A/N: Tonight it was supposed to be an english paper. I wonder what my english teacher would say if I said that Remy threatened to charge my computer if I didn't write this? Could I use that as an excuse?

*grumbles* stupid Marvel. If they would just put the most incredible wonderful character EVER (well-except for Rogue) in the movie, I wouldn't have to do this.

Stupid movie....



Chapter 3


All I ever wanted is here with you
But sometimes I get wrapped up and confused
So lets go down to the edge of the sand
Take some time and take my hand
So much here we don't understand
So kiss me like the world is going to end
It don't get much better than this.

-Meredith Brooks

Remy shook his head in amazement as he stared at the mansion door, wondering what the hell had just happened. He wasn't used to this--It had been a long time since anybody had ever disliked him that vehemently on sight, especially a girl.

Remy, what's the matter? You look as if you were just hit by a tornado.

Remy glanced backwards at Storm, who was getting the last of their things out of the car. I'm not so sure I wasn't, he muttered.

Ororo raised an eyebrow, amused. Who was that you were talking to?

Remy snorted. Scarlett O'Hara PMS'in on steroids.

Despite herself, Ororo laughed. Please tell me you're not referring to our Rogue!

Oh, is dat what she called? Remy couldn't tell wit all de ot'er t'ings she shoutin'.

Ororo sighed, and moved to help her friend pick up the discarded boxes. I'm sorry, she's not always like that, she's just had a hard time of it since Logan lef--I mean, since she absorbed Magneto and Wolverine on Liberty Island.

Again wit' dis Logan' character. Aint someone gon' tell me what's gon' on? Remy wondered.

Oooh... she didn't tell you about her mutation, did she? Understanding dawned on Storm's face.

Non. All de fille said was, Remy swung his hip out and flipped his hair, striking a sassy feminine pose. Ah'm dangerous, swamp rat, he said in a high falsetto. Don't mess with me, hot stuff!

Ororo tried to stop from laughing and failed miserably. She did not call you hot stuff!

Remy smirked. She be t'inkin it, non?

Ororo rolled her eyes. Your humility never ceases to amaze me. Come on, we have to get these boxes up to your room.

Remy followed her inside, complaining. Remind me gain why we had t'buy so much more crap f'r Remy?

Because you showed up with only a ratty suitcase full of thieves instruments and a change of clothes. You needed more than that to come stay here, she explained with the air of someone who has answered the question a bazillion times and will fry you with lightning if you ask again.

An' what makes you t'ink dat I'll be stayin' here long nough to need all dese t'ings?

Remy, you have literally, in your own words, no where else to go. And I know that if you, with all your worldwide connections and friends, have nowhere else to go but to a mutant charity house' as you put it, things must be pretty god damn bad. Which means that, no matter what you say to the contrary, you're going to be stuck here for a while, whether you like it or not. She smiled at Remy's dumbfounded expression--she had him absolutely pegged. Didn't know I was so logical, did you? Storm didn't add that she was secretly hoping that maybe he would settle down here, stop running, stop dragging himself half-dead from each town, each heist.

Remy just sighed and resumed his task of dragging his stuff up the stairs. Sure, Stormy, whatever ya say. What were ya sayin' about dat fille's powers before?

Rogue... well, basically she's untouchable. If a person has any skin-to-skin contact with her at all, she'll absorb their memories, personalities and in mutants' case, powers, in the process leaving them pretty much drained of their life force--she could kill if she held on long enough. As it is, most of her victims either pass out or end up in an incredible amount of pain.

Remy whistled. Mon dieu. De fille not kiddin' when she say she's dangerous, non?

She was dead serious. She usually avoids touching anyone, even through layers of clothing--her powers terrify her.

Dey certainly don' stop her from lashin' out at helpless cajuns, muttered Remy, rubbing the spot where she'd kicked him. That was definitely going to bruise.

