DISCLAIMER: I do not own Dragon Age, damn it!

A/N: This is yet another fill on the delicious Dragon Age Kink Meme LJ.

Chapter Three.

The Landsmeet. Neria wanted to vomit on Loghain Mac Tir, freeze him into an icicle and then incinerate him until all that was left of the traitorous bastard was cinder and dust. Of course, she knew it was never going to happen but Maker she could hope. She hated being in Denerim, like Alistair and Wynne had predicted. Lelianna was thriving at being back in a city after so many months away from the hustle and bustle of civilization and it was partly due to the Orleasian and Zevran that Neria hadn't lost her temper multiple times.

For the Landsmeet, Leliana had persuaded Neria to purchase new mage robes and together, the two women had spent a day finding and choosing the fabric colors and then had the new robes made and inscribed for protection and defense. She was still surprised that she had managed to spend the day like she had with Leliana in that she had been busy building her case against Loghain and gaining the support of the Fereldan nobility by showing the convicting evidence of Loghain's and the late Rendon How's machinations. The depravity that the Arl of Amarathine had reached before they had managed to stop him had sickened Neria and now, those crimes had to be recounted before those present at the Landsmeet, along with the decision of Loghain's fate...if it should come into question. Neria had promised the elders of the Denerim Alienage that she would prosecute Loghain for his schemes with the elves who resided there and by the Maker wouldn't she make the man pay for selling her kin for a price.

Suddenly infuriated, Neria pulled her new robes and picked up her staff before storming out of her quarters and colliding with a body that stopped her from falling as she rounded the corner. Neria struggled for a moment before recognizing the touch of the hands on her shoulders and she relaxed slightly; still feeling highly strung and angry for what she was forced to do to satisfy protocol.

"Are you ready?"

Alistair asked Neria and she nodded once curtly before wrenching herself away from his grip and continuing onto her original destination. Not only did the reality of the past weeks seem to be sinking in, but something had changed between herself and Alistair and she didn't like it. He had become harder and more relentless and had taken to distancing himself from Neria and the others. Zevran had asked Neria if something had happened for Alistair to be acting the way he did and Neria could only think that it had to be do with his sister and her blatant rejection of his wanting to be involved in her life.

After that, the alliance with Queen Anora had been made: that Alistair would step forward with his legitimate claim to the throne and would rule with Anora in an arranged marriage that would see Feraldan with a Therein on the throne with a queen that the people adored. Neria didn't quite understand Alistair's purpose in distancing himself from everyone, though she knew that he had taken to visiting with the Queen frequently the agreements had been made. This knowledge hurt Neria and since then, Neria hadn't spoken with Alistair nor had Alistair spoken to her.

"Neria; I need to say something to you"

Alistair was following after her, as they navigated through the halls. Neria didn't care what Alistair had to say to her at the moment; she wanted vengeance- for Duncan, for her kin who suffered in Denerim, for herself and Alistair being alienated as Grey Wardens and it overwhelmed Neria to find that she had never hated anyone as much as she hated Loghain. She continued to storm her way through the halls until they came to a barricaded door that was guarded by Loghain's men...and woman.

"Let us pass."

Neria told Ser Cauthrien coldly. She had an itch to scratch with that woman and she knew that if she scratched, it would end in the two women fighting a fight that wouldn't end prettily. Mostly, Neria hoped it would end in Cauthrien being a permanent fixture to the floor or perhaps even the ceiling but she knew it was a fruitless want.

The knight in question looked at the elf-warden and then her companion warily before letting them pass were Neria spotted her other companions and Eamon. The nobles stood scattered throughout the two levels of the hall as an issue was debated. The ones that Neria were familiar with acknowledged her arrival with a nod before returning their attention to the speaker. Neria waited as the nobility of Feraldan debated until Eamon stepped forward and addressed the subject that the purpose of the Landsmeet had been called for.

