Chapter 3

The next morning before breakfast Harry went to go retrieve the mail from the front door.

"Bill, bill, bill...that fat larded foo aka sista of biggins..." Harry sorted through the mail and found a letter addressed to him. "This letter if for me...wow this is the shiznit."

Mr. Harry Potter

The Cupboard Under the Stairs

Little Whinging, LN 75864

Harry walked back into the kitchen still staring at this mysterious letter. He handed the other letters to Uncle Vernon and walked over to his seat at the table. Dudley who's piggy little eyes were following Harry watched as Harry was about to open his letter when he jumped up and snatched the letter out of his hands.

"HEY! That's mine hater!"

"For you foo'? Who would write to your sorry cracker ass?" Uncle Vernon responded. He turned the letter over and stared at the back and then turned it over again looking up at his wife with terrified eyes.

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For the rest of the week Harry continued to have letters arriving. Uncle Vernon continued to either rip them up or burn them in the fireplace. At last it was Sunday.

"Ah off the chain day...Sunday...do you know why Dudley?" Uncle Vernon asked.

Dudley shrugged his shoulders and Harry answered.

"Because there's no mail on Sunday I'm sho'."

"Fo sho' Harry Fo sho'. No mail today that's fo sh-" Uncle Vernon was cut off my a letter flying in from the fireplace.

"What tha?" questioned Uncle Vernon.

Letters had just started flying from the chimney and through the mail slot in which Uncle Vernon had nailed a piece of wood to the slot closing it shut. Letters came through from every direction possible flying and hitting Uncle Vernon in the face or frightening Dudley.

Harry, who had been enjoying all of this, jumped up and down trying to catch a letter. Finally he snatched one out of the air and was taking off towards his cupboard.

"OH NO YOU DON'T FOOL! STOP!" Uncle Vernon yelled running after Harry.

Harry was just inches from his cupboard. Uncle Vernon grabbed him. Harry who was still getting showered by the letters yelled.

"STOP IT! THEY'RE MY LETTERS HOMES! "

"THAT'S IT! WE'RE GOING AWAY! "Uncle Vernon bellowed above the rain of letters and Harry screaming." FAR AWAY! WHERE NO PIMP CAN FIND US!"

" Daddy's trippin mad isn't he?" Dudley asked.