Chapter 3: "I'm not Going Anywhere"

Makoto's P.O.V

"Mako-chan~!" someone called me.

"Nagisa-kun?" I replied.

Nagisa came in the class, with Rei.

"uuh, you're still alone, aren't you?" asked Nagisa while taking a seat in front of me.

"yeah, I am," I faked my smile.

"so...Haruka-senpai hasn't come to school at all?" asked Rei.

"yeah, he even locked his house," I answered.

"is it Rin-chan...?" asked Nagisa again.

"I think so," I answered.

I didn't really want to answer that question. Rin, Rin, Rin, always him. Rin did this and that, Haru will get the impact. It's obvious that Haru will be depressed after Rin's death, but this is way too much, even Rin's family has recovered from it.

"Haru always...gets some impact..." I mumbled.

"Mako-chan?" Nagisa tilted his head.

"eh, no no." I tried to cover it.

I don't hate Rin, I don't. I just don't like the way everything Rin did impact Haru in some ways. When it's like that, I'm just gonna be some kind of...a caretaker. Though I've always been one; 'cause I take care of Haru everyday. But in those days Haru's a teenager, not a baby, and in these days like this one, he's gonna be a baby. Real baby. He's depressed and when he sees me, he's gonna jump to me and cries, while I...am hurting inside.

But again, it's Haru, so I have to forgive it all. I have to. Because I...

"Makoto-senpai?" Rei tapped my right shoulder.

"eh yes?!" I was spacing out, and now surprised.

"don't you have some other friends?" asked Rei.

"well yeah I do. Just...not close," I answered.

I'm not really interested in making more friends than I already have. It's just that...my hands are already full of them, Haru, Nagisa, Rin, Gou and now, Rei and Nitori-kun too. But that doesn't mean I don't have any other friends. I still talk to our classmates, just not as much as I do with these people in my little circle of friends.

"Mako-chan~ the bell rang, we've gotta go back to our class, and Mako-chan!" Nagisa suddenly yelled.

"yes?!" I was surprised again.

"this is the first period, be happy! Come on, you can't be unhappy from the start of the day!" Nagisa patted my head.

"uh..yeah. Thanks."

Then Nagisa and Rei went out of the class the same time the teacher came in.

"okay students, we're gonna start homeroom. First, I'm gonna call your name, please reply or I'll make sure to mark you absent," said the teacher while opening a book.

He started to call names. No one really paid attention to him, they were all busy with whatever they were doing. After a while...

"Nanase Haruka," said the teacher.

"Nanase Haruka," he said again, looking through our faces one by one.

No reply, obviously.

"Tachibana-kun," he called me.

"yes sir?" I replied.

"where is Nanase-kun?" he asked.

"at home...sir," I answered, looking down.

"could you please ask him to come to school after today? He hasn't come for the past two months. I'm afraid he's going to repeat this year if he continues behaving like this." asked the teacher, concerned.

"yes sir. I'll try."

But I wonder if I can really do that, I'm not Rin after all.

Then the teacher went out and said it's self-study time.

"Tachibana-kun," someone called me.

"yes?"I asked.

It was a girl.

"do you know why Nanase-kun's been at home?" asked that girl.

This is why I don't really talk much with them. They only ask about Haru, again and again. If not, they'll tell me something absurd then thanks me, but I didn't do anything, just listened to them. Really.

"no," I simply answered.

"but you're the closest one to him," said that girl again.

"but that doesn't mean I do know everything, right?" I smiled.

"but Nanase-san said, 'Makoto knows everything. You can't have secrets in front of him. But he's the best of keeping secrets!' that," she explained.

"oh...is that so..." now I know why they've been telling me weird stuff about themselves. So those were meant to be secrets. But I didn't even know he's been communicating with others while I wasn't there.

"yeah. That's why I'm asking you," said that girl again while smiling and tapping my table.

"well, let's just say that...this is something personal, okay?"

"okay," the girl looked confused.

"and that you don't have to know about this. Because Haru will not be happy if you...I suppose your friends were asking you to ask me this," I looked at the group of girls that's been looking at us for some time.

"yeah..."

"just let them know that Haru will not be happy if he knows that you and them know. And the least they could do is to pray for his safety and well-being," I smiled at the end, sincerely. Ironically, that's what I'm doing right now too.

"okay! Thanks," then the girl dashed off.

I too am worried about Haru. I seriously have to go to his house again.

"Mako-chan~!"

"ah, Nagisa. What are you doing this late?" I asked, turning my head to Nagisa.

It's way past home time. I had duty and being ordered to do this and that.

"Rei just finished his duty~ and I'm going to his house to study~" Nagisa explained.

"wow, how fun," I said, faking my smile.

"yeah, Makoto-senpai. And Nagisa here was begging me to take you with us," said Rei that popped out of nowhere.

"oh, Rei-kun."

"yeah Mako-chan! come with us! You can teach us stuff we don't know! And then...my grades will go higher than ever!" said Nagisa, punching the air up.

I looked at Rei that just sighed at how Nagisa behaved.

