Conquests of an Accidental Stud-Monkey II:
A Complicated Bloodline
Chapter 3
"So, then, was Anya not one of your ancestors, after all?" Asuna asked, mildly befuddled.
"I didn't say that," Kozue replied. "What I said was that she and Negi didn't have a sexual encounter then. The circumstances can change everything, which is why, in a world where Negi ultimately went back to Wales in a sad defeat and eventually married Anya, you get Chao Linsheng, and in this world where none of that happened, you get me, and in still another where things were different yet again, you get ... well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Where was I again?"
Asuna looked less than satisfied with that reply, but she answered the question with patience all the same. "Someone called Karin was coming to Mahora."
"Oh yes. She's still around, by the way, though she didn't come to this party. It might be better to call on her so that she could tell this part, more accurately than I could."
"No delays, please."
"Pushy child!" There was more humor than complaint in the exclamation. "Very well."
The ground shook with the sound of the impact. Misora, who had just settled down to pray for the evening, lifted her head and stared at her room's window, darkened now with earth thrown up rather than the night. Before she could even think about it, she was running with the intent of going towards the impact site.
Wait, thought her conscious mind, currently not in control of her feet. I'm going where? Shouldn't I be going in the other direction? Any other direction?
It was no good, though. During her trip to the magical world, something had woken up in her, a flame that her recent experiences - both in talking with Asuna and other conversation - had continued to fan. And now, when she perceived danger, more often than not she found herself running towards it to see if she could help, her coward heart protesting all the way and to no avail.
The source of the noise appeared to be a small impact crater in the church's empty parking lot. There wasn't really enough time for Misora to get a good look at the crater, as she was distracted by the sight of the girl in ragged clothing walking away from it.
"Kugimiya?" Misora gasped, horrified.
The girl noticed her, and spoke, sounding nothing like Misora's classmate. "I'm sorry, what?" Not only were their voices different, but this girl spoke Japanese with a faint but unfamiliar accent. Other differences in their appearances became apparent at second and later glances.
"Um, no, sorry, I got you mixed up with - never mind that now! Are you all right, did that, that, whatever that was hit you or something?" she asked.
The girl looked back at the crater, then back to Misora with a bland expression. "You could say that it did. However, as you can see, I am quite all right. Perhaps a miracle occurred."
"All right except for your clothes," Misora replied, genuinely disturbed by this girl's 'no big deal' attitude.
Now the girl looked down. "Indeed," she said, considering her rent garment. "It would seem the miracle did not preserve them."
"Well, come on, I'll get you some spare robes," sighed Misora, beckoning towards the church.
The girl's head snapped up, and there was something very strange in her eyes. "That's very generous ... we haven't even been introduced."
"Doesn't matter. 'For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me.'" Misora repeated her beckoning gesture.
When the girl spoke, taking a step towards her, her voice was soft and somehow fragile. "'And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.' The very least," she concluded. "My name is Yuuki Karin."
Bold Beautiful, thought Misora, resisting the impulse to chuckle. "Pleased to meet you. Now can we please get some clothes on you? Weird stuff has been happening around here lately!"
Karin nodded, and followed along. What a nice girl, she thought, hoping that neither this one nor any other innocents would get caught up in her killing of Negi Springfield.
"So that's the situation," Negi concluded, making his last marks on the dry erase board he'd somehow dragged into the dorm room. "We have to travel to the Demon World, or Hell as it is colloquially known, in order to determine Poyo's circumstances and, if necessary, rescue her. Chachamaru and Zazie will be coming, as will Akira, of course. And I hope that each of you will also agree to join this expedition, despite the danger -"
"Are you nuts?" Kotaro asked, eyes wide.
"... I'm assuming that's a rhetorical question, Kotaro-kun," Negi replied, turning to regard him curiously.
"Yeah, damn straight I'm joining!" Kotaro continued as if his question hadn't even been answered, more or less confirming its rhetorical nature. He was grinning now, fangs clearly in evidence. "I know you an' me been on the outs lately, but this makes up for everything, man! The chance to have a knock-down, drag-out, anything-goes, outright brawl with all of demon-dom on their own freaking turf? It's the best gift a guy ever gave his rival! I love you, man! In a totally utterly manly way, of course," he added quickly.
"Well, um, I suppose that I should say thank you for your ... utterly manly feelings, Kotaro-kun, first of all," Negi replied a bit awkwardly. "And I would certainly welcome your thanks for that opportunity, except that ... well ... you're really only invited for Natsumi-san's sake."
"... I'm what?" Kotaro whimpered.
"He's what?" asked Natsumi, seated beside Kotaro on the couch.
"While I'm sure that we won't be able to avoid every fight through the use of Natsumi-san's invisibility aura - and for those we can't, your skills will be critical, Kotaro-kun! - but the focus of our efforts is going to be operating with stealth, not seeking out brawls. I hope you understand."
"My god," whispered Kotaro. "It's all come true. I really am that kid who hangs around with Natsumi! Forget the badass martial artist, forget the supernatural powers, forget the gainful employment, forget the adequate lover -"
"Oh, you're much better than adequate!" Madoka helpfully informed him from where she was sitting on a throw rug with Misa. She then flinched under the death-glare of Natsumi.
Negi decided to ignore this. "Well, Natsumi-san?"
