"Kya!"
The crowd burst in the cheer, very much like a war cry. Shizuo flailed and it took him a few moments to find his voice.
"The- fuck!"
Izaya was on a roll. Nothing made him happier than causing Shizuo's consternation except doing so before a multitude.
"But I'm sorry to disappoint you girls, there's no rape. Shizu-chan begs me to do him-"
"You filthy liar!"
A chorus of 'kya' was not interspaced with hooting cries.
"How was the first time?"
"Izaya topping is so original!"
"Pff, no rape? That can't be, two guys can't get it on without some serious raping!"
"Moe!"
Shizuo was so perplexed that he could not even strike Izaya as he fully intended. He staggered to his feet and Izaya got up in the most smooth way.
"The hell, you can't believe what the louse says! Izaya is a lying bastard!"
"So in character!"
"Best cosplayers ever!"
If Shizuo knew what a cosplayer was he would realize that his reputation was not at stake. As it was he had no idea. Izaya would say that it was a matter of 'not enough information' as opposed to 'too much' of it.
"He's making up stuff!"
Izaya was not one to let opportunities slip and here was a golden one. He piped,
"And guess what, Shizu-chan wears polka dot panties! So cute, isn't it?"
Shizuo was speechless. Then he thundered.
"WHAT THE!"
"Pink polka dot panties, Shizu-chan! They're your favorite. Along with sexy thongs."
At this point Shizuo played into Izaya's hand so perfectly that Izaya was reminded anew of how much of a mastermind he was. Shizuo dropped his pants promptly and pointed to rather dull boxers.
"There! Does it look like panties to you, you fucking flea? I wear man's underwear!"
Izaya doubled up with laughter.
"You- you actually, it's too easy, at times it's just too easy!"
It was only now that Shizuo realized that people were taking pictures, cell phones aimed squarely at him.
"Stop that! What is wrong with you people?"
Izaya was snorting with laughter and wiping tears from his eyes. It was priceless.
"Shizuo, not wasting any time! I always knew that you and Izaya were meant to be!"
Erika sparkled in the front row as she delivered these lines. Shizuo recognized her and panic hit as he realized that here was someone from his circle of acquaintances, which was bad, and far too into the craziness that she was sure to spread.
"Erika-sama, aren't they adorable? Did you pick these cosplayers yourself?"
Izaya was not even surprised that fangirls saw Erika as a kind of ring leader.
"Oh, they're not cosplayers. That's the real Shizuo and Izaya. The ultimate hate sex combo!"
This time the 'kya' chorus was deafening and even Izaya was a bit distressed. He cleared his throat and tried to cut through the cacophony.
"Erika, you should inform your friends that Shizaya is so passé. Izuo all the way!"
"The fuck is that?"
Erika enlightened him.
"It's a reversal on the typical Shizuo x Izaya pairing! Izuo means that Izaya tops."
"Typical….? What…? I'm not gay! And if I was I wouldn't do it with fucking fleas!"
Erika bounced.
"Yes, keep saying that! But Shizuo, you were undressing. Don't let me stop you! Just pretend we aren't here!"
Self-consciousness kicked in. Shizuo blushed on the spot and pulled up his pants. Izaya giggled.
"Shut up!"
"Izuo or death! I'd top Shizu-chan like there's no tomorrow!"
Erika rubbed her chin thoughtfully.
"It has potential, yes. Can't deny that it has potential. But at the same time, wouldn't it be a waste of man flesh? Shizuo must be hung like a horse! A shame not to put that to good use."
Shizuo's jaw dropped.
"What- saying that kind of thing, it's just wrong. I'll have to have a word with Kadota, he should tell his friends how to act properly. Especially a lady, it's improper behavior."
"Shizu-chan is stuck in the 19th century, the poor thing! I have ideas about Izuo, you can draw some hot scenario."
"How about, wife!Shizuo? Wearing an apron and acting all cute when businessman!Izaya returns home after a hard day's work! 'Would you like dinner, a bath or me?' Cue in blushing Shizuo and then some delicious sexy times! I like it! The more I think about it, the more I like it!"
Shizuo was floored.
"Apron?"