I wanted to start here, no this isn't going to be a death fic, but I wanted to start where there is almost nothing left to lose, primarily because well you can't understand the light until you understand the darkness. This is from both points of view.
Here's your happy moment. I will do one more chapter and probably be done. I hope you enjoy this.
Disclaimers apply: Song this time? UMMMM 'Help me remember' and 'Forever' by Rascal Flatts and 'Don't make me' by blake shelton
Callie headed down to her car and drove to Arizona's house. She took a deep breath before she stepped out into the rainy night and walked up the stairs to Arizona's door. She smiled as she heard the radio blaring and Arizona singing. Reaching down she unzipped her knee highs and took them off and then taking a breath she opened the door. Gently creeping into the house she smiled and leaned in the door jam, but as the words of the song began to hit her heart she quickly leaned out and listened to her lover passionately sing, hearing the tears in her voice.
"I know that you're leaving as soon as the sun comes through the window. There's no talking this over, the damage is done. There's just to much hurt, to much to forgive, oo but we both know we weren't always like this."
Callie chanced a peek at Arizona and saw her leaning heavily against the black marble countertop as she began to sing. It broke Callie's heart to see the grief covering her features.
" Help me remember the way that we used to be, when nothing else mattered, because you were loving me. Just for the night, one last time, one more good memory, when I look back that's what I want to see. Oh baby help me remember. Those days that were so good, those nights that we held on forever, when we weren't pretenders, we were as real as we felt. Oh I don't want to fight anymore, I don't want the last thing I hear tonight to be a slamming door, Oh baby let it be like it was before….. nothing else mattered because you were loving me.. Help me remember."
The song came to a close and Callie watched Arizona crumble into a thousand pieces leaning against the counter as sobs racked her lithe frame. Callie couldn't take it anymore, tears streaming down her own face she walked into the kitchen and turning Arizona around she pulled her into her arms soothing her, rocking her back and forth as they both cried, cried for the times lost, the hurts sustained, the loss of their seeming love.
Arizona felt herself enfolded in the strong scent that was calliope Torres, the smell of leather and a spicy tangy smell that was uniquely her. The tears continued to flow as she heard the sound of Callie's heartbeat. For a moment Arizona let herself indulge, hearing Callie whisper gentle words of comfort to her, her fists holding tightly to the back of Callie's shirt as she fell apart. Then after a moment reality came crashing back and she shoved Callie hard away from her.
"NO, NO Calliope you don't get to see me like this." Seeing the hurt flash across her face Arizona continued. "Why did I have to sacrifice something so precious for you? Why weren't my dreams something we could do together or at least stay somewhat together for? Why did you have to go the manhoar and have a baby. Granted I love that tiny human, but I wanted that to be me Calliope! I wanted to have a baby with you and hear you swear MY name as you had her! I wanted to be the one that raised her with you, I want to sneak around with you and tell you to be quiet in the bedroom lest you wake her. I want it to be Calliope. I wanted that! That was my right. Goddammit Calliope why were my dreams the sacrifice I would have had to have let go of in order to keep you. Why wasn't I enough for you and why can't you forgive me for that? I came back! You walked away from me! So help me remember Calliope help me remember! I've never stopped loving you! You ruined me for the rest of the world. I can't love anyone else, I can't have sex with anyone else. You're all I think about, all I cry about. Why couldn't I have forever? It wasn't long enough. WHY?"
Callie saw the anger course through her soulmate and leaned up against the counter listening knowing this was meant to come out for awhile. After a moment as she listened Arizona froze and seeming to realize what she had just said dashed out of the kitchen and headed straight for the front door. Callie sighed turned off the stove and quickly followed her, trusting her long legs to keep up with the amorous blond. The rain pounded down around them as Callie called out to Arizona, but the wind seemed to be against them, Callie followed Arizona as her legs pushed her hard into the night and finally out of breath at a park overlooking the city, one of their parks Arizona stopped and collapsed on her knees in the park tears streaming down her face as she buried her head in her hands. Callie approached at a slower rate the rain pouring down her face. Gently kneeling in front of Arizona she reached down and captured her chin bringing the baby blue eyes to her own. For a moment they just stared at one another in silence then Callie bent her head and claimed Arizona's lips in a kiss. Arizona whimpered as the soft lips came in contact with her own. It had been so long, so many hours, days, months, years had passed as she dreamed of those lips, of that body, of the love that Calliope alone gave her. Reaching out she pulled Callie into a standing position and wrapped her arms around Callie's neck kissing her with all she had. Her tongue sought entrance and Callie granted it moaning soflty as she felt Arizona take back her mind, her heart and her body. With one simple kiss Arizona laid claim to all that Callie was. After moment as the rain poured down both of their faces they broke apart resting their foreheads together, neither willing to break the contact. Arizona licked her lips sighing happily inwardly at the tangy taste of Callie's lips. She closed her eyes, her dimples showing as she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and took a deep breath. Looking up at Callie she whispered softly.
"Baby I love you. I don't want to lose you. Please Calliope don't make me let you go, it took a long time for me to find you, don't make me let you go. I'm begging you Calliope, You can call me weak desperate, a hoar whatever you need to say, but don't make me stop loving you."
Callie noticed the shiver that ran through Arizona and taking off her leather jacket (that was pretty damn wet itself) she draped it across Arizona's shoulders and put an arm around her.