"Well, let me see," said Natsumi, considering carefully. "If I say no, will you really be in a lurch, Negi?"
"It will be difficult to replace your abilities, but I'll find a way to do so," he admitted. "Because I'm not taking you into another crazy situation you never expected, without your permission."
"Uh-huh," she said, noncommittally. "And if I say no, will that mean that a certain someone doesn't even get to fight whichever demons we can't avoid through my invisibility?"
Kotaro had gone very pale and was staring at Natsumi, hands clutched in front of his face in a prayerful manner and whimpering some more.
"That would be right," Negi said, continuing to ignore this.
Natsumi turned to look patiently at Kotaro, who continued to silently beg. Without comment, she lifted one of her feet into her reach, pulled off her sock, and then extended the unsocked foot out parallel to the floor. Then coughed politely.
With a barely a moment's pause, Kotaro dropped to the floor and began giving her a foot massage.
"We'll do it," she said after a pleasant sigh.
"Ohhhkay," said Negi, continue to ignore the domination of his so-called rival on the grounds that, like Kotaro had just said, they were sort of on the outs at the moment. He turned to look at Madoka and Misa. "Everything that I just said about finding alternatives if you don't want to come applies to you as well," he said. "Especially since neither of you have ever gone into a dangerous situation voluntarily before."
"You've never been to our training camps," Misa told him wryly.
"True dat," agreed Madoka. "But Negi, why us in particular?"
"Essentially, the two of you are going to be taking the role that Konoka usually takes, in the support mage position. Misa's cheers allow her to revitalize the magical energy of those who hear them, which is going to be critical over this journey. Madoka's cheers, on the other hand, give a boost to the abilities of allies, enabling them to fight better and hopefully avoid injury that way. In combination with my own minor abilities in magical healing, your powers should allow us to fight, on those occasions when we have to, without fear of crippling injuries, just as we can when Konoka is watching over us. Probably," he added.
"Probably," Misa and Madoka chorused, exchanging glances.
"I will do what I can to find alternatives, and we don't have to do anything if you don't - oh, good grief, now I'm saying it even when it doesn't make any sense," Negi groaned.
"We'll do it," Misa rushed to reassure him. "It gets us out of class, lets us have a little action, wild romance on alien planets, what's not to like?"
"Definitely," agreed Madoka, having glanced briefly at Kotaro's on-going massage of Natsumi's feet when Misa mentioned 'wild romance'. "But I do wonder why Sakurako's not coming along."
"While her luck augmenting powers would be incredibly helpful, and there are indications that there would be a synergistic effect if all three of you were to use your cheers at the same time, it's important to remember that she has a pact with Fate, not me. In order for her abilities to keep working -"
"She should stay here," Madoka and Misa chorused, nodding rapidly.
Negi refrained from smiling. "Mm-hm. I thought you'd say so." With that, he turned to look at the last guest in the room, seated on a cushion she'd brought from her own room.
"Please don't say that I don't have to come with you if I don't want to," said Nodoka. "You know very well that I do want to, and always will."
He felt incredibly uncomfortable as she regarded him calmly.
"Besides," she said, turning to look at Zazie. "I think everyone in the class owes you a debt for your help during the sports festival. This is the least I can do, considering."
"... what help was that?" Negi asked, suddenly suspicious.
"It's useless to dwell on the past," Zazie said placidly.
"Za-"
"Besides, almost all the girls in the class were united in that. Why would I have chosen to be different?" she asked, spreading her hands and looking innocently at the ceiling.
Negi let out an annoyed sigh.
"I do wonder why Yue isn't part of this expedition," Nodoka interjected to change the subject.
"Two reasons," he told her.
"One of which being that any information she might have about the demon world in her book is already known to me," Zazie informed her gently. "In years to come, I suspect that will not be true, that she will learn more about it than I can imagine knowing, but for right now, I am her equal if not her superior in this area."
"And the other ... well, that has to do with the other urgent news I've received today, from the Headmaster. He's received a notice from Ariadne that they're sending a small party to inspect the World Tree and confirm that all is well with it. It wasn't framed as a request to do that, either. They are coming, and matters being what they are -"
"Yue's team is coming to visit," Nodoka finished for him. "I see. She'll need to be here to greet them, and if they found out that she was gone ... they'd probably come looking for her and mess things up."
"To say the least," Negi agreed. "So. This is our army, once Master's guide arrives here, and we let Tsukuyomi-san out of her cell." Please, let it be enough. I'm risking too much already.
"Well, it's a good thing that old school uniform we found fits you," Misora said, hurrying to keep up with Karin's much more brisk walking pace. "I just hope that no one asks you for a student ID or anything."
"Fret not," Karin assured her without a glance in Misora's direction. "Should that transpire, this other gift will answer nicely." With that, she reached back to almost caress the shaft of the long hammer strapped to her back. "I would prefer to have a sword as well, but I suppose it's a bit ridiculous for a church to have a supply of those in this peaceful place and time."
"Yeah about that!" Misora half-shrieked as visions of this girl going completely nuts with a hammer danced through her head. "Um -"
"I will not forget your charity," Karin assured her.
"Great, great, but could you maybe also remember - out-loud, like - the reasons you came here and why you need that hammer so badly?"
