Thanks again to everyone who read and reviewed, I'm glad people are enjoying the story! I worked on it all day because I won't have as much time this week, and I know I get impatient for updates on other people's stuff :) So, it looks like this will end up being 6 or 7 chapters, and this is the angsty thought-filled chapter. It might be a little too heavy-handed but I wanted to show Casey repeatedly analyzing the situation, as I think Casey would do. Also, there are two uses of profanity, and I do not own Heather Nova's "Fool for You." Ok, hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 3

The rest of the afternoon went well. It took Casey a little while to get the hang of shooting and passing the puck, but Derek had to admit that when she wanted to do something, she was as determined as he was. And when she learned something, she made sure it was perfect. Derek thought sadly that he had never found a girl who could get so fired up about things, so completely dedicated and passionate. Most of the girls he dated were easy catches, dumb and cute; they went where he wanted to go, did what he wanted to do, and spent the next week waiting in giggling anticipation of when he would deign to speak to them again. Casey never waited for him, never gave into him, and always called him on his bullshit. He loved it.

But I don't love Casey, he thought. I can't, that is just a lot more trouble than it's worth. Even as he thought the words, he wasn't sure he quite believed them. If a girl like Casey wasn't worth throwing his life into complete chaos, what was? But he knew he couldn't think that way, and he told himself that it didn't matter how he felt because Casey only saw him as an annoying stepbrother who she needed to help her for awhile. Anyway, Derek Venturi does Not fall in love, especially not with girls as smart and serious as Casey McDonald, he reminded himself. And Casey McDonald doesn't fall in love with screw-ups like me. The feelings would go away, he told himself for the hundredth time. They had to.

When they got home, Casey jumped in the shower, playing the radio while she scrubbed her hair. A song by Heather Nova had come on that sometimes made her secretly, shamefully, think of Derek:

You came into my life, I don't think that you meant to
You were standing in a doorway I was trying to walk through
Like an angel or the devil, I could never quite say
It doesn't matter anyway

Cuz, oh, I'm a fool for you
I'm a fool for you
Open my heart and let the wind blow through
Cuz I'm a fool for you

Well you can tell me anything and honey, I'll believe
Cuz when you keep me hanging it only feeds the dream
I'm never going to reach you - you're a distant shore
But you've still got me coming back for more

She shook the thoughts away for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. She was being a masochist, she berated herself. Why did she think this would be a good idea, all it did was bring her further and further into this realm of thought that she was supposed to be escaping, but she couldn't help it. She needed to be near him, she needed to look for every little sign that Derek thought of her only as a prissy goody-two-shoes who could help him keep his car. She was nothing like the girls Derek usually went out with, and he would never want her. She wasn't experienced like they were, she didn't walk around looking hot in Babe Raider outfits all the time, and in all fairness, she was nowhere near as popular as Derek. And Derek¸ she thought, is nothing like who I pictured myself with. He's not sweet or sensitive, he doesn't even pick his towel up off the floor! Even though he was really helpful today … Ah, this is ridiculous! She scrubbed herself harder, trying to wash it all away. He's Derek, the guy who drives me crazy every day, the guy who makes fun of everything I do! Derek - my stepbrother. Talk about trouble. She really was acting like a fool, even entertaining these thoughts.

Later, after Derek resisted for a few minutes, trying to watch TV instead, Casey got him to sit down with her and his algebra homework. This was mainly accomplished by Casey standing with her arms crossed in front of the television and refusing to move. She explained algebraic equations and how to solve for "x" and was surprised to see how quickly Derek picked up on everything. Derek was surprised too, seeing how entranced he was with her leaning so close to him over the book, and how he could smell the soft strawberry scent of her shampoo.

"Derek, you're really good at this stuff," she said proudly, looking at him with slight wonder. "What's the problem?"

"I don't know, I guess I'm just never really motivated to do it. This is probably the third time I've even looked at this textbook." He saw Casey's face fall a little and realized how much he'd liked seeing her proud of him. It made him feel like he was worthy of her for a moment.

"Besides," he cleared his throat, "it's a lot nicer watching you explain things than Mrs. Retchnik," he said, referring to his aesthetically-impaired math teacher,

Casey blushed in spite of herself. "Well, that's not saying much, but thanks. Really, Derek, you're doing great. You see what happens when you –"

Derek cut her off, "Please, Case, please don't use the words 'apply yourself.' I may have to be sick if you do."

Casey laughed. Derek smiled, enjoying the light musical sound of her laughter, so different from the ingratiating giggling of the girls he had dated. He loved when he could make her laugh, as opposed to when his jokes just made her angry. Actually, come to think of it, he kind of liked being the cause of both. He liked stirring her emotions, seeing her reactions to him, imagining what would happen the day he decided to tell her…

Tell her what? He stopped himself. Don't even finish that sentence, because that day will never come. We have to live together, and I'm not giving up my rule of the house by walking around being rejected and mocked.

Casey was flipping through the textbook, moving on to another topic he would have to review for the next exam. "Ok, now quadratic equations are when…"

"Actually, Case, how about we break for tonight?" he interrupted. "I mean, it's Saturday night and my homework for Monday is done. We have some time to review." He looked at her hopefully.

"But Derek, this is only math, we still have other…"

"C'mon, Casey, it's only been a day, we have tons of time." He saw Casey hesitate. She was thinking that he must have a date, and she didn't want to have to give him up now to watch him make out with some Barbie doll. This had been one of the best days she'd spent in awhile, and it frightened her how she didn't want it to end. "Please?" Derek asked again, pushing out his bottom lip to give her a puppy-dog face.

Casey smiled again and Derek's eyes shone. "Why, do you have somewhere you need to be?" she asked cautiously, averting her eyes and pretending to arrange the pencils on the table so he wouldn't see that she cared.

"Actually," Derek drew in a breath, both willing the words to come out and at the same time trying painfully to hold them back, "I was thinking we could go get a burger or something. I didn't have any plans tonight." That wasn't entirely true; he had actually called Sam to cancel their movie plans while Casey was in the shower. Derek hadn't really felt like seeing his best friend, knowing he'd have to talk about what was going on with him and Casey. Something in him didn't want to explain it to Sam, it was almost like a little secret pleasure he wanted to keep to himself. He didn't want to have to be "cool Derek" tonight and pretend he hated spending time with his stepsister. He wished it were true.

There were a million thoughts scattered around Casey's mind. Would he ditch her at the burger place as soon as he saw his friends or a cute girl? Would he ignore her and say, "Oh, this is just Casey, my uptight stepsister"? Did she really want to watch girls fawn all over him? It was enough that she had to see Emily do it all the time. Would this all be over once he got what he wanted, just like all the other times? Shouldn't she just stay away? Shouldn't she just stay in and read and remind herself about all the problems this would cause, how much it would hurt her when she started falling deeper in --

"Sounds great," she heard herself say. Damn it.