Like Neria had anticipated, there was an immediate cry of outrage from those supporting the man. She waited, betraying no emotion until she was called forward with evidence to address her claims. Before taking her place to speak to the assembly, she looked back at Alistair hoping that he would give her encouragement and when she saw his attention diverted elsewhere, namely to Anora; it was Oghren and Lelianna who offered the gestures of encouragement that she wanted. Feeling somewhat broken, Neria locked away her growing case of nerves and began to address the meet, with Loghain objecting to each of her claims and rallying those to support him and condemn her. From her peripheral, she watched Anora's reaction as the meet began to grow volatile. Nearing the end of her claims, she accused Loghain of the slaving of elves, too which the entire Landsmeet reacted with an uproar.

"Prepoisterous, Warden. You harbour ill will against me and mine. Do not forget, assembly that this Grey Warden, murdered Rendon Howe"

Loghain sneered to Neria who raised an eyebrow in reply, refusing to let loose her anger that was boiling over the edges and causing her to want to scream out at Loghain everything that she felt, to scream at him until he too felt her pain. Loghain however lost his confidence when Neria presented the papers that she had...acquired in the alienage amongst other papers to support her claims.

As the assembly began to discuss the papers that Neria had introduced, the elf warden and Loghain entered into a staring contest of sorts as a suppressing silence covered the room. Then the call came that a decision had been made and Neria looked over at Alistair one more time and saw him standing beside the Queen. Sighing once, she turned her back on the man she thought she could count on and looked once more to where Oghren and Leliana stood and was cheered at the expression of intense boredom that the dwarf wore and knew that if it was the Assembly in Orzammar at least three skirmishes would have already broken out.

"Is the Landsmeet ready to vote on the allegations against Teyrn Loghain by Grey Warden Surana?"

Eamon called out to the nobility of Feraldan and as the Feraldan Banns began to call out ther decision, Neria decided that she never wanted to do this ever again and began to pray to the Maker earnestly in her head. The shouts that came confused Neria as to what was happening so she back away from where she stood as she tried to get a grip on what was happening. After that, everything seemed to happen all at once and next thing she knew, she saw Zevran squaring off Loghain with his daggers drawn, clearly dueling him on her behalf due to her beginner abilities at using a blade that wasn't a dagger for the purposes of crafting only. Neria watched, sickened and amazed at how the Antivan fought for her life, when he had once sought to take it away from her. Hardly bearing to watch, Neria turned away from the duel and stared at the tapestry that was directly behind her, listening to the clashing of metal until there was silence once more.

"I surrender to the Warden"

Loghain's declaration pierced the silence and Neria without thought named the fate of the depraved human in front of her: death. Looking square at Loghain, she stepped forward to administer the killing blow herself, she raised her staff and was about to bring in to the floor when a hand on her shoulder- Alistair's hand, stopped her.

"Allow me"

His voice was hard and full of suppressed anger and Neria stopped her movements towards Loghain and allowed Alistair to execute the traitor. Breathing hard, Neria waited for the guards to take the body away and the Landsmeet moved onto the next agenda- a King for Feraldan. Despite the loss of her father, Anora stepped forward and announced their arrangement and as Eamon had predicted the assembly was unanimous with the proposal. Suddenly feeling exhausted, Neria left the room; no longer needed nor wanting to be there. Now, there was the Arch Demon left to defeat and Neria was itching for the final battle to come.

As Riordan revealed the true purpose of a the Grey Wardens to Neria and Alistair, she felt her blood run cold and more than ever, she wished that things with Alistair weren't like they are, that he would accept the love she wanted to give him and as the elf dwelt on that thought, she came to the decision that if anyone should sacrifice themselves, it should be her. Neria was an elf and a mage; before she had become a Grey Warden, she had been trapped in the Circle clinging onto a perverted idea that she could have live a life that ended with a happy ending. She nodded to Riordin and left the room, intending to sit by herself and dwell some more on the revelations made; but was stopped by Alistair grabbing hold of her arm

"I want to talk to you"

Considering they hadn't traded words since the Landsmeet. Neria was too surprised to decline and allowed him to lead her into the deserted library that looked over the village of Redcliff. Watching Alistair pace as he gathered his thoughts, Neria stood dejectedly and waited before breaking the stifling silence.

"I will kill the Arch-Demon tomorrow."