Now Karin did turn to look at her, a somewhat puzzled expression on her face, before answering without pausing in her stride across the campus. "Well, I suppose that there's no harm in telling you. I was invited here by an individual whom I have known for some time, who has been ... detained here somewhat against her will." She nodded to herself. Surely the innocent nun would assume that she was talking about another girl who had been sent to this school by parents disregarding the girl's wishes.
"You mean Evangeline, right?" asked the decidedly-less-than-innocent nun.
Karin came to a halt. Had she been another sort of character, she might have momentarily collapsed face first to the ground. All that her dignity would allow her to do, however, was to take the moment that she would have spent rising up to pause and turn to glare slightly at Misora. "You are familiar with her, I take it?" she asked coldly.
"We're in the same class," Misora explained very quickly. "And, I mean, I've heard stories about her, so I know some of the details, but we've never sat down and talked about the whole 'cursed to attend school' thing, and really I'm almost as scared of her as I am of ... well, you get the idea? Right?"
"I see. Ahem. Yes. Evangeline-sama asked me to come here. And given the givens, there can only be one reason that she would do so. Thus, I must prepare myself for battle against her enemy." She patted the head of the hammer to emphasize her point.
"Her ... enemy?" Misora asked.
"Of course," Karin said sternly. "I speak here of Negi Springfield, the recently famous son of her hated captor. His continued existence demonstrates that she has been unable to take from him that essence which would allow her to roam free, and, doubtless after many, many unsuccessful attempts to defeat him by the tinkertoy she was persuaded to employ as a pactio partner, she has finally reached the conclusion that she must call for more competent aid in doing so. Thus, I arranged for myself to be shot here in a cannon from Korea."
Misora had been staring at Karin as she explained all this, eyes wide and mouth agape.
"Was there something you wished to ask?"
"North or South?" Misora managed to squeak out.
Karin blinked. "North or South what?"
"K-K-Korea, I mean, where did you start -"
"Excuse me?" she asked. Then realization settled on her features. "Oh, yes, now that you mention it, that country has been recently divided, hasn't it? I don't pay much attention to politics. The monastery where I was dwelling was in the south of the peninsula, however."
"Oh good," Misora said weakly. "Well, no, not good, but ... um, no, look, maybe you should actually ask Evangeline whether she wants you to fight Negi-kun."
Karin stared at her. "I would much prefer to present her with a fait accompli."
"Yeah, but what I'm trying to suggest is that a beat-up Negi-kun is not the fait she wants you to accompli! She's kind of fond of him in her own weird way, you know?"
And then Karin's eyes narrowed. "Excuse me?" she said icily.
Misora visibly panicked. "Okay, I tried!" she shouted at no one in particular. "Adeat!"
Negi wasn't entirely sure what had happened. All that he had meant to do was to reassure the girls that even though the danger was great, and he was weaker than he had been, he would still do everything in his power to make sure that they all made it home all right. And then, while Kotaro was giving him a disgusted look, all of the girls - even Akira! - had exchanged the strangest smile with each other, and then, as one, they had assured him that they knew he would take care of them. Which was what he'd meant, but wasn't quite what he'd said, and he had been about to point that out ...
... and then things became a little confusing.
Now, of course, they were completely understandable. He was naked and flat on his back on the dorm room floor with an equally naked Nodoka mounted firmly on his face, her vulva and clitoris held tightly against his mouth. Down below Madoka and Misa were giving him a tag-team blowjob, one licking the sides of his phallus and the other taking the head into her mouth, then switching over with much loud sloppy kissing in between. Understandably, he couldn't see exactly who was doing what, but he supposed that the details were perhaps not all that important.
In one direction, he could vaguely see a still half-dressed Natsumi lying back on the couch with her legs held high and spread, letting out sighs and squeals of ecstasy. He suspected that Kotaro had moved from giving her a foot massage to giving her a massage with all eleven fingers in another area.
"Ah!" Natsumi cried. "Yes, lick me there!"
Yep, all eleven fingers.
In the other direction, he could even more vaguely see Akira semi-clad and sitting on one of the chairs with Zazie's arms coming around her waist to caress and pinch at her breasts and down below - or so he assumed, since that was well out of his line of sight. Considering this, Negi found himself feeling unusual jealousy and anxiety, and hoping that Zazie would not use that odd talent of hers on Akira. Which was ridiculous, of course, since if Akira was generous enough to let him ... do all this ... then he should surely be generous in return and let her do anything she liked. But he found himself hoping that she would not like Zazie's talent.
At least such strange thoughts no longer made his head hurt. That was nice.
"Let me," he heard Nodoka saying as she bent forward along the length of his body. "Let me."
The warmth surrounding his hardness pulled back, to be replaced by another warmth.
"Wow," Misa said softly. "Bookstore's got some skills."
The warmth seemed to be moving lower on him.
"Is she going to -" asked Madoka.
Lower, and lower ... and then a pause, and a sudden retreat, and he could hear Nodoka gasping and coughing. And perhaps the word, "Dammit", mixed in with those noises.
"Hey, no, it's okay, that takes practice," Misa assured her. "You're so brave, trying to take it all like that! We'll help, right, Madochii?"
"... I really hate that name."
