Trust Me
January: Mistaken

I can hear your heart's voice.

I couldn't understand what I was feeling whenever I'm around her.

At first, I thought that taking her to work and bringing her home would help me figure out what is it that's been bugging me since last week, but nothing's working. All I know is that I want to keep her safe from her ex, that I want see her smile despite the memory it brings of Takehiko.

"Sakura, hurry now."

I raised my head and looked over at her doorway, seeing her mother waving at me before giving a smile. I returned the gesture with a small grin of my own plus a nod before passing the helmet to Sakura. Once she was seated behind me and had her arms around my waist, I started the engine and took off, trying to ignore the so-called butterflies in my stomach when she pressed her head against my back.

Never had I thought the ride to the flower shop would be so awkward and tense.

Each swerve I made only resulted to Sakura's grip tightening; as if afraid she'd fall off.

As for me, I was more worried about losing my focus – I mean… she was pressed up to me. I can feel something soft on my back - What?

I'm still a guy.

I wasn't sure if Sakura was speaking or muttering about something, but from how she was a bit more cheerful today, well, at least it gave me a bit of a distraction.

But when I got to the roses, she came to mind once more.

Brown hair and hazel eyes…

A smile that could make heads turn - that could chase away the gloomy clouds…

"You're… charming, Lieutenant. Did you know that?"

It made me wonder what caused a bright personality like her turn so dark just from one rejection.

"I love you, Lieutenant. Even if you're silent all the time, I feel drawn to it."

Her voice echoed in my head just as my eyes wandered over to the white roses.

"Just please reconsider! Please give me a chance!"

I unknowingly shut my eyes at the memory, remembering how her tears fell from her eyes, and how her fists were clenched against her chest, the white petals scattered to the ground due to her shaking.

"You're like a heavenly being – that's the impression I get whenever I see you."

My lips parted involuntarily, mouthing the words I had responded to her confession, to her pleads: I don't love you, Takehiko. I never will.

"I… I just want to be with you Sasuke!"

Why was she so desperate? Even up until this time, I couldn't understand it, couldn't grasp why she would act so damn… pathetic.

"Um…"

I opened my eyes and turned to Sakura, almost forgetting that she was there.

Her cheeks turned red, as red as the roses next to the white ones I had been tending to. I couldn't help but raise a brow at her, wondering what she could have wanted.

Sakura turned her back to me and continued to water the other flowers, but since I needed the distraction, and because I was pretty much curious as to why she called me, I still waited for her to speak. "What?"

I saw her head turn to look at me over her shoulder, seemingly hesitant at first before deciding to just get on with it.

"Erm… you seemed… dazed earlier."

So she saw me. "Aa." And I looked back to the roses. "…I just remembered something."

My ears picked up a snort from her, so I looked back at Sakura with an eyebrow raised. "Or someone." She muttered, but I clearly heard it. "Forget I said that."

How could I when she was right?

"…Well, yeah." I said back in an equally softer voice before picking up a single white rose. "It's not something but someone, you're right."

Takehiko was a well-respected commanding officer of NDA. Many of our cadets looked up to her and admired her. Heck, she had a lot of suitors trying to win her over, so why me? Why did she choose me of all people? I wasn't even courting her, nor did I show any interest – so why me?

"Hn." I closed my eyes and sighed before returning the flower back to its pile.

Sometimes, women just puzzled me. Love just confuses me.

"What's her name?"

Before I even had a chance to think twice in answering, I ended up speaking: "…It means Beautiful Blossom."

My hands twitched a bit as I recalled how she cried so much, how she fell to her knees and continued to beg me. I didn't do anything but look at her, didn't even say anything to comfort her or even sugarcoat my words. All I did was apologize and leave, not even bothering to see if she got back up, or if anyone bothered to approach her.

"Misaki…" I spoke her name in an unusually soft tone. "Takehiko Misaki."

I was such an insensitive jerk.

"How is she connected to the roses?"

My brows furrowed as I looked over the white roses. "It's more on white roses actually."

