sakura chan, for sure!"

"And how close are you to Sasuke kun to even know he likes Sakura?"

[Naruto crosses his fingers] "This much!"

"Oh, yes, definitely a skeleton in the closet."

[Meanwhile]

"Ah, Sasuke, not so deep! It hurts!"

"Sorry."

"Are you almost done?"

"Not even close."

"Do you want me to turn? Oh! Okay, so I'm turning… thanks."

"Hn."

"Another round, here we go."

[Meanwhile]

"I can't believe we're witnessing this! Now I know for sure that Sasuke kun isn't gay and with you here makes my point even better!"

"Well, I can't believe we're spying on our friend's sexual affair. Can we go now?"

"Naruto, last I recalled, you would've done the same to your teacher just to know what he looks like without his mask!"

"That was years ago! And I wasn't the only one who wondered!"

"Whatever. If we leave now, they'll hear us and figure out we're here. So, no, we can't leave just yet! We'll leave when they finish!"

"When they finish? How long will that take?"

"Considering that this is their second round, not that long?"

[Naruto thoughts] "How many rounds does the teme have in him, is what I'm afraid to ask."

[Meanwhile]

"Does it feel that good?"

"Oh, yes. Hit that spot and it'll feel even better."

"Here?"

"Curve up. Ah! Yes, that's the spot!"

"Are you purring?"

"Oh! Am I? Hehe, guess I can't help it when you're doing this to me. Does it bother you?"

"I don't mind it."

"Mmm, just a little more."

"Hn."

"Oh my gosh, I haven't felt that good in forever! Thanks, Sasuke!"

"Ah."

"I supposed you'd like a reward for your efforts?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"Perhaps, something in return for-"

[Simultaneously]

"I can't take any more of this, I'm leaving!"

"What? No, Naruto, you can't! They'll hear us!"

[Naruto stumbles to the front door] "Beats us from having to explain ourselves for being here in the first place!"

[Simultaneously]

"Shhh, someone's inside."

"What? I wonder if it's Naruto. I should be expecting him soon."

"I'll use my-"

"No, it's alright. I'll go check myself."

[Sakura walks to her front door]

"Naruto, is that you?" Oh, Ino, too! What do I owe the pleasure of your guys' surprise visit?"

"Ah, Sakura chan, sorry to intrude, but your door-"

"Neighborhood watch. Geez forehead, I would've expected you to be a little cautious in locking your doors. But I needn't worry. You can handle yourself."

"Oh, thanks pig! Would you both like to come in? It's a bit chilly outside."

"We don't want to intrude, but if you insist!"

"I do. Naruto, are you coming?"

"Coming?"

"Inside the house. …Is there something wrong?"

"I… actually, I have something to tell you, but-"

"Well, whatever you have to say can wait until after you're inside from the cold."

[Inside Sakura's apartment]

"Teme."

"Dope."

"Oh my, my! Sasuke kun, you're here, too? Keeping Sakura all to yourself now, are you? Well, that's not fair."

"Hn."

"Ino! It's not like that. Sasuke's here on a small mission."

"Keeping you company from the cold, I'm sure."

"Uh, no. He's here because he's completing the last hour of his community service regarding his probation."

"Oh, cool man. You should've told me so then afterwards, we could go out and celebrate!"

"Didn't want to disturb your time with your new wife."

"And you just happen to be his client, forehead?"

"Yes, well, I requested a helping hand in the house. You know I just moved in earlier this week and I'm not completely settled. So, Kakashi appointed Sasuke to serve me."

"Serve? Helping hand? Are you using his duty to your advantage- o-ho, you're a sneaky girl!"

"Huh?"

"You learned well from your master!"

"Ino-pig, what are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"No, no, I don't think I do."

[sigh] "You're not fooling anyone, Sakura. Especially not me."

"Ino, I really have no clue what you're talking about or what you think you know. Please, indulge me."

"God, Sakura, sometimes you're more clueless than these guys when it comes to sex."

"Sex?!"

"Ino, perhaps this is not the right time or place to confess…?"

"Naruto, it's now or never! If it wasn't for Hinata, we wouldn't be here!"

"Confess? Naruto? What's this about? What's going on?"

"Forehead, what task did you give Sasuke to perform on you? And don't you lie, or so help me!"

"Uh, help me settle into my apartment?"

"Implying?"

"He'd move furniture, unpack boxes of stuff like kitchen ware or my medical encyclopedias with whatever he can manage."

"Uh huh. And I don't suppose during his spare time, he'd change your door locks, fix your bed, fold your laundry…for free!"

"Not in that sense, but that's what community service kind of is. Helping in whatever I ask him to."

"'Whatever' can mean anything, Sa-ku-ra."

"You know what I mean, pig! And give the guy a break, he only has one arm! You can't really do much with one arm, now can you Ino?"

"If I were he, I could do much more than I'm capable of doing, Sakura. Now, I think you're not telling me the whole truth."

"What truth?"

"Thetruth?"

"I don't know what truth you want to hear?"

"Sakura chan, whatever is about to come out her mouth, just remember who's the biggest gossiper in town!"

"Hey!"

"What's this even about, Ino?"

"We saw you!"

"Saw me, what?"

"You and Sasuke kun!"

"We didn't technically see anything, Sakura chan. We just coincidentally overheard-"

"You guys doing the nasty! In broad daylight, how could you Sakura?"

"Since when?"

"Like ten minutes ago."