"Of course right. It's just gonna take some practice, that's all. And you can do practice, right bookstore? Sexy bookstore." And in the distance, there was some different sloppy kissing noises.
"There's just one thing I don't understand," said Asuna, looking across the table at Evangeline rather curiously.
"I already did the 'more than that' bit, didn't I?" Evangeline asked, reflectively.
"Yeah, you did that a while ago," Asuna agreed.
"Probably a few times, actually," Chisame mused without looking up from the menu she was reading.
"I believe that Master is specifically making reference to a time she did that particular 'bit' in response to something Asuna-san said," observed Chachamaru.
"It's a perfectly good bit, I have no problems doing it again," said Eva, and opened her mouth to do just that.
"No, no thank you, no need to do the bit," interjected Asuna. "Anyway, this thing I don't understand -"
"That's your part of the bit!" protested Evangeline.
"- you like girls, right?" the princess continued as though nothing had been said. "I mean, sexually."
Now Chisame lowered the menu and gazed at Evangeline, as did Chachamaru. As it happened, one of the things that Asuna did not understand was that Evangeline's actual sexual preference was to have her head patted and occasionally be held while sleeping. Of the four persons presently gathered around the cafe table, only three were aware of this.
"In as much as I can be said to like anything, sexually, yes, that is true," Evangeline ground out.
Asuna had gained many talents in the last little while. An understanding of subtext was not one of them. "Well, then, what is the big deal between you and this Karin person. If she's in love with you, why not just jump her bones?"
"There are many good and logical reasons for me to avoid doing that, the primary one being that she doesn't want to have her bones jumped," Evangeline answered. "She has something of a madonna-whore complex, which is hilarious, given the givens. Basically, I don't think she so much loves me in that sense as she wants someone to worship and validate her existence, which - which I can't believe I've gotten to the point of discussing with you people!" she abruptly cried, facepalming. "What's wrong with me these days?"
Before anyone could answer that, Misora ran past at hyperspeed, shrieking in panic.
After a moment of consideration, Chachamaru spoke up. "I believe that it is a sign of growing acceptance of your circumstances, Master, and a general indication of maturity. Much like Chisame's lack of reaction to Misora-san's actions, just now."
Chisame made a strangled noise.
Before the discussion could go any further, however, a young woman who bore a remarkable first-glance resemblance to Madoka ran past at a very impressive velocity that wasn't quite hyperspeed ... and slowed to a halt as she turned to gaze at Chachamaru. "Oh," she said, obviously disgusted. "It's you."
Chachamaru politely nodded. "Greetings, Karin-san," she said in a tone which no one who didn't know her well would have recognized as unusually cold.
"Where is she?" Karin asked rudely.
Chisame, who had already blinked in surprise at Chachamaru's cold tone, now looked around in confusion. The number of people seated around the table had abruptly diminished by one.
"I would not care to guess and thus inform you incorrectly," Chachamaru replied. "Perhaps if you were to join us -"
"I do not take tea with the enemy," Karin snapped. "Also, I am busy."
"Busy chasing Misora?" Chisame interjected. "There's a lost cause. What'd you do to her to send her off like that? And -"
"I do not know what Kasuga-san's problem is. We were speaking in perfect amity until she abruptly panicked and ran off. I was chasing her to attempt to determine what the matter was. Not that it is any of your business."
Chisame bristled in response to that, but Karin ignored her in favor of turning back to Chachamaru. "Your associate is correct, however, that doing so is clearly futile, and so I will return to my previous objective. Tell Evangeline-sama, when next you see her, that I will happily deal with her problem once I locate Springfield."
Asuna spoke up. "He's in room 643 of the middle school girl's dormitory."
Karin's head snapped in Asuna's direction. "What? What is a boy doing in a girls' - no, ridiculous question, he must be engaged in some manner of lewd act! Good day," she said, and dashed off in the general direction of the dorms.
"You're welcome," Asuna called after her. And, more quietly, she said, "And you're welcome too!"
"I haven't thanked you yet," said the small person hiding behind her.
Chisame's frown deepened as she turned away from a glance in the direction of Evangeline's place of concealment to Karin's retreating form, which was by that point quite some distance away. "Wait a minute," she said at last. "Didn't you tell me that she was just told that Evangeline needed her help?"
"Yes, that was what Master, who doubtless has a good tactical reason for hiding behind Asuna-san, said to her," replied Chachamaru.
"So, then, Negi's name didn't actually come into it?" Chisame pressed. "Then how come she knows that she has to seek out -"
"Oh, no," Evangeline groaned, facepalming again as she seemed to fold out from behind Asuna.
"Let me guess, she wants to beat Negi up for his and his dad's crimes against you." Asuna asked wearily.
"Not exactly," said Evangeline, still hiding her face. "More like, kill him to avenge my honor. You've got all the rest right, though."
Asuna gaped. "Wow," she said. "And just think, we could have avoided all that if you'd only explained everything when she was just here!"
"Oh get over it, girl who gave out his apartment number."
Someone else who was just here was Chachamaru, who had rapidly departed on hearing the word 'kill', jets flaring behind her as she took to the sky on a heading more or less identical to that of Karin. "Fear not, Negi-sensei! Your assistant will protect you!" drifted down out of the sky.