"now, now, Nagisa," I said, starting my denial.

"hum?" Nagisa looked at me brightly.

"I don't want to disturb you couple's quality time together," I looked at Rei.

"and I too feel that 'teaching you stuff you don't know' is Rei's duty," still looking at Rei. He blushed.

"and I have Haru to take care of. So I can't go," I concluded my denial.

"eeeeeeeh?" Nagisa looked really disappointed.

"right then you guys. I'm going. Be happy," I went off.

"th- thank you, Makoto-senpai!" Rei bowed to me.

"eeeeh Rei? Why are you thanking him?" Nagisa tilted his head all the way to Rei's bowing head.

"nothing!" then Rei turned aroung.

"ah! I get it! Rei's a naughty naughty boy~!" Nagisa tickled Rei.

It seemed that that little devil in disguise was teasing Rei.

"no no that's not..!"

"what was I on about anyway~ humm?"

And then they were not heard by me again. Maybe because of the distance, maybe because of my thoughts.

Haru's still depressed, despites the family has fully recovered. Gou's been coming to school for the past some days too. Is Haru's depression because of Rin only?

Or did it open old wounds?

What wounds?

Wounds of losing his parents?

But we were all there and he got fully recovered in no time at all.

Did they confess to each other on the phone that day?

Or did Rin wanted to meet Haru because he wanted to confess?

Or maybe they confessed, so what were they going to do?

Were they planning on running away somewhere that'll accept them for who they were?

This is the only place.

Have they thought about their future together?

Is it bright?

Or is it not?

Maybe then Haru will register to Rin's family record and get adopted.

And then when they're adults...

Maybe they'll adopt cute kids to be their children.

Maybe Rin's death was too sudden for Haru.

They were talking on the phone seconds before the crash happened after all.

But that doesn't give Haru any excuses.

Even the mum recovered already.

Is it the pain of losing someone loved?

Or is it the regret of having something unfulfilled?

Maybe they had promises they didn't fulfill?

Oh please Haru, you have promised me a thing too!

And that thing is...the thing I've been holding onto.

The thing that...have supported me all this time I'm with you.

'hey Makoto.'

"I seriously miss that voice...the voice that called me...that way."

Or maybe...he's starting to use 'if' and 'what if'.

Haru has to come to school. If not, he'll get dropped out from school. Where will he go to school afterwads?

I arrived in front of Haru's house.

With all my guts, I knock.

Knock knock knock.

"Haru," I called him.

Haru didn't answer. I guess he still is depressed.

Knock knock knock.

"Haru," I called him again.

No answer. Maybe he still needs some time...

Just then, the door was open.

Grakk.

Haru opened his front door. He surprised me with how he looked; Messy hair, red eyes and big eye bags.

"Haru?! What happened?!" I grabbed Haru's shoulders.

"why are you so...' I grabbed his t-shirt up to see his body. "thin?!"

"Ma...koto.." said Haru.

"ye- yeah? Oh wait; let's get you to the bed first. You need to rest!" I piggy back him to the bedroom.

"Makoto...Makoto..." Haru kept on calling my name trying to get my attention to him.

"yes yes just a second," I opened the door and what I found was a really messy room full of his stuff everywhere.

I put Haru down and searched for his futon. Then I laid it down and carried Haru there.

I sit beside him, facing him and asked him, "now Haru, answer me. Did you eat.?" he shook his head.

"at all?" I asked him again and he shook his head again.

"Haru you can't be like this. Let me make you something to eat, what do you want?" I stood up and took off my school tux and tie.

Haru tugged me, "no Makoto..."

I turned around while folding my long sleeves, "what is it? Do you want mackerel? If you want it I'll buy it..." Haru tugged me harshly and I fell.

"o...ow ow ow...Haru..." I said, patting my head that got smacked by the floor.

"Makoto..." Haru furrowed his eyebrows.

"uuh...what is it Haru?" maybe Haru wanted something else than mackerel.

"Makoto don't go...don't..." Haru cried.

"don't go? But you need to eat, Haru," I said.

"...Makoto...Makoto doesn't need to go anywhere..."

"but you need to eat, Haru."

"no Makoto is not allowed to go..."

"I'll just get them from my house, then."

"no..."

"it's near here. You know that."

"no...!"

"I'll be just a minute okay?"

"Makoto can't go! Not allowed to leave me!" he yelled, then he coughed.

"okay, okay calm down Haru..." I put my right hand on his left cheek. He was trembling.

"don't go..." he tilted his head to my right hand.

"okay...I'm not going anywhere."

hi guys it's me...

I was gonna make this chapter has more feels but somehow can't...it just won't fit.

actually, that was why I made this chapter with Makoto's P.O.V, to get more feels.

I think the first chapter was way longer than the second or this one but that's because I didn't expect this story to have more chapters..

oh and, I think I made a mistake in...I don't know which but I think I wrote "Nanase-senpai" then "Haruka-senpai" said by the same person. if you see it, please tell me..

and sorry for any typos.

thank you.

- Nakaness