A.N.: Hello again! Here's the next chapter. I'm not really sure where this is going, I just write what comes to my mind. Sorry that it took a few days for me to upload, but I'm kind of busy. I think the next chapter will be uploaded on Friday or Saturday. Have fun reading :D
Disclaimer: I forgot that the last times but of course I don't own Glee or anything that has to do something with it :(
Chapter 3
I'm feeling horrible. My life is horrible. But every time the razor touches my skin Brittany's face appears in my mind and I am not able to do it, to do anything. I don't know if I should blame her or thank her. She makes me stay in a place I never wanted to be again. I should hate her, right? But I can't. I feel a little smile coming from my lips as I think of her. I would do anything to get to know her, but I don't think that she would want to do anything with me when she sees what a mess I am, and I couldn't blame her for that. So there isn't a point in staying for her, my head tells me. But my heart whispers that there's always a chance. Like in a trance I pack the razor away. When I come in my room I see that it's shortly after midnight. I lay down in my bed but there's no chance that I'm able to sleep now. I need to feel something. I look at the razor on my nightstand. I don't feel the urge to end me. Not this time. But I want to feel less pain. Otherwise I break down. I sigh with relief when I feel the razor cuts my skin. The moment when the blood drips on the floor it's like a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders. But that's only a moment. After a few second it's all coming back to me. But I feel a little better than before.
In the morning I have a little problem with getting up, I'm so tired. But the thought of seeing Brittany again makes everything better. After I managed somehow to get up and to get myself ready I pull into the driveway of the school. Brittany is already standing at the front door of the school obviously waiting for me. I smile. No one ever did something like that for me. I know that sounds weird but I never really had friends. When I was younger my dad kept me away from every other child and well I think I never learned to trust somebody. But with Brittany, I don't know, it's like we knew us forever. I wave at her while walking to her. I suddenly realize that I waved with the arm where my scars are. I quickly draw down the sleeve of my jacket. Hopefully she didn't see them.
"Hey. Did you wait for me?" I ask like a dork, of course she did.
" Hi, yeah I did. We have first period together so I thought it would be nice." I smile.
"Thank you. Let's go to the locker, I need my book." I start to walk away, but she hesitates.
"Why don't you come?" I ask afraid of the answer.
"Santana... I-I saw your arm..." Shit, she saw it. I want to tell her but it's all too much for me, at least now.
"It's nothing, just a little scratch. No need to worry."
I try to reassure her, but it seems like it doesn't work. She's still starring at me with a more than worried look.
"It didn't look like nothing, San. What's going here?" She asks almost a little bit demanding.
I look down.
" Look at me, San." I do as I was told, but when I look in her beautiful blue eyes and see all the worry in them I can't lie to her.
" Can we talk? I mean somewhere alone, you know?" I ask without knowing what I'm doing.
"Sure. We'll skip class and go to the auditorium. There's certainly nobody in there at this time."