"Well, you're going to want to stop doing that and get dressed, dumbass. I don't know, sneeze backwards again or something! No, probably not, but do it anyway!" Chisame vocalized as she held her card up to her forehead. Technically, she could have engaged in completely inaudible telepathy, but she had never quite managed the knack of that.
Negi had chosen Chisame as his advisor with a great deal of consideration, and so he naturally decided to follow her advice. However, it was immediately apparent that 'reverse sneeze dress-up' was one of his talents which had disappeared forever once he abandoned Magia Erebea, along with that whole 'absorbing a spell and turning it into armor' thing. He therefore settled for announcing that the party was over and urging everyone to get dressed in a hurry, while doing so himself.
He was just beginning to pull up his trousers when the sound of the dorm room door being smashed open reached his ears. Despite the peril he was in, he sighed in annoyance. Eventually, they were going to have to get the whole structure of the door replaced, and he was fairly sure that the dormitory's insurance didn't cover 'breakage by superhuman entity'.
Such thoughts vanished when a young woman in a Mahora school uniform who bore a marked resemblance to Madoka, carrying a hammer, strode through the entry hallway into plain sight. "I knew it!" she declared as soon as she saw Negi in his still not quite dressed state, to say nothing of the equally semi-clad forms of the young women (and young man) behind him.
"Hello, you must be Karin-san," Negi said politely. "I'm sorry, but you've caught me at a somewhat awkward moment."
Whatever outraged response she was about to make out was drowned out by the sudden gasp from Misa. "Wait, Madoka?! But how can you be over there when you're over here?" she cried out, glancing from the young woman who'd just entered the room to the one who was crouched at her side, pulling a shirt on over her bra.
"That's obviously not me, Misa!" said Madoka, annoyed. "We don't even look that much alike!"
"The heck you don't! And how can I be sure she's not the real Madoka, and you're the imposter?"
Madoka just stared at her.
Karin just stared at the lot of them. "Insanity," she finally declared. "I have stumbled onto a nest of insanity. That's the only reasonable explanation. This must be your doing, Negi Springfield! You have perverted and corrupted the minds of these girls, but all that is at an end! Face judgment eternal, Negi Springfield!" She hefted up her hammer.
"There's really been a huge misunderstanding, here," said Negi, then dodged back out of the way of the first swing. "It's actually getting bigger every moment."
"Halt, Yuuki Karin!" demanded Chachamaru as she burst in through the shattered doorway, weapons at ready. "You shall not be permitted to harm Negi Springfield!"
"Oh, boy," muttered Kotaro, who'd gotten dressed snappily. "This is going to go south so fast."
"What nonsense is this, android?" Karin snapped, whirling so that she had a view of both Chachamaru and Negi. "You claim to be Evangeline-sama's servant, and yet you would protect her enemy?"
"Negi-sensei is not the Master's enemy," Chachamaru retorted. "He is ... he is her love, just as he is mine!"
Absolute silence ensued.
Slowly, Karin's gaze turned away from Chachamaru to regard Negi with unspeakable loathing. "Your suffering will be legendary," she promised him.
"Oh, come now, this is -" Negi started to wearily protest.
And then Akira stood up. "Enough," she said. Very calmly, she walked between Karin and Negi, spread her arms as wide as they could go, and stared right at Karin. "He is my love, too. If you would harm him, you must go through me first."
Karin blinked. "What in God's name -"
Madoka and Misa exchanged a glance, and then, as one, they got up to stand right behind Akira. "Love ... is a strong word," said Madoka.
"But you're going to have to go through us, too, if you want to hurt Negi-kun, Madoka," said Misa.
Madoka's teeth ground together audibly. "That's not me," she repeated irritably.
"So you say."
Zazie, silent as darkness, drifted in behind the two of them, gazing at Karin with a challenging look in her eyes.
Karin stood there for a moment, staring at the human wall separating herself from her target, then turned to glance over her shoulder at Chachamaru and her weapon systems. With an annoyed sigh, she lowered the head of her hammer to the floor. "Insanity," she muttered.
"I can't really argue with that," said Negi, embarrassed by these developments. "But in any event, would you like to know why Evangeline-san actually asked you to come here?"
"Oh, by all means," Karin said sulkily.
Asuna was somewhat surprised to see that the dorm building was still standing when she, Chisame and Eva arrived there, but the absence of large explosions in the distance as they'd walked towards it had sort of prepared her for the notion that it might be. (On the other hand, she knew exactly nothing about this girl who had a crush on Evangeline and looked sort of like Madoka, and the possibility that she might have some sort of silent destruction powers could not be denied, so it was still a little surprising.) There didn't even seem to be any large holes in the building though which someone might have been knocked by a hammer blow.
"Well, everything looks just fine, and so I guess we can ohhh dear, I just remembered that I left the oven on back at my cabin and must dash," Evangeline said as they reached the doorway, and started to turn to walk away.
"Okay, that would be a lot more convincing if I didn't know that Chachamaru does all the cooking and cleaning at your place," replied Asuna, tapping Eva's head with a finger and by subtle pressure turning her back towards the dorm entryway.
"Maybe she left it on?"
"And that would be a lot more convincing if I didn't know Chachamaru period!" Asuna exclaimed. "You're being an embarrassment as my master of evil!"