That single white rose, full-bloom, was outstretched towards me, and all I did was look at it with an impassive face.

"Instead of giving me red roses when she confessed, she handed me white instead." I let out a sigh. "It had so many meanings all at once. She said she was charmed by me, said she considered her love innocent and pure, mentioned something about my silence all the time, and lastly, she said that to her, I was heavenly."

It's been almost a year… it's been that long…

"That was last year's Valentine's Day."

…I'm sorry, Takehiko.

New Year's Eve is about to arrive, and I'm still not used to this life.

Back in NDA, I'd wake up at exactly five in the morning and do a few stretches and crunches, and if I felt up for it, I'd even do push-ups. Once I've done those, I'd go for a jog outside, making sure to add one round every time I do. Even until now, I still do, yet what the hell do I do so early in the morning after two hours worth of exercise?

"This seat taken?"

I blinked and looked up from my Styrofoam cup of coffee to see Shino, who also held his own cup.

"No, go ahead." I nodded once as he sat across from me in the café, and I barely recalled escorting Sakura in Starbucks last November.

"You look bored."

"I am." I said, sighing before looking at him. "What the heck do you do for fun around here?"

"I normally don't wake up this early, so I'm not really sure what to do besides drink coffee."

I quirked a brow. "You know, a friend of mine would laugh at your answer."

"Hm, I'd like to meet this friend of yours someday."

I managed a small smirk, imagining Kiba laughing and pointing at Shino for giving such an answer. "What do you do anyway?"

"I'm an Entomologist."

I quirked a brow. "How did you and Ino get together if she hates insects so much?"

He laughed lightly. "I take it you and Sakura have been spending a lot of time together."

I felt my neck grow warm. "Sort of."

"Well, to answer your question, I started with butterflies."

My lips ended up smirking as I leaned back on my seat. "What is it with girls and butterflies, I wonder…"

"Besides their color and beauty? I have no idea." He admitted while taking a sip. "Nice bracelet."

I looked towards my wrist where a black-laced bracelet was, a silver nametag in-between.

"From Sakura, huh?"

And that instantly made my cheeks turn red. "Hn."

"So the necklace…"

"Are you sure you're not a detective?" I almost scoffed, trying to forget how Sakura had trouble putting the jewelry on that I ended up doing it for her. That stupid boyfriend of Hinata's just had to take a picture of the scene too.

"Ino's just… talkative." He leaned forward a bit. "Talkative to a point that she gives you nicknames."

I ended up stiffening. "Do you mind telling her to quit that, by the way?"

"Why?" He gave me a grin. "Don't you like being called cutie or Mr. Rawr?"

"…That's disturbing, coming from you."

"Would you prefer The Next Axe Model then?"

"Shino." I seethed, twitching.

"Relax, I'm kidding." He downed the remaining contents of his coffee, and that reminded me that I have yet to touch mine. "Anyway, I plan on heading to the new arcade, want to come?"

I looked at my now cold coffee and gave a shrug. "Why not?"

"So, you're really, really sure?"

I almost sighed exasperatedly, thankful that I had sent Shino ahead when Mizuki-ne called.

"Yes, the guys already invited me to go, so I'll be fine."

"Well, our door will be open if ever you change your mind, or perhaps decide to attend anyway."

"I appreciate that, Mizuki-ne."

"Okay then, have fun!"

I hung up and pocketed the device before stepping inside the mall. Shino already asked me to go with them tomorrow night to celebrate New Year's Eve, and it wasn't like my parents would be sticking around here, not when they had already planned on visiting my grandparents in Hokkaido. Itachi opted to stay with Mizuki-ne since her parents were in the States and won't be able to come home, so I have the option whether to spend the occasion with them, or with the guys and their girlfriends – plus Sakura and her parents whom I'm pretty sure will be accompanying us.

Speaking of Sakura…

"Hey."

I placed a hand over her head, and she looked up at me, the expression of her face earlier on had changed.

"Do you know how stupid you look standing in the middle and staring at the floor?"

The expression on her face had me worried as to what could have been going through her head.

