A/N: I would like to warn people right now that this story should not really be taken seriously. It's just a fun thing I thought up one night while I was going through pages and pages of tumblr and trying not to cry every time I thought of the glee season finale.

I say this because this chapter...it's very hard to believe but again, it's all in good fun and I hope you guys like it. I do not own Glee or the Avengers.

Bruce

After the initial meeting, things went pretty smoothly. Sure there were a couple of mishaps here and there, a few explosions and bang ups but nothing that Tony (or Kurt) can't fix.

Currently, Kurt was with Bruce, observing and taking notes while the scientist watched him curiously from the corner of his eye. The man was elusive, always avoiding Kurt at every possible turn. Now, he had no choice but be in the same proximity of Kurt if he wanted to do any work and he couldn't exactly kick Kurt out without looking or feeling like a jerk.

"You know, you don't have to stay here. I can give you my measurements later through email or a text," he said as he worked at a computer. Kurt looked up and smiled, shrugging easily, "No, it's fine. I already have your measurements; I'm just trying to get ideas. Your costume may seem simple but it really isn't. I have to come up with an outfit that you wont rip to shreds every time you power up. Or whatever it is you strong people do."

The physicist shook his head, laughing bemusedly, "'Power up.' I don't think I've ever heard anyone else but Tony call it that. It's ridiculous. But really, if you have no real reason to be here, I suggest you go work at your station. Just in case." Kurt didn't reply, going back to his notes. "I…I'm not scared of you, you know," he finally said, sketching away in his notepad.

Bruce froze for a moment before going back to his work, "Then you're either the bravest young man I've ever known or the most foolish."

Maybe this is what Tony had meant as counselor. Obviously, Bruce seemed to have a lot of insecurities about his…condition. Kurt noticed it all through dinner last night and earlier in the day. Bruce would be careful not to stick around too long and would usually stay put in his lab, which was why Kurt was there now. He didn't really interact with the others either, unless they had a question to ask or Tony forced him. Kurt sighed internally. "I had my fair share of monsters, Mr. Banner. Believe me, you're not even in the running. Remember that Jewish girl I told you about? I've been avoiding her for about a week now. I'd rather be stuck in here with you than have to deal with that phone call. Besides, you're in control of it, now, right? I saw how you handled those aliens after that huge attack a few months ago. You're a hero, not a monster."

Looking as if he were working steadily on his research, Bruce was listening vigilantly. He smiled softly, "Wow, Natasha was right." Kurt blinked in confusion, "Right about what?"

Smiling more widely now, he turned to fully look at Kurt. "Tony hired you to talk to us, didn't he?" The young man felt his cheeks heat up before straightening his back, a cool mask replacing his features, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Bruce's lips quirk up in amusement, "Sure you don't. Tony seems to be very fond of you, anyway. Most of us think you might be related to him in some way." Kurt shuddered and gagged, "Nope, nope, absolutely not. We are not related at all." This time, Bruce did laugh, "He's not that bad. Plus, he hired you. Out of the entire country, he picked you. Now, why do you think that is?" Composing himself, Kurt grinned, "Because I'm the best, obviously. Practically perfect in every way."

"Ahh, Mary Poppins. Does that make you our nanny of sorts?" he asked, trying to funny. Kurt snorted, "I'm not magical, Mr. Banner, no matter what Tony might tell you. But my voice can rival even the great Julia Andrews. I should know, I've sung her songs plenty." Bruce raised a brow, "You sing?"

"I'm the best at everything to strive to do, Mr. Banner. And yes, I sing. And dance. And act when the occasion calls for it. But singing is the dream."

Bruce nodded along, "I can see that. You know something…I think this is the longest conversation I've had with someone without either party having any sort of…accident. It's quite risky."

"You're a lot more talkative than usual. I tend to do that to people. It's either they talk to me or get one of the following. A, I talk, sometimes sing, their ear off or B, I stare at them long enough to get uncomfortable and forced to say something. It always worked on my dad." Kurt stood up, stretching out his legs, "Like I said, Mr. Banner, I don't think you're dangerous. Different sure but not dangerous. And hey, what's life if not for taking risks, right?"