"Maybe we should go in and see if crazy lady has some sort of stealthy killing powers?" Chisame suggested, reminding Asuna yet again that they were more similar than they were different.
"She doesn't have any -" Evangeline started to snap, then stopped herself, sighed, and added, "Fine, let's go in. Why not?"
"One of these days we're going to have to replace the whole darn doorway," Asuna sighed as the three of them walked in to the suite.
"... and then, once we have secured our objective, we hope to return home safely, through the same means," Negi finished explaining as they arrived to find Karin seated on the couch and all the other members of the Negi Party Hell Edition (Negipa Hed, for short) more or less surrounding her. Chachamaru's weapons were still out. Nodoka stood right behind Karin with a glowing book hovering in front of her.
"Things seem to have worked themselves out, then, in which case I should really be -" Evangeline started to say in a nasal tone that sounded nothing like her regular voice.
Karin's head jerked in her direction. "Evangeline-sama?" she asked.
The characters for Dammit hovered momentarily over Evangeline's head as she realized the futility of trying to hide behind Asuna again. "Hello, Karin. It's been quite some time, hasn't it?"
"It has been fourteen years, five months, and seven days since we last met," Karin agreed, genuflecting before her.
"Sounds about right," Evangeline mused while facepalming.
"And ... the reason you called me," Karin inquired without looking up. "Is it truly the mission this ... person ... has described?"
"Yeah, that is the reason." Eva managed to actually look down at Karin. "What do you think of the boya's plan?"
"It is an absurdity, Evangeline-sama. It is critically deficient when it comes to identifying the parties responsible for the disappearance it is meant to investigate, and relies on the abilities of a group of magically empowered school girls and children rather than the seasoned adult warriors and mages who would stand a more reasonable chance of success." A slight pause. "If you instruct me to accompany them, I will depart whenever they are ready to do so."
"Well, goody for you," Misa interjected. "Who are you, anyway?"
"My name is Yuuki Karin," replied Yuuki Karin.
"Her name is Ist Karin Haute," Nodoka corrected softly.
Asuna sounded out those syllables ... and then got very wide-eyed.
Karin looked at Nodoka in a decidedly unfriendly manner, then glanced at Asuna before continuing. "And I am the second oldest person in this room - a rare experience - and have spent more than twelve centuries in the wilderlands of Hell. While that was some time ago, I doubt things have changed very much there."
"Well, great," Misa replied, less than impressed with this response. "So you're not as old as someone who looks like they're younger than you. Real accomplishment, that," she continued, deliberately not looking in the direction of a certain petite vampire.
"The subtlety with which you try to avoid provoking my wrath is truly breathtaking, Kakizaki," drawled Eva.
"Is this person truly necessary for the success of the endeavor, Evangeline-sama?" Karin asked quietly, looking at Misa in much the way a bird of prey might consider a field mouse.
Before Eva could answer that, Negi smoothly interjected. "Yes," he said firmly. "And not only that, but she is one of my precious students, and Evangeline's dear classmate as well."
A noise that might have been a swallowed laugh came from Evangeline's general direction.
"Very well," said Karin, continuing to regard Misa with a hunter's eye. "In any event, I was not speaking of Evangeline-sama, but of the Princess of Parallel Mars, who is more ancient than I am by far."
"The Princess of -" Misa started to repeat, sounding confused, but broke off midway. "Oh. Asuna. That cra- um, sorry. I don't like to think about that stuff, Asuna. None of it seems really all that real to me."
"I know the feeling," Asuna wryly agreed.
"Kakizaki, I'd hug you if you weren't a shallow nymphomaniac," Chisame told her with utmost sincerity.
"Hey!"
"Well, if you at least weren't shallow, I suppose none of us can complain about nymphomania any more."
"Rude, Hasegawa," Misa retorted.
"What do you mean by that?" Karin asked, eyebrows quivering.
Everyone froze.
"Oh. Her too?" the ancient girl guessed aloud after a moment of consideration. "What a depraved place. How unfortunate that that cad Nagi Springfield chose it as your prison, Evangeline-sama."
Negi bristled but kept silent as Evangeline coughed another restrained laugh. "I can't really argue with that," she said. "But it's not important right now."
"I suppose. As I was about to say after clarifying my earlier statement - Kakizaki, I think it was? - I cannot die. Neither arm nor claw nor spell can end my life. At the very least, with me as a guide, you are guaranteed that at some point, I will be able to return to this place and give an account of your likely painful demise."
"And as I said before - yay for you," Misa retorted.
The corners of Karin's mouth curved slightly. "Heh. I like you. What a pity." She turned to look at Negi, business-like once more. "When do we leave?"
"Tomorrow morning," he answered. "That should give us time to complete all the necessary preparations."
"So be it. I shall await your call at Evangeline-sama's home, which is doubtless in need of a proper cleaning." This said without a glance at Chachamaru, who momentarily pointed one of her larger weapons in Karin's direction, then moved it away with a pantomime exhalation.
Somewhat to her dissatisfaction, Tsukuyomi's prompt and polite agreement to the terms of her parole had not resulted in her immediate release. In as much as she could worry about things - for despite everything, her soul was a fundamentally tranquil place - she found herself somewhat concerned that someone, perhaps the Aoyamas, had thrown up roadblocks against her participation in the mission. It was a genuine concern up until the moment that she heard the cell door being unlocked, and squeaking its noisy way open.