Alistair whirled around and looked long at the elf in front of him as he wondered who had decided who would sacrifice themselves to end the Blight and his determination relented. But when he saw the defeat and stress in the elf's eyes, Alistair was steadfast and determined on his decision and he he looked square at Neria

"This relationship that we have cannot continue. You are an elf and a mage- you wouldn't be allowed to be at court when I am King, even if I were to decree you an advisor. It would be tasking for you and you don't know the first thing country matters. Anora understands things that you do not Neria, I have come to know this after getting to know her. I want to live to change Feraldan for the better- to undo the damage that Loghain has done and to rebuild the Grey Wardens. Would I be able to do that with you by my side? I don't think I could"

As he spoke, Neria began to cry at his harsh and uncaring words and hardly bearing to hear as he continued to try and explain, she turned and walked away from the man that, it seemed to her had never loved her. She had nothing to say neither to him nor to anyone as she concentrated on not thinking. She was forced to hide her sadness when Morrigan intercepted her and Neria forced herself to concentrate as Morrigan presented a solution to prevent any of the Wardens from dying- for a child to be conceived that would accept the soul of the Arch-Demon when it was slain and Neria agreed, suddenly determined to make something of herself after this was over to prove that despite her heritage, she could be someone in the world.

Pushing her sadness aside, Neria stormed into Alistair's room and told him what he had to do after her conversation with Morrigan. As she had anticipated, Alistair was adamant to lay with the Witch of the Wilds and conceive a child and Neria's powers flared up at his denial and her furious anger and Alistair sensed that it would take more than his Templar powers to stop her when she was emotional as she was. Forced with his decision, Alistair reluctantly agreed to go to Morrigan and Neria stormed from his room and into her own. When she was safely inside of her quarters did she burst into furious tears as she tried to grapple everything that had just happened.

As she mulled over Alistair's reasons for ending their relationship, she pulled out her storybook and opened it to where she had pressed his gift to her and how his words had been filled with affection. As she remembered back, she resigned herself to knowing that it had all been a lie and reading the page where the rose sat, she remembered the realization she had had when she was fifteen that had ended in her flooding a whole level- that she would never have her prince charming find her, that she would never have a happy ever after. Letting out a scream of rage, she yelled at the book in Elvish and threw it at the wall. She darted over to it and picked the old, tattered book up and cradled it against her chest hoping it would heal that emptiness that she found inside of her. When it didn't, she screamed again and threw the book once more, afterwards picking it up and looking at the flattened rose that had fallen from the pages. Picking it up, she yelled at it as she crushed it in her hand, smothering her hopes and dreams once more before picking up the table and hurling it as hard as she could at the wall with her free hand.

"Neria!"

Wynne called out to the despairing mage through the door and Neria didn't want to see the older woman. She continued the slow destruction of her room, screaming and crying in her mother tongue- crying out for her mother and to the Maker to end her suffering and pain, as the end table finally shattered against the stone wall, she was so distracted that she didn't notice the door opening and then she felt something hit her and Neria crumpled to the floor, unconscious from Wynne's spell. Only when Wynne nodded, did Zevran come into the room and hoisted the sleeping mage into her bed.

"He broke her heart, didn't he?"

Wynne asked the Antivan quietly when Neria curled up into a ball and continued to cry, even in her magic induced sleep. Zevran didn't answer, engrossed as he flicked through the book and saw his friend's hopes and dreams written in the pages alongside the corresponding story, the script showing him that she had possessed the book since a young age. Shutting the book, he placed it on the bedside table and leant Neria's staff beside it.

"Yes, her heart is breaking if it isn't already broken"

Wynne didn't know what to do or what to say at the seriousness of Zevran's statement. Zevran removed his boots and the light armor that he wore and climbed into the bed beside Neria and adjusted her so she lay in his lap. With a sigh, Wynne left the young mage with Zevran whilst she went to continue preparations for the battle which was mere hours away. As she walked to the meeting room to speak with Eamon, she saw Alistair emerge from Morrigan's room, his eyes red and swollen and knew that things would never be the same again after the Arch-Demon is slain.