Laughing, the scientists went back to work, "Please, call me Bruce. You sure you're not related to Stark?"

"He wishes he can be as glamorous as me, that's a promise," he replied, walking around the room to get feeling back in his legs. He noticed the Ipod on the table next to Bruce and asked, "That yours?" Bruce looked down and nodded, "Oh yeah. I play that in when I'm in here. Keeps me calm. But you were talking so much; I forgot to plug it in." Kurt smirked, taking that as a victory. "Mind if I take a look?"

He gave Kurt a one shoulder shrug, "Sure, knock yourself out. Just…don't tell the others alright?"

Kurt went through the playlists, nodding to some of the songs and giving Bruce judging glances at others. "Don't look at me like that. The other guy has strange tastes, alright," was all Bruce said when he caught one of Kurt's critical stares.

Smirking, he filed the top song playlist away in his head.

Later that day, he was showing Tony his notes and designs while he had an iced tea and was currently texting Blaine at the dining table. They were setting up the date for Blaine's plane which wouldn't happen until next week since his parents wanted him around for some sort of summer party at a country club. It made Blaine absolutely miserable but at least he would be with Kurt soon and they'd have the summer together in New York. In the Avengers Tower, no less.

Tony was busy going through Kurt's book, giving out orders at Jarvis to deliver material and make notes to remind himself about adjustments to elasticity and such. Kurt noticed that he had a glass in his hand, scotch he figured. "Not that it's any of my business but it's only noon and I swear I saw you put rum into your coffee this morning…" he observed, looking at him over his own drink.

The older man didn't even look up, "You're right, it's not any of your business. Well, these will certainly help me with Bruce's pants. And purple too, huh? Thought he'd be more of a periwinkle type of guy."

Kurt rolled his eyes at the obvious change of topic but let it slide for now, "It's wine, actually. I also written down the fabrics you might want to combine if you want the elasticity to support the transformation. Spandex, vinyl, cotton, you're usual suspects. Not a big supporter of those myself but I guess desperate times call for desperate measures."

"Great. Soon we'll be able to create pants that wont tear off him and let all of FOX News see green dong in their cameras. Wow, that was a fun week of damage control."

Kurt winced and grimaced at the memory. It was just a few weeks after the whole, vortex-in-the-sky-and-let-aliens-destroy-Manhattan incident happened. Kurt never watched the whole video but it was too popular not to catch glimpses. Sympathy grew for the poor doctor once more. Not only did he have to deal with people being afraid of him but most of America, if not the world, knew what he looked like stark naked. Well sort of, he was sure Bruce wasn't like that on a regular basis…yeah, he need to stop thinking of the Hulk naked, it was getting disturbing.

Mercifully, his thoughts diverted when the alarm went off. Tony was on his feet, "What is it Jarvis?"

"It's Mr. Banner, sir. There seems to have been an incident in the training room. Mr. Barton and Mr. Thor are with him now but they can't seem to calm him."

Tony and Kurt were on their feet, running towards the training room. When they got there, Clint was upon on the room, bow aimed at Hulk while Thor tried to distract it with his hammer. Steve was trying to calm him with words but it clearly wasn't working. It was just making him even more agitated than usual.

Tony put a hand in front of Kurt, "I think you better get out of here. It might get ugly pretty soon."

But Kurt couldn't leave, Hulk was starting to scream again. Instead he called out to the ceiling, "Jarvis! You have Bruce's music playlist, don't you?"

"Yes sir, it has been downloaded into my servers."

"Play playlist 3," he ordered before hastily adding a, "please."

"Right away sir," he heard the computer respond before the room started to fill up with classical music. Beethoven Symphony No. 9 started to play, if Kurt remembered correctly, startling most of the patrons in the room, Hulk most of all. He roared and threw his arms around, as if to swat the music away. He pushed Thor off as if he were a rag doll and Tony called out to Jarvis to turn off the music, gaining Hulk's attention.

