AUTHOR NOTE – Set 5th year

"I'm proud of you Harry!"

Harry looked up at Sirius with confusion. "What for?"

Sirius smiled at his godson. It was amazingly pleasing to be able to sit freely in a Hogwarts classroom, talking to the young man who meant so much to him. And yet, here was, exonerated and free.

"You managed to see through Voldemort's lies, that's what! You had a vision of Arthur being bitten around Christmas, and your warning revealed it to be true. Without your warning, Arthur would have died. So, it would have been more than reasonable for you to believe the false vision of me being tortured. Instead of rushing off in a mad panic, you found Sniv… Snape, and told him about the vision. You kept a good head on your shoulders, and I am proud of you!"

Harry shrugged. "Oh… Alright."

Sirius huffed. "There is such a thing as being too modest, Harry. Come on, you can be happy about this. Because of your warning we were able to flip the trap and reveal Voldemort to the world. Heck, Dumbledore was even able to use his renewed popularity to question the captured Death Eaters and finally get me cleared. I shudder at how bad things could have gone if you had run off to save me."

Harry's indifferent expression remained unchanged. "I'm not being modest Sirius. I just don't think I did anything all that special."

Sirius stared at Harry in confusion. "How can you say that!? I think most any person who received a vision of a loved one being tortured wouldn't have been able to be calm about it or figure out that it was a false vision. Voldemort tried to trick you, and you saw through his lies. That… that IS special!"

Harry stared back at Sirius, and then lowered his face and closed his eyes. After a minute of silence, he mumbled something unintelligible.

"I didn't catch that, Harry. What did you say?"

Harry's eyes opened, and when he looked back into Sirius's eyes, Sirius was taken aback. The apathy was gone, but now there was a hardness there. In that moment, he was reminded of the look he had seen in Lily's eyes the day that Snivellus had called her a Mudblood. When Harry spoke, his voice was icy and devoid of passion.

"I said that Voldemort did trick me"

Sirius's throat felt dry as he replied. "What?"

"Voldemort did trick me. I was certain that you were being tortured and that you were going to be killed."

"But… you were so calm. Hermione says that you didn't even need to be convinced not to run off."

Harry snorted, but there was no humor there. "You said it yourself. It would be impossible to be calm about a loved one being tortured. You just assumed that I think of you as a loved one."

Sirius's eyes popped. "But… but you were in a panic about Arthur…"

Harry's brow furrowed in confusion. "Of course, I was! Mr. Weasley is like a… well not a father because he doesn't really treat me with that much care. He's like an uncle. We love each other like somewhat distant family."

"And you don't love me?"

Harry sighed. "Don't take it personally, Sirius. You just have not demonstrated any sort of real familial care for me. It's just who you are. I DO care about whether you live or die, but I'm not going to go crazy about it. To me, you're like Remus or… Shacklebolt."

"Harry… I'm your godfather! I love you!"

"Sirius…" Harry begun speaking, but then shook his head and stopped.

"Please, Harry, say what you were going to say."

Harry stared at Sirius for several long moments before taking another deep breath.

"Fine! It's hard for me to believe that you love me when I am clearly not that important to you. When my parents died, you abandoned me so that you could get your revenge. When you saw that Wormtail was still alive, you escaped Azkaban to kill him. You might claim you did it to protect me, but if that was true then you would have sent me a letter trying to at least warn me of the danger. Also, it's hard to forget how you tried to choke the life out of me when I first met you in the Shrieking Shack. No, your hunt for Wormtail was primarily about revenge for you, and I was a distant thought. Then, during my fourth year, when I wanted you to stay far away for my mental well-being, you ignored my wishes to be near me. That would have made sense if you were at all helpful to me that year, but all your help could have been given in letter format. This past summer, you obeyed Dumbledore and kept me in the dark at the Dursleys. Oh sure, you'll escape prison to kill Wormtail, but you won't disobey a schoolteacher and help me escape the Dursleys. That extended to you obeying orders and keeping me in the dark about the Order meetings. And, of course, the final nail in the coffin is that when I showed up at headquarters, you chose to sit through a pointless meeting instead of greeting me. Every time you have had a chance to choose between me and something else, you have consistently chosen something else. I mean, is there a chance to abandon me that you won't take?"

Sirius stared at Harry in shock. "But… I… You… You agreed to live with me!"

Harry rolled his eyes and stood up. "I'd almost choose living with the Malfoys over the Dursleys. You're not the Dursleys, and you likely won't try to kill me. That's good enough."

As Sirius sat staring into empty space, Harry walked to the doorway. He paused there.

"You know, it's kind of funny. You never directly helped me for the primary purpose of helping me. Remus taught me the Patronus charm, but that was his job. On my first train ride to Hogwarts, Wormtail bit one of Malfoy's cronies when they were trying to steal our candy, and it wasn't like he was expecting any real recognition for the act. If you are just counting unselfish helpful actions, Wormtail beats both you and Remus at a score of one to zero. You would imagine it would be easy to beat the one Marauder who actively killed my father and tortured me, but I guess my dad just had crappy taste in friends."

As Harry put his hand on the door, he spoke again. "Well, I guess I can give you one pity point. If you hadn't actively worked to destroy our relationship, I may have got hurt trying to save you. Here's hoping Wormtail doesn't do something else nice for me this summer and regains his lead. I'll see you at headquarters, Sirius."

As the door closed, a shocked Sirius sat there in the dark. It would be a long time before he noticed the door was closed, the darkness of the room, or the tears rolling down his cheeks.