Ororo's eyes widened in surprise. She kicked you? The weather goddess gave an uncharacteristic giggle. Remy, you must have really pissed her off for her to be willing to touch a complete stranger!

Remy grinned. I try, Stormy. I try.

***

Rogue was sulking. She knew it was childish and petty and stupid, but she couldn't help it: she just didn't feel like facing the world that day. She hadn't been able to sleep at all last night, Bobby wasn't here, her friends were being so annoying, and to top it all off he showed up.

Rogue scowled into her pillow. What had he said his name was again? Remy? What kind of a name was that, anyway? A stupid one, that's for sure.

Rogue didn't know why she hated him so much. He just... god damn he was annoying! He had talked to her for maybe one minute and made her want to kick his teeth in. Not many people had that particular talent--maybe it was his mutant power.

She thought of the way his eyes had roamed all over her and shuddered. She hoped he would stare at Jean that way and get blasted through a wall by her husband. Probably wouldn't be the first time, either--he was such a skeeve, he probably got caught by angry husbands all the time...

Rogue sat up, angrily punching her bed. She wished Logan were here! It wasn't that she wanted him to skewer the stupid swamp rat--she could take care of herself, dammit--but no one could calm her down like he could. She could go to talk to him and start out absolutely raging mad, and a minute later she would just be sitting with him, resting her head on his shoulder, pondering how someone as feral as him could smell so damn good.

Before she could wallow in self-pity any further, a small but incredibly hyper explosion burst into the room. Jubilation Lee was back.

Ohmigod Rogue, did you see him?! Jubilee panted--she had obviously ran back to her room.

Rogue blinked, utterly confused. Uh, who is this him' that I'm supposed to see?

Jubilee threw her arms in the air dramatically. Is there any other him' in the universe? No, there is and always will be only one HIM, only one man that gorgeous, that charming, that sexy, that-

Jubilee, tell me who the hell you're talkin' bout already.

Jubilee sat down on the bed, a dreamy look in her eyes. The name's Lebeau. She let a dreamy little sigh escape her lips. Remy Lebeau.

Rogue stared for a minute and then let out a disgusted, revolted, absolutely-terrifying-to-hear shriek.

Jubilee yelped, covering her ears. What the heck, Rogue? What'd I do??

Rogue stared at her friend as if she'd sprouted two heads. You said ITS name. You called IT sexy and attractive!

Jubilee shook her head, staring at her friend. It's finally happened, hasn't it? Logan's personality finally drove you into the deep end.

Rogue glared. Ah can't believe what yer sayin' about that... that...

Sexy hunk of man-flesh?

Smelly cheap slime-ball excuse of a man!

Oh, you're one to talk! Jubilee said huffily. At least I don't like guys with out-of-control sideburns who think a night in a Canadian bar is a romantic date!

Rogue winced at the truth of the statement. Leave Logan out of it.

Jubilee rolled her eyes. Suuure. What's the deal, anyway? Why don't you like Remy?

Rogue snorted. Oh, so we're on first-name basis now, are we?

Just answer the damn question.

Rogue sighed, lying back down on her bed. What's to like about him? He stinks, he's arrogant, he's totally sleazy-

-he's charming, he's sexy, he's GORGEOUS-

-and he seems determined to get into the pants of every single girl on the planet.

Aw, come on, how do you know he's such a bad guy? He's been here for, like, two minutes, you can't have had more than one conversation with him...

Rogue gave her friend a dirty look. I just know, all right? Besides, how the hell do you know that he's so wonderfully wonderful?

Because he is, duh. Any woman who isn't blind can see that.

Rogue sniffed. Please-he wasn't that cute-

You frikkin' liar! You think he's hot and you know it, chica!

Are you kidding me? He looks and smells like some alligator from a Loos'ana swamp.

Sacrilege! How can you say that?! Those eyes, that hair, that body-

Oh, gag me with a spoon already. Honestly Jubes, that's low standards even for you.

Okay, you have to admit you at least think he's attractive. Come on Rogue, you can't ignore universal truth here!