"Sorry…" and I watched as she absent-mindedly fingered the pendant of the necklace I gave her. "I just… remembered something."

That was a lie – I was a hundred percent sure she recalled her ex-boyfriend.

"Hn. Your ex?" I almost spat out bitterly, but I managed to hide it with an impassive face and looked over at the couple she had been watching earlier. "Were you and him like Ino and Shino?"

"Yeah."

The smile she had, it wasn't the same ones I've seen. It looked a lot more pained, and it made my heart clench, made me want to pull her into my arms and just… make the pain go away.

Why..? Why do I feel this way for her?

"I… don't really know why it turned out like this."

I couldn't bear to look at her, not when she was hurt…

So I turned to look at Shino and Ino before lowering my hand to her shoulder, afterwards, debated whether I should hug her or just give her a pat – I ended up pulling her into a headlock and dragging her to where the couple were.

"H-hey! I'm a girl! Are you forgetting?"

My eyes narrowed a bit as I recalled her tears when Riku tried to force her into something, into going with him while his friends made sure she wouldn't be able to escape.

"Hn. Things happen for a reason Sakura." And I let her go. "Remember that." And soon proceeded to where Shino stood, raising a hand in greeting to him and to Ino's smile.

Since his girlfriend was here, then I guess this would be considered as another double date – even if it's the arcade we're headed for.

The moment we arrived at the arcade, Ino had dragged Sakura to what I assumed to be a game for Tekken, what part, I didn't know. Shino stretched his arms and asked if I wanted to play basketball, but I just shook my head and eyed the whole place, unsure of what to try, unsure if I should even bother to buy a card and load it.

"Well, if you change your mind…" he told me before heading off to where the courts were.

I watched as a few guys played air hockey, a group on the racing games, some girls trying out a photo booth, the UFO catcher, and some other luck game I didn't know.

The sound of gunshots caught my attention, and I turned to my left to see various shooting games. From my observation, Silent Hill and House of the Dead were the popular ones, with Time Crisis coming close. Seeing as I haven't held a gun, much less played shooting games in a long while, I went to the counter to purchase a card, had it loaded, and proceeded to where Time Crisis 4 was located.

Some guys didn't pay much attention as I swiped my card and picked up the gun from its holster, and when I started the game, I felt my shoulders automatically tense as the story began.

It has always been like this whenever I held a gun – I'd always turn serious and treat everything like a life and death situation. The moment the screen showed the opponents, I began to shoot at them, aiming for their heads for an instant kill and a higher score.

My body remained in the same position but my eyes shifted from every corner of the screen, keeping a sharp eye out for opponents, making sure I used the right gun at the right time, remembering to duck whenever I'd run out of bullets.

I could hear a couple of guys comment on my game play, but I could barely process what they said as I faced the boss of the first stage, not even breaking much of a sweat as I finished it off without losing even a single life.

"How many times have you swiped the card?"

I almost got hit by a bullet due to the distraction if I hadn't ducked to avoid it. Without taking my eyes from the screen, I answered Shino: "Once." And I flicked my wrist to the right in order to switch my aim from the center to the upper corner, pulling the trigger to finish off the enemies hidden behind the counter. "It's easy to predict where the enemies are hiding."

And to prove my point, I lowered my gun to the left side and shot an opponent that just rolled over from the corner and into my line of vision, not giving him a chance to even shoot.

"You're pretty good." Shino commented, and I could feel both him and Ino getting a closer look.

"Are you some kind of sharp shooter?" The female blond had asked. "Because it's the first time I actually met, or saw, someone who played this with so much ease."

I didn't get how she found that so surprising – anyone who had undergone training like I did, or perhaps someone who has played this game numerous times, can score this much.

"Unless this isn't your first time?"

"Hn. For your first question, I scored high in dexterity back in NDA. Lastly, no. This is really my first time playing this game."

I recalled the many bets Kiba and I would make whenever we had target practice or an airsoft battle.

"You ought to try playing a sniper game." I heard Shino say. "You'd score high, for sure."