Then Negi poked his head in the open door. "We're not leaving until tomorrow morning," he informed her without preamble. "But I thought you might appreciate a chance to get out, exercise, and sleep in a more comfortable place."
She controlled the urge to roll her eyes at the word 'exercise'. The rest of the offer did appeal, however, and -
... I'm getting stronger ... and you're not ...
- and perhaps some minor sword form practice would not be altogether unwelcome, either. "Thank you, Negi-kun, you remain a very generous soul," she said as she rose up and made her way towards the cell door.
In the small room on the other side, she was sort-of-but-not-really surprised to see Fate standing there waiting. A quip about his presence at Negi's side blossomed in her mind but died unspoken when she saw the third person there, the mind-reading member of Negi's band of comely comrades, standing as far away from Fate as was possible given the size of the room.
For the moment, she focused on noteworthy absences rather than presences. "Where's my dear senpai?" she asked patiently, not really expecting an answer.
"She's washed her hands of this entire affair following her last words to you," Negi explained patiently. "I hope you weren't expecting to have her as a sparring partner or anything like that."
"Alas. But you're right, my expectations are much more minimal than that," Tsukuyomi agreed. "Hello, Fate-kun. How is your love life treating you?"
Fate gazed at her in - dare she think it? - stony silence.
"And this must be ... um," she paused, feigning an attempt to remember the girl's name. While she had forgotten it, it had never really mattered to her and she didn't see any reason that this should change at the moment.
"Miyazaki Nodoka," the girl said, bowing just a tiny bit. "I'm volunteering my room for your dwelling this evening."
"My, you also have generous friends, Negi-kun," Tsukuyomi remarked.
"It seems the least I can do for my new bodyguard."
Now, that cried out for a response. "I'm your what now?" she asked pleasantly.
Negi coughed uncomfortably. "Yes, um, during the mission, while we expect you to defend the entire party in conjunction with our other fighters, you'll be specifically tasked with guarding Nodoka while the other fighters are partnered up with other non-combatant members of the expedition. The buddy system, you see."
"And I'll be tasked with guarding you," Nodoka said calmly, holding up her pactio card.
Now Tsukuyomi froze. "I see," she said quietly, for she did. She hadn't imagined that she would be going on this mission without some guarantees of her obedience, but this was far beyond the limits she'd expected of Negi and his associates. "That's not very ... what's the word? ... trusting, Negi-kun."
"I do trust you, Tsukyomi-san," he assured her. "Unfortunately, what I trust you to be is somewhat treacherous. So I'm taking a step to verify your trustworthiness."
"I see," she said again. She glanced at Fate, who still hadn't moved or made a noise through the entire conversation. "And are you going to be coming along with us as well, Fate-kun?"
"No. In fact, I'm here against Negi-kun's wishes," the artificial boy informed her.
"Really?" she said, glancing between the two of them. "A lack of trust appears to be somewhat endemic -"
"Tsukuyomi," he interrupted. "I believe that you can change."
She fell silent, gazing at him. "Really."
"I am not sure what you will change into, however. And so I have come to give you this simple warning. If you betray Negi-kun, and I am reluctantly forced to view any harm to his allies as a betrayal of him, then you should be aware that there is nowhere on any world that you will be able to hide from me." He looked at Negi, then. "I'm done." And he walked swiftly out the room's other exit.
"My my my," Tsukuyomi cooed, fascinated despite herself.
"We have a dartboard with his face on it in our room," said Nodoka. "Do you play?"
"... and the headache at last returns," Negi muttered, rubbing his head.
Somewhat later, as she sat on the front porch of a certain cabin and resented her enforced idleness - for in fact it had been beyond her to find even a speck of dust or hidden damage anywhere within the cabin, and so she had been unable to clean anything - Karin gazed up into the early evening sky and watched for the stars to come out until she remembered the concept of light pollution. When that happened, she sighed unhappily. The stars were the one thing that were like her, returning and returning and always the same ... or almost always, as those rotten Italians had demonstrated ...
A slight cough came from the darkness surrounding the cabin, and Karin instantly shifted to a stance in which she could be ready to defend Evangeline-sama's property. To her renewed annoyance, however, it was only the Princess of Parallel Mars, carrying - of all things! - a tea tray as she walked carefully up towards the cabin.
"I figured that Chachamaru wouldn't offer you any tea, so I thought you might like some of Konoka's, instead," the orange-haired girl said.
"Is she often that neglectful of guests?" Karin asked, doing her level best to hide how eager she was for the answer to be 'yes'.
"Nope, but you're kind of a jerk," the Princess replied.
Karin briefly considered the worth of wrath, and dismissed it as without value at the moment. "That has been observed," she admitted instead. "I would welcome the tea."
A few moments later, as the two sat together on the porch, sipping tea and staring up at the starless sky, Karin finally asked the question. "You wished to know something, correct?"
"Lots of things," Asuna admitted. "But when it comes to you, I guess there's really only one real question, isn't there?"
"Perhaps," Karin agreed. "I have only ever confessed this once. It resulted in my first meeting with Evangeline-sama. Perhaps a second time will change everything in my life again. Perhaps not." And then, with a deep breath, she began to speak in a language that only Asuna would recognize and understand.