Rogue glared. He looks like a Ken doll--probably that well equipped, too.

Oh, you're horrible.

Rogue grinned, the resemblance to Logan unmistakable. I try, Jubes. I try.

***

Anyone could tell just from looking at Carol Danvers that she was a government agent. She had that walk, that talk, that air around her that exuded confidence. Everything about her said, I am stronger than you, smarter than you, tougher than you and if you try anything I will knock you through a wall. And in Carol's case, she actually could.

She ignored the appraising looks and the few whistles that accompanied her on her way to meet Nick. The Pentagon was filled with so many people, most of them strangers, that it would take too long to track down each person and let him know the exact reasons why no one ever looked at her with that kind of disrespect. Besides, Carol had other things on her mind today. She'd received word from one of her many connections that S.H.I.E.L.D. had a new lead on the Hellfire Club, one that would need investigating. And Carol was damned if she let Nick send anyone else but her on the job.

She had some scores to settle with the Hellfire Club.

She swung open the door to Nick Fury's office, and grinned when he looked up from his paperwork, startled enough that he almost jumped. She loved being able to surprise him--so few people could. Hello, Nick.

He scowled. I hate it when you call me that, Carol. Why can't you call me by my last name like everyone else.

Because it annoys you, Nick. Besides, it reminds you that you're human, and I'm of the opinion that you definitely need some reminding every once in a while. She took a seat, not waiting to be asked. I'll cut to the chase, Nick m'dear. She crossed her arms over her chest, narrowing her eyes. You acquired some new leads on the Hellfire Club, and need someone to investigate. I'm taking the job.

Nick sighed, a regretful look on his face. I.. don't think you want to do that, Carol.

Oh really? Why the heck not?

There's... more to it than you heard. This case requires immediate action, and it has to be done very carefully. It's a Big Deal.

All the more reason for me to do it. I'm your best agent, remember?

Nick rolled his eyes. Nothing if not humble. Seriously, Carol, I just don't think it's a good idea--what with your personal connections to the club and Mike's death-

It was two years ago, Nick. Honestly, do you think I'm made of porcelain? she snapped. Nick was silent--there was no need to tell her what she already knew: that she wasn't over Mike's death, and never would be.

Carol sighed, staring out the window. I need to take this job, Nick. I've been so bored lately, and the Hellfire Club... I'll be damned if I see them hurt anyone else.

Carol, I really don't think-

I'm taking this job whether you like it or not, Nick.

Nick groaned. Wasn't he supposed to be her boss or something like that? He could've sworn he was her boss... All right, fine Carol, whatever. But if you screw this one up, I'm not going to listen to your excuses, got it?

She smiled brilliantly. Well then, I'll just avoid screwing up, won't I?

He sighed. Sure, Carol. Whatever you say. It wasn't that bad, he guessed; Carol was his best agent. Her mutation gave her definite advantages over the all-too-human Inner Circle of the Hellfire Club.

It was nothing she couldn't handle.

***

Rogue slumped down the stairs, deciding that 8:30 in the morning was definitely far too early for any sane person to be awake. Chock up another sleepless night: she'd dreamt about Bobby again, only this time his face was replaced by Logan's halfway through the dream.

God damn that annoying subconscious.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Rogue immediately wanted to turn right back around and head for her bed. There he was, the slime-ball in person, surrounded by Jubilee, Kitty, and what seemed like every other teenaged girl on the premises.

Rogue was about to turn around when he caught her eye. His charming smile changed to a leer, and he deliberately let his eyes wander all over her best parts.

Rogue glared back with all the fierceness she could muster that early, crossing her arms over her chest and stomped past him, rudely shoving his shoulders as he past. What's de matter, chere? Remy called after her. No good morning kiss? She just flipped him the bird over her shoulder and continued walking, muttering about telling Storm exactly where she should shove her new friend.