He roared again and pounded over to both Tony and Kurt. Tony went in front of Kurt, trying to calm him, "Woah buddy, hey. It's okay, it's me, Tony. Remember?" For a flicker of a moment, Hulk had this confused look in his face but then he shook it off and growled, before swinging an arm and making Tony fly to the opposite wall. And now there was nothing standing in the way between Kurt and Hulk. Kurt felt like he couldn't move. He should move, like right now. Hulk was coming closer, ready to throw Kurt and turn him into a flat pancake.

Then, as if his mouth was on autopilot, he started to sing.

"I need love, love, to ease my mind."

Hulk paused, his face right up to Kurt's, arm up and ready to attack.

"I need to find, find, someone to call mine," Kurt went on, hoping against hope that this would work, he paused when Hulk moved his arm down.

The Hulk just stared at him for a long moment before growling menacingly. Kurt took that as a cue to continue.

"When mama said, you can't hurry love, no you just have wait. She said love won't come easy, it's a game of give and take."

He continued singing to a now more pacified Hulk while Tony slowly picked himself off the floor and watched the whole exchange in incredulous shock, as were the other Avengers in the room. "The Supremes? Are you kidding me right now? That's what it takes to tame the beast, sing 60's girl group songs?" he whispered harshly, not wanting to distract Hulk from Kurt. Natasha, who suddenly appeared behind Tony, shushed him and watched in fascination.

Kurt continued to sing even after Hulk had sat down, crossed legged. To his utmost surprise, Hulk started to sway along to the song, even humming. The Hulk was humming!

The other Avengers knew it wasn't safe for Kurt to be so close to Hulk but they weren't exactly sure what to do. On the one hand, Kurt was…pretty much handling it on his own. If they stopped him, it could start up another tantrum from the big guy.

"What do you say, Captain?" Clint asked from the ceiling. Tony glanced over to the side where Steve was standing.

Steve too, was staring at the odd spectacle and set his jaw tight, "Just…be prepared for any sudden movements."

Kurt ended his song and once again to his amazement, the Hulk roared in what could be considered applause. "Hulk like pretty song!" he shouted. Kurt smiled nervously, "Umm…thank you…" He tried to back away slowly but was stopped when Hulk suddenly grabbed him with both hands and made Kurt sit on his knee. "More pretty songs! More!" The Avengers flinched and almost sprang into action when Kurt waved them off.

Thanking the universe that Hulk's pants didn't rip entirely to shreds or else this would have been a more frightening than it actually was.

Swallowing nervously, Kurt nodded, "Okay, I can do that. More pretty songs. Want me to sing you a lullaby? Feeling sleepy there, big fella?" Hulk, surprising everyone for perhaps the thousandth time today, pouted and shook his head. "Hulk no tired. Hulk want songs. Sing pretty song!"

Kurt hushed him and patted Hulks and started to sing again, "Early each day, on the steps of St. Paul, the little, old bird woman comes. In her own special way to the people, 'Come buy my bags full of crumbs."

Tony shook his head, rubbing a hand over his face, "I can't believe this."

"This would be wonderful blackmail if it weren't for the fact that we'd be dead to use it against Banner," Natasha commented, watching the scene with amusement now that things seemed to have calmed down. Clint was trying very hard not to laugh by biting his lip, but was failing miserably, "Guys, Hulk actually looks tired. I think the kid's singing is putting him to sleep. God, this is hilarious!"

Thor was the most amazed and would have said so but Natasha hushed him before he could speak, his loud voice would ruin the moment.

Steve was smiling ruefully, but somewhat impressed. He turned over to Tony and asked, "Stark, where on Earth did you find this boy?"

Tony opened his mouth to say, "The reject pile like the rest of us where he doesn't belong," but was interrupted by a loud THUMP.

Hulk had fallen backwards and began to snore, loudly and with grunting to boot. Kurt was trapped underneath Hulks huge hand that had him completely covered.

"Help?" he pleaded out weakly, trying to be quiet and not disturb the large beast. The others got to work quickly and as silently as possible, Thor and Steve lifting the hand off of Kurt and Natasha helping him climb down. Hulk stirred, growling in his sleep and they panicked for a moment. Hulk's eyes fluttered opened and Tony hissed, "Sing Hummel. Now!"