[Awkward of silence]

"WHAT!?"

"Now, now… I know it's embarrassing and it wasn't right on our parts to eavesdrop but it makes sense now. After all, those theories of Sasuke being gay, he was actually having secret affairs with you and you didn't even tell me- your best friend!"

"Whoa, I am not doing the nasty with Sasuke! And secret affairs, where'd you even get a ridiculous idea like that?"

"Naruto told me."

"Wait, NARUTO?!"

"Dope."

"WHAT, NO I DIDN'T! I swear I've never said Sakura chan is having a secret affair with Sasuke!"

"Oh please, I swear your brain is a bean when it comes to lying. You told me that Hinata encouraged your love life with Sakura to continue and then after seeing Sasuke enter Sakura's house, you wanted to invite both Sakura and Sasuke to your foursome fetish fantasy whatever you people do. And you all had the galls to hide this from me?"

"I swear, Sakura chan, it's not true! Remember what I told you about Ino's filter? PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!"

"WAIT! Let me get this straight… you both eavesdropped since Sasuke's arrival?! How in the world did you even get inside?"

"It's no secret that we're ninjas, Sakura. It's not that hard to unlock your door. It's not chakra infused-"

"-It was ajar when we arrived, Sakura chan."

"Even though it should after what we heard, forehead!"

"Hn. And that is?"

"Dare I say it! With Sakura being timid throughout the whole affair, you were going in and out of her like a dog in heat!"

"Oh my god, it's not what you think, pig!"

"Oh, it's not? Because I'm definitely convince that Sasuke's not gay now."

[Moment of silence]

"He's not. I saw to it myself when he went in for his colon-"

"Sakura."

"Ino, Sasuke's not gay as I told you before. He likes Sakura chan."

[Hits Naruto upside the head] "Dope."

"OW!"

[gasp] "So you do like me, huh?"

"Oh yeah, says the guy who kissed him during our genin days! Says the guy who chased after him most of our teen years!"

"What's with you people thinking I'm gay? I already proved I'm not."

"Yeah, yeah, so you kissed Sakura. For all we know, you can kiss any girl as a cover up that you're actually gay!"

"I'm not."

"Did you see him kiss her, Ino?"

"Boy, please, I was on the phone when it happened!"

"I already provoked him, Ino. Besides, pig, it's true that Sasuke is not gay. And we didn't do the nasty. It's a huge, big misunderstanding! Especially on your part, Ino. Like you said, you only heard! Not saw; not witness; what proof do you have?"

[Ino points at Naruto] "I am too a witness, and besides this guy was with me when you and him went all down and dirty! You couldn't help but bare it to the whole town! Lucky, it was your friends who heard you and not some perverted sleaze ball!"

"Like I said, it's not what you think!"

"Then tell me, Sa-ku-ra, how did it go down?"

"I had a hard time hearing the past week. Sasuke got annoyed from repeating himself and so he offered to clean my ears. With Q-tips."

"Oh! Hinata did the same to me during our honeymoon phase. I cannot explain the wonderful sensation I felt!"

"Okay, ew, I did not need to hear your sexual life with our dear innocent Hyuga."

"Uzamaki."

[Ino rolls her eyes] "Whatever."

"Annoying. If you want further proof, go into the bathroom and see for yourself."

"As if I wanna see forehead's earwax. …Wait! This isn't one of Sakura's reverse psychology at making me think you guys are telling the truth so that I'd dismiss going to see for myself, when I know I'm right and you guys are all phonies. But you see, I am Ino Yamanaka and I will not be swayed by such tales!"

"Ino-"

[sigh] "Sakura, just let it go. We can't hide it much longer."

"WHAT?!"

"HA! I KNEW IT- YOU CAN'T HIDE ANYTHING FROM ME!"

"Sasuke!"

"Teme, is that true?!"

"OH MY GOSH, I GOT TO GO AND-" [Ino leaves in a poof smoke]

[Moment of awkward silence]

[Sakura breaks silence] "What the hell was that? Why did you say that?"

"Let her believe what she wants to believe."

"But it's not true!"

"Ah, yet."

"Sasuke, I won't be made a fool of especially with this girl being the gossiper of the town. Do you know what she- wait, yet? What do you mean by 'yet'?"

"Wait, so teme, you and Sakura chan haven't done it yet?"

"Does she have a fan on her back?"

[Sakura gapes]

[Naruto expresses surprise] "So, wait, does this mean that I beat you to losing my virginity first?!"

"TMI, NARUTO!"

[Smiles smugly] "Don't worry, Sakura chan, your turn will be up soon."

"Oh, my god! I cannot believe we're talking about this!"

"Ah. We're taking our time."

[Sakura turns to Sasuke] "Sasuke, what you said before… at the hospital, you really meant it?"

"Ah. I wouldn't have pushed your limits if I were gay, now would I, Sa-ku-ra?"

"So, you knew I didn't appoint a fan to nurse you through your check up and you were just teasing me?"

"Hnnn- ah."

"Wow, that's really what happened? But Teme said- OOF!"

"Dope."

"Anyway, Naruto, what was it you wanted to tell me that you couldn't outside?"

"Oh, um…"

[Next day, Ino confronts Naruto]

"So, the 'whole secret thing' was you asking Sakura over for dinner?"

"Yeah. What'd you think my intentions were?"

"Oh… Ha-ha-ha…ha." [Ino laughs sheepishly] "You know, sexual deprivation does things to you. You gotta start somewhere."