I was about to ask where Sakura was, but then I heard from the window next to my screen that a new player had joined, and I turned to see Sakura give me a smile and a peace sign while taking the gun and preparing for the game. "I've always wanted to try this game, but I always end up backing out, since no one would play with me."

I couldn't help but openly stare at her – this girl was just full of surprises.

"That is, if it's okay…"

I ended up smirking at her. "Hn." And we both played the game, me covering for her whenever my eyes would flicker to her screen and I'd see an opponent about to shoot her.

I think I ought to teach her how to hold a gun properly.

My eyes felt a little more tire than normal, and I had to close them for a while in order to give them some rest. Doing this had resulted to my hearing picking up even the faintest sound of a toddler's footsteps, followed by soft murmurs of couples who exchanged sweet words, and then later on hearing Shino apologizing to Sakura for, perhaps, Ino's stubbornness.

Soft giggles had caught my attention, and I dared to open my eyes and turn towards the source. My brows narrowed slightly upon seeing three girls stiffen and then turn red, afterwards, smiled at my direction while talking to each other.

"Did you get stared at by girls back in NDA too?"

I instantly flushed at Sakura's question, refusing to look her way when she started to laugh at my reaction.

"Sadly." I muttered, throwing in a scoff to add to the effect.

"I bet your girlfriend was jealous."

Wait- what? Girlfrie- where did she get that idea?

I looked towards her, raising a brow as she walked ahead of me before looking back.

"What..?" I asked, my head tilting to the side out of habit.

"You know, your girlfriend! I'm pretty sure she was jealous of the other girls who stared at you!"

"Sakura, what made you-"

"I'd like to meet Takehiko someday."

Ta… Takehiko? She thought Takehiko was my girlfriend?

"Sakura, listen." I immediately grabbed her hand when she turned to walk away. "I don't have a girlfriend. Takehiko is not my girlfriend."

"Huh?"

What made her think I wasn't single?

Sighing, I decided to clarify it one more time. "Takehiko is not my girlfriend. What made you say she is?"

And she told me about the roses, how they reminded me of her, how I look at them with guilt or regret in my eyes…

I briefly wondered why she refused to meet my gaze and chose to lower her head.

"Sakura…" I murmur quietly, and when she didn't react to it, she must have not heard me. "I didn't say anything about returning her feelings, nor did I tell you that I already have a girlfriend."

"But-"

"Don't assume things, Sakura."

Really. I didn't understand why she would conclude that I'm in a relationship with Takehiko – I mean, sure I haven't said anything, but I didn't tell her that I was… geez…

"Then… why?"

I didn't think she'd ask, nor did I feel like I should answer.

"It's… a long story." I said, letting her go as I recalled that incident again, the very part of my life which I wanted to forget.

I soon felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist, and I didn't know how to react when I saw a head of pink leaning against my chest.

I had no idea how warm Sakura was…

…and how much I like it.

Crowds… how I hate them. So damn fucking much.

First of, they make it harder to investigate a crime scene due to their damn curiosity. Secondly, some men use it as an excuse to grope a female body. And then there's the occasion theft, or possibly a sudden kidnapping. Most of all, I've suffered through countless sexual harassments from women –young or old- and men –gay, bi, or straight.

Sometimes, I curse having inherited my mother's looks.

"Shinoooo!"

I turned to see Ino hugging her boyfriend's arm, before shifting my gaze over to a hyper Naruto who continued chatting with Hinata. The demanding voice of Temari had also caught my attention when she told Shikamaru that they would kiss by twelve midnight – ah, the rumor that people believe…

Neji was a lot quieter, having opted to just look at Tenten, and I couldn't help the smirk on my lips upon seeing how he was gazing at her so uncharacteristically. Love can really do wonders to people.

But that only made me think how I agreed to going with them.

It's weird and awkward to be surrounded by a group filled with couples, not to mention that Sakura's parents-

…right. I came here because of her.

Sighing, I turned to look at the only single female of the group, my eyes widening slightly when I saw her smile turn to a frown. Something in me just ached when her eyes turned glossy, and how they scanned every couple within range.