"Come on, we have a lot to talk about, plus now after our rain run I am hungry as hell."
Arizona laughed and taking a small amount of hope that they would at least talk. Callie slipped her fingers and entertwined them with Arizona's as she brought her hand up. They wlaked back to Arizona's house, the one she had bought to share with Callie. Heading straight back to the bedroom she pulled out a pair of pajamas for herself and a pair she had stolen from Callie. She bought them to her face and inhaled. They didn't smell like her anymore but after tonight they would. Sighing, she walked back out to the living room handing them to Callie. Callie smirked softly, and met the blue eyes with a look of wonder.
"You kept these?"
Arizona shrugged and looked at the floor.
"They made me feel close to you when I was in Malawi and since then."
Callie sobered and smiled at her softly. Arizona pointed to the bedroom.
"I'll use the guestroom, go ahead and go change."
Callie nodded and walked into the bedroom and slipped out of her wet clothes and into the warm comfy clothes Arizona gave her. Looking over at the nightstand she saw a picture of them they had taken on one of their mini vacation weekends and the picture of her she had gotten professionally done for Arizona along with a series of photos they had done in a photobooth together. Tears began to fill her eyes as she remembered those moments. Reaching out and picking up the pictureframe, she brushed her fingers over Arizona's smiling face.
"Oh Zona, You sure made your mark baby. It wasn't long enough we were just getting started. You left, it wasn't long enough together, but it was long enough baby that it will last forever. I've been cheated, defeated, and I you were gone."
A voice interrupted her from the doorway.
"I came back Calliope, I came back for you. Please baby, give us another chance, give us a chance to fall in love again." She walked over to the bed and knelt down next to Callie. "I love you."
Callie smiled and reached out gently caressing her face sadness filling her brown eyes.
"I love you to Ari. Come on we need to talk."
Two hot buttered rums, some kitchen teasing and an order for pizza later found the two girls on the couch facing each other. Callie began to speak softly.
"Lao Tzu once said that Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich. Arizona, after you left I spent a lot of time getting to know myself, after the smoking, the drinking binge, the fighting binge and the anger area I started taking long walks and really discovering myself. And what I found.." Her voice dropped as she looked into her hot buttered rum. her eyes began to well with tears and she almost choked out the next words. "What I found was someone who wasn't enough. I was so damn selfish Arizona, No maybe I wasn't supposed to go maybe I was, I don't know, but what I do know is I could have handled it so much better. I could have supported you, instead of cut you down with my passive aggressive bullshit. I've spent the better part of the last few years dealing with myself. " Scooting closer to Arizona she reached out gently taking the chin in her hand and running her thumb along the jawline. "I wasn't expecting you, you know. I wasn't excepting you to come sweeping in my life and make me fall in love with you hook line and sinker, body, soul and heart. Hell after Erica I thought I would be a one night stander for the rest of my life, and then you came into that bathroom and kissed me senseless. As adults we spend our whole lifes looking for happily ever after, we cry during romantic movies, and sometimes during kids movies. We go to Disneyland to capture the magic and wonder that we once had as kids, that one moment when all the world is perfect. You came into my life Arizona Robbins and you became my happily ever after, every moment I spent, still spend with you is a magical moment. You smile, and my world is sunny, you cry and the world feels like its over, you laugh baby and its amazing. I Every moment I spent with you was what I had searched for all my life. You were the magic that I remembered from Disneyland when I was a kid, and that was all shattered when you walked away. I wanted to give you the world, I would sacrifice anything, even myself for you, but I still have to be me. I get it and I admit my guilt in it but I can't forgive myself for the lack of a person I was. I wish I could go back and change it and even if we weren't together in Malawi, I wish I could change the spoiled brat that I was. You shouldn't have had to sacrifice your dreams for me and I forced that. I'm so sorry Arizona."
Tears streamed down both of their faces. Arizona moved closer and cuddled into Callie.
"We both could have handled it better Callie, we both could have handled it better. I know I hurt you Callie, I see it everytime I look at you. I know I don't deserve this but will you give me another chance? Please Calliope give me another shot at being your happily ever after. "
Callie worried her bottom lip inbetween her teeth and looked down at the woman she loved.
"On one condition."
Arizona raised an eyebrow.
"Which is?"
"Marry me."
Arizona sat in shock for a moment and then nodded soflty.
"Yes Calliope, I will marry you."
Callie smiled her 1000 watt grin and in one move removed her cup from her hands and straddled her. Then gently smirking at Arizona's physical response she kissed her gently at first, but moaned when the hands reached out and squeezed her butt pulling her closer. They broke apart a moment later both of them panting. Callie smiled and opened her eyes slowly to see the blue. She spoke softly.
"Tonight Arizona, marry me tonight. We can book a flight to Boston, take time off, con Addie and mark into coming and being our witnesses then take Sophia home, and we can take a mini honeymoon. We both have weeks of time off, I swear Richard has kicked both of us out of the hospital more times than we can count. Marry me tonight Arizona."
Arizona laughed loving her Calliope's spontaneous reaction and gently starting to get up she nodded
"Ill book the flights, call Teddy and Addy, and Mark. Our parents. Have a wedding dress in mind?"
Callie grinned and squealed in delight, but before she got off Arizona she kissed her soflty.
" I love you Arizona Robbins Torress."
Arizona smiled closing her eyes at the name.
"I love you to Calliope Robbins Torress, now come on we have a wedding to plan."