3/Alex
I spent the rest of the day avoiding Amanda and Sean and pretty much anybody really. I oversaw several classes with Birkhoff and when nothing more was said about the Everwood operation I headed home.
It took me almost fifteen minutes to get out of the rabbit warren that was Division and into the car park. I waited until I was safely locked inside my car before I let out a heavy breath that I felt I had been holding all day. I let my head drop back against the headrest and counted slowly to ten before I shoved the key into the ignition, revved the engine and reversed out of my spot without even looking in my mirrors. I shoved the car into first gear and moved towards the pressure lift which would take me above ground. While I waited for the doors to slide shut and the lift to whir into life I allowed my thoughts to drift away from work.
Something had shifted between me and Sean. I'd felt something growing between us even before the mission at the club, but I had sworn nothing could come of it due to our line of work. We weren't allowed to let anyone close, and I was very aware of the consequences of emotional attachment to others. So I had held Sean and everybody else at arms-length. The only person I had ever opened up to after my parents had been murdered and my life changed forever was Nikita, and it hadn't been easy learning to trust another.
I had kissed Sean during the days after the Division side mission. I had broken every rule I had ever set myself and crossed a line that Division itself had drawn. At the time it was totally right and true, something we both needed. It had been the release we had both pined for after the building tension that had grown between us, and the only way I could think to erase Sean's mounting guilt over my run in with drugs. But after I had gone through withdrawal with Amanda and finally moved back into my own apartment, I had realised what a mistake I had made. I had given Sean the signal that I was romantically interested in him. I couldn't deny that I was attracted to him in more ways than appearance, something ran between us like electricity, but I couldn't act upon that attraction. The night I returned home, I threw up my walls and bolted my emotional door. It was the only way I could keep us safe. Division did not have a good outlook on relationships. Nikita had learned that the hard way, but I wasn't as strong as she was.
Then there was Nathan. My neighbour from across the hallway. When I had first moved into my apartment he had knocked on my door and offered me his friendship, asking for nothing in return. He was handsome and dangerously normal. Without Percy or Michael or Amanda breathing down my neck and reminding me of Division's rules I had truly believed that I had my freedom back, and had gladly accepted Nathan's kindness. His kindness turned into attraction and that led to one step further. He had truly cared about me, and I had reciprocated. We had spent one night together and in the morning I had cried. Not because I regretted my involvement with Nathan, but because of the harsh reality that we would never be able to spend our days together. I had asked him to leave, and we hadn't spoken properly or seen one another since. It was for the best, but I couldn't help but feel the guilt which nibbled at my conscience. He deserved better.
The mechanical groan came to a halt and I blinked in the sunlight outside. I kicked the engine into life and reversed down the hidden dirt track with one arm braced on the back of the passenger's seat. With a jerk of the steering wheel I spun the car around to face home and stomped on the gas. I needed to put as much distance between me and Division as I could. I felt red hot hatred for the system which kept my hands bound behind my back and blinked tears of frustration away. I needed to accept the fact that I couldn't have a normal relationship with somebody without putting them in unspeakable danger. My hands shook as I gripped the wheel and knocked the car up a gear. Just as I ran a stop sign my mobile chirped in my pocket. I forced myself back to reality, blew out a shaky sigh and slowed to just over the speed limit. Keeping my eyes on the empty road, I reached for my phone and flicked the screen into life. It was a text from a blocked number which I knew to be Michael. The message said nothing but a single address. I knew Rockstreet was a block just several away from mine which was mostly taken up with rundown warehouses and boarded up shops, a place not unusual for our meetings. It was a neighbourhood where drug deals were concealed and the homeless set fires out of sight. The roads were busier where I was now and pedestrians rushed to and fro wherever I looked. I eased the car past the block I lived on. Michael didn't need a reply; he knew I'd be there. I stuffed the phone back into my pocket and took a turn which would lead me to Rockstreet.