I was born in Germania in the first year of the rule of Tiberius in Rome, or so I believe, for Rome was only a rumor to our people. I was not yet a woman when I began, unwillingly, the journeys that would take me away from my home forever - for my people would be destroyed in the great population shifts that came later in that century - and to the province of Judea, as a slave and later a freed woman.
Eventually, I met Him. Much like the historians, I divide my own history into the era before He came into my life, and the years afterwards. He accepted many outcasts among His friends and followers, and perhaps it should not be so strange that a foreigner, a woman, and a freed slave should number among them. Was I the disciple that He loved? I am not the one to say. I loved Him. We all did. Was I the only one who yearned for Him? I doubt it.
Did I betray Him? Yes. In the end, I did. In the end, hearing Him speak of the doom that was coming for Him made me panic and try to offer Him up to the authorities in the hope that if I did so, if He was taken peacefully, they would be merciful. I was, and perhaps am, a fool.
The worst part, I think, was the way that they wrote me out of the history altogether, and gave the Aramaic form of my name as a nickname to Judah bar Simon. For millennia, then, that poor, greedy man, whose worst crime was to steal off with our treasury when it seemed that all was truly lost, who bought a plot of land with that money and died of a seizure many years later, has been condemned as the worst traitor, the most shameful coward, in all of history. It seems hardly just.
But there is no justice in the world, I think, for why else should I be granted unending life for that act of treason and cowardice?
"I don't believe that there's no justice in the world," Asuna said, a little while after Karin had finished speaking.
"Time will tell if you or I am right," said Karin. "As I think you will fall before I do, I can say that I will have the final answer."
There was nothing really to say to that, so they both fell silent for a time.
"Please look after Negi," Asuna asked after a time passed. "I don't ... I think Evangeline loves someone else more than she loves him, no matter what Chachamaru might say, but he is dear to her, for all that she claims otherwise."
Karin closed her eyes.
"And you are dear to her, too," the wretched girl added. "Or she wouldn't trust you with him."
"I will do what I can," Karin promised softly. After a long moment, she spoke again. "Will you tell your friends about me?"
Asuna blinked, surprised. "Of course not. Confessions are supposed to be confidential, right? Besides, it wouldn't mean anything to any of them, except maybe Misora."
"Ah, so she is one of your classmates. I suspected ... wait, is she party to your perversions?" Karin asked sharply.
"Not exactly," Asuna replied, shading the truth a mite.
Karin regarded her dubiously, but didn't say anything. They sat there together until some of the stars actually managed to come out.
Somewhat to her amazement, Tsukuyomi discovered that they actually did have a dartboard with Fate's face on it in their room. Admittedly, it was a velcro dart board at which plastic sphere-headed darts with velcro strips were thrown, rather than one for the use of sharp projectiles, which no one was trusting enough to hand her just yet. But the offer to let her join in on what the two girls clearly viewed as a symbolic attack on Fate was genuinely meant, which might have warmed her heart if she were at all capable of being heart warmed. As it was, she just politely thanked them for the offer, took a hold of one of the brooms with which they obviously kept their dormitory room so sparklingly clean, and engaged in some sword form practice on the far side of the room from the two of them.
Of course, all that happened was that she got tired and reminded of how much she was bored by and disliked sword form practice. This wasn't going to make her any stronger. She knew that. She'd known that since the very beginning. Nothing but the direct clash of blades with a peer or a superior would do that. Or of course a cheat, but the limits of such cheats had been made very clear to her. But if trickery wouldn't get her anywhere, and hard work (ugh!) wouldn't get her anywhere, and her sempai was so much better than her despite the fact that everything she did was as backwards as possible, then what was Tsukuyomi supposed to do?
She could not have the bonds that sempai had so ridiculously claimed as her strength. Even sempai had admitted that, in the conversation she'd had with Konoe right before her most recent capture. They were not for her. Even if they were a source of strength, she wouldn't want them if they were available to her, since ...
... and then her reason failed her.
Maybe if she convinced herself that it was just another trick?
Deceive even herself that way?
Weary, frustrated, and less serene than she'd ever been, Tsukuyomi finished her practice, darted into the dorm room's shower stall, and then exited, no less weary or frustrated but a bit more serene.
She'd expected to be sent to the couch to sleep, and was again surprised that her two hosts - or at least Miyazaki, who'd done all the talking while her partner just stared at Tsukuyomi in a cold, quite unfriendly manner - offered to allow her to have the upper bunk in their room to herself for the night, while they shared the last. How generous. she'd thought, since surely they would not be shameless enough to do anything while she was in hearing range, even if she was assuming correctly about their relationship.
So much for that idea, Tsukuyomi thought bitterly a little while later as she listened to the vigorous shuffling of futon sheets and quiet steady gasps of pleasure coming from beneath her. How disgusting!
Why, it was almost as annoying as the very idea that -
"AH!" came the faint echo of a loud cry from somewhere not terribly far away. "YES, SETCHAN! JUST LIKE THAAAAAAAT!"
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
"YES! HOLY SHIT, SAKU, IS FATE TEACHING YOU THIIIS?!" sounded another echo.
Tsukuyomi covered her ears with her hands and prayed for the sweet release of death.
To Be Continued