Nodding, Kurt sang, "Though her words are simple and few, listen, listen, she's calling to you." The Hulk immediately quieted down, breathing starting to even out again.

"'Feed the birds, tuppence a bag. Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag," the young man ended. He reached down and patted Hulks forehead gently that earned him a soft grunt but nothing more and the Hulk fell into a deep sleep.

They all stepped out of the room as fast as they could without making much noise until they were all a safe distance away. Tony locked the room down temporarily so that Bruce could sleep it off. He assured everyone that the room was soundproof, nothing would reach Hulk's ears until he awoke on his own, hopefully not until after Bruce transformed back to himself.

"That was quick thinking, kid," Clint praised Kurt, patting him on the back.

Natasha nodded, "That took some balls, Hummel, singing like that without even knowing what the big guy would even do."

If Kurt didn't feel as nervous and faint as he did, he would have flushed at the compliments. He smiled wearily, "I went through his music earlier…he told me some of the songs he chose was because Hulk liked them, not that he necessarily did. Said that as long as the music played, he would stay continuously calm. I gave it a shot."

Tony walked over to him and started to prod and poke him, "You okay? He didn't hurt you or anything did you?" Kurt swatted him away, "Ow! No, I'm not hurt, not really. When he grabbed me, I think I got a bit bruised around the arms, but that's normal, I bruise easily. But it's fine, I'm a fast healer."

Tony gave him a look before sighing, "Jesus kid, we're supposed to be the heros not you, remember? Let me get you some ice, at the very least, Lord knows I need some, I feel a migraine coming on."

"Now you know how we feel when you go out and put yourself in danger," Steve replied with a smirk, then it became more warm towards Kurt, "That was a brave thing you did in there, Kurt. I'm proud. But please, don't do it again?"

Kurt froze in place, not sure what to say but Tony beat him to it, "No, hey, why not make Kurt sing every time Bruce Hulks out in the tower? You saw how he calmed down almost instantly. This will keep S.H.I.E.L.D off our backs about Hulk going out and terrorizing the city of New York and it will save me some dough on indoor construction. He'll be great."

Frowning, Steve wasn't going to have it, "Tony, Kurt is just a civilian. Plus, he's just a child. He could really hurt himself by being close to Hulk. We were just lucky today."

"Hulk is our friend too. I don't know what it was that made him go all crazy today but we know it's not his fault. And if Kurt can help him control himself especially when he's in that state then why not?" Tony said, looking agitated.

Natasha was nodding along, scaring Tony more than surprising him. "I agree, I don't see the problem with Kurt doing his thing if it means keeping Hulk happy. I know I'll be more calm if Kurt's there to keep it all under control."

Clint grinned, "Yeah and besides, have you heard the pipes on the kid? No one will care if he sings freaking Nickleback, he's that good." Steve frowned in confusion, probably not understanding the reference, but ignored it, "I still don't think this is a good idea."

"My friends! From my past visits to this planet I have heard your country's politics differ from Asguard. Debates would be put to a vote on a decision which is what my wonderful Jane called Democracy, on which your country thrives on, yes? Why not do so now and put and end to the argument?" Thor boomed, speaking for the first time since they left the training room.

"Technically, our country thrives on Capitalism and the manipulation of government," Natasha gave Tony a glare and put up his hands in defense, "Alright, alright fine. A vote then. Those in favor of Kurt taking care Hulks tantrums, raise your hand."

Tony, Natasha, Clint and Thor had their hands raised. Tony grinned, "Well then, it's unanimous. Kurt, you're the official Hulk tamer. Like a lion tamer, only more dangerous."

Kurt just groaned, "That's just a fancy title for baby sitter, isn't it?"

Tony just laughed and clapped a hand on Kurt's shoulder, "Welcome to the team, Kurt."

I do not own Beethoven Symphony No. 9, The Supremes - Can't Hurry Love, or Mary Poppins' - Feed the Birds.