Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece. I'm not that good.

Warning: Intended OOC-ness (to play of the humorous aspect)

Pairings: ZoroxRobin

Author's Note: Gorgonzola cheese as a midnight snack may have been a mistake.

Thank you for the reviews for the first chapter! Please enjoy this third one.

"So what do we do about this?" Nami asked the rest of their nakama, excluding Zoro who was still knocked out and being tended by Chopper in the kitchen floor, and Robin who they still haven't remembered as being in a wild animal trap.

"Throw the marimo overboard" Sanji said, lighting his cigar, with Nami hitting him upside the head.

"No" she said.

"Maybe we should just have Zoro-san see some of Robin-san's panties?" Brook suggested, at the same time imagining he was Zoro and Robin was doing more than just showing panties. "Oh if I had a nose, it would be bleeding by now! Yohohoho!" Earning him a harder smack from Nami.

"No" She said, a bit louder.

"Maybe Zoro caught a disease?" Usopp added, rubbing his chin. This caused a bit of panic over Chopper, with the doctor saying "But he's been having his regular check-ups!"

"No" She whacked Usopp and Chopper on the head, albeit the tiny doctor received a far less painful blow.

"Let's invite Jinbe and Rayleigh and Shakky and Traf-guy and Aoikiji!" Luffy said, laughing. Also earning him a bump in the head, an addition to the many bumps Sanji delivered just a few minutes ago.

"No!" She was shouting by now.

"Maybe Zoro-bro got his brain wobbled during the fight four days ago?" Franky suggested, adjusting his sunglasses.

Nami was about to hit him upside his head, when she realized something "That's actually pretty logical." She turned to Chopper, who was checking on Zoro's wounds from the fight with Mihawk (fortunately none of them reopened) "Check the numbskull's skull."

Chopper shook his head "I've been observing Zoro's recovery from head to foot, and have compiled several x-rays regarding his skull and other body parts. Four days ago, up until now, shows no significant damage, only the healing progress. If it was mental problems" Chopper sat down on the floor "He would have to be awake for me to make an assessment."

The probability of Zoro being insane was quite a good thought for all of them. Because that would explain such strange behaviors.

"But" Luffy said "What if he isn't insane?"

They all looked at their captain.

"What do you mean?" Sanji finally asked, glaring at Luffy. The cook was still mad that he had taken the opportunity to half their food supplies when everyone else was busy protecting Robin-chwan's honor.

Luffy shrugged "What if he wasn't insane. I've been visiting him at the infirmary for the past days, he seemed normal."

Of course, Luffy was right. All of them has had the chance to congratulate and converse with Zoro during his recovery period, and all of them, in remembering what kind of conversation they had, concluded that Zoro was still the same old Zoro.

Except now, he's demanding that he marry Robin.

A sudden moan came from the swordsman, and they all peered at him. He was waking up.

"Franky, Usopp" Nami said, and instantly the two of them tied Zoro up with thick heavy chains, and relieved him of his swords.

"As much as we don't want to think Zoro's gone crazy, we'll still have Chopper draw the conclusion." Nami whispered to the group.

"Wait!" Chopper said, going into heavy point. He hoisted Zoro, who was still barely awake and coherent, on his shoulder "Doctor-patient privilege must be upheld in all psychological evaluations!"

"Eh?" Luffy asked, cocking his head to the side.

"But Chopper" Sanji started, but Chopper cut him off.

"I'm still the doctor here." he said, with determination in his eyes.

"It'll be fine, Sanji-kun" Nami said, patting his shoulder "Chopper is on our side here."

Sanji, who promptly melted into a wiggling noodle of love fawned over Nami's sexy touch, and Chopper took the opportunity to take the tightly chain bound Zoro to the infirmary.

Two hours passed, in uncharacteristic silence. The only sounds are the tinkering of Franky's tools as he made adjustments to his arm, Brook tuning his violin, and Luffy's snoring. Usopp was staring nervously at his nakama, especially at Nami, who had a hardened face and was polishing her climatac, and Sanji, who remained behind the counter, on his fifth cigarette. Both their eyes were shadowed with some form of anger, and it made the sniper very, very nervous.

Finally, the door opened, and Chopper walked in. He was carrying with a clip board.

"He's sane." the doctor said softly, flipping the pages over and over again. "No matter what test I conduct, Zoro comes up as sane." He looked at them seriously "All he wants to do is marry Robin."

"Are you sure Chopper?" It was Sanji, who decided it was time for a sixth cigarette.

"Positive." The doctor affirmed with a solemn nod.

"We'll need someone to watch them" Usopp suddenly said "He might do something stupid."

"He's resting in the infirmary, I gave him a sleeping pill, told him it was vitamins." Chopper said with a blush.

"I'll keep first watch" Sanji said, exiting the kitchen. Somehow, he felt a big need to protect Robin, even if it meant spending time with Zoro. He would not let an uncultured swordsman like him take advantage of someone as delicate as his Robin-chwan.

"So what do we do about this?" Nami asked exasperatedly.

"Namiiiii." Luffy whined.

Nami glared at him "What?"

Luffy showed her a book "It's Robin's. I accidentally grabbed it earlier when Zoro was trying to kill me."

Nami looked at the cover, and smiled, a sort of dark aura emanating from her. And with that, they started to formulate a plan.

The plan was called The Swordsman Must Save the Princess, as coined by Nami and Franky (insert dramatic guitar tune).

"Yosh!" Luffy said excitedly "This is going to be fun!"

"We must make sure that Robin is helpless" Nami said, pointing to Robin in the diagram. She had Usopp draw on a whiteboard, that Franky built within a minute, a large tower. In that tower was Robin, and across the board was Zoro. In between them were a series of other characters that the rest of the straw hats would act as. "We need to incapacitate her and make sure she won't be able to help Zoro, or to free herself."

"That won't be a super problem girlie!" Franky said, with his pose "Usopp-bro and I have the perfect thing for that, referring to the Kairoseki handcuffs they had (A/N: Let's pretend that exposure to the Kairoseki isn't totally draining. Remember in Ennis lobby?).

"Perfect" Nami grinned.

"So in our plan we need Robin to be a damsel in distress and for Zoro to save her?" Usopp said, writing down notes.

Nami nodded "That way, he can see if he really loves Robin and that this marriage thing isn't just some form of egotistic arrogance."

"So we kidnap Robin," Chopper said, a bit too enthusiastically "And have Zoro go through a series of serious tasks to save her, just like a prince charming!"

Nami smiled at their doctor. He really was a child. "Exactly" she said, patting his head.

"Ah Nami-san" Brook suddenly said.

"I will not show you my panties!"

"As much as I still would like to see them, wouldn't this plan need a certain archaeologist?"

Panic stricken faces suddenly remembered that a certain Robin, who was to play their princess in distress, was still trapped in a box.

Thoughts? Reactions?