I parked the car outside the address written in the text and stared up at the warehouse. Eight out of ten of the windows were smashed or void of glass, and the other two were boarded up with planks of wood splashed with graffiti. I rolled my eyes at the choice of location before swinging out of the car and locking up. I checked each door twice and headed towards a side entrance. Sure enough there was a door hanging open, banging against the dirty black outside wall in the wind. Without thinking, I touched a hand to my gun which was tucked neatly into my specially tailored jacket inside pocket. Reassured that it was there, I ducked inside and walked as far as I could before I was in total blackness. The abandoned storeroom in which I stood had no windows to let in the fading sunlight, so my only light source was that which spilled through the door. I could make out several boxes, an empty sleeping bag, a dirty saucepan and several discarded wrappers from crisps and other food packets. The set up reminded me of a darker time in my life when I used to live under bridges and in doorways, feeding my addiction before myself.
"Alex," a reassuringly familiar voice travelled out from the corner of the large empty room and I spun around to face Nikita. I couldn't help the smile which sprung to my face as I hurried towards her and threw my arms around her. In the weeks after my withdrawal and recovery I had had little contact with Nikita. I knew she had been there and was part of the reason I was recovered from the underbelly of the club on the operation. And Division knew it too. They weren't happy about her involvement; they never were.
"It's good to see you," I sighed as she ran her hands over my cheeks and down my arms. She was smiling at me, but I could see there was something wrong even in the dim light. I tugged her hand and moved us into the stream of light from the door. I stifled a gasp when I saw her bruised face.
"What happened?" I swallowed noisily and touched gentle fingers to the purple bruise which bloomed under her left eye. She flinched slightly and closed her eyes. Now I knew why she had chosen such a dark and secluded spot to meet. She had intended for our conversation to be in the pitch black. I studied the rest of her injuries, making out several deep slashes in her cheeks which had been hastily stitched up, a painful looking split lip and a smaller cut under her right eye. It wasn't like Nikita to look so worn.
"We ran into some Division trouble a few nights ago. They cornered us in a car park and one guy beat the hell out of me in front of Michael. He was left untouched," she explained.
"Why? How?" I mumbled, still assessing the damage.
"There were about seven of them, five men and two women, all hooded and masked. There were no active missions at the time so we weren't on guard like we should have been, but they got Michael first. One of the women was asking us for directions when Michael was knocked out from behind. I tried to fight off the one guy, but two others sprung on me and I was overpowered. The girl who asked for directions was strong. Two guys held me while two held Michael. Then another laid into me pretty good and the two women had a good go. Before they left they told me that Amanda was still looking for me, and that I was in deep trouble if I kept trying to fight them. They left me pretty beat up, but Michael managed to patch me up okay," at the mention of his name her eyes glazed happily, but she shook herself back to reality and continued, "what I need to find out firstly is why they didn't kill me or take me in to Amanda alive. Secondly, I need to find out who the bastards are and then I'm going to find them. " Something dangerous glittered in her eyes and a bad feeling was creeping up my spine.
"Is that why you arranged to meet me here today?" I asked.
"Partly. I didn't want you to see me this way: broken," she said, but her voice was undefeated.
"Where is Michael?"
"He won't leave our base… He's ashamed that he couldn't save me. I've told him he's the only reason I'm still going strong, but he won't accept. I think he's just sulking," she grinned, and a wave of familiarity swept over me. I'd been through something similar with Sean when I'd seen his guilt over what happened to me eating him up.
"So what do you need me to do?" I asked, pushing the memory to the back of my mind.
"This has to be a private order from Amanda. It isn't Division's style as a whole. She keeps a log of every operation, side mission, undercover op, clean up, extraction- everything that goes on. If she ordered it, there's a record of it. I need you to find it, find out why, find out who and report back. I've never known Amanda to be so personal, so I'll have to get personal back. Do you think you can do that?" she asked, her eyes burning with something I couldn't quite place.
"Sure," I nodded, "go… home, wherever that is, and get some rest." I added, turning to leave.
"I will. Oh and Alex, be careful out there. Amanda is always up to something, don't mistake her for someone you can trust," she smiled sadly. She was speaking from experience, the wisdom in her voice heavy and ominous.
"Never," I replied. Our eyes met with quiet understanding before I turned away and headed outside. The sun was beginning to set and the daylight was fading fast. I ducked into my car and didn't wait to watch Nikita leave safely before I peeled out of the alley and onto the main road.