She was chowing down on a bowl of Lucky Charms and of course blessed coffee when he waltzed in. Rogue looked up from the magazine she'd been reading and groaned upon seeing him.

Remy just grinned. If Remy didn' know better, he'd say de fille don' like him.

Wow, you realized?? Damn, you're smarter than Ah thought.

Remy rolled his eyes. You're too sarcastic f'r yer own good, ya know dat?

I have no idea what on earth you mean.

He smirked. 'S all right, chere. Luckily, I know dat breaking mah shinbone be a sign of ffection, but you migh' wanna watch it--ot'ers ya meet might not be as quick on de uptake as Remy is.

Groaning, Rogue stood up, taking her cereal and coffee into the den.

Jubilee and John, playing foosball at the time, took one look at the sleep-deprived Rogue and knew better than to attempt talking to her right now. Too bad, though, that they couldn't pass on that information to other concerned parties--because, not two minutes after Rogue came in, she heard,

Ya know, ya really should take a look at dat temper of yours, chere. It cost you a few friends, non?

Rogue sighed, throwing down the book she'd been reading. Is your skull too damn thick to realize that Ah do not want to talk to you, Cajun?

Remy grinned. Ah, but Remy want t'talk to you, chere, he replied, leaning close so she could smell his bourbon-tinged breath. He like feisty femmes.

Rogue glared at him, scooting as far away from him as she could. Yeah? Well, Ah'm not feisty,' swamp rat--Ah just don't like you.

Remy put a hand to his chest, sighing dramatically. Ah, chere! You wound dis Cajun, ya really do.

Scowling, Rogue resumed drinking her coffee.

Silence for a while. Then, Stormy told me bout yer powers.

Rogue choked, spluttering coffee over the couch.

Remy grinned, making suggestive movements with his hips. Guess dat means ya have ta use a full body condom when yer rollin' in de hay, non?

Rogue just threw her coffee in his face and stomped out.

The den was silent for a few moments as Remy sat shell-shocked, coffee dripping from his hair. Then Jubilee couldn't help it: she burst into a helpless fit of giggles, helplessly doubled over the pool table. Remy, on the other hand, scowled at her and ran after the cranky southern belle.

Why de hell did ya do dat?!

Rogue almost screamed in frustration. Do ya just not take hints of when to leave me the hell alone, Cajun?

He glared at her, shaking coffee from his bangs, and Rogue had to giggle at the sight of him, his no-doubt-expensive-as-hell shirt and hairdo dripping with cafe au lait. You got a real bad anger problem, ya know dat?

And you've got a problem with showin' up everywhere Ah turn and makin' me miserable!

Remy shook his head incredulously. I don' believe dis. I'm de one drippin' in coffee, and she's de one yelling!

Rogue could see the beginnings of an audience beginning to form, but she didn't care. Oh woops, did Ah muss up your hair? Ah'm ever so sorry!

Are ya always dis much of a bitch or did I get ya at de wrong time of de month?

Oh yeah, they definitely had an audience by now. Ah'm only a bitch when little pricks like you make me waste cups of perfectly good coffee!

He jerked angrily, mock-bowing. Please, forgive Remy the ultimate crime of tryin' ta talk to de mansion's resident spoiled psycho princess! Did ya highness want a beheadin' or is a temper tantrum good

You arrogant little-

Don' tell me--Remy's a bastard, right? He shook his head, making tsk sounds. Ya really need to broaden de vocab, highness-

Oh, cause you sound so much smarter--at least Ah speak real english!

Is dis what happens to folks dat speak real english? If it is, count me out!

Don't worry, swamp rat! Rogue whirled around, shoving through the crowd as she stormed upstairs. Ah already have!

Remy watched her go, ignoring the snickers and whispers of the whispers around him. He could feel cold coffee trickling down the back of his neck, and he secretly knew that he would always remember this shirt fondly. Dat's too bad, chere, he said to himself. 'Cause I certainly haven't--guess de chase is on, non?