Before I knew it, my mouth opened and called her.

"Hey."

"H-huh?"

I wanted to just pull her into an embrace when I saw a tear fall from her left eye, followed by another on the corner of her right. I didn't know why it just pained me to see her like this, to see her so… so hurt.

"Look up." I told her, not removing my eyes on her form even she did what I said. A snowflake landed on her forehead, and I had to resist the urge to brush it off or even kiss it. More stuck onto her hair, and the temptation to run my fingers through her soft-looking locks grew more and more…

"Riku…"

…until she mentioned that name.

Never had I felt so much hatred for a person I barely even knew.

"Sakura?"

I was hoping I didn't sound angry, or didn't sound hurt… I was praying she wouldn't notice my concern, or if she did, wouldn't misunderstand.

"You're…" I tried to speak a little louder. "You're not in the mood."

Her head lowered before looking to the side, and slowly, my right hand shot out to reach for her, only to stop midway and move up, choosing to feel for her forehead instead of her cheek.

"Are you feeling alright?"

It was a stupid question, I know. But… I just… I just couldn't say anything else, didn't feel comfortable to speak of anything else.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

I shouldn't have asked that – but really… I don't think being surrounded by couples would do her any good.

"No." She answered in a weak voice.

So weak that I even felt how drained she was.

"Are you even supposed to be here?"

I blinked, and the question echoed in my head.

"What…" I tried to act nonchalant, tried to pretend to be a soldier again, but I failed. I just ended up looking surprised at her question before looking away, avoiding anyone from seeing the hurt that probably reflected in my eyes. "What do you mean by that?"

I didn't want to know. I didn't want her to answer.

I was scared of the answer.

The fireworks went off just as she yelled at me, and while I wouldn't have supposedly heard it, I did.

"I mean why are you here with me? I don't need you pitying me like this!"

I stiffened at her words, and I met her gaze, unsure how to take that answer.

"I'm not pitying you at all!" I said as loud as I could when another round of fireworks exploded in the air.

"Then stop being with me and acting like you care for me! You shouldn't be here pretending!"

That stung.

That stung so much.

She was silent after that, but her eyes did not look anything but guilty. In my defense, I ended up glaring, but I could no longer hide how her words affected me.

It just hurt.

"You're right." I murmured, my voice growing lower and softer as the fireworks died down and the couples surrounding us began their second round of kissing. "I shouldn't be here." And reluctantly, I turned my back to her and began to walk away, my fists clenched inside my pockets, my head slightly lowered in order to hide my eyes behind a curtain of my bangs, and my mouth in a thin line seeking shelter behind the scarf I had around my neck.

I didn't stop walking even as I bumped into a few people, even if I earned profanities from them…

I didn't stop… even when I heard Sakura say my name.

The pain I felt, that agonizing clench in my chest was far worse than the injuries I got from my missions. Having been beaten and tortured by the enemy when I was captured felt like nothing compared to this misery that's eating me up from the inside.

I clenched my teeth as I finally got away from the crowd. I halted in my steps and pulled one hand out of my pocket to place over my chest where my heart was beating in an abnormally fast rate. My neck and ears felt warmer than normal, and the desire to punch a wall or a mirror, the want to break someone's nose was so tempting and overwhelming.

The worst part is – I knew the cause of it, I just didn't know how to react.

"Damn it all."

I'll take that little worry from you,
No matter what you say you're not alone.

To be continued…

February: Just a Memory

"Say… that you want to be with me…"

Her voice grew weaker and softer, and I could feel myself slowly slipping away, slowly wanting to just press my lips on hers and take her…

"Tell me that you care for me, more than a friend, that you've fallen for me, that you're returning my feelings…"

My breathing grew harsh as I lowered my head and strained to answer. I want to, I really do. I want to tell her I feel the same, I want to tell her she's had my heart from the start – but…

"I can't…"

And I've never felt so pathetic, so weak, so vulnerable.

"Why can't you? I love you Sasuke..! I love you so much..!"

Why… why is this happening again? Why must this always happen?