DISCLAIMER—I do not own Harry Potter, Marvel, or any of the characters therein. Nor, sadly, do I earn any money from the posting of this fanfiction.

Howdy! Hope everyone is doing well on this bright new day. With any luck, your beginning of the week is going swimmingly. Here's the next chapter. Enjoy!

Heads up for cursing ahead. Turns out you can't have a pissed off Wolverine or annoyed Hermione and Deadpool, in my opinion, without dropping the F-bomb a few times. Go figure.

Please read and review.

…

The X-Men

Ororo was enjoying the sunny weather when she heard it. The fight sounded as if it were two younger students, but this turned out to be far from the case.

"No, I do not want to play tag with you," the woman said, her British tones edged with aggravation.

"Why not!" Deadpool whined.

"You cheat!"

"So do you!" he snapped back.

"Blocking bullets isn't cheating," she told him. "That's self-preservation, as not all of us can heal like you do."

"Yeah, but you still think it's the coolest thing ever," he replied.

"Of course it is, but that isn't the point," she told him. "We are at a school. And unlike either of us, not everyone here can take being hexed or shot and bounce back to say, 'Okay! My turn!'"

They both sighed and muttered together, "Innocent fucking bystanders."

"When did Logan say he was going to be finished with whatever it is he's doing?" Wade asked the petite woman.

"A half an hour ago," she muttered. "I'm getting bored."

"Me too!" He turned towards her and asked, "Tag?"

"No that still wouldn't be wise," she told him. "I say we test the security of the mansion. It's for the wellbeing of everyone here that we can see how good it is."

"Have I ever told you that I like the way you think?"

"Yes, usually after I suggest going out for beer and chimichangas."

"That just makes you smart with good taste," he replied.

"You know if we're just testing the security that will get dull quickly. I say we make a game of it."

"I love games! It won't have too many rules will it?"

"You'd never remember them and we're doing this for fun," she told him. "Let's see how many teachers we can paintball tag on our way to…hmm, I don't know. How about the medical area for the X-Men?"

"Works for me!"

Before Ororo knew what was happening, she had been hit by a paintball from the woman's paintball gun. Looking down at her white shirt to see the paint that was spattered there in shock. It hadn't hurt, which was odd, as she was sure that she had heard the children complaining about how the paintballs hurt when they hit you. But before she could even look up, the paint seemed to turn translucent.

"How…odd," she breathed.

…

"Make a hole!" Everyone in the hall, went to either side as a petite woman slid through the crowd and managed to tag both Jean Grey and Scott Summers on her way through.

Both teachers went running after her only to have her completely vanish as they did so. Both were cursing, as they looked down at themselves.

"I thought they would hurt more," Jean said to her fiancée.

"They do," he muttered. "That's why I refuse to go for another paintball weekend with the students again, remember…What the hell…?"

The paint on both of them went translucent in that next second.

"We need to go speak to Professor Xavier," Jean told him and the two of them went running off.

…

When Jean and Scott arrived to Charles Xavier's office, they found that they weren't alone in this mass confusion. Rogue, Beast, Iceman, Wolverine, and Gambit were all there and every single one of them were covered from head to toe in paint from a paintball gun. The next person through the door was Ororo and she looked just as pristine as Jean and Scott.

Jean looked at her and asked, "A woman shot you with a paintball pellet and both the paint as well as the woman vanished?"

"Exactly," she answered. "What is going on here?"

"Goddamn Wade fuckin' Wilson that's what's happening!" Logan roared.

"Then who is the woman?" Jean asked and went onto describe the woman.

It was Hank McCoy that asked, "Hermione's here?"

"Are you done with your class yet, Logan?" Everyone looked behind them all to a woman sitting in a chair that hadn't been there before.

Everyone there looked over to Wolverine who was now growling, "What the hell were you thinking letting the paintballs fly like that?"

"Allow me to point out three important issues—one, you wanted to meet here with Deadpool. You even set the time. He didn't do that. You did. Two, when we arrived, you were supposedly running late. I say supposedly running late, as what was delaying you was a set class in self-defense. Schools run on a time table, Logan. All of them do, whether they be regular schools or not. They're like German train schedules that way."

Logan only grunted at that.

"And this is where it all went so wrong—three, you didn't even give him a coloring book or papers and crayons to keep him occupied." She went over to him and patted his shoulder. "I get it. You're the worst father figure on the planet. And that's okay, as I'm not your progeny and I'm no one to judge. But Wade thinks a game of tag should involve .9 mm bullets at the very least. You're lucky I was around to divert him away from the game of tag he was determined to play." Looking at the four paint spattered people in front of her, she looked back where she had been sitting. "Excellent composition! It looks exactly like that painting you showed me." She pulled out a paper bag from her pocket and held it out to him. "You win!"

"Thanks, Sweet Cheeks!" Deadpool said, jumping up to his feet from behind the chair and joining her in front of the four, taking the bag from her. "I knew you'd appreciate it."

"Work well done should always be appreciated. It's a pity about the minor injuries though," she murmured, pulling out a box of cigars and handed them over to Logan. "I know the campus is smoke free, but when Bucky and I were over in Cuba, I thought that would be a lovely gift."

"Thanks," he muttered. "But why give it to me now?"

She beamed with joy, saying, "Bucky will be here any minute now to pick me up." Hermione looked over to Deadpool. "That's if H.Y.D.R.A. doesn't try being the pains that they can be again."

"Those bastards have no respect for a date night," Deadpool commiserated with her.

"Exactly…" Hermione's eyes went flinty, as she turned to look at the man behind the desk. "Rude much?"

The older man blushed. "Pardon me. You seem to have a fortress around your mind."

"Yes, I do," she answered. "Don't do that!" Her eyes snapped over to Jean, whose eyes were now wide. "Mind reading is a privilege given to you by those whom you read, not because you can do so in the first place!"

Jean blushed but said nothing.

"It's good to finally meet you in person, sir," Hermione said, looking back over to Professor X. "One thing before I have to leave."

She went over to Professor Xavier, leaned down and whispered something to him that had him chuckling. "I'll think that over."

"Great!" She stood up straight. "James is here! Date night!" Going over to Wade, she kissed his cloth covered cheek. "See you later, big guy. Are we still on for chimichangas and karaoke next week?"

"You know it!" he told her. "Have fun on your date!"

"Thanks!" And she popped out of the room.

It wasn't until they heard her exclaiming, "Bucky!" That they rushed over to the windows to see who was there.

To say that most of them were shocked to see the Winter Soldier was there was an understatement.

"They're just the cutest couple ever," Deadpool said, and even went so far as to sigh like a lovelorn teen girl.

Shaking his head, Logan went over to him and said, "Come on. Let's get this job over with and afterwards, you get to clean up the mess you made."

"I didn't make a mess! I made art!" Wade insisted.

"Well, the art you made all over the school is a goddamn mess," was the last thing the people in the room heard of the two.

"Excuse me for asking, but what did the woman say to you?" Scott was the one to inquire.

Chuckling, he said, "She suggested that in the future if we were going to have Mr. Wilson here at the mansion to have several activities available for him to do in order to keep him entertained and away from games like tag."

"What's wrong with a game of tag?" Jean asked.

"Tag!" Followed by a loud bang of a .9 mm gun, as he proceeded to shoot Wolverine in the ass. "You're it!"

"Goddamn it, Deadpool! Not here! It's a fucking school!"

"Oh," came from several of them there. Suddenly paintball seemed like such a better alternative than tag to all of those there in the room.

…

And that's another one-shot fired off into the internet. Hope that you're enjoying the ride, because I know I am. Thanks for reading and I hope that you're all having an extraordinary day.